• Member Since 4th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen 28 minutes ago

Posh


Professional pun-runner and all-around cutie patootie

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A wave of suicides sweeps through Canterville. Sunset and the girls can't stop it.

But maybe Wallflower Blush can. She just needs someone to show her how.

A crossover with Puella Magi Madoka Magica.


Edited by DannyJ and Dubs Rewatcher. Cover art by Scampy.

With acknowledgement to Morning Sun, my resident Madoka Magica loremaster.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 181 )

This is has it all, man. Wonderfully written emotions, bits of casual friendly chat that could be straight out of the show, an immediate sense of dreadful mystery and a kick-ass fight scene to top it all off? Its incredible how well you blended so many elements together. This chapter really is greater than the sum of its parts, just like the show(s) that inspired it.

I adore the way you write Wally--she's really trying her best, but its plain that beneath it all she's suffering a lot more than she lets on. And Lorelai is such a sassy punk bitch. I love her immediately.

Can't wait to see where this goes!

10225842 nowhere pleasant, probably.

being meguka is suffering.

Author combo + crossover franchise + Wally? This is gonna be some high octane suffering.

Hell yes. I can't wait to suffer.

I'm 100% down for this. You've already got the tone down pat, and I need all the Madoka-style content I can get. Always. I look forward to the future sufferings of the meguka!

being meguca is suffering

I'm putting this in my Read it Later shelf. It's a promise that I'll read it sometime, because I don't think I'm emotionally ready to be devastated.

Yeah, that's right, I'm a wuss and I ain't ashamed to say so!

Oh me oh my, a Madoka Magica corssover~! Well then, let's get this train rolling!

Great job on this! In the first part, you did a wonderful job exploring the reaction to Moondancer's suicide, and followed that with really interesting interactions between Sunset and Wallflower. And to top it all off, you managed to describe a pretty great witch's labyrinth and battle; show music played in my head, which is a good sign. I'm definitely looking forward to the rest of this fic.

Ow shoot things are escalating fast

You're taking this in some novel directions, at least from what little I remember of Madoka. A story like this is driven by its characters, and I await how you plan on tearing Sunset and Wallflower to pieces.

Harvesting teen angst to prevent the heat death of the universe is something so ridiculous I couldn't possibly forget, though. Maybe Twilight would actually be on board if she knew, lol.

10226212
Drama is neat, is all. Magic is also neat. Meguka-suffering is an immutable law, so I might as well enjoy the journey even with a clearly bleak destination.

10226235
Got it. Why do you enjoy it even if it will be bleak?

Because I don't think a story has to be happy to be worth telling! In the case of the anime, Madoka Magica, the story isn't a conventionally happy one, but the development of the characters and the way the story reveals the world to you is definitely appealing to me.
I'm also fully aware that not everyone enjoys those kinds of stories, because no two people look to get the same thing out of reading. In any case, I'm in it for the beauty of a well-crafted world or to follow the growth/decline of a character I can come to understand.

Maybe the answer is a bit long-winded and cryptic, but I kind of got caught up in my head while writing this!

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To be fair, I think that Madoka's overall bleak tone gets exaggerated (even if "being meguka is suffering" is a meme for a reason). As dire as the show can get, it's never dark for the sake of being dark, and I don't get the sense of bad-faith, narrative sadism from it that I do from something like Game of Thrones.

Madoka is dark, sure. But "bleak," to me, implies that the darkness is all that there is. And Madoka, for as dark as it gets, ends up being an optimistic, hopeful series.

Which is ultimately what I want to do with this story, as well.

10226261
That's a fair assessment. In this case the bleakness was admittedly mostly speculative. I've never been a fan of "dark for darkness' sake", either.

Though in the case of Madoka, I personally see Rebellion as having a less than optimistic ending, even if the line there is blurred enough that we would likely end up arguing semantics more than anything substantial.

This story, though, is yours, and promising already. All memes aside your concept for both world and character is what drew me to the story.

10226273 My magical girl wish was for unholy writing talent.

10226261
Ok, got it. Thanks for that.

I'm not allowed to carry matches anymore.

Well, that's a story in and of itself.

I outgrew my black leather phase a long time ago, but thanks.

See previous statement.

I do like that Wallflower feels comfortable enough around Sunset to call her a dodo.

Didn't we have an anime club at school for a while? Whatever happened to it?

