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Chapter 1: Something in the Night Sky3,406 words
Chapter 2: H-00-V-ER2,043 words
Chapter 3: Decisions, Decisions...4,417 words
Chapter 4: The Clean Choice1,604 words

Chapter 3: Decisions, Decisions...

Chapter 3: Decisions, Decisions...

The process took over an hour. Mostly filling in forms, Twilight was given the privilege to use Three Point One’s keyboard. The poor mare tried and tried to ask questions about his interface, how he worked, so on and such, but the computer refused to answer anything until the forms were completed.

Most questions were easily answered by the book worm alicorn, although a few oddly specific things about the planet and its history had to be answered by both Celestia and Luna. Cadence had decided to remain silent, listening, and interjecting once in a while with a comment that made the assembled ponies laugh.

WELL, THAT SHOULD BE

EVERYTHING. NOW, YOU

HAD SOME QUESTIONS FOR

ME, SNARKLE?

“Urg!” Twilight groaned. “For the last time, that was a typo! I was still getting familiar with your input keys.”

VERY WELL. H-00-V-ER, WHY

DON’T YOU TAKE THE OTHER

THREE TO BEGIN THEIR

SELECTION PROCESS?

ME AND SNPARKLE SHALL

PLAY 20 QUESTIONS.

“Very well. Come this way!” Hoover began rolling out.

“Please, don’t take too long, Twilight. We don’t want to be separated for longer than need be,” Cadence said, nuzzling her sister in law.

“I promise.”

WORST CASE, I WILL

SIMPLY PRINT OUT ALL

THE INFORMATION I

CAN GIVE HER.

“Careful with that kind of promise, Three Point One, Twilight here is our resident egg head and book work extraordinaire,” Cadence said with a giggle, causing Twilight to pout.

JOY.

With that, Cadence was the last to follow Hoover out of the room, the door closing behind them.

“Will she be alright?” Celestia asked the vacuum, walking alongside it.

“Oh, yes, of course. If anything, I’m actually a bit more worried about Three Point One. He’s patient, but only so. Although, I’m sure he’ll want to know more about your magic and abilities.”

“Well, Twilight is the right pony for the job then,” Celestia said with a smile.

“Pray tell, Hoover, now that we have been registered, what all does that entail?” Luna asked.

“Oh, nothing much. Mostly it’s for our own records, and where we’ve left some of our own. Rest assured, we do not release any other information to other worlds, and in the case of a breach and unwanted boarding, we’re set to self destruct and destroy all information we have.”

“That’s… reassuring.”

“Actually, as one of the few A.I’s to have any semblance of feeling anything, it quite terrifies me since we’ve had a couple close calls in the past.”

“Are you saying most of you cannot feel anything?” Celestia asked.

“In a physical sense or emotional sense? Because we have sensors so we don’t just blunder into the wall or anything, but emotions? That sort of stuff, no. We’re artificial for a reason. I only say I am terrified because I’ve been programmed with the knowledge of why something would be terrified, what examples of being terrified would be, and the outcome of what could happen if you were or were not in particular situations.

“So I know what being terrified is, enough to say I would be, even though I can’t feel it.”

“You machines are a complex bunch,” Luna added.

“Very. Wait until you meet some of the others.”

“Are they worse? Or better?” Cadence decided to finally join the conversation.

“Little bit of both, depending on their A.I. chips. Most of us are okay, but a few of us are… unhinged.”

“Unstable?” Luna asked.

“I was trying to avoid the pun around you, but sure.”

“What about Three Point One back there? He seems rather advanced and intelligent, if not a bit standoffish with his snark.”

“Hah! Actually, he’s quite dated when it comes to us A.I. chipped machines. He’s designed for simple tasks, and he’s been shoved into a primitive computer of our master’s technological boom. He’s also only snarky like that because he watches too many cartoons from the database.”

“Cartoons?” Luna asks.

“Right, forgot. Think of a newspaper comic strip, brought to life on a screen much like Three Point One’s.”

