Chapter 4: The Clean Choice
Chapter 4: The Clean Choice
All four equines were deemed worthy, although each had varying experiences with the O.T. Apparently, having a jet to wash your behind was a grave oversight in Equestrian plumbing, and would be rectified upon returning home.
Hoover took them into bay twenty one, where the doors were all massive, and more spread apart.
“What monstrosities reside behind these doors?” Luna asked, walking beside Hoover, a silly grin still upon her face.
“These are the large ones, although most were designated for helping more primitive worlds should we find one, yours seems to be not too far behind. But I know one of which would benefit from your world, as apparent by the many railways visible from our satellite imagery.”
They stopped before one of the massive doors. By now, the ponies had noticed not only the radio and phone device, but Big Red was pushing around Eeore on a small wheeled cabinet made of wood.
“Alright, ponies, the final one on our list.” At Hoover’s words, this door was split in two, going into each wall.
“Oh my…” Luna gasped.
“Oh wow…” Cadence agreed.
Before them was a massive locomotive. It was all black, the number 1225 impressively blazed upon the front, showing it’s rail number.
Honestly, the Crystal Empire’s speed engine was a joke in comparison, and it was the high end fleet of engines available to all of Equestria.
“Meet the N-one two dash eight dash four Berkshire, or as we simply call him Pere because of his original operation line.”
“Greetings,” the booming, yet not overly loud voice said, followed by a ring of a bell.
“You’re huge!” Twilight blurted out, which she quickly covered her muzzle with a blush on her cheeks.
“Haha, yes, I get that many times.”
Hoover rolled forward. “Pere here was a museum piece, tour train, used as the inspiration for one of the most popular children’s books for the Christmas holiday, and around the year two thousand one hundred and ten, used as a red cross engine after the massive EMP bombs took out most modern electronics of the era.”
“I did my duty, with honor.”
“Your chip wasn’t even installed then!”
“Yet I still have many of those battle scars as reminders.”
“Yeah yeah. Anyway, why I wanted to show this to you. From what I could gather from our surveyors, and my own experience, train travel is quite popular in your world, however the sizes are… small. Seems most of your trains could only pull about fifty cars at most.”
“Yes, that’s about right,” Celestia said, still looking on in awe.
“Fifty? How sad. I can easily haul four times that, and travel great lengths and distances. Had I been converted like my sister in the early twenty second century with a nuclear reactor, I could haul even more.”
“Sister?” Celestia asked.
“Nuclear reactor!?” Twilight gasped.
“It is but a sad story, one I’m sure Hoover would love to tell you later, nor would I wish upon the horrors of when her reactor went critical.”
“She detonated around twenty three oh seven, and when we were thrust into space, you could see the area of effect still two hundred years later,” Hoover said solemnly.
And then, the final bit of tour began, as the four equestrian’s began to study Pere, with the four other items following them, talking, conversing, and above all else, sharing. Knowledge, music, even poetry, everypony and every item talked about what they were about, who they were, and simply marvel at how the previous Masters of all this were both mad and brave.
Throughout all of this, Hoover continued to interject when he felt needed, and sprinkle in details forgone by the others.
Another hour had gone by, where they all met back at the front of Pere, the locomotive cooling down after showing off his steam capacity to a curious Luna and Cadence, even allowing them to try his whistle.
Alas, as all good things, they had to come to an end.
“So, you’ve met your candidates, now I hope you can come together on a decision,” Hoover stood before the four ponies, all of which still looking around, smiles plastered upon their faces.
It was young Twilight, however, that drew in her fellow alicorns, whispering, and looking back at the assembled group.
Then, Pere let out a hearty chuckle, apparently overhearing what was being said.
“You should ask him, then,” he said, clearly to the ponies.
Nodding, Twilight was the one to step forward, uncertainty clearly on her mind, but with three of her peers silently cheering her on, she gulped and put a forehoof forward.
“Hoover, is there anything saying we can pick something else, than what you’ve shown us?”
The vacuum cleaner was silent, the headlamp dim. “I’m… sorry? What?”
“Is there?” Twilight asked again.
