• Member Since 31st May, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Hakuno


Izzy is best pony.

T
Source

Two weeks have passed since Sunny convinced the pony races to work together. Two weeks since magic returned to Equestria and ponies began learning about friendship.

Now, a strange weather phenomenon calls for an urgent meeting, and the five friends, along with every pony in Equestria, meet a pony that came to answer some questions and kickstart a new adventure. Turns out, activating the three pony crystals was just the beginning and there's a lot more to do.

As they travel to complete their quest, they will meet new friends and new dangers. Turns out Ancient Equestria was a lot more dangerous than they thought.


This is my first adventure fic! Any and all feedback will be greatly appreciated!

Proofreading since chapter 2 by Arbarano.

Cover art made by whizmi. This is temporary while I get a new cover art. I can't draw ponies to save my life, so I'll be looking for an artist.

11/11/21 - Featured! Holy wacamole! Thanks a lot!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 71 )

I'm loving this so far.
I actually had a thought about when or if they encounter a changeling.
It replaces pipp and hides her in a cocoon. the others notice that "pipp" hasn't touched her phone in over an hour

Hitch had told her she had a crush, but she had refused to believe it at first. How could a mare have a crush on another mare? But as days passed, she had begun to realize that that was exactly what was happening. The problem was that she didn’t know what to do with that information.

Please tell me this ends up going somewhere.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said. “I think I should explain, shouldn’t I?” She giggled sheepishly. “I’m not… quite the Fluttershy you know. About ten years after she passed away, Discord created me in her image, infusing me with her personality plus knowledge. I don’t have her memories, however.”

I really don't know how to feel about that but okay at least that explains why she's here

Silence reigned the congress again as everypony considered the words that had been pronounced. Sunny still was having a hard time looking at what essentially was the ghost of one of her heroes, and now she also had to come to terms with the fact that ponykind had literally been at the brink of dying off. That was a lot to take in! And… What was it she had said?

That is a pretty interesting and very dark theory about why is there not that many ponies out there especially the cities

Fluttershy closed her wings and looked away. “Weakened and depressed, creatures like Kirins and Changelings stopped having offspring. Dragons stopped growing and laying eggs… Even dangerous creatures like timberwolves and ursas began to disappear.”

That is another possibilities what happened to the other creatures which that kind of make me even more sad right now

Okay this is actually a pretty interesting start so far and apparently the magic it's time to show up especially how Discord introduce himself even though he can't really physically be there right now but him and the Avatar Fluttershy told them about what is going on and what happened to the magic and everything to Sunny and the others and all they have to do is to bring the crystals to that area boy this should be very interesting how this will work can't wait to see how this goes

Sad. Maybe if Twilight and her friends actually tried to reform the trio like they did with Discord instead of simply sending them away and trying to end their apparent friendship like that, they could have changed and this could have been avoided.

Loved it ;)
Can't wait to see what happens!

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I ain't tellin'!
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Thanks for the comments :3
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Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes kickstart the end of the world. Whoops?
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Stay tuned!

I say this is a good chapter but Discord forgot to tell them one thing; who was the mastermind who brought the trio together, manipulated and used them as pawns to increase Twilight's confidence? Hope Avatar Fluttershy doesn't lie to protect her creator's crimes.

“Eeth thatheth…” She said, then caught a raindrop with her tongue. “Hmm! Why didn’t you tell me it rained chocolate here?”

Uh-oh...

I am he who represents the true state of existence. I am the beginning of everything, and I am the start of the end of all things. I am both luck and chance. I am the known and the unknown. I am everywhere and nowhere. There is no need to fear me, little ponies, for I am not evil nor am I good. I simply am. In ancient times, I was called the Lord of Chaos. You can call me Discord.

Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit, Discord?

Unicorns were going to be the first ones to perish.

Another wave of gasps sounded as Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Unicorns were the most affected by the disappearance of magic. Two weeks ago, their whole city was full of depressed souls, struggling to even find the strength to go on.” She then turned to look at Izzy. “Only very few of them were still strong enough to find any motivations at all.”

That's...actually a good explanation for why the unicorns were so down in the movie.

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That isn’t exactly relevant to the current situation.

Wow, I can't wait to see more!

Great first couple chapters! I love all the lore you're creating, I can't wait to see what comes next!