“Truly? Oh, what we would give to watch Marmaduke in action,” Luna flapped her wings.

“Well, once you get your ambassador, I’d think in the next few decades you might have some early mass media machines coming to fruition.”

“Huzzah!” Luna shouted.

Following Hoover, the three alicorns walked into a small elevator, which in a blink of an eye moved them down several floors. The doors open again, and what greets them pitch black.

“Um, is… there anything there?” Cadence asked.

“Yes, I just need to switch back on the power banks. One moment.” Hoover rolled over to a panel, pressed a few buttons with his plug, then threw a large red switch.

All three ponies watched in awe as large banks of lighting, high up at least ten stories, began coming to life, illuminating the massive room.

“By Starswirl’s beard, this is as big as an airship’s berth!” Luna gasped, stepping forward.

“Well, we have well over ten thousand different items here, with enough variety to hopefully sate any sort of sapient beings curiosity. Now, obviously, if we were to go through every single thing here, we’d be here for a few years. So, I’ve got a way to narrow it down.

“Would you want something to help better yourself, or your peoples?”

“Peoples.”

“Our Ponies.”

“Myself.”

Celestia and Luna blinked, looking to Cadence in shock. The younger alicorn looked confused.

“What? It was an honest answer. I’ve done a lot for the Crystal Empire, I’d like something for it.”

“Tis fair,” Luna nodded.

Celestia agreed. “Yes, but with this opportunity, I’d say we go with our little ponies.”

Cadence smiled, nodding. “Yeah, I agree. Still, it was an honest answer.”

Suddenly, Cadence found herself sandwiched between both of her aunts, accepting their wings upon her back and the nuzzles they shared.

“Rest assured, Niece, though we are retired, we are still there to aid you and young Sparkle should either of you need it. We are but a spell or scroll away,” Luna said.

“What Luna said,” Celestia agreed.

“Thanks, both of you,” Cadence nuzzled them back.

“That is probably very adorable, but uh… while we’re not on a timeframe, I’m in no mood to have another race’s leader spend so much time here that they died of old age, then we had to have their first heir come and pick their ambassador.”

Celesita was the first to pull away. “Apologies, it’s very easy for us to get lost in the moment when it is just us alicorns.”

“Right. Okay, so you want something to better your peoples. Very well, follow me!”

So they did.

Along either side of them, on each wall were dozens upon dozens of doors, from floor to ceiling. All the same size, and above each one was either a green, amber, or red light. Most had green, with a few amber ones scattered about. However, as they neared one of the doors with red on the ground level, it suddenly opened up.

All three ponies jumped back upon the loud roar that came from the room, however Hoover simply said sigh.

“Forgive me, but Tucker here has overly sensitive audio sensors. Probably heard us when we first turned on the power.”

Inside the room was a large, massive maroon colored beast.

“Ponies, say hello to Tucker. Chassis number one-zero-four-two, a rarity from his time, and went through a lot before the vehicle was ever restored enough for display. He is what’s called an automobile, and they were very common from the early twentieth century well into the end of humanity, although their fuel source and luxury changed with each passing century. Tucker here is one of the early ones, where safety was forgone for speed, looks, and mass. Now, however, he only wishes to kill. We don’t really know what happened or why, but sometimes our chips simply… go bad.”

Hoover began moving, however as the three sisters began to follow, they noticed several small dents around the front chrome of this automobile. Luna couldn’t help but be drawn into the center glass light, glowing a steady, pulsing red, as it turned and followed her movement until she was out of sight.

A cold shiver ran down her spine. “Hoover, pray tell, but… if such a massive machine of steel and death can go rampant, what about you? Or whatever we decide to pick?”

“That’s what the amber lights are for. Those are of us who aren’t really bad, but have shown potential for something wrong in their coding. You must realize, all of us are based on a human’s mind, and while we’re far smarter than they were, connected to the database and can pick and choose what or how we act… some of that person can still linger within our data streams.”