“Well… I mean, no, I just simply went through the database to establish what candidates would best-”
“Then we’d like to pick you,” Twilight cut off the appliance.
Hoover rolled back, headlamp glowing bright white. “M-M-ME!? What? But-”
“Would that be a problem?” Celestia stepped forward. “While we appreciate, and adore these others you’ve shown us…”
Luna then joined in. “We all have found your company quite enjoyable.”
Then Cadence stepped up. “We know you said you have an important job here, but is it something that could be placed upon another?”
“Well, I mean, nothing says it has to just be me… but I’ve done it so long… I just…”
“Little Hoover, you have done much for us, for humanity, but it is time to do for yourself. You’ve been awake for so many cycles. Go, share with these equines our homeworld, our Masters.”
“But what of Three Point One!? Surely he will not-”
There was a crackle of static, and a voice boomed over a speaker.
“I’ve already filled out the paperwork. Your replacement is being sought out as you sit there and blubber on.” The computer’s voice called out.
“I… I don’t know what to say. None of the six previous species ever considered me before… I just…”
“Well then, we make number seven, and seven has proven itself to be quite a lucky number,” Celestia smiled down at the vacuum cleaner.
“Yes… same with… the Masters.”
There was another bout of silence.
“Sooooo…” Cadence said, leaning forward. “Do you wanna?”
“Um… yes?”
What next caught the vacuum by surprise, nearly causing him to inflate his bag as a defensive mechanism.
All four of the ponies rushed forward, hugging the appliance between themselves.
“Welcome to Equestria, Hoover,” Twilight said.
----------
Several Years Later…
----------
Princess Twilight Sparkle walked about her Canterlot Castle with long, powerful, and graceful strides. She hummed one of the many new songs to hit the airwaves in Equestria. Herself, as well as the other three alicorns, had made an announcement of the discovery of a bountiful resource of knowledge, art, music, and inventions from a passing alien craft, shared willingly to them by its creators. It had been such a joyous occasion, that even the tabloid ponies paid the small scar on her scalp no mind.
So over the course of a couple months, a new art exhibit was opened in Canterlot’s Museum of Arts, where one former Princess of the Night shared tales and stories, their history, and what they meant to a long lost people. Of what these humans had created on canvas, or photographed, for all of time to remember.
Music notes and stanzas had begun to be floated around, even going so far as a few groups to spring up which specialized in the unique music choices, including four changelings whose sole goal was to spread rock and roll. It was the Princess of Love herself who strived for the ever encompassing passion of music to be heard throughout the land.
And then there was the technological boom. While many things would not be happening overnight, there was enough information to have the Canterlot, Manehattan, Fillydelphia, and many other institutes busy for generations to come. Advancements that would one day ensure Equestria as a utopia of prosperity. Celestia herself oversaw the tutelage, which gave the returned teacher something to look forward to that wasn’t bingo.
Rounding a corner, Twilight nodded to a passing maid, and then stopped before a simple closet door, where one lone guard stood vigilant.
“Is he in?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, your highness, he is just resting after working in the west wing.”
Nodding, Twilight rapped on the door with three gentle knocks.
The door opened, revealing a simple cleaning closet, filled with chemical supplies, brooms, mops, and of course-
“Good day to you, Hoover.”
“Your highness!” a mostly green, with a bit of gray on the lower half, vacuum cleaner said happily, each syllable enhanced by the strobing of its headlamp.
From her pocket dimension, a large notepad and quill were pulled out, already half full of notes, stories, and other such things to be published one day. “I have some time off, and wondered if you wished to join me while I enjoy my lunch? Maybe share another story or two?”
The vacuum cleaner rolled out of the closet, the guard graciously closing the door behind it. Then, Twilight swept a hoof ahead of her, and the appliance began rolling down the hall, Twilight taking strides to walk beside it.
“So,” Hoover began, “with any luck we’ll have the television set completed in a few decades, but I have to tell you about my favorite I Love Lucy episode. It’s all about candy, you see, chocolates to be exact…”
The End.
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I'm assuming that's from the brain tissue removal.
In the Year 2525... If man is still alive..