“I’m not worried about rumors,” Pipp continued. “Not really, anyway. It was just an excuse for those two to have some alone time.”

Sunny cocked her head. “Alone time? For what?”

Pipp deadpanned at her. “Come on. You know why.”

While Sunny tried to think of a reason, Izzy hopped next to her and raised a hoof. “Oh! I know! They want to come up with a secret hoofshake!”

Pipp looked at Izzy with the same glare before she huffed. “Come on, girls, I can’t be the only one to notice the tension between those two?”

I didn't know Pipp was a shipper.

With exactly zero hours of proper sleep—Izzy was not only a snuggler, but a very shifty one. And the way her hooves twitched was too adorable—

Could I get a life-sized Izzy plushie to snuggle with now?

Pipp looked at Izzy with the same glare before she huffed. “Come on, girls, I can’t be the only one to notice the tension between those two?” Sunny gave Izzy a glance, and received a confused one in return, making Pipp let out an exasperated sigh. “Honestly, what did I expect from a pair of airheads?”

Ah, a fellow Zipp-Hitch shipper! Honestly, Sunny is my number one ship for Hitch (I'm a sucker for childhood-friends-becoming-lovers stories) but Zipp is a very, VERY close second. I would honestly be totally fine with her snagging Hitch. I just hope they don't do some stupid "love triangle" story.

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Also, "airheads" sounds like it would be a slur against Pegasi, Sunny.

Pipp’s frown quickly turned into a grin. “Oh, my guards are so loyal to me, I could steal my mom’s crown in front of them and they wouldn’t say a thing.”

Isn't that basically what you did 2 weeks ago?

“I think the view was amazing!” Izzy said chirpily, and her energy just put a smile on Sunny’s face. And a flush to her cheeks—she had certainly enjoyed the view.

I’m sure you did, Sunny.

Nice, Hitch is treated as a second class citizen in his friend group. Also, Pipp’s kinda rude. Why are these ponies still friends?

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If this continues, I wouldn't mind seeing Hitch put his hoof down and tell them off a bit.

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It would definitely be nice, but considering there wasn't the slightest bit of that foreshadowed here, I wouldn't get your hopes up.

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Why in the world do you say Hitch is treated like that? Is it because he was sent to sleep in another room?

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Exactly. They, as a group, decide to have a sleepover before going off on this adventure, and then AFTER they arrive at the palace together, they retroactively decide Hitch can’t attend. Imagine if your friend group did that to you. “Hey, let’s have a party!” Then when you show up they stop you, and ONLY you, at the door and say “Not you, you’re not allowed in. Later nerd!” And then all your friends go off to have fun without you. On top of that, neither Sunny nor Hitch say a word or express a single thought that this may be a kinda crappy thing to do. Nothing! Not even a curious look from Hitch to Sunny asking silently why she isn't saying anything. They are literal childhood friends. Sunny doesn’t see ANYTHING wrong with excluding ONLY him? Hitch isn’t even a LITTLE put out that he’s the only one not allowed to attend just because of his gender? Or because Pipp wants to set him up with Zipp or whatever, which is just as poorly handled for its own reasons. Where’s the humanity? Why do these ponies act like cardboard cutouts going through the motions of a script instead of actual people?

The worst thing is it’s completely unnecessary. There was no reason at all to force him out other than to remove him from the scene. I assume so you could shoehorn in a little more shipping fuel.

This whole chapter just reeks of surface level storytelling with no deeper thought or substance to it. I was pretty interested in the first chapter as it was a nice setup with some fun implications of what may happen later in the fic. And it’s sad to see a great premise peter off into mediocre shipping cliches and plot contrivances so soon.

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Welp, sad you ain't liking it.

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Exactly. They, as a group, decide to have a sleepover before going off on this adventure, and then AFTER they arrive at the palace together, they retroactively decide Hitch can’t attend. Imagine if your friend group did that to you. “Hey, let’s have a party!” Then when you show up they stop you, and ONLY you, at the door and say “Not you, you’re not allowed in. Later nerd!” And then all your friends go off to have fun without you. On top of that, neither Sunny nor Hitch say a word or express a single thought that this may be a kinda crappy thing to do. Nothing! Not even a curious look from Hitch to Sunny asking silently why she isn't saying anything. They are literal childhood friends. Sunny doesn’t see ANYTHING wrong with excluding ONLY him? Hitch isn’t even a LITTLE put out that he’s the only one not allowed to attend just because of his gender? Or because Pipp wants to set him up with Zipp or whatever, which is just as poorly handled for its own reasons.

