• Member Since 30th Jul, 2019
  • offline last seen Monday

MayhemMoth


I'm just here to have a good time and write

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Days before Hearth's Warming, Applejack discovers that the most important tree in the orchard has been struck by mistletoe. Just another problem to add to this holiday, really. She's already been more ornery than usual this Hearth's Warming, so what's one more problem to add to the list?

Twilight's not sure why she's so upset, but she'd like to help her not be.


This was written for mokaevans as a part of Jinglemas 2020! For more information about Jinglemas, checkout our group!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

That was amazing! Deep, emotional, with wording that conjured up vibrant imagery in my mind. It's a beautiful character study into Applejack's psyche, and that transition from Applejack's point of view to Twilight's was seamless. It's tender and sweet and envelops the whole reason I ship these two. Especially in the earlier seasons Applejack was a source of support for Twilight, heck even in season 8 there's that moment she calms Twilight down during the hearth's warming special. In return Twilight helps Applejack get out of her own head. I don't know about other people but I enjoy existentialism. You made it all just shippy enough.
Good TwiJack stories are more of a rarity. So thank you for this.

10597126
Ah, I'm really glad to hear that! This is probably the first time I've written a story for a pairing I don't ship, but I can say it was surprisingly fun! A few frustrating moments here and there, as all writing has, but it worked out in the end.

Glad you enjoyed the existentialism too, I was worried that might have been a bit much, but it kinda just happened. Very happy that you enjoyed the whole thing as well!

This is a beautiful story.

The idea is perfect for a Hearth's Warming fic, I am surprised nobody has thought it up before. And the execution is excellent. Very beautiful descriptions, lacing just enough in-between the actions so as not to slow down the pace too much. I especially like the descriptions of the sun and moon light over the orchard, and the way you use the expression "followed in her hoofsteps" in a literal way. The switch between AJ and Twilight's perspectives feels very natural as if it wasn't there. The teasing ship is great, although I think it would be more natural if you imply some more hidden feeling between them during the course of the story, like a little awkwardness here and there, a fluttering heart when they hug each other, etc. They still read a little bit too platonic friends toward the end. The existential bit I think is pretty fitting, not forced at all. The only flaw I can see is that the reason for AJ's sentiment is a little cliche, and kind of beating the dead horse as it was already mentioned at the middle of the fic. I know it has some personal meaning to you, and to be fair, the way it was implemented in the story does not feel clunky at all. But I myself was actually looking forward to something more optimistic and philosophical when they started talking about "looking forward to changes, as it can be for the better" because I love that philosophy (sorry, I have always been a philosophical nerd).

10597126 I have to echo a lot of what was said here. AJ is a beautifully stubborn character and all her fears here are so valid. Honestly? They fit the season too, and this year especially. In the end, the heartwarming conclusion the characters come to doesn't feel forced. TwiJack is a lovely ship, and I fuckin' lost it when I saw these two in the new stories box. It's grown even rarer in recent years, which is downright criminal.

Oh, and to the recipient of the gift: check out Bookplayer's stuff if you haven't. Her TwiJack stories are amazing, and there's a lot of their spirit in here, even though I don't know if Moth has read her stuff. The Homesteading is a great place to start, especially considering the season.

10597498
All very valid criticisms. I did mention in the author's notes that I'm not very good at quick romance, and this pairing is still foreign enough to me that I wasn't exactly sure how to go about any romantic interactions. You make some good points though, a few added bits here and there probably would have helped.

But I myself was actually looking forward to something more optimistic and philosophical when they started talking about "looking forward to changes, as it can be for the better" because I love that philosophy

Unfortunately the ending did come out a bit rushed because of the looming deadline. I am also not very good at philosophy, unless it's horrifyingly existential. Or something like that.

Something to consider if I write something like this again though, thank you for reading! Happy you enjoyed it at least.

10597594
I may have based a certain one of Applejack's fears on my own, but I suppose that's not entirely surprising considering what you brought up. Christmas has never been the best time of year for me anyway, so that looming fear managed to make an impact on the story, because emotions are finicky like that.

Perhaps I can write some better, more developed Twijack another time. Only three weeks to make this kind of limited ideas, so it could be fun to try again with more time put into it, but who knows if I will. I certainly don't.

10597784
TwiJack is a based ship, so give it another go if ya want.

10597784
Oh I absolutely love it. Don't get me wrong, the story is amazing, especially given the short time you had to write it. My "criticism" mostly is just my personal feeling and all, as I am a sucker for philosophy and optimism as you already know. Someone else may actually like it just like this, more straightforward and relatable and less philosophical talk. Like Ice Star said, it actually fits with this year theme, although it's quite dreadful when you think about it that way.

10597968
I'm a perpetual worrier who always expects the worst, it sucks but can't really be helped at the worst of times, the fact this year has been the way it is doesn't help either.

But you're still fine, you did make a good point with adding a few more hints of them having potential feelings. That is something to keep in mind for future short stories.

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