In the non-crossover timeline, it's going strong.

Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this. This should be quite the experience for Wallflower.

waflowa, become meguka

10228508

No, FoMEduka

FoMEduka... rabu.

Eeeee! This was amazing! The atmosphere was just oomph, fanstastic. I'm so curious about where this story will go.

Cadance said nothing to Sunset. With a dazed look in her eyes, and a dumb smile on her face, she glanced from left to right. There was something on her neck, a violet mark that Sunset was certain hadn't been there at the vigil: A five-pointed star, its rays outlined in turquoise.

me reading this: Oh hell yes, it's time! *blasts gradus prohibitus*

As expected, I have no idea what's going on but my curiosity has been piqued

Posh - 06/25/2019
fire burning will abruptly shift to follow the adventures of Ashen Horse, a very dusty and horny pony trying to get some head.

DannyJ - 06/25/2019
You already wrote that chapter, remember?

Posh - 06/25/2019
No, because ashen horse is also the goddess velka.
Key distinction between himself and firelink.

DannyJ - 06/25/2019
But Firelink is also the goddess Velka.
That was going to be the final reveal of the story.
He's in the Kiln of the First Flame, and he's just finished off Gwynlestia and is busy doing a Fornite dance on her corpse, when Sunset says, "Hey, how about we link the fire now, huh?" And Firelink turns to her and says, "No." Then he turns into a crow and flies away, and the reveal is explained in the author's notes.
Rian Johnson helped me script the scene.
He's actually a real nice guy.

Posh - 06/25/2019
this seems like the kind of hackneyed nonsense that would easily top the featured box.
we also need sunset to be constantly lactating.

DannyJ - 06/25/2019
She already is in the currently written story, Posh.
You gotta learn to read between the lines.
It's called subtext.

10243854 Fuckin spoilers, dude.

10243856

I can spoil my own story if I want to.

Ohhhhhh boy. Excellent chapter all the way through, and there's a lot to unpack here.

Wallyyyyyyy... My poor little precious baby bean. Between her previous interaction with the officer, Kyubey's little remark and Wally's knowledge about the length of suicide holds, it sounds like she had a suicide attempt of her own in the past. Knowing that somehow makes Wally losing her best friend to suicide all the more agonizing.

The dialogue, as always, is just perfect. You've got the easy banter and informative, succinct explanations woven together so well. It's so lively and snappy and blends seamlessly with the prose, which is itself extremely well-written. There's no gratuitous details or lengthy exposition--you really know how to leave just enough breadcrumbs for the reader to pick up on the things that wind up being the most impactful parts of the chapter. Reading this makes me feel smart, which is a super cool writing accomplishment.

Ya done did good, kid. Again. I am a proud scampy \o/

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Frickin soup boys have no respect for spoiler tags, I swear to god

Wallflower, I hear entering into contracts is a wise idea for sure with no consequences

Why are Puella Magi Madoka Magica fanfics always tragedies? I don't mind reading tragedies at all! It just seems weird to me that everyone of them that I've read has had an unhappy ending.

10243923
I mean, as long as she finds enchantment removal within three turns, she should be fine. :trollestia:

10243957 In keeping with the tone and theme of the series? Being meguca is suffering, after all.

That said, I don’t know that this story will be straight tragedy at the end. It may well be bisexual tragedy.

10244554 I mean, when you put it that way...

This was a good followup chapter, allowing the characters to process what happened, and for us to see more of Lorelai's personality outside of being an aloof jerk. The dialogue continues to be good, and everyone acts in character.

It always feels weird to me when cops and such show up in EQG fanfics. Like the world as depicted in the animation simply isn't set up for higher forms of law enforcement than magical teens, lol. We see cops sometimes, but they're just there to dance.

I admit I had to look up what brinner is, before reaching the explanation in the story. Doesn't sound appealing.

I'm curious to see how witches handle rainbow lasers.

Well, it was to be expected for Kyubey to approach Wallflower. Will she be smart about this and ask for a second opinion? Probably. Will she proceed to meguca later anyway? Probably.

Maybe you think you're being noble, trying to protect someone – whether it's Cadance, or if there was another person in the alley with you, I don't know.

She is trying to protect someone, officer. You.

"I've talked to Officer Killjoy before." Wallflower's next step dragged against the concrete. "She was nice to me then, too."

