• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
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Forget not that I am a derp.


In theory, the Festival of Friendship will be Twilight’s official appearance on the world stage. Yes, she’s participated in diplomatic talks, hosted diplomatic parties, and interfered with a nonzero number of less-than-diplomatic Gauntlets of Fire, but she’s never been the main attraction of the political circus until now.

The issue isn't being part of that circus. The issue is that nocreature's buying tickets. And at least one's trying to sneak in.

Set between the end of Season 7 and the movie. Much expanded from an entry in the August 2016 Writeoff Competition. Prompt: *Princess Not Included. Thanks to Krack-Fic Kai and hawthornbunny for their help in prereading.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

Not having seen the movie, this was still a nice one. Couple of little chuckles, leading up to a bigger laugh from the seemingly random resolution of the crisis. Which in turn became a nice little headcanon, emminently stealable at that.

Good job. :twilightsmile:

All you really need to know is that none of the established characters other than the other princesses and the Mane 6 are even mentioned despite the fact that they should have been for fairly self-evident reasons, the Guard was so incompetent that it forgot to exist, and the monster who crashes the Festival of Friendship can't reasonably be described as smoky.

Twilight grimaced. “Inviting Sunset means inviting her friends, whose local analogues are already attending. And her girlfriend. Who is me .”

Am I missing something here? I can see what Twilight means. Good luck explaining the Rainbooms being the doubles of the Mane 7 in a way that won't cause a panic. Among other things.

But unless I missed something. (very possible with me), that ship doesn't feel like it belongs here. Just added more words for the sake of it.

Love the story either way.

A sane person needs a reason not to do things they like, and no such reason is present here. I'm not going to go to the point of downvoting you, but this should be self-evident to anyone who understands that other people exist.

"We're clear, everypony! Pinkie, start the We're Not Dead party!"

So in Ponyville is that a biweekly, monthly, or whenever we have a Tirek level event?

Cause I could really easily see that at min a monthly considering Pinkie Pie and Ponyville needing to take the edge off with some special "cider" or its like. Though you do wonder how the children/foals unwind in those cases.

Ah, it's already posted.

“Yeah, but it’s not like some big, smoky, princess-hunting monster will actually crash the party.”

Bonus points for the double meaning of "Smokey"

This is more a line directed at the Oversaturated universe and the fact that Ponyville still has no clue about the human world. That and having doubles of the friends that will show up alongside the ones that are not would get mightily confusing when or if the others mount a surprise arrival or comments that they came but did not know of the situation they ad been in. While it would be nice to have them it would offer way more trouble down the line than it be worth.

I'm just going to say that Luna admonishing Draco was delightful. Utterly delightful. Twilight's so used to this whole thing that the monster siren doesn't even phase her anymore.

Though, the "smoky monster" thing got me thinking of a FiM version of Erebus.

I dont think so...

Glimglam just has to say she had a misfire on a simulo duplexis, and everypony goes, "Ohhh, that thing again..." and the citizens return to their usual lives...

"The count is three and two, with two outs, bases loaded. FOME is eyeing the pitcher; that last one painted the inside corner a little too close, but it caught just enough for a called strike..."

"FOME makes a couple of swings to check his timing, as the pitcher steps off the mound, rubbing up the ball, and looks at the pitching coach. I gotta think a few signs are getting shuffled here...."

"And the pitcher is back up, kicking some dirt away from in front of the rubber, as FOME sets up in the batter's box. FOME is a consistent hitter, and even though behind in this count, he's still dangerous. This thing is nowhere over yet..."

"FOME has steadied up, waiting for the offering, holding the bat high up, like Musial used to do. The pitcher shakes off two signs, then nods and kicks the glove up. He comes to the stop, gives first a glance; the runner has his lead, but just on the edge. No good for an easy out...."

"He stretches, and fires. Looks like his money pitch, the fastba..."