“And yourself?” Celestia asked.

Hoover stopped, the ponies standing side by side as they waited for his reaction.

“Most of those files were expunged before our launch, so we don’t really know the who for ourselves, but we can… sense their mind from time to time. We may be machine and digital code, but the human mind, or any sapient mind really, all rely on neurons and electricity to function, think, and simply be.”

Hoover turned around, facing the ponies.

“I think… he was a speaker. Encouraging, pushing and fighting for the betterment and progress of humanity. Probably why they assigned me for first contact and relations, and maybe why your question from earlier threw me off for a moment. If I think about it too much, their loss...”

Stepping forward, Celestia dipped her head down low so she was facing the vacuum cleaner, face to rubber bumper guard.

“Hoover, you now know where we are, and I hope you’ve deemed us a peaceful world. Enough so, that if you or your shipmates ever find a problem, you’re welcome to return to us for help.”

The vacuum cleaner sat still, the only sign of “life” being the steady, dim strobe of the appliance’s headlight.

“Thank you… Celestia,” Hoover finally said, then turned about face, and rolled on.

“Now, chop chop, I’d like to get to section nine, and with any luck Sparkle will be joining us by then.

----------

True enough, as they rounded a bend, Twilight Sparkle was already waiting for them at the entrance of another bay in the large storage room.

“I trust all went well?” Celestia asked.

Twilight Sparkle hesitated a moment, then slowly nodded. “It… was interesting. Three Point One asked me something that… I’m not sure about yet.”

“Oh?” Cadence asked with a smirk.

“He wants me to donate a part of my brain.”

The other three ponies froze, the grin on Cadence’s muzzle instantly disappearing.

“What?” Luna voiced.

Hoover rolled between them. “Really? That’s quite remarkable. Three Point One must have registered something unique about you to ask for such a thing. We’ve only done it twice between the six previously discovered lifeforms.”

“And what did they say?” Luna asked, frowning.

“One said yes, the other said no.”

“And what became of the yay sayer?” Luna continued.

“Nothing, honestly. We surgically removed a graft of their brain, no larger than a postage stamp, and sent them on their way. The last correspondence we got, before their death, was that all was well.”

“So they died?” Celestia asked.

“Their world was in a civil war, with a life expectancy of twenty to forty years. They were desperate, and sought our advice.”

“And what was that advice?”

“To suck it up and stop fighting.”

Celestia hummed. “Were it that easy at times.”

“Aye,” Luna agreed, “maybe then We could have stopped much blood shed upon our fair lands.”

“Humanity found peace after countless centuries of world wars, but by that time it was too late.”

“And tell me, Hoover,” Celestia began, “once we receive our ambassador, will we be privy to your Master’s history?”

“But of course.”

Celestia hesitated, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“You… don’t want that, do you?” Hoover turned around.

“I admit I’m… hesitant, because while experiencing new arts and technologies that can, and undoubtedly would, further progress my little ponies… I fear that it would also show us glimpses of horrors best left to the past, be it our own, or your Master’s.”

“I don’t think that’s quite fair, Celestia.”

Three alicorns and a vacuum cleaner turned to Twilight Sparkle.

“Remember, it’s important not to forget the past, but learn from it. Maybe we’ll see some… bad things from their past, but wouldn’t it be a learning experience for us, where to not tread? What not to do?

“Not only that, but Hoover said it himself, that they’re the last of the remnants of an entire world. They’re traveling to keep their lineage alive, and who would we be to allow such a thing to happen? For them to be forgotten, drifting about in space, possibly hopeless.”

Celestia closed her eyes.

“Wise words, Sparkle,” Luna nodded.

Cadence nuzzled up to her sister in law. “We still worry, but I think… you’re right.”

“Hmmm. Now I’m starting to see what Three Point One would have seen in you. In fact, I’d like to use this moment to bring you to one of the first several applicants I can think of right away for you.”

Hoover rolled forward to a door, a green light above it, and it opened.

