• Member Since 21st Oct, 2020
  • offline last seen 26 minutes ago

applejackofalltrades


Trying to see how many ways I can hurt Applejack, apparently. Ko-Fi

T

Hey, it’s Wallflower. I’m not at the phone right now, but you can leave a message, or text me. Or don’t. You probably dialed me by mistake. Beep.” 

Wallflower has a history of depression. One night when Sunset can’t get through to her, she’s forced to go and look for her with the help of a friend. Where could she have gone? Is it too late? Sunset will make sure it isn’t. Wallflower deserves so much more.


Third place finalist for Scampy’s SunFlower shipping contest.
Thanks to Majadin , HapHazred , and RainbowDashSonicFast for prereading!

Massive TW: This story talks very heavily about suicide and suicidal thoughts. If you are having similar thoughts, or thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to someone you trust, or call a hotline. Things will get better, you are not alone. If you need to talk about anything, or even just to make a new friend, my messages are open. Please stick around for the next story.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 56 )

I can tell this will be a wonderfully executed somber story from you again. And I can't wait to read later :twilightsmile:

10754849
I hope it lives up to your expectations! Thanks for the kind words

Rainbow Dash shifted behind Wallflower.

It should be Sunset at this point

10754853
The way this got past like 3 drafts and two prereaders and none of us noticed. Thanks for pointing this out!

10754858
No problem, it was a great read.

Give this Jack an award. This was really good

10754907
Thank you! That means a lot :>

So many emotions were in this story.

10754960
Oh. Good to know.

RDT

She didn’t notice Wallflower’s horrified look until she was going to pass her the helmet she had picked up.

I thought that was gonna trigger the guilt again.

searchet

And that's the only typo I noticed.

Overall good story, I like it.

God damn that was good, really hits you right in the heart.

As someone who, once upon a time, struggled with crippling suicidal depression, this really struck me in the feels something fierce. Well played. Well played indeed.

Looks good my dude! Elegantly done. Best of luck in judging!

This is such an amazing story; I wish I can favourite something twice. Have a great day! :heart:

She just hoped that it would be enough – that she would be enough. With a nervous frown and a reaffirming pat from Rainbow Dash, who held onto Sunset once more, she sped off down the road in the opposite direction. The wind blew with her, and if Sunset believed in something of a higher power, she’d think it was on purpose; a way to get her a speed boost and lead her in the right direction, but that was ridiculous.

When you're reuniting with the person you love, you don't need directions to know where they're at. Your love for them is your compass.

This was nicely written. Sunset's anxiety over her girlfriend not responding to texts was an interesting take. I used to get pretty bad paranoia issues when people don't respond to my texts. And I'm pretty much always the one that's worrying too much, and they're actually totally fine. They just forgot to respond or whatever.

a simple black screen with the words ‘I’m sorry’ on them.

Careful Wallfower your Canadian is showing :rainbowlaugh: this is clearly out of context but that joke just popped into my head. i'm sorry

I'm not sure how to feel about the ending. I don't know, it's just the whole ending about Wallflower wanting to commit suicide was pretty expected, and it made the long leadup to it not very compelling to read, although it was well written. The premise of the story reads like a mystery, but at the end of the story it doesn't really feel like a mystery was solved.

Overall though I loved the writing quality, and your characterization of Sunset and Wally is much more accurate than mine (and you just had to find a way to sneak Applejack into the story didn't ya? :ajsmug:) I hope this gets the recognition it deserves in the contest. Best of luck in the judging.

Also, P.S. I see you're an AppleDash shipper. In EQG I believe RariJack is semi-canon. :raritywink: :ajsmug:

10755104
Thanks for pointing out the typo! Not sure how that got through. Im glad you enjoyed!

10755109
Thank you! I think I did what I intended >~<


10755282
I'm assuming you're better now, which I'm glad for. Thank you for the kind words!


10755300
Best of luck to you as well!


10755302
Thanks! Have a great day as well


10755306
Thats a great way to put it for sure.


10755371
Hmm I'm glad you enjoyed and I will consider your critique and keep it in mind for future writings. Although I'm glad overall you thought it was alright! And yes I definitely had to sneak her in there somewhere.

Also I totally ship Rarijack in EQG and I had alluded to that ship originally but you can blame Hap for the whole "they were both in bed" thing happening. But overall, Rarijack TOTALLY canon in EQG, I agree

You know all those notifications you're getting right now? You deserve them. You got me all misty eyed.

10755490
Aw thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed

Amazing, earned it's spot in my favorites list.