"Holy Smokes, folks! FOMR got all of that and more!!! It's lifting, lifting..."

"BACK...BACK...AND IT'S OUTTA HERE!!! GOODBYE, MR. SPAULDING!!! Second deck ringer; you could hear it bounce against the seats up there...!!!"

"There he is, folks!! You can hear the *ting* from his teeth with that massive grin!!"

"Fan Of Most Everything does it again, folks!!!!"

More star beasts, please. And more angry mama Luna to go with that. This was good.

Sunburst still has the crystal flu

A non-crystal pony has a crystal pony virus? I expect that to be either benign or fatal.

Twilight looked to the map room's newest tapestry, a tablecloth-sized circular labyrinth of fiendish complexity, each path less than an inch wide.

That'll keep the kids busy at the restaurant.

“Yeah, but it’s not like some big, smoky, princess-hunting monster will actually crash the party.”

"As the lord of chaos, I'd advise against saying things like that."

Did that end up being plan C, D, or I?

Draco might be in even more trouble depending on what time of day this takes place and whether Luna had to be woken up.

Twilight ultimately learned that although it was in her nature to spread friendship, festivals weren't really her forte. School, on the other hand...

This is absolutely delightful! I love all the little worldbuilding touches--especially the "all-clear party" :pinkiehappy:

Having constellations be living tropes and archetypes is an interesting concept. Of course, that raises interesting questions about where they came from to begin with (especially if they're only a couple thousand years old and consider Luna to be their mom, which raises further questions of its own...)

Pinkie knows planning a party can't be easy :moustache:

You're welcome to claim the stuff on starbeasts for your own. There are few better forms of flattery than "headcanon accepted."

Not smoky, but those airships definitely came with their own storm system. Either way, it's a sky full of black clouds.

I never claimed to be above self-indulgence. :derpytongue2:

Bold of you to assume Pinkie can't arrange foal-appropriate destressing activities. (Also, you may have cracked why she keeps inventing new holidays.)

Not what I was going for, but I'm willing to roll with this interpretation.

10776464 10776591
When Luna calls herself "Mother of the Stars," she's not being figurative. She may have adopted them, but she still expects better.

That only goes so far. Especially when the "duplicates" keep calling ponies horses, struggle to walk, can't figure out magic, keep talking about things nopony's heard of, are being herded by a mare who's vanished for years... Oh, and the Twilight somehow traded wings for glasses.
That said, glad to hear I knocked this one out of the park. :twilightsmile:

Thanks! Always fun to flesh out the world wherever I can.

The stars have always been there. The constellations less so; mythopoeia needs myth-makers. Draco's age is more of an estimate than a hard number, especially since part of that time was the Discordant Era.

Twilight really should have gotten her on board much sooner. And she might have if she didn't have such a convenient way to send invitations across the globe. :moustache:


A non-crystal pony has a crystal pony virus? I expect that to be either benign or fatal.

Turns out those Crystal Heart makeovers have some long-term immunological side effects.

Did that end up being plan C, D, or I?

A little of each. Call it the Morshu Contingency.

Twilight ultimately learned that although it was in her nature to spread friendship, festivals weren't really her forte. School, on the other hand...

Best to stick to her strengths. Now, if Pinkie were the Princess of Friendship...

“Now you’re going a little overboard.” Still, Twilight found herself smiling. “Did you spend that whole time thinking of ways to cheer me up?”
“Did it work?”
“It definitely put a dent in my self-doubt. I suppose the Festival is more symbolic than anything…” Twilight hesitated, looking towards Canterlot. She could almost imagine she could see the preparations taking place in front of the castle, just next to the red smear of Draco. “But it is still the very first one.”
Spike shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s not like some big, smoky, princess-hunting monster will actually crash the party.”
Both of them took a few moments to consider that. “Spike, make a note to review the royal intelligence reports when we get the chance.”
“Yeah, probably a good call. But for right now, Sugarcube Corner?"

