• Member Since 18th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 50 minutes ago

B_25


the HO BOAH boy (Commission Info)

T

Cupid's arrow makes ponies fall in love? No problem! Twilight Sparkle makes a love potion with the same result? Oh, hello moral ambiguity! Things only got worse when Rainbow drank the potion... then gazed at me... smiling... oh no...


This story is dedicated to the runt, the grunt, the unt missing a 'c', An Intricate Disguise!

TwiDash by nn.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 20 )

So, I once had to stop reading a story because of how underhanded tactics led to a marriage while one side was under the influence of alcohol and a drug. Thus, it says quite a lot that I actually enjoyed this. It's not a perfect romance, and I feel like they'll have some problems down the line, but overall I'm left with the impression that this is probably going to work out.

You walked a fine line and came out in the clear. I respect that. Well done.

That was adorable, oh my gosh!

nice story. love potion∑(゚ω゚

This reminds me of another fimfiction. But I don't remember the name. Something like "A note from a secret Admirer?" I don't know. I'll have to check it out. But this reminds me of it. Really good. Keep it up.

9328208
Found it. it's "Letters from a secret admirer."

At least for one of us.

Oi, what's that supposed to mean :trixieshiftleft:

Great and cute story

“Kissing? Really!?” I tried to glare down at her but only felt my chin rub against her man. “That's on the list of 'uncool' words that you made up! You're going to tell me that's not the fault of some potion? The real Rainbow Dash isn't like this!”

"Mane", not "man".

“Sorry Twi, but controlling is kinda in your nature.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “It's a good thing! We wouldn't have gotten out of a few sticky situations without it.” She exhaled. “But I can bring up some examples if ya like or, you know, how you made a love position. ”

“Don't think.” With my heart pounding and cooling at its worst, Rainbow was up on me again and, this time, I made no struggled to fight me.

Change the last "me" to "her".

Is "position" supposed to be "potion"?

“I like you, Rainbow,” I said without winking, feeling the tension leave my body. “I've liked you for a long time now, but I...”

Change "winking" to "thinking".

She let her eyes come closed while her muzzle came closer. to my own.

Extra period needs removal.

I sighed. Sitting up, I let my horn charge with magic, and in a flash, I had a flash floating in my aura.

"Flash" to "flask".

Despite the grammar that were mentioned or not, this story was funny and cute to read.

how you made a love position.

Position, or potion?

“If Fluttershy hadn't kicked me into gear, who knows what would have happened?”

...Twilight and Spike do. Several different things would've happened, all of them awful.

While we waited for it to come, we ended up putting independents away

You put what away? "Independents"? That makes no sense.

but other than, having Rainbow

Missing a word: "other than that".

I think you're a pink fluffy beast

"Pink"? Yeah, no, she's clearly purple.

Aside from numerous typoes or grammar errors, many of which were already pointed out by other commenters, I found this to be a very fluffy and adorable story. Almost threw me for a very bad loop when Rainbow announced it was a prank in the end, but the justification and reasoning behind it made enough sense to dodge that bullet.

B_25 #12 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

9328866 9329212

Made the edits. Much appreciated, lads.

Awesome love fluff story good job.

The flank slipped out from her lips

I guess it should be flask.

Otherwise, a great story with an absolutely fantastic ending! Thumbs up from me.

9332337
Thank you for the save and kind words.

Well that was beautiful

Exactly why is this an alternate universe

9346309
Because there was already an episode with a love potion. I didn't watch it. AU was to cover my tracks.

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