• Member Since 18th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 26th, 2018


I write books, make indie games, love Pokemon and FIM, and have a Ko-Fi, please give me money. Currently working on: Pokemon InfraRed and UltraViolet.


When Humanity met Ponykind, things went poorly for Humanity. Ponykind eventually won, but a Unicorn named Prancer blames humanity for every death in the process, and especially for the problems Equestria ran into when the war was over. Surely, humanity's evil nature must have rubbed off on Ponykind! That's the only explanation she's willing to accept. Determined to set things right, she travels back in time, and sets out to solve the problem by turning herself into a magical virus designed to "Take the evil out of Humanity", while making them stronger, smarter, and more magically powerful in the process.

What could possibly go wrong?

Disclaimer: The story's protagonist hates humanity, I do not. If you hate Prancer, or think she's an arrogant prat, it's because you're kind of supposed to. She blames humanity for Equestria's desire to from-a-certain-point-of-view semi-genocide humanity, man, and she decides the best way to fix the solution is to magically "Fix" humanity before Equestria sees it. I don't agree with her views, philosophy, or methodology. Or her quickness to assume that if Ponykind does something she doesn't like, humanity must be to blame. This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to any characters, people, or worlds, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Remember, TCB isn't anti-humanity, it's anti-TCB humanity. That particular future version of humanity that destroyed its own planet and has no future. In this setting, choosing to remain a human and die a human would make about as much sense as a human refusing The Doctor's aid, refusing to get into the TARDIS, and choosing to stay on earth and "Die a human" by dying when the earth is swallowed by the sun. Same goes for trying to stop The Doctor, or in this case, Ponykind.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 58 )

(Claps) Now that is how you fix a problem the right way. I love your version a lot better than most TCB Stories. Is it wrong that I think something along these lines is necessary if things don't change?

I see that Plague Inc. was part of the inspiration. More precisely, its Restore Christmas trough brain parasite.

This was a pretty interesting read. The twists and turns and the cascade into controlled OPness on a species level was amusing. But all in all, it really does seem like a strong possibility giving the set up :rainbowlaugh:


I finally did it! It took longer than I expected, but I finally finished my The Conversion Bureau story, TCB: Rewrite of 1996!
Could you please review it, and give me feedback?

I will try, but it is a difficult request. You have, after a fashion, attempted to follow the Three Rules that define the genre: there is transformation of a sort, and humans must react to that transformation (rules 1 and 3, respectively), but I cannot say rule 2 - that the story express a love for both ponies and Celestia and Luna - is exactly present. If anything, Equestria comes across quite negatively, overall. Since the story is focused on avoiding transformation into a pony state, and is instead angled towards transforming into a vaguely inhuman-but-humanoid like state, it almost comes across as an anti-TCB story.

I have two main issues with your story - one is a logical inconsistancy, the other is a reliance on telling, rather than showing. I will address these.

The inconsistancy is in the newfoal, formerly human protagonist, Royal Scientist Prancer. In the story, former humans are described thus:

Earth had people, and far too many of them. Equestria was flooded with stupid, mindless, perpetually-smiling mockeries of the equine form

This would indicate, clearly, that in your universe Conversion leaves humans as poor imitations of native Equestrians, unable to work, function in society, or achieve any status or acceptance. This tragic inequity is the primary and sole reason for Prancer's actions and behavior in the story.

Celestia had to ban all newfoals from working complex jobs, and from working at all without a manager present.

Yet, in the story, newfoal Prancer is not a drooling incomptent (which, actually, might have been an interesting take) at all, rather she is 'Royal Scientist Prancer', a high-ranking court mage with literally Mary-Sue levels of magical understanding and ability. As a character, her capabilities and powers rival or exceed that of Twilight Sparkle herself. How, in such a scenario, could a former human ever hope to become a member of Celestia's inner court and achieve such prestege and power and acceptance? Why is Prancer so special among so many billions of former humans? Considering how long it takes to become competent at any one thing (10,000 hours, on average) and the issues of socializing and integrating into courtly life, how could Prancer be so negative towards her countless many teachers, classmates, inevitable friends and acquaintences, and the very nation that permitted her to achieve such greatness? Even if she is the 'One Good Human' in all the world, the Newfoal Jesus, how would such a person, with such a history, ever decide that the total obliteration of the past was the best answer to the problem of newfoal inequality? Wouldn't a power so great that it could dissolve itself into all other living newfoals as a sapient virus just as easily work out a cure that could modify the existing newfoals into equally intelligent Equestrian citizens? Wouldn't that be a more reasonable path for a Royal Court Scientist that - by definition - must have vowed on her very soul to defend and protect Equestria and the princesses? Her actions, at the end, result in...

