• Member Since 30th Jul, 2019
  • offline last seen 43 minutes ago


I'm just here to have a good time and write


Flurry Heart wants to know what happened to the Crystal Empire's previous rulers. Cadance answers with as little detail as possible, and unintentionally teaches her daughter about a tradition she wasn't aware of.

Entry for the Cadance is a Terrible Mom contest, and 1st place winner! Admittedly an idea I've had in my head for a while, thanks for the excuse to write it!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 46 )

This is amazing

Author's Note:

This probably doesn't exactly follow the theme but the idea was there so here it is.

I don't see how this fails to follow the theme!

Also, I was laughing pretty hard at about the time of the 'looks like mushroom stroganoff'. :twilightsmile:

Just wasn't sure if Cadance was being 'awful' enough but I suppose the lack of communication can count.

She's trying her best.

Mistakes were made. Every parent makes mistakes. Whether any deaths result is always at least a teensy bit a matter of luck. Even if you give your child NO freedom to make mistakes, that just means they might make a worse mistake when they're older and you're no longer there to watch them

Kids do say the darnedest things, don't they? XD

Very well done my good man.

Your icon & comment combo made me laugh more than I did writing the story. Probably because I actually didn't .

Children...so innocent, but so evil...

Flurry isn't a princess yet but she sure is already thinking like one.

Gotta start 'em young.

Sombra did not actually kill Princess Amore, so Cadance definitely brought this on herself by having her daughter believe a lie. So yup, this fits the terrible mother theme. :ajsmug:

Regardless, this was pretty funny, especially since I've always, ALWAYS been amused by the idea of an evil Flurry Heart.


Your icon & comment combo made me laugh more than I did writing the story. Probably because I actually didn't .

Wait, I'm confused...you didn't write this story?

Well-done. Awesome. Thank you !! :rainbowlaugh:

This may be the first Flurry Heart story i've ever read that I actually liked. :trollestia:

Kids do the darndest things.

Sombra did nothing wrong. Cadance just has to get her facts straight, this may have never happened if she had!

Oh no, I did! I absolutely wrote this, I was just saying I didn't actually laugh writing it probably because the idea's less funny to the person who spends hours writing and looking at it.

neat, kind of thought it go in a direction that regicide had something of a history in the empire from a thousand plus years ago, like princess amore killed her predecessor or something, but still this was hilarious

Now that you've mentioned it, I've decided that is now how the Crystal Empire works. Unfortunately Amore's crimes, and the ones before her, were not recorded.

Wait, is Whammy a reference to 'Flurry in Time'? Or is it reference to something else? Or just a coincidence?

:trollestia: "They grow up so fast!"

Whammy is the name of her stuffed snail toy in the show, shown in the Episode 'A Flurry of Emotions'. Her mentioned pet snail is named after the toy, not in a sense of being Whammy #2, but in a way where Flurry would see a snail and say 'That's Whammy too!'.

I know you didn't question the last bit, but thought it worth mentioning since I'm a bit worried it looks like a spelling error when it's not.

Sombra: I knew I left an impression on her!

Ah, thanks. I didn't remember this little detail from the show and thought this whole time that Whammy is unique for another fic.

Also... Nice, pleasant, funny fic. Let's hope Twilight is ready for an unhealthy dose of Flurry's plans.

heh heh alrighty then

I got a feeling that Flurry Heart would be really good at Crusader Kings. :rainbowwild:

Well, I can see where the Sparkle in Flurry's family tree showed up, because that is DEFINITELY a Sparkle Moment.

I'm dying of laughter over here

Ah, I see. Well don't worry, it was really funny, esp when you consider Flurry also tried to off her Mom with the tea.

Flurry Heart, Graduate of the School of "Seeing Things Through."


Rome intensifies


AND Cadence didn't kill Sombra. At least, she didn't the time it stuck. But yes, she did kill him the time it let her rule unopposed.

As the chapter title says, lack of communication kills.

Oh lord, the mind of a seven-year-old... :rainbowlaugh:

I super enjoyed this, good job.

Cadance didn't kill Sombra, the Crystal Heart did

Part 2 plz I'm begging you😂v

Wouldn't that imply that no one who fired a gun has ever killed anyone by doing so?


I mean if you want to get technical, Cadance (and the whole Empire) were basically the trigger that made the Crystal Heart go off, as well as Spike being there and falling to his near-death, getting all the credit later. You could blame all of that, but to a seven year old it's easier to just say 'mommy did it' and not put the blame on a sparkly rock and a beloved uncle. Though that may lead to the question of why here's a giant statue of Spike in the Empire...

But yeah, the gun allegory works because the Heart needs a trigger, in this case being the Crystal Ponies love, to work.

There's currently no sequel planned for this story, and most likely won't be one.

This is the best possible idea that you could have gotten from this contest. I figured out what the miscommunication was going to be as Flurry’s reactions played out over the course of Cadance talking to her about the Empire’s history. Yet, that didn’t steal any of the fact that this story was a riot and the ending was priceless. The only thing that kept me from laughing as loud as I wanted at this wholesome dark comedy was that I’ve been recovering from strep throat and that it would be physically painful. It’s no surprise that you won with this story, and I’m honestly disappointed that I started with this one first instead of building up to reading the winner. The others might let me down.

I'm not really surprised it's pretty predictable, all it really needed to accomplish was being silly and it sure did that! Also good to know I didn't accidentally cause you pain, but if I had I might have considered it a small accomplishment in this case, that I would've then apologized for.

I’m honestly disappointed that I started with this one first instead of building up to reading the winner. The others might let me down.

On the plus side, this means you won't hurt yourself laughing, right? Absolutely no offense to the other writers of course, what I read of those was fun too.

Thank you!

You should write more wholesome murder stories.

I'm only now realizing I'm really at two for that sort of thing, aren't I?

Let's bring those numbers up then, shall we? :raritywink:

The cord snapped. Flurry yelled in what could only be described as victory. Shining hopped away, able to save his dinner, but not his shocked wife before she was crushed beneath the weight of the chandelier.

Cadance: "Good to see you have your priorities sorted out..."
Shining: "...I'll be sleeping on the couch, am I?"

“I did it!”
Shining blinked in shock, “Did what, exactly?”
I killed mama! I’m princess now!

:twilightsheepish:: "That's not how becoming a princess works. I mean, I became a princess without harming Celestia."
Flurry: "That means Celestia is still alive, and can still be killed?"
:twilightoops:: "Yes, she- wait, why are you looking like that?"
:trollestia:: *chuckles* "I'm in danger..."

“Hey, don’t be mean to daddy!” Flurry shouted, pointing a hoof at her mother, “Princess’ orders!”

That somehow felt cute.

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

Login or register to comment