• Member Since 8th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Anonomis


T
Source

This is a 2-in-1 featuring Twilight and Sunset. The first six chapters are about Twilight's life while the remaining feature Sunset. The pair of interludes provide secondary information about events in the story.
Characters include:
Twilight Sparkle
Princess Luna
Sunset Shimmer
Mane-Six
Humane Seven (NO Sci-Twi)
Vinyl Scratch (both Equestria Girls & original)
Bat ponies (Thestrals)
Star Swirl the Bearded
There are references to the Batman Vampire comics and the Cirque du Freak book series by Darren Shan.

Credit goes to Vector-Brony

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 14 )

I must say I thought enjoyed this story
Congratulations on a story well done
Do I have any complaints..... yes but as a author myself I know that it was a tough decision to follow the path that you did so congratulations

I still want more though

9255410
Thank you very much. I may leave this alone for now and add something more in the future. Right now; I spent three months writing this and don't really have any idea on what to do next.

9255556
Don't worry you did a wonderful Jon my friend, a good story always leaves the reader wanting more.

“Asmodeus. Yes, Luna did send me to watch over you. I know what she did was wrong; but try to see it from her perspective,” he replied

Fuck you Asmodeus, fuck your fake steam messages.

While the general premise of the story is interesting and there are no or very few errors, the whole story - at least as far as I read it - feels off.
Its far to fast paced and gives almost no description of the scenes. That and how everyone acts makes everything feel cold - there is no emotion. One moment Luna is a cold killer then she spares Twilight light a switch is turned in her head - without elaborating what goes on in her head. No crying for the death of Twilight's family, not even by herself. Also Twilight's behavior does seem too mature for 5 years old.

I'd have loved a story about Twilight as a vampire, there are only few out there that are completed and many rub the wrong way. But with this fast a pace, no context, almost no descriptions and no emotions, this story is not for me. I live for the emotions. Otherwise it would have been well written. I'll refrain from giving a negative or positive vote.

Okay, I don't exactly understand how her friends simply ignoring her warrants blood being spilled. They agreed that they would give her space, but they never mentioned they would go spoiling the secret to every single individual. Twilight also could've, I dunno, talked to them to find out why they've been avoiding her instead of doing absolutely nothing, according to the text.

I think Luna and Twilight were being more paranoid than cautious, and the act to silence them was pretty unnecessary. This kinda dampens my experience of this story.

This just got spooky-

*you gained a like*

9872925
Thank you for the compliment

10670121
The movie was a little inspiration for the story.

what a great story with vampony Luna and soon to be twilight, very interesting

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