Earth begins to nonviolently dominate them in trade, magical research, technological development, and even in culture.

This is ultimately treason and a violation of everything Prancer would have had to be in order to become a Royal Scientist. It is all logically inconsistant.

The second issue I have is that the majority of your story is not a story, rather it is a list. An example:


The literacy rate soars worldwide as more intelligent babies and children start to vastly outperform their parents.

Universes that were altered significantly by a Prancer carrier in the past, or “Past Universes” as they're now officially called, begin to aid the main universe, or “Prime Universe”, in its scientific and magiscientific exploits.


Out of nostalgia for her old home, Prancer grants humanity the ability to develop impossible hair and eye colours: Green, purple, pink, and so on.


Stand Battling(Duels between Stand Users, narrated and explained by Stand-using judges), Beam Struggling(Magical Duels in which two mages fire magical attacks at each other, their beams clashing and pushing against one another in a sort of reversed Tug of War game)

And so on. This sort of listmaking accounts for more than sixty percent of the length of your work.

The prime rule for telling stories is to show, rather than tell. Lists are nothing but telling. This problem can be solved, easily. Allow me to demonstrate by converting one of your list entries into actual storytelling, using a method also used by the famous writer Issac Asimov in his story 'The Last Question':

First, a part of one of your list entries:

Day 10

845 people were infected.

Finalized the ability to bypass the species barrier, in the case of small animals, such as rodents, insects, dogs, and cats. These animals couldn't be affected by the disease, but it could reproduce within their digestive tracts. Her virus could find itself transmitted through contact with their dust, hair follicles, and... residue.

This is not storytelling. But this, is:

The essence of Prancer, swirling cells, moved liquidly through a rat. Prancer sensed rodent arteries, the curve of furry ears, the sharpness of miniscule teeth. She was in the beast's blood, and through the blood knew it's shape and form. Her diffuse consciousness had begun to grasp a necessity, one that plagued her in some manner - for there was now precious little of her to plague - almost akin to an itch. An itch she could never scratch, for she no longer had a body - she was spread across the vastness of the world, distributed in hundreds of separate bodies. But she could solve, and the problem to solve was how she could get into more humans, more and more and more...

Some whispering part of Prancer's mind remembered the history of the earth, the Black Plague... animals... fleas that carried the deadly virus that had slain so many. The thought took form in Prancer, and that was why she had moved a few of her cells into a tiny, nibbling rat. If she could find a way to keep her cells alive inside the creature, if she could replicate them within, she could use rodents as a vector. She could sneak into every home and every hovel, for rats were everywhere Man was. The overseeing geist of Prancer began to shift the genes of the cells inside the rat, a base-pair here, an epigenetic methyl group there, until she felt the rat's life begin to become her own.

So, what's the difference? We still have a protagonist! We still have decisions and choices being made! We have actions occuring, and descriptions and even a location described! We have real storytelling, and not just a list entry. If you have to go that way (rapid year jumps) - and few can pull it off - it is imperative that you do so as a storyteller and not just as a listmaker. Nobody wants to read a list of historical events for entertainment. It is dry, boring, and has no action or character. It's just a list, and that makes it poor writing.

I don't want to be mean here. But I cannot help but be honest. Your story features a completely improbable Mary-Sue who turns irrationally against her own kind (to become a Royal Scientist, she must have lived as a pony for decades - she would have family, friends, and be accepted as a trusted member of the royal court! Equestria would rationally, naturally be her true home by such a point. It would be what she would care about - not the long-gone earth) and then promptly devolves into a long catalogue of date entries and empty, dry factoids. That isn't a story. That definitely isn't good writing. It is a notion, a concept, an outline at best.

And at worst... well...

