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Coyote de La Mancha

YouTuber, with a tip jar and a Patreon!


Once, they were students. And friends. And, with their otherworldly magic, occasionally heroes.

Then, the Sirens came back. Feasting on the gang war they had created, the sisters’ power quickly became almost unstoppable. In the face of such a threat, the power of friendship didn’t seem to be enough. So, with Sunset leading the way, the Rainbooms ultimately decided to fight fire with fire.

Every step of the way, Twilight told herself they were only doing what they had to do. Even when people died. Even while she felt herself changing. Right up until a friend tried to kill her by blowing up the boat she was on.

Now, three years later, Twilight Sparkle awakens from her coma in a prison infirmary. And while she’s been down, Canterlot’s gotten even worse.

It’s time to take it back.

(Content note: I think this story is going to be a bit darker than I normally write. Not grimdark, by any means, but this is a dystopian near future. So... darker.)

(In the Author’s Notes of each chapter there is a link to a different song, from which the chapter’s name is derived. If this were a video series, those songs would be the music playing over a given episode’s ending credits.)

If you like my writing, feel free to explore my other stories and continuities.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 49 )

I can't help but feel this is more-than-slightly inspired by Saints Row 2.

Also, I'm a bit confused: are the Rainbooms bad guys or not?

That is a question which will be asked in a variety of ways during the story.

It's Saints Row 2 and yet.....I'm immediately thinking, "Please make Flutters sort of like Kinzie." .//.

The three of them had spent close to an hour afterwards, talking about the Night on Bald Mountain scene. None of them had slept that night, keeping all the lights on they could until dawn.

Twilight as a gangster Chernobog. Quite the mental image.

Kudos on "Flormart." I'm a sucker for good Bland-Name Products.

As for the story, I admit, I'm not at all familiar with the non-pony source material. Still looking forward to seeing where you go with this. (And I find myself hoping that Pinkie Pie channels the later Saint's Row games.)

A saints row crossover played completely straight? Sign me up.

So are the characters gonna be taking on similar roles to the characters from the game?

Similar. Of course, there will also be marked differences, because the EG characters have different abilities and personalities than the SR2 characters, as we’ve already seen. :rainbowderp:

For example, Aisha was much more of a passive non-combatant than Dash’s SO will be in this tale, as will be revealed in a little bit... :raritywink:

This is good so far, and I can't wait to read more of it!:pinkiehappy:

Just out of curiosity, just how many of the Rainbooms are still alive?
Twily is, we know, and I read the bit about "the Dash hearing", so Rainbow is still alive and kickin' (the latter probably literally), but what about the other girls?
Sunset, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie and Flutters?
Are THEY still alive?

*pauses in thought*
Or would that be spoiling things?
If so, not answering my question beyond a "Wait and see" is fine.

Anyway, can't wait for Chapter 3, and whatever shenanigans (bloody or otherwise) that are in store for us in it!

On another note, I get the feeling that that judge that Shining was trying to reason with has a terminal (again, probably literally) case of "teh dumbs".
Just have to wait and see, I guess.

Oh, and excellent second chapter, btw, and keep up the rad work!

Thank you so much! I shall certainly do my best. :twilightsmile:

And, alas, I’m going be answering your questions with a “wait and see” for the most part. For which I do thank you for your patience. :trollestia:

However. Since you asked, I will confirm one ”Is she alive?” question in this regard, along with some of the chain of events connecting it to our current tale...