10756267
Thank you so much! That means a lot

I'm glad I took the time to read this, you did really great!

10757275
Thank you for taking the time to read it ^^ and for the kind words

This is a really good story.

wow! :yay: Lots of feels there, that was awesome! Good story! :twilightsmile:

Congrats on winning 3rd place for the contest!

JAY. I HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. WHY IS IT SO SAD. WHY IS IT SO GOOD. AHHHHHH.

This was actually amazing. Certain things really hit hard and hit home for me, and it's just... I can't even describe how this makes me feel. Everything is perfect. Sunset's panic, the shaking in Wallflower's voice, everything.

Anyways besides the parts that made me both feel things and made me dead inside, this:

With a renewed sense of hope, Sunset stood up from her bed and checked her notifications again. It was silly to check so often, but she had to.

Feels rather relevant, so I'm gonna say this was funnily accurate. Anyways, I'm gonna go rant to you on Discord about how good a writer you are now. Enjoy this mini-essay.

10815783
thank you for the comment and I am glad you enjoyed (and that iwas able to destroy you a bit again). I wasn’t really even planning to enter Scampy’s contest but... Well, I had an idea and I had to do something with it. Sunset’s fear, as well as Wallflower’s actions are both based on things I’ve experienced myself, so I tried to draw from that. I guess it worked :>

I must have been having a bad day when I first read this if I didn't fave it then. Mistake corrected!

10818964
Aw thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the fave!

My girlfriend has been dealing with some pretty bad depression for a long time now.
Thanks for reminding me to text her and let her know i appreciate her.
The story was also pretty good

10823994
I hope your girlfriend's doing alright. Glad to see you enjoyed the story

10824298
hell yeah thank you man

The result is a touching story that once again proves how valuable it is to have love and support in life. There is also a moral side to the events in this story. There is a useful site on this topic where you can learn about the basic principles of ethics in everyday life. Sunset's behavior was primarily ethical and suggests that human life is paramount, no matter what relationship you are in. The story, although difficult in places, still leaves a good aftertaste behind, thank you

10863535
Thanks for the comment. I’m glad you enjoyed this one :)

There was a pause on the other end of the phone. This wasn’t the first time Sunset found herself hating phones. How was she supposed to know how the other person felt if she couldn’t see them? How was she supposed to prevent situations like this?

very relatable, this. also why text-based communication is even more anxiety-inducing, though that is most of my communication these days!

The phone let out a muffled noise. “I’m right here,” Rainbow’s groggy voice responded from Applejack’s side.

Sunset cocked her head. That was unexpected.

i did appreciate this fun way to introduce your appledash here

After the longest few minutes of Sunset’s life, she spotted a figure standing on the bridge overpassing Mirror Lake.

this made me think of the Mirror Pool, though i do not know if that was intentional at all.


it's an interesting structure, with nearly the entire narrative taking place inside a very worried sunset shimmer's head. as a tale of suspense, it definitely worked, with me seeing wallflower's fate going either way throughout the piece, all the way until sunset finally sees her in person, and feeling a sense of relief when she does. it was a very nice detail with the t-shirt, as well, both for the disquieting imagery of wallflower wearing only that in the cold, and the reason she gives for it later.

i like that there really isn't an end. no revelation or epiphany. just a segue into a more familiar and casual banter between sunset and wallflower, as if the evening were like any other. it's a much better treatment of the subject than the alternative. things like this don't really just "end" in one moment, after all. it almost makes me feel like this fic would belong under "slice of life", if there were no connotations of being less serious. anyway, great job!

This story terrifies me.

Not in the normal meaning of the word horror. However, it taps into a more adult fear, one of losing someone you loved because they didn’t deem themselves good enough for you. It’s frighteningly realistic. The anxiety, the anticipation, the complete disregard of common sense because Sunset wanted to get to Wallflower as fast as possible.

Not only is this realistic, but all the emotions were done very well. I could feel Sunset’s panic.

I have to admit, I’m not in this boat, I’ve been lucky with my boyfriend. I don’t feel like I can relate to this story as much as someone else does, all I can really say is from the outside looking in. It looks realistic to me, and it reads very well. However, that’s all I can really say on it.

As for how it stands right now, I think you did a really good job.

10942173
Yeah, the Mirror Pool and the Mirror Lake thing was intentional.

And as for everything else, yeah, I... honestly, well, when I first started writing this, I actually didn't know how it was going to end. I was basing this off of a similar but also much more helpless real life experience I had, so I wasn't sure if I wanted it to end the way it ended for me or end the way it ended here. I think that helped with the later drafts keeping the unsure feeling throughout the story. As for her shirt... well... yeah, that reaction was pretty much what I hoped to achieve with that.

