• Member Since 27th Apr, 2021
  • offline last seen Jan 23rd, 2022

Nasic the Amazon


T

Austin Bradly is a troubled 17-year-old kid who gave up on a life that's taking everything away from him. One day he found something, a purpose. A purpose that leads him into a different dimension where things start to go wrong. Where is he? How did he get there? Can he get back? But most importantly, Does he want to go back?

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 21 )

Pretty decent premise. It kicks in around chapter 2 or so. You definitely need a proof reader, though! Keep it up!

This is dark, but I'm looking forward to seeing the light shining in darkness.

Hello everyone, I know my story isn't very "Well Written" and I'm sorry. I'm Mexican, so writing in English is kind of a struggle for me. A lot of you have told me you like my story though, so I'm gonna publish everything I have written so far and see how people react to it.
If it's liked, I'll continue with it (I have about 100 or so chapters worth of content to finish the whole story).
Some people said some stuff to me in private that hurt my feelings but that's how criticism goes.

Hope you all enjoy the story!

I like your fic so far. In fact, the best stories I've encountered so far are written by ESL writers. I've noticed ESL writers double-check on their English grammar and the quality improves as a result compared to native English writers who don't have to worry as much about their words.

10974097
I see, I really should double-check my earlier chapters, later chapters have fewer mistakes in grammar.
A reader told me that he didn't like the way I spaced my "Paragraphs" (Which is completely understandable), but I find that if I separate them, they are easier to read and easier to understand the character's actions, at least for me.

Thank you for reading my story!

I'm having a lot of fun doing this and I wanna continue!

Tienes toda mi atención :moustache:

oh no!

Great story, can't wait for more!

“This world is completely different, which means I can't depend on it following the original timeline. That means that I have to find out if Twilight has started her research on magic and see if I could use it to find a way back home… I can't live like this…” Austin thinks while walking along school hallways.

:facehoof: And I hoped this kind of idiocy won't crawl to surface. Seriously, why would he even want to considering the absolute crap his previous life was. No, let's forget about this. Let's say local Twi discovered magic. How he plans to return home with it? He clearly can think logically, right? Would he ask it nicely and hope it will listen or what? Because otherwise he have to spend years studying how to use it and preferably with OTHER Twilight and Sunset. And Starlight. And fail anyway. And what will be the point to return at that point?

It would make sense to try to find out what happened to original owner of the body, but just outright "I have to return home"... ugh.

To be honest it's just an overused trope and I probably biased. No, seriously, why would you ever want to leave the world of shimmer and sparkles except to visit the other side?

That answered the last of his questions. To be fair, those were only 3 but it confirmed multiple things. Twilight hadn't started her research into magic yet which means the first energy anomaly hasn't happened, which also means that the fall formal is still yet to start, which ALSO means that Princess Twilight would soon come to this world.

:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof: Oh, ok, he isn't acquainted with logic after all. Silly me to assume people are smarter than they are.

Of course Twilight doesn't believe in magic. She just told everting have scientific explanation. So, in case she already discovered new kind of energy the very last thing for her would be to label it "magic". Magic is something we don't know and can't explain. Something that defies every possible explanation and theory, something we can't research or measure and remains a mystery. Magic is what you get when you take away science like darkness is lack of light. As soon as you learn how something works it's no longer magic but science. So, assuming Twi would find an unknown energy and just label it as magic is beyond absurd, so asking her does she believe in magic is pointless at best. She'll research it exactly because she doesn't believe in it!

Have to admit that this question lead to the most romantic pickup line possible in those circumstances. That was beautiful.

10986454
Hello, thank you for taking the time to read my story and I hope you are enjoying it. I just wanted to answer a few of the questions you brought up.

I wanna address the point about Austin going back home. Austin's life has been HORRIBLE, absolutely terrible. To the actual point of suicide, but as he lived through his life he gained an understanding of who he was and what he needed to do. He thinks that his life means nothing, and because of this, he dedicates himself to serving other people who (in his eyes) are superior to him. His ideology, the fear of the unknown, and the shock of waking up in a new body made him want to go back to his original one in his original world, but this changes later on in the story as he feels guilty for altering the timeline. In this world, there isn't a guaranteed happy ending and this makes him want to make up for his slip-ups. (There are a lot of character moments in the following chapters that answer some of your questions too). I didn't mean to use this as a trope but as a reason to FIND the Twilight from Equestria up until he messes with the timeline and changes his motivation.

Again, Austin thinks the only people who could know a way for him to get back home are Twilight and Sunset. The answer to "how" difficult it is to get him back home will be answered later on in the story in due time.

I also want to talk about the Twilight thing. His questions were never to see if Twilight from Crystal Prep could help him (Austin knows she could not have, even if she knew magic existed), he needed to be completely sure where in the timeline he was and he thought that with these questions he would be able to accurately know when and where he was. He could have easily asked: "Have you experienced any natural phenomenon around the town recently?" but that could bring a little suspicion to his questions (Remember, Twilight was being questioned for an Astrophysics paper). Austin was afraid of people learning that he was on another person's body and Twilight (Who was the closes person to being Jake's friend) was one of the only people who COULD figure it out. Using the word magic was more of a failsafe if Twilight started asking him questions because he could shake it off as an "I'm just kidding" kinda thing. The story itself even acknowledged how stupid the question was, especially after Twilight already said she lives and dies by science. I didn't write Austin's intent because that's something I wanted the reader to infer.

This last question will also be important later on in the story concerning Twilight and her character arc. Believe me, she is not gonna be the same Twilight she was in the movies. It's gonna be much more interesting.

Most of your comments get tackled later on in the story. I wish I could tell you and respond to everything you said, but it would be a spoiler.

I hope I answered some of your questions and I hope you enjoy later chapters in the story!

Well, I personally like that Austin didn't went with overused and incredibly annoying trope of "I absolutely must not alter the timeline" and hide under the rock only to find out he already is in an altered timeline. Even though he doubts his actions and attempts to put back on tracks what he already altered.

Aww, why do I always pick up unfinished stories and then have no other choice but to wait? Is this some kind of literary masochism?

10986938
hahahaha Yeah, that's how it sometimes goes. Have you enjoyed the story so far? Did you like the sketch pictures in chapter 13? My plan is to continue implementing them from now on, but I wanted to ask if readers like them.

10986945
I like the story and the intrigue of things being different. Having illustrations is a neat idea, but to be honest faces look unsettling for some reason. They clearly end up in the uncanny valley... at least from my point of view. Angry Sunset looks great, though. Well, can't improve without trying. Don't stop.

10986555
My main problem with his question regarding magic is that it doesn't answer anything. The point in EQG where SciTwi starts to believe in magic is during Friendship Games and she never returns to CPA after that. Even then she'd likely be rather reluctant to tell "yes" for multiple different reasons. I'm not even sure if there is anything he could ask her to figure out his position on the timeline at all besides the fact that she is at CPA, so Friendship Games haven't happened yet. Not that he shouldn't have asked her that question. It just doesn't answer anything.

But before he could identify it, the figure moved towards the entrance of the school. Austin wasn't sure what it was, but his body was acting as if it was… “Dangerous”.

Lol I was literally listening to this song at the moment I read it.

Hello everyone, this time around I introduced images alongside text so that it can be more engaging. Please tell me what you think, if it gets positive opinions I might put 1-minute sketch drawings like these in the rest of the chapters that are gonna follow this one.

Yes yes yes yes… YES

Haven’t seen the timeline changed with a “small” change, only seen preserving the timeline until chapter 10-30.

loved it, cant wait for more!

when is the sequel?

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