In this timeline, Applejack is dead. She was one of the casualties of the gang war against the Sirens.
Sometime after her death, the gang war ended and the boat Twilight was on was detonated.
Later, while Twilight was comatose, police raided the farm for reasons as yet unrevealed. They killed Granny Smith and Big Macintosh.
Apple Bloom - guideless, heartbroken, and believing she had nothing left to lose - then sought revenge against the police for her lost kin... spilling yet more blood in the process. She is a survivor, and smart, and was able to elude capture for some time.
Eventually, with the police hunt closing in, she ultimately sought refuge in the orchards of her ancestral home. The police burned it all to the ground - barn, house, orchards and all - driving her out in the process.
Apple Bloom was arrested. Due to the sensationalism and live news coverage of her capture, plus her having been reduced to a state of effective helplessness by smoke and tear gas, she was taken alive.
Because she had evaded capture for so long (months), it was successfully argued that she should be tried as an adult due to a demonstrated degree of Criminal Sophistication.
At the age of sixteen, Apple Bloom was found guilty of multiple counts of first degree murder of police officers. She was sentenced to four consecutive life sentences in prison, with her first parole hearing being possible in thirty years’ time. At the start of this story she is eighteen, and has been living in the Canterlot Correctional Facility for the last two years of her life.

9583115 You're very welcome, and I know you will.

And as I said, that's fine with me.
Can't give everything away, now can we?:raritywink:

And thank you for that.
Sad to see that my favorite character and the majority of her family save for Apple Bloom, and the Acres, are all gone, but I kinda/sorta had a sneaking feeling that AJ was dead when Bloomie asked Twilight if she remembered her, but them's the breaks in stoytelling, as we all know.

Again, excellent chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next!

There needs to be a crossover tag, then. How dark will this story get?

On my screen, there is a Crossover tag. If it isn’t showing on yours, all I can say is it was meant to be there. :scootangel:

As for your question... it’s certainly a valid one. I guess it depends on what is “dark” to an individual reader.

To my tastes, it’s already pretty screaming dark. We just finished the prologue, and we already have (among other things) the destruction of CHS, mass homicide, murder of loved ones by police, bloody revenge, a desperate sibling trying to save Twilight from herself, and survival sex.

Poor Apple Bloom. :applecry:

So, I know that for me, it’s going to be getting fairly dark. I mean, we’re talking about the EG characters in a gangsta situation, here. These are the same people we love from the movies. So, some of the darkness will be coming from the events themselves, and some of it from the fact that these were the CHS students we knew until their situation changed so horrifically as to lead them down this road.

For me, at least, there will be scenes that will be more heartbreaking when told in this story than in the video game... not because of the situation per se, but because (unlike in SR) I knew most of these people before they entered the dark side. And for me, that’s making quite a difference.

Additionally, I don’t go in for deliberate grimdark. For the most part, I like to write my stories as being uplifting in some sense. The main difference here is that I am not promising much overall uplift in TBC. There are various references as to how these characters became who they are now, and there will be more in the future.

Yet, one of the reasons I elected to focus on this part of their story is because I am more interested in the possibility of rising from the ashes than in the certainty of destruction. In my opinion. hope will always be more interesting than doom; even horror becomes boring without hope.

So I suppose it’s kind of like starting on Episode IV, and then refusing to make the prequels. :rainbowlaugh:

But while I am not George R.R. Martin, neither am I George Lucas. None of the characters have plot shielding, and any of them - even Twilight - could potentially die. And certainly, all of them are already suffering.

And so, a very simple question has been answered with Maximum Verbosity. :moustache:

But as your question was a reasonable one, considering the characters and the premise, I wanted to give as accurate (and therefore complete) an answer as I could. It’s certainly not going to be “as dark as it can get,” though the characters themselves might disagree from time to time. Neither will it maintain the kind of quiet, determined optimism that I have kept in my other works. But hope, while never a promise, will always remain.

Just reread this and I was wondering if we can expect Episode 3 of the Prologue at some point in the future.

Just curious, you understand.

Comment posted by Coyote de La Mancha deleted Sep 13th, 2019

Hmmmm. If you’re talking about the “clearing out” of the new HQ, I’m thinking not.

Heh! Nice!

And I’m giving no spoilers regarding Ultor just yet. :trollestia:

never fear thee cavalry is here................... get i cause they're based off a show about ponies

il show my self out

also it rhymes so perhaps ab can shout that after kicking the door in

“There’s no need to fear, Apple Bloom is...”