That was cute, really cool to see you still writing after all these years.
Hmmm, very interesting, and also silly ...
[* One man's junk is another man's treasure *]
OH, Lucy's chocolate scene is rather close to Pinkie's cherry one
Very light hearted and funny I love it
anytime i see '2525' in the tittle of something i think of the tv show 'cleopatra 2525'
10795770
Im ashamed to admit it was inspired kinda by the episode of Bobs Burgers, where Gene finds a toilet in the woods.
10795790
Maaaaaybe.
10795972
I'm kinda glad it was the cell phone that had you concerned the most.
10796440
Hah, actually that would have been fun too.
I kept thinking... Brave little toaster. This was incredibly well done; though, you're right the last section was a little short. Thank you
Thats random
Cover art seems to be an edited version of this piece by Johan Swanepoel: https://www.johanswanepoel.com/media/56d0e9ec-6b4f-4ae4-a61e-977df5ad27b7
The earth looks different, but the debris field is exactly the same. Not sure if someone ripped someone else off or what.
10797102
This was a fun story. It's a nice change of pace to read about post-humanity stuff without it getting heavy.
10797451
Pretty sure the one you found is a variant done by the same artist. He's selling one nearly identical to the cover art (only with blue tinting instead of gold) through iStock.
The microwave with the brain the size of a planet--"Life? Don't talk to me about life."
Thanks for the story, hope you're feeling better
In my house when sick, we always had a Hot toddy (whiskey & honey) before bed.
But this story got me now looking for retired princess stories.
Oh yes. I've heard even Celestia enjoys their tune dedicated to her, titled-"Here Comes The Sun... Goddess."
Madness. Madness, indeed. But, adorable madness :)
10795857 WE are going to make certain that does not happen. You filthy monkeys will never threaten my galactic real estate trade empire! Right Ginyu? (Absolutely, Lord Freeza!)
i have several questions that i feel shouldnt be answered
10799489
Not after we breed our women with Sayians
10799680 "Princess Truuuuuunks..."
Well that was a interesting fic...wait, a vacuum...toaster..lamp..radio..angry car....hmm, was the toaster brave by chance?
This was a fun and silly read. Was a little disappointed that the Flying Scotsman wasn't the steam engine for choice considering its world renown fame and achievements.
Thanks for the fun read.
Good story. I really liked it.
IMPROPER PHYSICS DETECTED!! NUCLEAR REACTOR CRITICALITY DOES NOT RESULT IN DETONATION, BUT MELTDOWN!! ANY EXPLOSIVE EVENTS ARE CAUSED BY HYPERCRITICAL STEAM PRESSURE!!! THIS STORY HAS FAILED MY SCIENCE SENSES!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *Robcakeran53 is CANCELLED from all social media... and all appliance conventions... for his GRIEVOUS sins! His only hope for remorse is to 'donate' all his organs to the CCP Organ Procurement Bureau! ... DONATION BEGINS NOW!!*
10798676 Ha ha! I get it! .... It's the "Moody Blues", right?
Unholy emanations from the body? You're a New Jersian too?
10797451
10797656
Thanks for the find, gang. I'll edit the proper credit in the description.
10799603
No... no, trust me you don't.
10805602
HAH, GOD NO. I'm dumb but not suicidal.
10801423
Actually no the toaster was an absolute coward. I even said one planet with a water species wanted the toaster, to which it nope'd the fuck out of that.
10805593
IT WAS THE TWENTY FORTH CENTURY, PHYSICS PROBABLY CHANGED BY THEN OR SOMETHING.
10806651 YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE PHYSICS IF YOU KNOW THE COSMIC SOURCE CODE!!!
Or do that manifestation thing all the Tiktok thots are into now... why is humanity becoming stupider by the day now?
Well, doesn't that just beat all?
Wait, 2525?
Is there a human colony known as Harvest in this story? 'Cause it's probably burning right now.
10806651
26th century, actually
loved it!
This may be the oddest story I’ve ever read here. That’s saying something…
11468496
Glad I can have that effect on people still.
You can has review!
11808369
Ey, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.