True, three-rules compatible TCB stories never paint ponies as racially evil. And this story does - newfoals are rendered into dysfunctional idiots and then put into institutional situations all without anypony caring at all. That isn't kind, that isn't pony, and it does not fit any aspect of the Equestrians as presented in the show, and certainly not as presented in the Bureau genre. In all true, 3-rules stories, newfoals are equal in every respect to Equestrians, mentally and physically, and are, often, a little better.

More than this, human culture is never 'erased and obliterated' in proper 3-rules TCB stories. Instead, human culture adds to Equestrian culture. The most violent and destructive human ideas are generally not allowed - obviously - but music and song, stories and plays, cartoons and games, and especially cuisine and cultural artifacts are all preserved and celebrated. You have made your Equestrians rampaging supremacists. That is not genre at all. That is anti-TCB, and it truly makes me wonder where you are coming from... and whether you are coming from a place of kindness and peace.

So, while I find your story intriguing at the sci-fi level, I find it fails as a Bureau novel and it borders on hatefulness. But this is not my true problem with this story.

My real problem with your story is that it is boring. It is a preface to a list. The protagonist doesn't make sense and has no inner life or relationships or anything that could make the reader care about, or understand her at all. What we do know of her strongly conflicts with the actions she takes, and all without any believable or well-presented reason (beyond 'Oh god! It's horrible!'). She, a trusted Royal Scientist (by definition a crown appointed position!) chooses to solve the problem of derpy (for some unexplained reason) newfoals by... literally destroying her entire past, the past of every soul she has ever cared about, and thus her entire reality. By changing history as she does, she destroys any family she might have had (we don't know, because she is not at all developed), any relationships with teachers or classmates she must have had (logically, she went to school to learn magic!), and every other life around her. For what?

So humans wouldn't have to be ponies. So they could remain bipeds. And so they could keep the culture she must have (logically) let go of to become a Royal Scientist.

Yet the entire dilemna presented could have been solved with a basic 'intelligence enhancement' cantrip, or a spell designed to fix whatever went wrong during transformation.

But none of this is even relevant compared to the character assasination of Celestia. Celestia, who - in your story - merrily sweeps under the carpet billions - billions - of newfoal lives... the majority of her new population of ponies in her universe.... by shrinking them down and putting them in tiny newfoal reservations? Really? Seriously? This is kind, compassionate Celestia in your story?

Okay, fine. You want Celestia to be a monster, that's your choice. But... that automatically violates rule 2 of the Bureau as a genre.

I'm trying to be straightforward here, I am working to be kind, I am showing examples and explaining myself. But... this work... reads like an anti-TCB screed, one that took no work, no effort, and not even an attempt at telling an actual story. It's an outline for an anti-TCB story. A list of a potential anti-TCB story. And I have a problem with that.

If you are going to do an anti-TCB story, at least write an actual story and not a preable to a list. A list is not a story!

You seemed kind enough, in your previous posts... but this... this really makes me wonder if this was some kind of long con. Seriously. But... that's okay, that's fine... if the result was a decent story. A story, not a list. Which, mostly, this is not.

God, I hate being so negative, and so blunt, but... this really, super doesn't work as a story. It has some cool notions, but they are all undeveloped and not really used. It's an outline. It should be a story. But it isn't a Bureau story. It is, if anything, an anti-Bureau story.

So, if you decide to expand this list into a real story, with character interactions, rational cause and effect, emotions and motivations, with actions and feelings and dialogue, don't call it Conversion Bureau, because it isn't. It's pretty negative toward ponies and Equestria, so... it's an anti-Bureau story. It does count as a sort of transformation scenario, sort of. So, there's that.

But, as it stands... well... it's mostly a list. I'm sorry, but... that is the plain fact of it. I've demonstrated a way you could do something with that, but it would take effort. Whether that is something you want to do, well... let me know, and I will give it a read.

With due respect. every time I see a TCB story that plays with the premise, I see you there pointing out it doesn't follow the 'rules'.

Whose rules? Who wrote them? Who enforces them? Who are you to tell someone what they are and are not allowed to write?

I respect you not wishing to read stories that don't match what you feel this genre should be. But there's a reason we have an Alt-universe tag, and it is, indeed possible to write fiction that is an Alt-Universe of what itself is an Alt-Universe.