That raises questions...

"She'll be held at the hospital for twenty-four hours. "
"Forty-eight." Wallflower's voice was a whisper, faint as the wind.

And I believe that raises answers.

"You got time for brinner?"

"I prefer dinfast."
"Since we're friends, I'm going to ignore that."

Ah yes, the classic "different magical entities comparing notes" scene. A fun part of any World of Darkness crossover campaign.

"This is a witch." She gave the shaker a little wave."
Sunset raised an eyebrow. "That is pepper."
"It is a metaphor. And it is a witch."

Sunset may not like Lorelai, but I love their dynamic.

She set the pepper shaker down on the table. Wallflower quickly reached across the table, grabbed it, shook some out on her spaghetti, and mixed it together.

Well. That doesn't bode ill in any way, shape, or form.

"Is that why I always see you two holding hands in physics?"

:twilightoops: "W-we're just exchanging long protein strands."

Tomorrow, I'll fill the rest of the girls in. I'm sure we can figure out a way to put a stop to all of this.

I mean, the Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything, Naked Ape Edition probably would be effective against a creature twisted by grief and hatred, though it's far from a sure thing. And the scope of the problem is definitely bigger than Sunset realizes.
Still, given Harmony magic's track record with corrupted beings... Just imagine Kyubey's reaction if they did the impossible.

As long as we're together, nothing's gonna take us down.

Yeah, that's definitely tripping the ol' impending doom sensor.

Your worth is nowhere near as obvious and prosaic as hers.

Translation: She has a more robust social support structure.

But make no mistake, deep within you is the potential to be more than what you are – to make a difference in a way that none of your peers could. Not even Sunset Shimmer.

Kyubey doesn't lie. He can do everything he needs to with the truth.

And hey, if I hadn't said that last chapter, someone else was sure to. :raritywink:

10243986
Alternatively... "Hey Fluttershy, want this kitten?"

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But that's just giving Fluttershy to herself

"Weird-lookin' cat."

Found actual footage of the scene where Wallflower meets Kyubey for the first time:

"I finally got my Digimon partner!" Wallflower thought, yet to realize that she's in a very different kind of anime.

Now that I've gotten all the shitposting out of my system, I actually want to say that this chapter has sold me on the story, and I enjoyed it far more than the first chapter. Funny what a difference it makes to actually have some context! May even watch some of the actual show, who knows? That and the very natural way the dialogue and prose flows together like in all of your stories just holds my attention in a way that I wish I could accomplish with my own writing (this sentence, for instance, is a real goddamn mess).

Normie question coming up: is Lorelai a character from the anime? Or is she an OC? Either way, I look forward to learning more about her. And speaking of interesting OCs, I hope we'll get a little more of Killjoy than the little cameo in this chapter. She's always fun to read about!

10248889 Although she takes cues from different members of the show cast, Lorelai is an OC. Meduka Meguca proper takes place in some kind of futuristic Japan, and I’d place this story well before that, in terms of timeline.

I’m really glad you’re getting into the story, too :twilightsmile:

Headcanon: If you watch the show, just assume that Twilight invented all the future tech. Especially the neat-looking, but highly impractical, CD player. You’ll see what I mean.

10248913
Does that mean Twilight also behind the cultural revolution that led to having absolutely ridiculous amounts of chairs in every room?

(Also, reading everything from when Wallflower first saw Kyubey was an exercise in "oh no, oh no, oh no.") Needless to say, I'm very much invested by now and I'm loving the way my mind is warping the EQG world with a Madoka aesthetic.

10251660 I don't know if you've seen Magia Record, but there's a high school rooftop with a massive pile of (presumably symbolic) chairs stacked on top of it where the protagonists have intense, cathartic conversations.

Twilight is responsible for the chair-bubble's popping, and the decline of the Japanese chair industry.

10253929
I've definitely seen magireco and accept this new chair-canon. I always kinda assumed the admittedly... convenient scenery all over the show was due to (S1 spoilers) the meddling of the Wings of the Magius and their rumormongering

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
Explain to me why I should care about this.

Posh - 12/03/2017
because I give your life meaning

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
No, that's not true.

Posh - 12/03/2017
It's pretty true.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
No.

Posh - 12/03/2017
You may tell me how much you love it now.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
I have not read it; you have not yet incentivised me to care.