I kind of agree with this. It did feel pretty out-of-character for Sunny not to say anything. Especially since she didn't catch on to what Pipp was trying to do. Kinda felt like "Oh, you're getting kicked out Hitch? Well, sucks to be you!"

I still gave the story a like and I will continue reading it, but that whole bit didn't feel right to me.

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She did ask Pipp if it was a bad thing he slept with them. But well, I'll take the feedback and try to get my intentions accross more clearly :3

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I will keep reading. I promise. :pinkiehappy:

Every time they hugged, she relished on her woody, floral scent.

To relish a thing is to like it. There's a weird misuse, "relish in", going around, which seems to be caused by conflation with "revel in", but I've never seen "relish on" before. Except on hot dogs.

weisel out

Weasel. It's a mustelid, not a municipality in the Rhineland.

ohh my lord Spike is as big as a flpping Mountain. o.o

“Crystal Ponies?” Hitch asked. “You mean there’s a fourth pony race?”

Thestral's: Are we a joke?

unique and special and rounded and adult

:heart:

This is really very good and it's a darn shame it's one of those fics that gets written just before the series starts and contradicts everything in it.

“Little… ponies…” The… hill said.

Hi Spike!

“You…” Zipp wheezed, blinking rapidly but her eyes never leaving the spot beneath them. “You destroyed the crowning site…”

He kind of WAS the crowning site

“Crystal!” Izzy exclaimed, beaming. Sunny looked at her, then at the direction Izzy was looking.

Gotta love that Izzy

The hill, however, heard that. And it rumbled deeply. “I am not… a hill…” Another wave of steam shot from the wall. “I am… a dragon…”

Hi Spike! Good to see you! You and Hitch could be total bros.

“You…” Zipp wheezed, blinking rapidly but her eyes never leaving the spot beneath them. “You destroyed the crowning site…”

Poor Spike. Forced to sleep for a thousand plus years, grows to the size of a mountain, and still gets zero respect.

Lovely chapter!

And I am seriously enjoying the world building.

I’m preferential to long chapters, so these are my cup of tea.

Hooray! And the next leg of the journey begins!

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A hill, but yes, he's really big. Like the dragon lord begore Ember took over.
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*looks away and whistles*
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I actually wanted to write this fic as soon as the movie came out precisely because there is no canon yet. There are a ton of things to explore and let the imagination let loose!
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Thanks! I too prefer longer chapters! When I see fics with chapters 1 or 2k words long maximum I normally get discouraged because if the story is good, then it only means there's too little! I hope my fic is good enough to make people want the long chapters!

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wow, and it's no secret that Ember's dad, Torch, was huge. o.o

For a minute I thought Sunny was going to confess to Izzy. I was disappointed.

I really hope we get to see Spike in the series, though for some reason, I doubt it'll happen.

Great start to the story! Added to my read list. Following too. :twilightsmile:

Good chapter!

I'd love to see Hitch and Zipp have some moments like you're doing for Sunny and Izzy.

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I don't think Hitch would be the type to meekly accept being treated unfairly.

"I'm the last real friend you've got in this town. Do you really want to lose me too?"

That was harsh, and he definitely could have handled the situation better. But still, he has a backbone.

That got a chuckle out of Zipp. “Definitely not.” She sat next to Izzy and idly scratched her leg. “But by law, everypony of age is required to go through Basic Survival Training, including nobility and royals. Helps make sure we have a connection with the citizens, or at least look like it.” She flicked out a wing, eyeing it beadily in the fading light. “It’s one of the laws drafted by Queen Mistralia, so, in case of another defeat, we raised our chances of survival when crossing the desert again.” The other wing popped out. “Or at least make sure we weren’t completely relying on luck.”

That's a cool way to add some depth to Pipp. She has army training.
It makes sense, too.

As far as the lengths of each chapter goes I think it’s getting to the point where you should consider splitting the chapters into multiple parts.

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