I also respect you as an author, but as one myself, I have to maintain that so long as one isn't writing something with the clear intent to cause harm, that someone has the right to write what they wish.

And yes, I realize that in saying something I am being a hypocrite, but

big A #6 · Jun 4th, 2018 · · 4 ·

Oh thats rich coming from you, what culture do they preserve since humanity is no more and they willingly killed them. There are no rules and this isnt your genre that you made, the original creator was disgusted with the genre and left it, you are not the creator and therefore you have no stake or claim to the genre and therefore there are no rules

Nah. The globalist elite are ruining our planet, and we need the ability to say this out loud without fear of censorship. It isn't "Capitalism's fault" that some cabal of old-money assholes banded together to subvert the free market and damage it for everyone, ruin public schools, legalize TV propaganda, and hire incompetents to teach children to become overgrown children who then get propagandized in college.


Now those bastards want to ruin the internet, the last free place on planet earth.

Funny you should say that, I went through a lot of Neurax Worm playthroughs to get a good score with zero deaths, then built this story around that for the virus part.

Comment posted by Chatoyance deleted Jun 4th, 2018

it was a nice read, I dislike the multiverse part but aside from that is was okay, not bad for a CB fic

What if, when ponykind had first met humanity, something in them had rubbed off onto ponykind?

Well, given the ponykind's hysterical reaction to humanity, I'd say it was present before.

Somepony had to stop them from being so disgusting, so repulsive, that simply being observed could corrupt her inherently pure species!

Bad humans! How do they dare corrupt ponies even after dying out! Also, inherently pure species? Citation needed.

Not to mention the way they burned their food before eating it, like animals. They even burned some sweets, like marshmallows!

And then Applejack was sent to a gulag for following filthy human habits. Also, I'd like to know any example of an animal that burns their food before eating it. That and weaving an extended Pokemon reference into the narrative makes me think you're actually taking the piss out of unsuspecting TCB fans, waiting for someone to get it. It may be a long wait; most TCB fans aren't that bright.

Farts! Farts, she realized. Farts came from digested food that came from outside. Then they came from within, and then went outside. Also, Humanity could create fire by igniting its own farts!

Kudzuhaiku? Is that you?

Humanity doesn't just survive the Millennium Bug, it avoids it entirely.

Not that it did the same thing without the magical mumbo-jumbo virus thingy. It's been 18 years ago, goddamit.


Okay, fine. You want Celestia to be a monster, that's your choice. But... that automatically violates rule 2 of the Bureau as a genre.

Except in TCB Celestia is already a monster, at least from the human standpoint. But hey, no one in supposedly-benevolent-quasi-totalitarian universe of TCB gives a fuck about humans. Just like no one gives a fuck about whatever rules you quote. 8965872 is right, there are no rules. It's not a religion, it's a fanfiction genre (or even fanfiction of a fanfiction) created by more people than just you and as such, its foundation can be questioned, rewritten, interpreted differently, deconstructed, reconstructed and whatnot. Moreover, this genre is way past its prime. Most of the ways it could be deconstructed or reconstructed were already done, it'd been dragged through the mud to hell and back and lost any semblance of relevance as people moved on to newer fads. What we have now are death throes in the gutter. How many TCB fics appear these days? How many are good? Does any author who isn't a clueless newbie write TCB? Hardly. This very story, either due to author's ineptitude or their intentional artistic choices, borders on parody. In this situation, I'm afraid those rules you quote are pretty much bupkis.


Dear Chat, you are not the fucking monarch of TCB, a premise, which, by the way, demands Celestia and the ponies be evil, because it mandates genocide of the human race.

Please tell me you see I was doing that bullshit with the "Prancer blaming humanity for ponykind's desire to genocide humanity and erase its architecture and achievements" bit on purpose.

Tell me I don't need to add a disclaimer in spoiler-tags to the description. Fuck it, I'll do it anyway.

Well, actually I think this is a trollfic. Too many ridiculous lines for it to be taken as an honest attempt.

Like what, the term "Pride and accomplishment" used unironically?


Dear Princess Celestia

Today I learned an important lesson about why you never try to please everybody.

Your faithful student,
Silver Star Apple.