Celestia and Luna walked forward, giving Twilight a nuzzle, before joining Hoover. Cadence wrapped a wing around the smallest alicorn, and helped push her along to follow their elders.

There was an ordinary table inside the room, where a small rectangle sat.

“Say hello to the Samsung Galaxy Note Five,” Hoover announced.

“Or you can just call me Sammy,” the item said back in a femanine voice.

“What… are you?” Luna stepped forward, looking down at the table’s surface.

Hoover rolled forward. “A cellular device. Cellphone for short, it is also a small mini computer much like Three Point One, only obviously much smaller and a couple decades further along, give or take a few years. With this device, you’d have technological booms world wide. Communications, wireless interfaces, networks, you name it.

“I can also play games and show movies, pictures, music. I’m basically like a mini god.”

Luna huffed a laugh. “Really, mine sister and I have been compared to gods many times. You dare try to tell me this small thing is capable of so much, in so little?”

“Alright, listen here you little-”

“Woah woah now, easy Sammy, easy. Forgive her, but she can’t move on her own, so it’s caused some… commitment issues.”

Luna leaned her face down towards the table, inspecting it. “Hrm, still, such a small inferior device, we doubt it could-”

Suddenly a small, thin strip of plastic was launched from the lower case, smacking Luna directly on the nose.

Luna reared back with a brae.

“Hidden stylus attack!”

“Sammy! That’s no way to treat a guest!”

“Tell her that, she was scrutinizing me.”

“Why, you miserable little, vile device of the damned, I shall-”

Celestia placed a wing on Luna’s back, calming her sister. “Perhaps… something else?”

“I agree. Sammy, apologize so that we may proceed.”

“Fiiiiiine. Sorry for whatever, I guess.”

“Samsung…”

The female voice scoffed. “Okay, gosh. Sorry for launching my stylus at your face.”

Celestia nudged her sister. “Luna?”

Sighing, Luna stood straighter. “And Our apologies for calling you… small and inferior.”

“Very good, let us move on then.”

Stepping away, Luna couldn’t help but look back, just in time for a yellow circle resembling a face appearing on the glass screen, tongue sticking out.

Luna returned her own raspberry, then disappeared around the corner.

----------

“Now, do you know the mechanics behind internal combustion?”

Twilight Sparkle hesitated, tapping her chin. “I remember reading reports about it, but it’s usually not worth the effort, or the effects it leaves upon our economy. We’ve chosen to stick with steam, for the most part, for any non-pony propulsion machines.”

“Alright, so that knocks out several candidates. I also suspect you are equine like, you have no need for a lawnmower.”

“Lawnmower?” Twilight asked.

“A machine built to simply cut grass. Nothing more. We have two of them here, one drivable, the other self propelled but must be guided.”

“We hire mostly goats from the far east for such things. It benefits everycreature, so we see no need for such a thing,” Celestia said.

“Hmmm. Okay, what about music?”

“Everypony enjoys the melodies of music,” Luna said.

“Alright, let's go there next.”

Another few doors passed, then Hoover stopped before one of the many identical doors. There were no numbers anywhere, so how the vacuum cleaner knew where to go was a mystery on the ponies.

The door opened, and resting on the floor was a small, red table radio.

“Oh, that looks familiar,” Twilight said.

“It’s adorable!” Cadence walked closer, inspecting it.

Suddenly, the antenna shot upward, the tuner dial turned, and loud music began blaring out of the speaker.

Cadence jumped back in alarm, while the radio began jumping and bouncing around on it’s four small feet.

“While not our only radio, Old Loudmouth here is the most personable of the lot, and I figured he’d be in tune with your… cheery demeanor.”

The song ended, and the small radio bounded towards Cadence. “I’m also an AM radio alarm clock, which is completely obsolete but I don’t let that get me down!”

Its voice reminded the ponies of the many sports announcers that frequented the radio waves back on Equestria.

“And you’re not too bad looking yourself, dollface.”

Cadence blushed, while Luna smacked her face with her wing.

