• Member Since 14th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Guardian Amy


T

This is a rewrite of the original, because a lot of hated it, gave it a lot of dislikes, and said the characters were OOC (Out of Charater). So, here's the rewrite, it's the same plot but the story's different. It'll be a lot better, I promise! Enjoy!

After Sunset Shimmer committed suicide after a failed attempt to reason with her friends, her soul got trapped in a place called the darkness. Her friends, the CMC, with the help of Crystal Star, had to travel the universe to find her and bring her back. And on the way they learned how to find love in themselves and each other.

Will they'll be able to find Sunset and bring her back?

Read and find out.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 97 )

This is a dramatic improvement. I'll track this.

Ok this was a lot better, I like how Sunset blew up at them trying to reason with them, she just yelled or screamed at them, and the ending makes a lot more sense and is more dramatic. and hits harder.
Good job.
Fluttershy's confession of love really makes it more tragic as well, and big fan of that pairing.

Only mistake you made was . I really, really, really, was Anon-a-Miss wasn't you; but there's no one else to blame. Forgive me, but I hate you."

think you meant Wish not was?

nice improvement

Okay, this is much better than the original. Sunset's method of suicide is much more realistic and the Rainbooms reactions to her last attempt at "manipulating" them is much more like them (especially when you remember that they're human teenagers and not the ponies we know and love).

I have only one request for this fic: do not have the Rainbooms celebrate when they find out Sunset committed suicide over this like in the previous version. If anything, they'd be shell shocked that Sunset would kill herself over something she started before Princess Twilight shoves down their throats the fact that she never was Anon-A-Miss and that it's mostly their fault she's dead because they focused too much on the person she used to be when they accused her in the first place.

good luck with this i enjoyed your old one but hopefully this one works better for more people

This one is off to a way better start! I am looking forward to future chapters! Just dont have the girls or the audience celebrating sunset’s death. Also just a question would it be considered to have Princess Celestia visit the human world at some point along wih Twilight?

Small typo here

AND THERE, I HELPED YOU GUYS AND TWILIGHT FROM KILLED

From getting killed

Much better! Please keep going!

So... Is this story based off of the novel/film A Wrinkle in Time?

...I feel like the premise might be the problem...

9338375
Here is the original, for comparison:

TAnon-a-Miss: A Wrinkle in Time
After Sunset committed suicide due to Anon-a-Miss, her friends along with Crystal Rose travel the universe to find her lost soul.
Guardian Amy · 6.8k words  ·  48  58 · 2.4k views

9338375
Yeah, I've been just wondering how the author wanted to fix OOC if the original Anon-a-Miss comic was OOC to begin with. Making them in-character would mean there'd be no story.

9338651
I don't think that would have been a bad thing.

An improved beginning from the original.

However, you should fix these two slip-ups.

I really, really, really, was Anon-a-Miss wasn't you; but there's no one else to blame.

Really wished Anon-a-miss wasn't you

I TRIED EVEN HARDER WHEN THE BATTLE OF THE BAND CAME UP! AND THERE, I HELPED YOU GUYS AND TWILIGHT FROM KILLED BY THE SIRENS!

when the battle of the bands I helped you guys and Twilight from getting killed by the sirens

Hope to read more chapters soon.

I like where it's going. You have a good story upon your hands.

9361426
Well sunset is dead and the human 5 are calling in twilight so stop sunset for a super obvious frame up. Twilight is going to be uber pissed

I'd love to see the CMCs reactions when they find out that Sunset is dead

9361426
The girls are going to call Twilight over to the human world, AFTER accusing Sunset of lying to her when Sunset was trying to get them to read the journal. Twilight is in no way going to side with them, instead she is going to chew them out something fierce. That is seriously the only way that can go.

9361437
Bet ya 10 bucks that it’s gonna be Gud!!

The Rainbooms are screwed. Lets hope she hasnt learnt how to use the 'Royal Canterlot Voice' yet, or that it doesnt work on the human world.

Yet again, a massive improvement over the original version. Keep it up.

Uh oh, I hear a train coming. And wouldn't you know it, the Rainbooms are still standing on the tracks...

9363122
No problem. I will make sure to review this in the near future.

Great chapter cant wait for another one!

Oh, boy.

That assembly isn't gonna be fun for anyone, and especially not the Rainbooms, once they find out the whole truth.

I'm hoping Twilight takes Sunset back to Equestria (and home) for burial.

*Pulls out large tub of popcorn*

"Hey Discord! wanna share? This could get fun"

9373678
You posted this before.

Anyways nice chapter, please please don't have the Rainbooms act like you wrote in the last chapter. Celebrating a person's death like that no excuse and is horrible!
I would really think they be in shock, denial and when accepting the truth devastated, thou poor Fluttershy may go into shock, and seizures thinking it all her fault. Her final words with Sunset at the time.

9373841
Yes from the first version.

9373859 Ah, okay.

Guess I forgot.

I still would like to see Sunset go home for burial, though.
After everything she's gone through because of those three brats, plus the Rainbums and the rest of the school, she deserves that, at least.

9373786
Well, that's the first thing in the next chapter that I'm gonna write.

9373892
Not the cheering part, right? That was so OOC of them.

9374011
I’m betting my 💵 that a nuclear war is gonna happen next.

I kinda don't like how this chapter skipped the situation you set up at the end of the previous chapter.

no no no no
thats exactly what your deserve. in fact you deserve more.

"Skanks, whores, dicks, assholes, motherbuckers, buckheads, sluts, bitches. I swear Celestia, you're all gonna get what's coming to you." she fumed under her breath as she grounded her teeth and clenched her fists.

It was getting so much better-UNTIL you left that line in. Cut it back to:

"By Celestia, I swear that you're all gonna get what's coming to you," she muttered grimly.

Otherwise, good chapter.

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