One more thing, could you explain that "Are you Kudzuhaiku" joke? Who is Kudzuhaiku?

Nah, all the Pokemon and Pandemic references as well as mentions of farts in what is supposed to be a serious fic. Speaking of, kudzuhaiku is a fimfic writer who is known for, among other things, references to farts in his fics.

Huh. Weird. Guess one writer has a copyright on flatulence now.

Infamy, more like.

Just get on with it and tell me what bullshit he supposedly pulled.

I'm personally not a fan of the story. It's fine at first, I just could've used a bit more to it. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I dislike the idea of our unpleasant edges being smoothed over, by a disease-based entity that spawns across multiple timelines. I think what would've made this story better, would've been the Newfoals had managed to overcome the intelligence block and had put Equestria into a decades long conflict with a species that was pissed at their new forms, and the erasure of their forms and culture. So Prancer gets sent back to prevent this, after Cadance, Twilight and Celestia have all been killed during the course oft his war.

How dare you spam this in all those groups, don't do that again.

That would be more interesting, I wish I went with that instead of this stupid "Try and please TCB lovers by giving the protagonist role to a human-hater, but please the TCB haters by having humanity come out on top in the end" thing.

All those groups my story fits into.

That said, 118 groups in one day? I'm supposed to be on vacation.

I'm going to assume that applying to 118 different groups in a day for your own story has something to do with the fact you're name is now crossed out.

Well... That's interesting. I'll just go get my Gary Sue armor to protect from the environment and teleportation, and have the ability to cleanse objects of disease, and go take some of those Omnitrixes. Maybe some of the inevitable electricity to magic converters too...

Newfoals would be gathered together and shrunk in size to a quarter-inch in height

You monster, you've invented fluffy ponies! :fluttershbad:

fluffy ponies are people! Peeeeeeople!!!

This story was okay for a fixfic. I kept waiting for something Prancer did to go wrong, not that it had to, but it was a bit overly convenient that everything went as planned. The uh... timeframe was way too fast. The story might've worked better if it was a group of ponies going against TCB, who engineered this um... less bad conversion bureau.

...what happens if somepony inadvertently dispels Prancer's transformation spell?

good story, especially at the second half I was laughting non-stop! and this in itself quite big thing for me lately ...

Or, were they too... dare she say it... optimistic? Optimistic and determined. It was almost as if a group of creatures that were neither inherently good or evil were trying, and frequently failing, to be good.

- gold .. Other analysis around those lines also seems to be ...correct, or at very least very like one I come at after some living (and trying to be good, and failing).

I think reference to accelerated evolution come from very early science fiction tale..Back when 'evolution' itself was much newer concept.

Brief joke about 'creatures of {ass}fire" definitely is good enough for me to laugh for some more time!

On capitalism: it can be good as game (we know games NOT about to literally strip your life and mind-alter you into darkness too universally and easily. Games can be serious, but at the end they end with friendly ...conversation? Not something brutal and life-and-death choice). Or capitalism can be good if we accept as highest possibly capital living this friendly/giving life, as honesty as possible and even beyond, not just amassing some symbols of power in already pre-biased 'game' by wrong players and wrong rules. But yeah, fixing _this_ probably require some sapient magic plague from another universe :/

I for example can't feel good at all while I know _anything_ I possibly can do will be easily erased by those 'businesses' and their supportive ideologies, carried by less-thinking, MUCH less emphatic, yet nearly infinitely more powerful in current situation humans. I can NOT enjoy _reading_!!! This is by itself sight of unhealthy situation for me, one who used to love books! I can't enter old or new groups on Internet because I fear only thing I will carry away from them will be more frustration about even right words paired with impossibility of actions :/ I can't drop some of my legacy, but not because I'm so powerful, but simply because I apparently cornered myself with my social tendency to talk with SOMEONE at least into corner where few remaining human friends still apparently care about what will really happen to dolphins and similar beings :/! Note, not because I even can say honestly I still want to move/turn world around for those non-humans, i'm too dead for any of this - simply because I have no-one else to talk with! All goals, even important ones, just faded for me ..if I can't possibly reach them - why trying? Yet, what else I have to do? Consuming images and texts? Reporting minor bugs to software developers and testing their fixes? Walking with my dog at any time he wants? It all combined still not filling me .....