Yeah, I’ll go, too. :facehoof:

I wanted to like this story, truly, but I probably won't be reading any more. The world and characters here are vastly different from the ones we know, and yet so little time is being put into their development. How do Twilight and AB feel about all this? Instead, you're just focusing on inconsequential details like how the courtroom smells. Also, your action scenes in this instance have very little description; I have trouble visualizing events as they transpire. Coyote, you excel at multiple genres, comedy, drama, even horror. But whatever this is - a gang thriller? - just isn't one of them.

*nods* That’s fair enough. As always, the criticism is appreciated. :twilightsmile:

This is really good so far, and I can't wait to read more of it.

It's always weird when the human nation is called Equestria. Evade, ln the other hand, is a brilliant Bland Name Product. I assume the Evade Bighorn was popular enough to get spun off as its own sub-brand.

Neither of them mentioned the fire-headed girl who had gotten her into cosplaying, back in high school. Some ghosts were best left undisturbed.

Oof. That's definitely going to come up again, likely at the worst possible time.

I just hope we didn’t make this a whole lot harder.

I think you know the odds of that, Twilight.

Crossing her arms, she turned back to look at the courthouse. “Christ, what I’d give for some fucking action.”

Wow, everyone's tempting fate today.

I'm not sure what I love more, the Sombra-esque electronic calling card (Overwatch, not MLP,) or the shameless Zero Wing reference. Eagerly looking forward to more... though Thought Prism does have a point. When the characters get a chance to breathe, I imagine they're going to need a while to sort everything out.


It's always weird when the human nation is called Equestria.

Yeah, I agree. But they’re not in our USA, either. So, after some consideration, I determined that (at least in my stories) the EG live in the United States of Equestria, in the city, county, and state of Canterlot.

Also, it tickles me to imagine Ray from Ghostbusters giving his legendary speech and substituting “Canterlot” instead of “New York.” Not because Canterlot and New York are necessarily parallels by any means, but probably just because I am immensely immature. :rainbowlaugh:

So, anyway, yeah. In this world, our Heroes live in Canterlot, Canterlot, in the USE.

I assume the Evade Bighorn was popular enough to get spun off as its own sub-brand.

Okay, I must confess here that I know almost nothing about automotive vehicles. Almost nothing. Until recently, my assumption was always that there was a massive rubber band connecting the propeller under the hood to the rear axle, and occasionally one needed a mechanic to rewind the silly thing.

So, based upon my extreme ignorance, I am going to guess that you might be thinking of the Shoal Bighorn? I looked it up, and it looked like that was a similar vehicle to the Warsteed?

Oof. That's definitely going to come up again, likely at the worst possible time.

Yeah, I will admit I am really mean to these girls in this universe. I’ve already written the end of the story, and it’s essentially in my usual vein. But I do cringe a little at what I’ll be putting them through to get there. And that includes (among other things) some old wounds between Twi and Sunny. Because yes: to write this tale, I broke up my own OTP. :raritydespair:

Wow, everyone's tempting fate today.

You’d think they’d have learned by now, wouldn’t you?

...Thought Prism does have a point. When the characters get a chance to breathe, I imagine they're going to need a while to sort everything out.

Oh, dude. Count on it.

Up until now, there’s been no time to really process or think outside of basic strategy. The narrative is broken, in a sense, because (at least at the moment) the characters are a little broken. There will be a few more chapters of things being done - and in one instance, things being said - which cannot be taken back... no matter how much the characters might desperately want to.

And then, when the four of them are together at last, there will finally be genuine rest, re-balancing, and a little healing. Probably during an intermission.

Then we’ll start diving into people’s heads properly, I think. Including what direction our heroes really want to take this, and what options they will even have left by then.

