• Member Since 14th Oct, 2018
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Guardian Amy


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2701584
1. DO NOT have AB being physically chastised. Instead have Granny Smith explain why her actions are wrong, and that she is lucky to have only been expelled (as I believe you said, they were nearly arrested). Afterwards, have her confined to her room as per the original story, but AJ asks to enter. AB refuses, but relents, and the two siblings reconcile. I'd imagine the conversation going something like this;
AJ: "Ah can't understand, or ever condone, why ya chose ta act the way ya did, instead of just talkin' ta me."
AB: "Ah can't erase what Ah did. Ah don't think anyone will ever forgive me and mah friends for this."
AJ: "It is true that you three created a state of chaos and drove a girl to end her own life. So Ah don't know if Ah can ever trust or forgive ya. But we need to try and heal the wounds."

2. Follow through Sweetie Belle's punishment per the original story, but cut Rarity from the sequence completely. Instead, rework that dialogue to an internal monologue, with the bad language being a reflection of SB's inner daemons.

3. Retain Scootaloo as far as Rainbow starting to beat her up, but Bow and Windy intervene. Recycle the argument from the original version of aftermath, sans the violence, then after the kicker line:

"What am I gonna do? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do! I am going to make you feel worse than Sunset. Much, much worse. More than you'll ever imagine. I'll make your life a living hell. Just you wait, you ugly bitch."

Go into the attack. The next bit should go something like this;

Rainbow closed her hand into a fist, which went straight toward the younger girl. Scootaloo closed her eyes and brought her hands up to her face in anticipation of the impact.

It never came. She opened her eyes to see Rainbow being restrained by Bow.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" her adoptive father bellowed.

"Why are you defending this sack of shit?" Rainbow roared. Her voice was dripping with malice and venom, which reminded Scootaloo of her abusive birth mother. "She drove a student to suicide!"

"So you can treat her the same way?" Windy intervened. "I believe you said that you were going to 'make your life a living hell'. How does that make YOU any better?"

Rainbow gave up her struggles, and collapsed into her father's arms. Scootaloo took this as a good opportunity to get out of there.

What do you think?

2676373
Aftermath? I've got a few.

Any ideas for ch. 7?

Thanks for the watch.

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