additional comment: yes, as strangely as it feels, this not-a-story was much better for me _right now_ than many other proper stories I was reading in last 48 hours. Guess I found it too painful to relate all those heroic stories to my own life - because ..well. On pages and pages writers boost their loyality to humanity as some kind of super-organism, painting at the same time how even loss of just one really loved being harshly impact human (or pony) ... yet, when it comes to real-world story all this understanding seems to mostly disappear or not even come to surface? yeah, some dude tried to save dolphins from captivity and more, uttery failed, lost many (not quite, as it turned out. not for this task anyway) friends, entered longest depression in his life, yet it all just ...nothing? Compared to imaginable world-wide world ends ... sorry, it doesn't feel ...right ..from my point of feeling. :/ May be some 10 or even 5 years before I had more time enjoying epics. Now ..they all laugh too dark at me.

Chatoynace's answer was informative and good, I wonder what was in second one (deleted)? Yet, for me right now story like this had more meaning than epics like https://www.fimfiction.net/story/277114/18/founders-of-alexandria/ or "Friendly fire".

I was also about to comment on genocide term. May be correct term about such level of annihilation should be ..memorycide? Because, as far as we know, genes don't feel, they don't have their own emotions, and they only (important) _part_ of what makes live beings - live! So, erasing someone's individual/collective memory IS crime [BIG wrong], while (at some advanced, {and may be impossible here} level presented in may transformation stories) 'killing' genes should be okey. It all probably just humanity's (west?) new legacy, when someone come up with sticking term, based on apparently overinflated role attached to genes in human (and non-human) development. Bloodlines and all this ...

A very confused magic-less human misses being so buff and smart, and wants to go back to being a magic smart buff super-cool badass. Only a long period of time in his regular human form would let him wonder if maybe, this whole "Spontaneous evolution" thing wasn't natural at all, and suspect that maybe, it might be a bad thing for the species.

Nah, it's because I pissed off the crybaby Displaced group owner. And pissed him off more by making my own Displaced group, thereby threatening his power. But I really just want to move on from all this garbage and run my new group in peace. Shame the little crybully threatened to ban anyone who joins my group from her group, her HiE group, and other groups she's an admin in, and then cried oppression until I got banned, eh?

One really annoying thing about the world we live in? It isn't real Free Market Capitalism. Big businesses buy government pawns and senators, and good reviews from corrupt reviewers, and good coverage from corrupt journalists, and they use these to push substandard products onto people while manipulating the government to make life harder on small businesses than it needs to be. Big businesses have absolute, unquestionable power and armies of blind fanboys who'll defend them to the death in online arguments they know they only engage in to spread lies.

If I don't like the bananas they sell at my local store, I should be able to go to a different store and buy bananas there, instead. Similarly, if I don't like what EA sells me, I should be able to go to a different developer and buy a similar but better and more ethical game from them. Companies should be TERRIFIED of pissing the consumer off and going too far with their corporate greed, because pissing the consumers off should be a death sentence for them like it was for Gawker/Buzzfeed and the like. But all these major companies have a monopoly on the "Triple-Ay" market, where big budget games make bigger profit because they're marketed to normies who consider microtransactions and lootboxes and mobile-game BS perfectly fair, just like they consider the price at cinemas perfectly fair. These companies have a negative effect on the games market because they soak up disposable income and force other companies to copy their bullshit if they want to even hope to compete profit-wise.

I might not have any faith in Free Market either (at lest with current humans), but you see ..exactly very this ongoing process of most powerful (and less powerful) humans being actually unable to overcome some inertia in behavior, sometimes blocked at thinking stage, nearly always - on acting stage ... it says about humans being not ready for what they collectively created! It not backfired with absolute fatality yet (while looking at # of humans who actually can counteract something like dolphin captivity, or other supposedly 'small' scale problems I started to suspect things definitely not rosy ... ), if we not count all those WW1, WW2, WW_next .....still, from example of my country even completely non-fatal (compared to actual {civil} war) negative changes can make big negative difference for decades..on surface it all OK, cars running, humans walking with their childrens, we even have our trees here...yet ...if you stop for a moment and try to think deeper, or something pushed you into neccessarity of such thinking...picture become quite dark. And not like this darkness can be overturned easily.

