• Member Since 25th Oct, 2011
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice." ~ Dr. Sidney Freedman, M*A*S*H S3 Ep5


After 989 years on the moon, Nightmare Moon is eagerly awaiting her return to Equestria, take down her sister, and claim what should rightfully be hers.

However, one can only brood and plan for so long before things grow... stagnant.

And then, something catches her eye, coming towards her moon's surface at an alarming speed. Maybe this, whatever it is, will prove to aid her in her plans.

[Sex] tag for implications, nothing explicit (obviously it's rated T guys yeesh).


Story was written for Jinglemas 2021 as a gift for PeerImagination. They wanted a Nightmare Moon and Human romance, and I hope I did good by ya! Apologies for the story length, but it got waaaay out of hand on me and I have a disease where if I'm writing something I'm liking then I tend to do more than I should.


Cover art by Aquaticvibes, used without permission so if there are any issues feel free to yell at me.

Pre-read and edited by the wonderful Pascoite who helped a ton with the olden speech, and Fregz for putting up with the initial storyboarding that went out of control.

Top of the Box of Shame (M on) 12/26/2021, 12/27/2021 (Oh no not this shit again), 12/28/2021 (The third day), 12/29/2021 (YOU'RE KILLING ME, SMALLS!)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 56 )

The eagle has landed.

I'll be doing a blog post write up for this fic at some point, so this comment will be the place holder until that time.

EDIT: Obligitory blog post, here we gooooooo.

We're Whalers on the moon we carry harpoons but there ain't no whales so we tell tall tails so we sing Our Whalen tune

That story picture. Good ol Moonbase.

Tendrá continuación como serie o acabará aquí meguntaria que continuará y muy buena historia

ehhhh... fue entretenido pero no puedo decir que me gusto o no... pero el final si fue divertido ahahahahah

That was absolutely incredible. Length be damned, it far surpassed my expectations. Excellent job, Rob! I look forward to the sequel!

(Snerk!) I'd like to think I'm a corrupting influence :pinkiehappy:

What if I don't go around tonight?

This was a wonderful story, I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Princess Celestia appeared on the moon’s surface, instantly bringing her magic up to keep her alive.

Something was amiss. The Summer Sun Celebration had gone off without a hitch. She knew her sister could feel the barrier keeping her here disappear. And yet she never showed.

The Elements of Harmony were never awoken, and while her pupil still made her friends, they didn’t reach their destinies’ full potential.

Hah, kriffing up destiny by never showing up, amazing.

Love this story 💖

Not like Discord was going to come back or anything.

Are you sure about that 🤨

I fucking love how I know what the cover image is referencing, and comparing it to the story itself, it is a hilarious juxtaposition. :rainbowlaugh:

Very nice.
Very nice.

interesting story, but there's some missed potential here
wonder if this idea'll get more exploration

Not like Discord was going to come back or anything.


I really wanna see the story continue that was funny

This was a very fun and enjoyable story. I liked it a lot. It takes a real special story to bring a smile to my face after reading it and this is one of the rare lucky few. And I dont smile on a daily basis either!

“Three minutes?”

“That’s roughly the delay time between the moon and Earth.”

Round trip its about 3 seconds, not minutes.

hrmm I thought it was gonna be like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv6RbEOlqRo
The picture is a reference to that.
If you look at the pic he is saying aeiou and uuuuuuuuhh.

Really, no one has posted this yet? I guess I'll have to...

Good lord, that ending. Its a bit abrupt, but that only makes it funnier.

Wow, this takes me back.

It's a timeless classic, that's for sure

This reminds me of this. This is beautiful.

Congratulations Tim, you officially entered the Captain James T. Kirk's official Xenosex Club!

It's been a while since I have seen a masterpiece like this... Have a fave

Yeah, three minutes would be odd; that's almost enough to get a message to then from Venus at its closest point.

how in Tartarus had he brought the evil out of her without magic!?

Why, Celestia, didn't you know that 'Friendship is Magic'?

It was funny and amazing This needs to be a multi chapter. I want to see more of nightmare Moon and Tom's life together.

Mixed feelings on this. At times I was sufficiently swept up in the story that I forgot I was a human sitting at a keyboard. Other times, I was frowning at how awkward it is in some places. I think you explained it well in your blog post: this story needed to be longer. The second half is terribly rushed at times, and it fails to be a proper match for the first half. And the ending, while I'm both unsurprised and unbothered by the sexual exchange, comes across as a joke ending like something I might expect from Bendy. It doesn't at all match the serious and somber tones of the rest of the story.

It's not a bad a story. But it could have been a great story, if you'd hadn't been rushed or felt the need to trim.

Honestly, I was sort of hoping for the meme-y video of AEIOU and JOHN MADDEN to be in this fic, but I also like slow burns and reconciliation and redemption through love. Nice.

She had… so many questions. What this being was, when he got here, how in Tartarus had he brought the evil out of her without magic!? More so, he would be her brother in law? Her mouth opened and closed several times, trying to ask something, only to be interrupted when one of them would moan, groan, or squeak.

By rolling a nat 20 to bang the evil out of her (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

When you try to reform the villain by fucking them

I loved it, nuff said.

This is when a damn good story to read, light-hearted, with some sad moments, funny moments, cute moments, and just sweet ending to it all, be cool if there was a sequel story. Awesome read, worth reading again!

This was good. Really good. I've always enjoyed the notion of defeating Nightmare Moon not through traditional means but by actually befriending her, getting her to change of her own volition. It's a shame you had to cut out some of your ideas to meet the constraints; if what made it to paper was this good, I can only imagine what was left on the cutting room floor.

So the Nightmare has returned but she's happy, the Elements are not yet active, and destiny as a whole has been tossed to the wayside for the moment. You've set up a very intriguing timeline. I certainly hope you decide to explore it a little more; I can easily say I'd drop everything to read more about it.

“Three minutes?”

“That’s roughly the delay time between the moon and Earth.”

Three minutes is the time it takes light to travel from Mars to Earth, from Earth to the Moon it takes less than 2 seconds.

Not like Discord was going to come back or anything.

well... shit...

That was superb. And now you got me on another CCR kick dang it.

No, more like Venus at its closest approach.
Mars is anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes.

Pretty sure it wasn't meant to be a literal time delay, radio signals take time and definitely don't go at the speed of light

Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Thank you for giving me a little bit of a laugh there at the conclusion.

Another chapter would be nice but if this is just a one-shot story I truly enjoyed it.

Radio signals absolutely go at the speed of light (radio waves basically are light, just at a much longer wavelength and thus not visible to the naked eye), so based purely on that lag between Earth and the Moon should have been a matter of a little over a second going one-way. That said...the people on the other end of the line also need time to formulate a response even under the most routine of circumstances, and with mission control having lost contact months ago at that point and probably written off the crew for dead, some extra delay when one of the ‘departed’ unexpectedly piped up after all this time without anyone on the ground likely even thinking of listening for him anymore should probably come as no surprise at all.

Not like Discord was going to come back or anything.

Oh Celestia, you just had to say that, do you?

Agree, this would be an interesting timeline to explore.

This is pretty great

Fantastic story! I loved reading every second of it. Hopefully this isn't a one-shot, and we can see more of Timothy and NMM/Luna at some point. Their characters work too well together. A sequel is demanded — nay, required!

It is the time delay, for radio. To Mars, that is. The moon is 1.3 seconds. Radio waves and light are both electromagnetic waves, and move at c in vacuum.

Edit: Apparently, I completely missed that you already mentioned that it was the delay for Mars. Somehow.

So basically she botched the moon landing resulting in Neil Armstrong and the other astronaut dying

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