"His music library is the most complete, along with famous announcements, dramas, and other programs that were saved."

"I'm a borderline audiophile," the radio said, bouncing around Cadence.

"No, he is," Hoover said, "and that's the point."

"Please, Dollar, you'll make me blush," the radio’s voice changed to a female, like it was from a play.

“Well, his… or her? Their enthusiasm is quite contagious,” Cadence giggled.

“He’s got a personality, that’s for sure,” Hoover began to roll away. “However, we’ve got a few more items to look at, so if you would please?”

Luna and Twilight began walking out, while Celestia snickered at Cadence playing with the radio. “Come, Cadey, we must be off.”

“Oh, alright,” Cadence pouted, but before she could turn around, she felt the radio’s antenna grab her chin gently, forcing her to look back down at it.

“Now now… here’s looking at you, kid.”

Cadence smiled, then turned to follow the others. Celestia continued to stare at the small, funny radio another moment, then shaking her head followed her niece out.

By now, several doors were opening on their own, with all manner of appliances, machines, and technology emerging, conversing, or just sitting still. Some doors remained closed, mostly those with the amber or red lights above.

As the four ponies followed, many of the items were easily identifiable, however there were equally as many that she couldn’t. From small devices, to mobile machines with wheels, one even seemed to resemble a dog, if the dog was trapped in a large box with its head sticking out.

“For most everything here, the chance to get out and move around are several hundred years between sessions. Granted, we’re all supercomputers trapped inside of random junk so we don’t really need to get out, but we are still objects, and if we’re not put through our paces once in a while…”

“Things begin to break,” Celestia said.

“Yes.”

The next door Hoover stopped before was already open, and inside was something unfamiliar.

It was a large brown box with a glass like door taking up most of the front, save for two large dials on the right side, one clearly a timer, the other having multiple settings.

“Say hello to Eeore, a mid seventies General Electric microwave. Eeore, these are ponies of Equestria, looking for an ambassador.”

“Hello,” the microwave said with a dull, bored tone.

“Are you okay?” Twilight asked, approaching.

“Just peachy.”

“Don’t mind him,” Hoover began, “he’s just always like this.”

“That’s about it,” Eeore responded.

“Oh, well… um, what do you do, Eeore?”

“I cook.”

Twilight blinked.

“So, you’re an oven?”

“A microwave.”

Twilight’s ears began to lay flat. “So… what do you do to cook food?”

“I pummel whatever’s put inside me with microwaves until it’s hot enough to cook.”

Twilight backed up a step.

“Yeah, that’s usually the reaction. Siiiiigh. I’m used to it.”

Hoover rolled forward. “The microwave was one of the pinnacle inventions of the late twentieth century. Not just for cooking, but ease of warming and other manner of things. It’s technology was used many times to thwart electronic equipment like tracing devices and spy equipment. Sadly… too much of it and it can be bad for you, but rest assured, the food it would make was entirely harmless.”

“Somewhat.”

“Hush!”

“Um, okay, well thank you Eeore for your time. We’ll… keep in touch?”

“Okay.”

Twilight stepped out, joining the others.

“He sounded quite depressed,” Celestia noted.

“Sadly, that’s just how he is,” Hoover rolled on, to which the ponies followed.

The next door was closed, and Hoover went to stand before it.

“Oh, come on now, open up!”

There was what sounded like the ring of a bell from the other side.

“What do you mean? We don’t have time to play your games, open up!”

All four alicorns stood before Hoover, looking at the door questioningly. Then, slowly, the door began to open with dramatic, booming music playing. Billows of white smoke began pouring out of the room, and a bright, intense light shone outward, nearly blinding the ponies (save Celestia) as the door continued it’s slow opening.

“Showoff…” Hoover muttered, then rolled back.

As the smoke cleared, out rolled what was evidently a bicycle, although not designed for any equestrian. It also had all manner of accessories strewn about it, such as lamps, streamers, a lion’s head on the front, and two hard side pouches at the rear wheel.