For the record, Evade Bighorn = Dodge Ram. I enjoy those Bland Nake Products just a bit too much. :raritywink:

Ah, I was thinking the Taurus. I warned you I knew little about such things. :rainbowlaugh:

Good to see more of this. Fantastic cliffhanger. Eagerly looking forward to more.

It's baaaaaaack!

Nice to see it back, too, and am eagerly awaiting more!

Oh, Pinkie.
WHY didn't you listen to Twilight, girlfriend?
THIS ain't gonna end well.
For anyone.

This is definitely going to be rough. And there's still the possibility of lingering siren magic bringing out the wrong word at the exact wrong time. But Twilight and Shining have both made their decisions, and whatever happens going forward, it'll done be with all the terrible will that that family is capable of.

And we still don't know who hacked their way to contacting Twilight...

10543426 Very well put. Couldn't have put it any better myself.

And as to this:

And we still don't know who hacked their way to contacting Twilight...

could it be Sunset?
I don't remember if she's still around or not, and I'm too lazy atm to go back and read through the previous chapters and comments.

EDIT: Okay, after reading back through the comments, and reading THIS

And that includes (among other things) some old wounds between Twi and Sunny.

, I think I answered my own earlier question.

Wow. You actually redeemed the concept of Anon-a-Miss. I'm truly impressed.

As for the second interlude, this is one of the best Igneouses I've ever seen. The bit with the paint was pure gold. Here's hoping he helps Pinkie heal.

Hmm, good to see Swertie Belle is still active.

Dawww a wholesome breather chapter there.

So, this is the current setup as far as I see:

Twilight was our player, and was in a coma for about 3 years

Sunsets MIA, though the comments suspect she's the hack that helped Twilight

Applejack is MIA, I believe?

Rainbow and Pinkie were broken out

And Fluttershy and Rarity themselves are MIA

My question is who tried to kill Twilight, because it would be a good arc where Twilight doesn't trust the girls (Much) because they turned into cold-blooded killers and one of them tried to kill her, so there would be this rift between the 7 of them

*nods* The only changes I would make to your assessment thus far is that Applejack is dead, and Rarity is not so much ‘MIA’ as ‘will be revealed shortly.’

As for trust, trust is going to be... complicated. Twi knows she can trust at least some of the 7, or at least she knows she can trust their intentions. Other Rainbooms (current and former), perhaps less so.

But at the same time, it’s hard to trust someone’s judgement when they’ve gone through the kind of transformation they all went through... and for Twilight and Pinkie (at the very least), that includes themselves, as well. So, for the cast introduced thus far (Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Apple Bloom), there’s not so much a rift as an acknowledged struggle.

Of course, as you point out, some of the old 7 haven’t been seen yet...

And who did try to kill Twilight? Well, that is the question, isn’t it? There are suspicions among the surviving Rainbooms, and they will be addressed in later chapters...

Wait, when did it say Applejack was dead?

Also, this story that I wrote, it's based in your universe of Saints Row. Can you really quickly check it to make sure I didn't end up accidentally guess part of your story? I kinda made up a part of the story when writing it, and I dunno if they're true or not

It was never said in so many words, but it is implied very heavily in the first chapter when Apple Bloom and Twilight are first talking. All the Apples are gone, at least all the Canterlot Apples, save for Apple Bloom.

And no, you didn’t accidentally create any massive spoilers. I also said as much in the comments section of your own story, in case any of your readers got concerned. There may or may not be some similarities, but I’m not going to confirm either way for now. :raritywink:

Got it, thank you!

Can't wait for the next chapter of your story! :twilightsmile:

Big oofs in this story...I have a gut feeling that the "Plutocracy/Technocracy/Oligarchy/etc." choosing the name Carousel is significant. I desperately hope I am wrong.

I hope you come back to this story.

I will come back to it. I've just had to allocate my RL spoons much more carefully than I would like the last few years. I'm hoping to wrap up a few things in the Sunset Rising timeline, and then focus more on this one for a while.

No worries, take your time. I know my muse is something that can't be ordered around for certes.

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