*A few days later, while reviewing the royal intelligence report...*
Twilight Sparkle: "SPIKE!!??"
Spike: "Yo, what's up?"
Twilight Sparkle: "So--from what I see here, you really did more than just think about ways of cheering me up for the Festival."
Spike: "Oh? Whatever do you mean?"
Twilight Sparkle: "Admit it! You scripted that entire encounter with Draco and then having Princess Luna pop in to 'supposedly rescue me'!?"
Spike: "I most certainly did not script it!"
Twilight Sparkle: "It says here that on Tuesday of the previous week, you met with Princess Luna, and that together, the both of you left on her chariot to the Far North for several hours--which just happens to be where Draco resides! :twilightangry2:"
Spike: "'Scripted' would be going too far to describe it. Nopony could possibly predict you to that degree. We did choreographed it, though. His conversation with you was strictly ad-libbed. :moustache:"
Twilight Sparkle: "SPIKE!! :twilightangry2:"
Spike: "Hey, I knew you were going to be disappointed by everypony declining your invites. And I also knew you were going to need cheering up as a result. So, I did what I could to help. :moustache:"
Twilight Sparkle: "And if I had been kidnapped by him? :facehoof:"
Spike: "Princess Luna was standing by, ready to 'rescue' you. :moustache:"
Twilight Sparkle: "Or if I ended up deciding to fight and it resulted in Ponyville being destroyed before Princess Luna could intervene? :twilightangry2:"
Spike: "Draco was game for that, too. He said he could always use the excuse of exercising to keep himself in shape and it's more fun than trashing his neighborhood like every day with nopony about--he says it's kind of boring doing calisthenics all alone. Besides, it's not like you could really hurt him in any event. To be honest, I think he could use a friend to drop by once in awhile. He was way too happy to jump in to help. Besides, Ponyville's fully insured and we would just log it as being part of the usual monster drill. The cost for such simulated destruction is covered by our Equestrian-Farms Insurance coverage. :moustache:"
Twilight Sparkle: "Y--you did that--for me!? :twilightoops:"
Spike: "Me, Princess Luna, and Draco. Because we all love you, Twilight. :moustache:"
Twilight Sparkle: "Awww.... :twilightsheepish:"

Oh it was never a doubt that she does. Its just without alcohol to relax you from some of the existential dread, which is something Pinkie would never serve foals, you wonder what type of activity she would bring to the table so to speak.

That was a great read, and it reminded me that I have yet to finish my Aurelion Sol pony story.

Namepending Castle


"And the hen who very nearly provided a breakthrough in dermosymbology." Twilight stopped in her pacing and gritted her teeth. "Except she didn't." She started to smell smoke. Probably something in the oven. Why was it getting so bright in here?

FoME you really gotta stop being so clever all the time my doctor says it’s bad for my health

The image of using the Map as a coffee table is great, and pretty much exemplifies the entire story.

Nice :)

On a second read, it occurs to me to wonder -- given Draco's rant regarding Luna's parenting style and putative preferences for certain children over others -- if Taurus may happen to have similar mommy issues of their own...

“That yeti migration’s still going strong. Prince Rutherford said something’s got them even more riled up than usual. Nocreature’s going in or out of Yakyakistan for the next three weeks unless they want to risk getting eaten."

Having not seen but heard about the movie, am I to guess that the Storm King had something to do with those yeti?

Given the mention of Yakyakistan, I think the yetis are supposed to be the ones seen in a few episodes living in the mountains outside Yakyakistan proper.

Heh, this is a fun explanation; I especially love the idea of Minoan writing taking the form of mazes; makes for an interesting and unique concept I'd love to see more of (and kinda reminds me of a rather different but not entirely unsimilar idea I'd had regarding Changeling script in Of Responsibility... Which I'll return to one day...)

And I very much agree, the lack of starbeasts is a great disappointment.

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