Greenland is infected

You have no idea how happy I got when I read this Plauge inc. joke

That game was a big inspiration for this.

How is this humanity kicking ass? I was expecting more of normal humans, with technology not tainted with FILTHY FUCKING MAGIC!
I fail to see this as humanity kicking ass, more like a dumb version of humanity......I can not see this is a true humanity kicking ass story.

Humanity "Tainted" with magic, huh?

Da. I always think that if they are to kick ass and chew bubble gum they need to be normal bad ass humans....I just think that when you start writing humans with magic I always see society's in fictional storys that also use magic and technological they are very far behind and we in the modern-day have modern technology.......that and we dont have tails......this is not a bad story but I just do not enjoy it. The story does have good merits but I just do not like the concept.

I would like to hear moar then that.

Well... I don't normally say things like this, but I feel that here and now, it needs to be said. If you want to read a fic where humanity is a violent and powerful race of gum-chewing gun-toting mega-badasses who defeat ponykind and save the day, why aren't you reading one?

This is a story that seeks to challenge the "Irredeemable" status the humanity of the Conversion Bureau supposedly put itself in by ruining the world so much. This is a story where one pony goes back in time, turns herself into a virus, something supposedly evil, and helps them turn things around and take a better path. This is a story where a pony helps the doomed humanity of the TCB universe get back on its feet and stand taller than ever by the time the rest of her ponies show up. And when her ponies do show up, the two specieses become friends.

I'll admit, this story isn't one of those fics where Miles Quaritch and Doomguy and the protags of GTA and Sonic the Hedgehog and the Ultramarines and the dying guy from Pacific Rim fist-bump each other before slaughtering "Evil alternate universe" ponies "From the Queen Celestia dimension instead of the real MLP dimension" with their mega-death war-machines. This isn't a story where Twilight Sparkle's guts and bone fragments cause Commander Killyfuck McKilarmy to throw his jammed-up overheating chainsword aside, throw aside the chaingun-bolter-combo that ran out of living moving targets worthy of its power before it ran out of bullets, and charge straight at Demon Queen Celestia with nothing but his combat knife, and win because his mecha-turbo Power Armor is so goddamn fast and tough and invincible and so is his fighting spirit.

This story isn't one of those fics, I admit it. And it isn't supposed to be one of those fics. I don't resent those fics, and I don't resent you for liking those fics or wanting to read another one. But I'm trying to do something different here, so please respect that. I'm trying to change up the status quo. And if you want to read one of the many, many, many fics that fall into that comfortable and familiar status quo, go and read one. There are plenty of those fics out there, waiting to be read, competing with each other to see who can be the bloodiest and coolest and killiest ever. And you can write your own, if you want.

Hell, I'll even give you permission to write a story where the coolest humanity you can think of goes toe to toe with my Prancer-enhanced Humanity and wins, if you want. I hereby officially do that, right now. You can write a story where a Prancer-enhanced humanity is the bad guy. Make it cool, make it explodey, make it violent and exciting, throw in some gun battles and fistfights and knife fights and magic fights and mecha battles and space battles, make it the non-stop thrill ride this fic just isn't trying to be. And when you're done, show it to me, so we can hi-five each other and read it and have a good time.

This is a good story but, waaayyyy to many people dislike's this, this this is good

I for one would welcome being infected by the Prancer virus, and having it's benefits.^_^

Is there a group for stories set in this here 'verse?

We need a 'Prancerverse' group.

Oh yeah, we really need one now.^_^

The one part I really, really, really didn't like was killing off the multi-dimensional Entity without finding out what It wanted.

It could have been friendly.

She should have ascertained It's motives before killing It.

The fuck did I just read?

This story is a JoJo Reference

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That's a good point. First thing that came to my mind was Shub-Niggurath, though.



Author the story!

If you're reading this, can you clear up whether the multi dimensional Entity was good or evil? I'd like to know if Prancer was right. Or if she made a mistake.

I am for Humanity. I hope Planser doesn't succeed. The one who created a virus from himself must prove that everything is not as it is.
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Worst Fanfic ever made, and I have seen many bad fanfics

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