Posh - 12/03/2017
Provides deep pharynx lore?

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
How deep?

Posh - 12/03/2017
It sheds light upon his sordid activities during the lead-up to the first sacking of Canterlot.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
Explain to me why I should care about THAT.

Posh - 12/03/2017
Because I will eat an entire bucket of worms if you read it.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
Still not helping.

Posh - 12/03/2017
Well what WOULD help?

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
Write a better story.
About different characters.
And with a different premise.
Possibly also with tactical espionage action.

Posh - 12/03/2017
I can't submit that to a writeoff though.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
Says who?
Judges?
Audiences?
If you cared about either of those things, you wouldn't write at such a shit level of quality in the first place.

Posh - 12/03/2017
It has PGS-related lore? Minos is an established thing. If I port it over to FiMfic, I can throw in double-barreled Minotaur shotguns.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
I care about none of these things, Posh.
You know what I do care about?
Solid Snake's crotch-serpent.
Write about that for me.
Write me a short story right now.

Posh - 12/03/2017
You want me to spontaneously write you a story about solid snake's penis.
just... right now.

DannyJ - 12/03/2017
Right now.
Yes.

Wallflower may be skeptical enough to ask all the right questions, but she's not observant enough to pick up on the clues about Moondancer's death, or her secret. Why doesn't she just tell Sunset the truth, though? Who's going to help her train her powers if she doesn't?

All of your characterizations are great as usual, but especially Sunset. God, your Sunset continues to be my favorite on the site. Prose good, I liked the pacing of this chapter, and the perspective change at the end was great. If I had one complaint about this chapter, there's not nearly enough suffering. Please make me cry myself to sleep next time.

10274136 There IS a another chapter after this one.

Brushing her hand off on her jeans – a lot more dust in the carpet than she thought – she stood, and started to pace.

I love your eye for little details like this.

"Lorelai said that magical girls and witches were 'equal and opposite' equivalents. She made it sound like there was a direct relationship between them."

The tip of Kyubey's ear flicked. "Did she?"

I love how subtle this moment is.

Behind Sunset stood a mixed congregation of mourners, humans and ponies. Most were familiar enough, but only discernible by their colors; no matter how she tried to look at them, she couldn't see their faces.

Great way to clue in the readers that this is a dream.

"'Sup?"

"I will literally hyperventilate to death before the first bell unless you tell me what happened last—"

"Fine, fine. Geez." Sunset slapped her face and groaned.

Fantastic dynamic.

"Gosh, it sounds like you had a blast. Wish I could've joined in." Sunset drained the last of her drink, crushed the can, and tossed it under her desk. "But I was too busy getting sucked into hell, assaulted by vine-tacles, and negged by a dumb blonde."

Perfection.

"Please, stop bringing up the bodega."

Please, never stop bringing up the bodega.

The sight of her visitor, when she finally appeared, didn't put her at ease – though it did make her tummy flutter. It was Lorelai

:sbthink:

"The last thing she did before she died was... clean her room?"

She didn't need to turn around to know Kyubey was staring at her; he hadn't taken his eyes off her once. Even now, she could feel his gaze, like a pair of red-hot coals burning her to the bone.

If I pointed out every bit of good imagery in this chapter alone this comment would be miles long, but this one really stood out to me. Haunting stuff.

Wallflower nodded, and stared out the opened window. A breeze ruffled the curtains. They swayed, like hands, waving to her, beckoning her.

Fuck. Sooooo good!


Anyways if you couldn't tell already, I loved this chapter. It's definitely the best one so far, which is crazy considering how good the first two are. Really excited to see where this story goes from here. And this chapter definitely delivered on suffering, at least to me. Gonna be staring at the ceiling when I try to sleep tonight.

"Even the laws of physics? Nature?" With her fingertip, Wallflower idly drew a little circle in the shaggy carpet of her bedroom. "Could I... could I wish for someone to come back from the dead?"

Kyubey didn't say anything for a moment. In his silence, Wallflower could sense his rejection.

"Were that to be your wish," he said, slowly, at last. "I wouldn't be able to grant it."

I believe you are allowed to wish people back to life. I played one of their spin off games on mobile (Magia Record) and one girl wished her friend to be revived after she committed suicide. Just pointing it out although I can understand plot wise to change it up a bit. No biggie. Really wonder what Wallflowers wish would be.

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