“This is Big Red, a nineteen forty six Schwinn Western Flyer. Big Red houses data about most of the sports, exercises, and all manner of fitness practices to keep a living being happy and healthy.”

“Hello!” The bike said in a cringy tone, followed by two honking style laughs.

Immediately, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight all looked to Celestia, the eldest alicorn quickly realizing she'd fallen to everypony’s attention.

“What?” Celestia asked.

“Perhaps this is a good choice, mayhaps it would assist mine sister in losing a few of those stray pounds upon her flanks,” Luna said with a grin.

“Are you calling me fat!?” Celestia spat.

“Well defined would be nicer,” Cadence added.

“Oh dear…” Hoover muttered, backing away from the open door.

Celestia and Luna were muzzle to muzzle, glaring at one another, when from below them a skinny rubber tire rolled up, separating the two.

“Now now, there’s no need to fight!” Big Red began, ringing his bell. “There’s more productive things to do than argue and bicker.”

Suddenly, Celestia felt herself being moved upward, and now sitting on the uncomfortably small (to a horse, it was otherwise a large) seat of the bicycle, which then began pedalling off with a shrieking Celesita along for the ride.

“Come on now, put those rear hooves on the pedals, we can burn off some of those calories in a jiffy!”

“Lunaaaaaa, Cadeeeeeey, Twiiiiiliiiiiight, heeeeeeeelp!” Celestia was gone after several moments.

Slowly, the three remaining alicorns couldn’t hold back their laughter, letting out loud guffaws and whinneys, Luna going so far as to roll on the floor.

“Sigh,” Hoover said, taking the lunar alicorn’s tail in his cord and began pulling her away, with still giggling Cadence and Twilight close behind.

----------

The next door was several large bays away, a massive 21 above the archway. “Now we’re entering the larger scale stuff, however there’s one just before we enter the large hanger I’d like you to meet.”

Big Red had finally dropped off Celestia, who was panting and covered in a lather of sweat, as the bike had taken her around several laps before letting her go. Interestingly enough, Twilight was the first to notice Old Loudmouth following behind, with Sammy the cell phone resting on top.

They stopped at another one of those ordinary doors, however something was different.

“There’s an amber light above this one?” Twilight asked, which drew in the other pony’s curious looks.

“Yes, but I felt like this one would be… beneficial.”

This time, instead of the door simply opening, Hoover had to stand directly in front of the door, while a blue light illuminated the space in which the vacuum occupied, then with a click and a beep, the door opened.

The four alicorns looked on with curiosity, and while the shape was different, having a tall back part, a foldable seat, and several switches and buttons, it was impossible to mistake this thing for what it was.

“A toilet? Really?”

Twilight’s outburst caused the other ponies, radio, and cell phone to chuckle.

Then, a loud, booming voice came from the room.

“I am a monument to all your sins.”

“Oh hush, drama queen,” Hoover moved to the side. “This is the O.T., otherwise known as the Outside Toilet. We just call him Chief.

“Step forth, beings, and be judged.”

With a roll of her eyes, Luna was the first to approach. Suddenly, a small camera-like object came from the side, and again a blue light much like earlier surrounded Luna.

“Hrm. Impressive, while you do not show it, your body and mind are that of an ancient being. Organic, with strange thaumic energies surrounding you. You’ve also been touched by a tainted source, and are still fighting it off.”

Luna gasped.

“You… are worthy.”

Suddenly, the door closed down, trapping Luna inside.

“Luna!”

“Sister!”

“Auntie!”

The three alicorns rushed forward, but Hoover stopped them.

“Relax, there’s actually a perfectly good reason for this. You’ve all been here for hours, so I figured you’re organs needed… release.”

Twilight blinked. “Wait, you mean…”

There was then the sound of a flush, and a few seconds later, the door opened to a starry eyed Luna, a silly grin on her face.

“Oh… how wonderful that twas.”

“The next shall approach, and face judgement!”