Sunset Shimmer opened the doors of Sugarcube Corner. Right there, were her friends glaring at her with disgust. Sunset opened her mouth to speak but Rainbow Dash got up from her seat with cold eyes.
"Hey! Get out!" she snapped at her.
"Yer not welcome here, Sunset!" Applejack added.
"No! Please!" said Sunset, she pulled out her journal from her backpack and flipped to the page where she had the conversation with Princess Twilight Sparkle, "Look, guys, I know you don't trust me, but I been talking with Princess Twilight and her-"
Rainbow Dash shoved her down to the ground.
"You lied to her too?! Like to us! Bullshit, we're tired of this!"
Sunset shot back for a moment, but she picked herself back up and proceed to approach the girls. She placed the book on the table.
"Just look at this," she said calmly, "Twilight reminded me that you are more than my friends; you're my family. Just ask yourselves, 'Would Sunset Shimmer, the Sunset Shimmer you know, do something like this?"
Her friends listened to her but refused to look at the book.
"Yes!" said Rainbow, "you would do something like this, and I have a perfect reason: you were manipulating people so you can gain their trust. Just stop trying to prove yourself innocent! You're still the bad person that you are!"
The others agreed.
That statement brought tears in Sunset's eyes. She couldn't believe that her friends saw the bad Sunset again. She had to try to open their eyes. At least one of them would believe her.
"Applejack!" she said with desperation, "You've got to believe me! Remember the times I'd help you at Sweet Apple Acres. Or-"
"Shut yer lyin' little trap ya call a mouth!" AJ snapped, "Don't make this any worse for yourself than it already is!"
Sunset stood back in shock, Rarity could listen. she's a good listener!
"Rarity! Remember all the dresses you made for me. Or what about the time I helped you after you'd spilled soda over your dress?"
"Hmm! That was before I knew you were planning to humiliate us! I'd even made an outfit for you for Christmas, but that was just a waste of time and material. You are not using our trust anymore."
Fresh tears flowed out of Sunset's eyes, making her vision blurred. Maybe Rainbow would give a listen.
"Dash, how about the times I'd show up at your games and cheer for you! I-"
"You mean pretend to cheer! You can't take advantage of us any longer, Sunslut Slutter."
Sunset began to cry as she tasted defeat, there were Fluttershy and Pinkie left.
"Pinkie, remember the times I'd have fun at your parties; those were the best of my life!"
"Well maybe you were just pretending to have fun so I'd trust you easier, but it's not anymore you big meanie!"
Sunset began to lose hope. Maybe Fluttershy would listen; they spend the most time together and closer friends. It was worth a shot, but it seemed like her only option.
"F-Fluttershy," she began, "you have to believe me. We're much more closely than the other girls. After the Fall Formal, you've been nothing but kind to me, and I'd help you out at the animal shelter sometimes. I-"
"How dare you threaten Fluttershy!" snarled Rainbow, taking a dangerous step forward.
"Rainbow, please," said Fluttershy, as she approached Sunset. Sunset thought that Fluttershy believed her, but when she saw the expression on her face it was the opposite.
"Sunset," Fluttershy stated, "all you said was true, but you've been so cruel to me since we met. But after the Fall Formal, I thought that you changed. Fuck! I started to love you. But then you decide to go back to your old ways and bully me again. Seriously! You'd just took out my heart and smashed it to a million pieces. I really, really, really, wish Anon-a-Miss wasn't you, but there's no one else to blame. Forgive me, but I hate you."
Fluttershy broke down to a fountain of tears as Sunset did the same.
"Stop cryin', Sunset," sighed Applejack disgusted as she face-palmed, "just stop. Yer the only culprit. You are the only person who knew mah nickname. Yer the only person who took those photos at the sleepover, on yer phone. There's no one else. Please, for yer own sake, just get outta here and never come back."
Sunset suddenly erupted in rage.
"What the fuck!" she shouted, "I tried to prove that I've changed after the Fall Formal. I HAD TO FIXED THE SCHOOL ENTRANCE MYSELF! AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, I'VE GOTTEN DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THAT YEAR! I'VE DONATED FOOD AND WHAT LITTLE MONEY I HAD AND EVEN HELPED TEACHERS AFTER SCHOOL IF THEY NEEDED SOMETHING! AND I'VE TRIED EVEN HARDER WHEN THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS CAME UP! AND THERE, I'VE HELPED YOU GUYS AND TWILIGHT FROM GETTING KILLED BY THE SIRENS! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SUDDENLY GIVE THAT AWAY! AND FOR WHAT REASON!"
Suddenly Rainbow threw a napkin holder at Sunset which nearly missed her.
"This is you're last chance to leave here unharmed, bitch. And I won't miss this time!!"
"We're too smart for your tricks Sunset,'" sneered Rarity, "just leave us alone."
"YEA!" said the other Rainbooms.
