• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Pen Stroke

A fan-fiction author and game programmer that lives in Glendale, CA.


This story is a sequel to Glimpses

It was supposed to be a simple day for Shining Armor. Take his daughter, Flurry Heart, and niece, Nyx, out to run some errands while his sister and wife handle preparations surrounding the Festival of Friendship. It was supposed to be a day of fun, relaxing activity. Yet, after the arrival of an invading army, the day would be anything but pleasant.

Can Shining rally the defenders of Canterlot to oppose Commander Tempest, if only to ensure he, Flurry Heart, and Nyx can escape? Or are they doomed to be captured and possibly turned to stone? 

No matter what happens, it’s a day neither Shining Armor nor Tempest Shadow will ever forget.

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
Illustrious Q, Level Dasher, & El Oso,

Written for the Valentines 2020 Follower Appreciation Lottory Winner - Brony Writer

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 41 )

Really nice! I'm glad we got more Nyx ^^

Very nicely done as always, Pen!

This was a great way to expand what happened in the movie and bring it into you own universe. And I think this really matches Tempest’s personality. A great story as always :twilightsmile:

Clowns. It's those darned clowns again. What will it take for Equestria to rise above their greasepaint and floppy shoes!

Any day with Nyx Sparkle putting in an appearance is a day worth waking up for. :twilightsmile:

It has been 4 bleeding years! I am hype for the return.

Also, Nyx at the School of Friendship - Think about it ;-)

Heh, certainly a good addition to the movie.

Better then the movie but jeeeze, does that ship even LOOK like a clown ship?

It is very nice to see you coming back with another Nyx story! I’ve been writing my own to cover the absence of more Nyx material, and having a new one today is wonderful!
The writing here is pretty good. I still see some awkward phrasing here and there, but the prose has improved. My only real complaint is that Nyx does not do that much here. Perhaps you could have had her defeat a satyr on her own?
I like how by this point every-pony knows who Nyx is, but they treat her like a normal filly who happens to be an alicorn. I would like to find out how that shift happened.
And I liked how we see Nyx as a teen, getting combat training from Tempest! That should prove interesting.
Nice to have you back! I look forward to more Nyx stories!

It was good to see Nyx again.

Good to see a new Nyx story from the original creator! I mentioned a scene where Nyx was captured by the Storm King in my story of her. Did that give you the idea to make this story taking place in the movie? And I have to agree we should have seen Shining Armor doing something. It left out a lot of characters.

Dan #15 · March 13th · · 2 ·

Is Gallus gonna show up as a training buddy?

I honestly don't like Nyx. She seems like a character that's convoluted on her existence/the fact that she's not evil or she is. That being said I'm willing to set aside my dislike for this character for some nice... fluff? Yeah I'd consider this fluff even though there's combat. I think it's also because I've been easing myself up to fluff and slice of life stuff.

Anyway have a like.

Great story, manages to fit into the Past Sins Universe with out having to rewrite the Movie. Also shows how having a competent Commander in Canterlot would have made the battle less of a freaking curb stomp! And makes Equestrian forces look less pathetic by giving a logical explanation of "Fall Back to the Crystal Empire".

ok nice to see more nix but can you please tag this and the rest as nightmare moon stories just for us to not forget that nix is just a clone of NM

Well, she's not really a clone. She's a different being that was born of Nightmare Moon's remnants. She has NMM's essence within her, but she's not the same character.

Mmmyes.... Something of a bit of reincarnation, much like Uub is of Buu.

And in O&O, there is a tried and true tactic when you face something you aren’t prepared to defeat.”

“And what’s that?” Tempest asked

For a moment, I thought Shining was going to roll to seduce Tempest. :derpytongue2:

When was Nyx an Alicorn again? She was supposed to be a normal unicorn after the end of Past Sins.

Nyx never quit being an alicorn. She lost most of her magic when she changed back into a foal as part of her punishment. The story states that her magic level is parallel with that of a normal if not gifted unicorn filly, not that she became a unicorn. Since Past Sins, her magic level has increased in each story, to the point that she can dream walk like Princess Luna.
I wonder how her magic compares with alicorn Cozy Glow in the series finale?

A brilliant reimagining of the world as it was in the movie, I love Mlp, and I know first and foremost that it is a kids show, but I am completely comfortable admitting that there are numerous things that could have been done better. That being said, let me make it clear that I am not suggesting that I know better nor that I could have done a better job than the teams of talented writers, artists, etc. One thing is that the guards are at best semi-competent if rather jumped up security guards and at worst total tools who probably wouldn't know the difference between a sword and a saddlebag , same thing with the wonerbolts for that matter.

Another excellent edition to the universe.

Considering they stole that ship from the clowns, yes. Very much so.


“Clowns, Sir,” Swift Sword reported. “Pinkie Pie had gotten pre-approval for a group of clowns to arrive via airship to be part of the festivities. The initial airship came in under that approval using stolen credentials. The lead airship released a smokescreen behind it, allowing the other airships to approach Canterlot without being detected.”

Okay fine, they stole the credentials. I just find stealing an airship a lot cooler, okay?

except it's clearly a storm airship

One could think that the clowns were mocking the Storm King, a Storm King’s ship is full of clowns.
Metaphorically, they’re all morons, literally, that’s a great joke. Either way, they had the proper credentials and nobody knew what the airship would specifically look like.

or as usual the Royal Guard is incompentant

Okay, I want you to predict how Pinkie Pie would act. She is supposed to know everything since she can break the 4th wall, so how come she can’t see the negative consequences of her actions?

Edit: I guess that means Pinkie Pie is incompetent.

Because she is clueless at times. She made know the truth but the meanign goes over her head.

“The hostiles Storm king who wishes to conquer the world stole credentials to hide his army.” The one time Pinkie Sense needs to go off, it doesn’t. It’s not the guard’s fault, considering how we never heard anything about every villain until their arrival, and then nothing again unless they returned, except Storm King and Chrysalis. Chrysalis returned twice. She was Ocellus’ worst nightmare. Just as Storm King was the Hippogriff’s. That’s the only time they were mentioned outside of their appearance.

Great Story, i realy like past sins and the sequels and sidestorys, this could be a Start of a New storyline (Nyx as teenager/ young aduld)

“Where are the young alicorns?” Tempest demanded as she charged Shining Armor again. Her hooves, clad in anti-magical guards, sparked as they hit his barrier, threatening to short circuit the magic.

“I’m not going to let you anywhere near them,” Shining spat as she changed his tactics, shooting out a few blasts of magic and forcing Tempest to retreat before reforming his personal barrier.

Why couldn't we see this Shining Armor in the movie? A badass hero who protects his children from danger.

I personally would be down for something like this.

Hi there
I've just read this interesting and exciting work.
And I'm just wondering if I can get your authorization to translate this to another language (Chinese)...
And if I could, I will definitely give credit to you and post the original link
and give an link to the translation (if you want...)
Can I get your permission ?

Y'know, the whole stolen credentials trick shouldn't have worked because everyone knows that Clown airships are really tiny....!

Anyway, great catching up with Nyx again!

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