And you're right. Things like this don't just end, which is why I didn't want it to seem like there was some sudden turn of fate, or a random resolution, because that isn't true. Sometimes, you just have to let things take longer to heal and move on. That's what they do at the end. The conversation can be had later, when it's the right time, but for now, Sunset just needs to comfort Wallflower in a way that isn't too obvious and in a way that's familiar.

Thanks for the comment :) if you couldn't tell, I enjoy talking about this fic ahaha

10942236
While I can't say I've been in the same boat here, I was in a similar kind of situation once a long time ago. It's what inspired this story, actually. Unfortunately it didn't end the way it ended here, but I wanted to paint a more... hopeful, kind of narrative while keeping the fear and erratic thought process the same. I wanted to drive home that even when things are okay, they're not always okay, and that's... well, okay.

I appreciate the comment and the fact that you thought it felt real. i tried to channel long pushed-down emotions into this. Maybe that helped.

Thanks for the comment :)

This was wonderful.

There's no worse feeling in the world than helplessness, especially when it concerns the ones you love. Having to anxiously wait a reply because you need to know someone is alright just tears you apart. You execute on those ideas really brilliantly here. I love the anxiety building and the exploration of emotions form Sunset, the desperation is very visceral and real and completely in character for the situation.

I think that there were a few parts in your sentences where it felt like you had some extra words that kinda add unnecessary things to break the flow a bit, but overall this was really well done. I do wonder if this could have had a better resolution with Applejack and Rainbow but I appreciate their inclusion, because friends are always there to support you when you need them. Also your subtle AppleDash has not gone unnoticed.

This was a fantastic piece, great great work!

10942327
Thank you very much for the comment! I definitely did try to tap into that helpless feeling, and I'm glad it came through for sure. And as for Applejack and Rainbow Dash, you can actually blame Hap for that! In one of the drafts, he mentioned maybe adding another character or two to have Sunset bounce off of. Then, he mentioned how it'd be funny if they were in bed together rather than arguing through the phone, which is how I originally wrote it.

Actually, my other friend who preread this really didn't like Applejack for trying to brush it off. I intentionally wanted to write AJ and Dash like that to actually put Sunset's thoughts into physical characters. One of them is supposed to represent the somewhat silly hope that Wallflower's fine while the other is supposed to represent the part of Sunset that knows she needs help. Easy to guess which is which. Unfortunately, it made AJ come off as a bit of an ass for a little bit there, but I feel like it worked.

Anyway sorry to reply with an essay, I just love talking about this fic aha. Thanks for the comment!!!

Howdy hi!

This was amazing. I love the motions you write into the story. It felt.. real? Visceral? Well done. I've honestly been in this situation so I can emphasize with the absolute panic that happens when you get that non-call and well of emotions that occur when it happens. Hit close to home.

I love you wrote everyone in this story and I like the subtle wink with Rainbow and AJ. Well done there.

I dunno all I can say is that this story was really well done. It was a tragic story done correctly. I never got the feeling that it was played up or tragic for tragic's sake and I think that shows how amazing a writer you are.

Absolutely brilliant work.

10944293
Thank you very much! I'm sorry you've been through something similar. I know it sucks, and I hope everything turned out okay.

I definitely tried to keep it only as "dramatic" as the situation called for. I was afraid people would think it was kind of boring, but I seem to have struck a good balance of realism and storytelling.

Thanks for the comment!

I'm extraordinarily glad to have read this after Supernova, both in terms of their emotional impact and because of the different portraits of Wallflower battling depression that they offer. Here we see her grueling battle for her mental health through the eyes of those who love her most, and that she struggles with not giving up and clinging onto her life for, well, dear life. We know by the end of this story that she is safe, alive, and able to live another day. That means she has her chance to keep healing and win her battles, and that her awesome girlfriend will be there with her. In Supernova she is either dead or going to be impaired for the rest of her life in some way, and either possibility is dreadful for different reasons. I think my favorite part about this story other than the emotional intensity, was how earnest and hopeful it was, all her problems are not solved by the end but Wally can absolutely still live a good life.

11008209
Yeah it’s definitely very different to Supernova. I remember being in a very specific headspace while writing this, which is why I wrote it at all. I almost didn’t even write anything for the Sunflower contest, tbh. It definitely does have a spark of hope that really kind of makes the ending happy, despite what its about. She’ll be okay here, for sure. Thank you for the comment :>

Login or register to comment