Sunset lost the remaining hope she had. With her head hung low, she walked out of the cafe, hearing her former friends yelling at her.
"Git outta our lives, ya good for nothin' liar."
"Good riddance, everyone will do so much better without you Sunset."
"I hope I never see you again she-demon!"
"Go back to where you came from secret-stealer."
"You're not our friend!"
Sunset didn't care anymore, she just continued to walk to her apartment. Then she walked into Apple Bloom, Applejack's younger sister. She had just seen everything that happened.
"Sunset are you-"
"Leave me alone..."
Alone. That's all Sunset wants right now.
Apple Bloom on the other hand seen enough. She went on her MyStable account and typed down:
'Emergency CMC meeting! Meet me in the barn in 20 minutes'
When she reached her apartment, Sunset walked inside, forgetting to close the door. She didn't care, what was on her mind was the things her friends said to her. How? How could they say they were her friends when they just turned their backs on her so quickly. It broke her heart knowing this, but she had to face it. She didn't redeem herself, she never did.
She went to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife she had. Then she walked to the bathroom and filled up the tub with water. She stripped off her clothes and sat in the cold water. Then she stared at the knife, debating if she should really do this.
We trusted you Sunset, we thought you were our friend.
How could you do this, after all, we been through together?
You secret-stealer!
You're not our friend!
I'm sorry, but you did this to us. Tell us whatever secrets ya want, but we don't have to listen.
Teardrops dripped from Sunset's face as she slit her left wrist. Drops of blood coloured the water as she continued. Suddenly, Sunset began to sob and cry violently as she stabbed the knife in one of her blood vessels, and slashed the knife across her arm, damaging more of her veins and arteries. She was beginning to lose oxygen as the water became a deeper shade of red.
"I'm sorry Princess Twilight," she said weakly, "I failed you."
Those were the last words that ever came out of her mouth...
Then she was gone.
This is a dramatic improvement. I'll track this.
Ok this was a lot better, I like how Sunset blew up at them trying to reason with them, she just yelled or screamed at them, and the ending makes a lot more sense and is more dramatic. and hits harder.
Good job.
Fluttershy's confession of love really makes it more tragic as well, and big fan of that pairing.
Only mistake you made was . I really, really, really, was Anon-a-Miss wasn't you; but there's no one else to blame. Forgive me, but I hate you."
think you meant Wish not was?
9337889
Indeed.
nice improvement
Okay, this is much better than the original. Sunset's method of suicide is much more realistic and the Rainbooms reactions to her last attempt at "manipulating" them is much more like them (especially when you remember that they're human teenagers and not the ponies we know and love).
I have only one request for this fic: do not have the Rainbooms celebrate when they find out Sunset committed suicide over this like in the previous version. If anything, they'd be shell shocked that Sunset would kill herself over something she started before Princess Twilight shoves down their throats the fact that she never was Anon-A-Miss and that it's mostly their fault she's dead because they focused too much on the person she used to be when they accused her in the first place.
good luck with this i enjoyed your old one but hopefully this one works better for more people
This one is off to a way better start! I am looking forward to future chapters! Just dont have the girls or the audience celebrating sunset’s death. Also just a question would it be considered to have Princess Celestia visit the human world at some point along wih Twilight?
Small typo here
From getting killed
9337889
Sorry, auto-correct
Much better! Please keep going!
9338040
much better. u mean
So... Is this story based off of the novel/film A Wrinkle in Time?
9338098
movie
9337993
or being killed
...I feel like the premise might be the problem...
9338375
Here is the original, for comparison:
- MLP: FiM
- Equestria Girls
- MLP: Comic
- Adventure
- Drama
- Sad
After Sunset committed suicide due to Anon-a-Miss, her friends along with Crystal Rose travel the universe to find her lost soul.9338375
Yeah, I've been just wondering how the author wanted to fix OOC if the original Anon-a-Miss comic was OOC to begin with. Making them in-character would mean there'd be no story.
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I don't think that would have been a bad thing.
9338884
Touche.
An improved beginning from the original.
However, you should fix these two slip-ups.
Really wished Anon-a-miss wasn't you
when the battle of the bands I helped you guys and Twilight from getting killed by the sirens
Hope to read more chapters soon.
9338884
Your not wrong
I like where it's going. You have a good story upon your hands.
roast weed every day
They know nothing about friendship.
IM SO DISSAPOINTED
Why do people keep writing this mess?
It's like everyone has just completely forgotten...
01. Sunset's too strong for this. She would never giver up, and kill herself. She would give up, and start back on kicking their asses.
02. She would just go back to Equestria.
03. Anon-a-Miss is not actually a canon thing. It's from the IDW comic. And those aren't really considered canon continuity.
11453444
01. I was 14.
02. I really like A Wrinkle in Time.
03. My writing has gotten a lot better and there's a really wholesome lesson ahead.