Damn, this Stella creature sounds hot. She single?

9994738
Only if you want her to be.

Oh boy a new chapter!
*Notices the story has been marked as completed*
Oh no.

But seriously I loved this story and wanted to say I am glad it ended up wrapped up and was a great ride. Thanks

It's been a rocky ride with plenty of twists and turns, and I know not everyone was happy with the journey to this point, but I hope for those who had the gall to last this long that you've enjoyed it.

I might post a blog when I have some time free that would essentially be like a Director's Commentary, chapter by chapter, where I'd talk about what I was thinking when and where I think I could've done better. Who knows? Maybe I'd pick out some aspects a few of you never noticed, or you could pick out some things I never realised I was doing myself.

In any case, I hope I've done this story justice, and helped spread some love around.

This was really good. Thank you for writing it. Hope you write some other stories soonish.

Hnng, my heart...
Honestly, this may be one of my favorite romances I've read on this site. The characters had a very unique feel to them, and never seemed overtly predictable either.
There was a sense of realism I wasn't expecting, as well as some adorably awkward moments as they slowly discovered how to truly love each other. My past experiences with love had definitely included plenty of awkward moments, and that just served to fuel the value of their connection.
Bravo Freglz, masterfully done I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens in your next story.

My god, this is truly one of the best fanfics/stories I've ever read, everything from the sappy love story that I didn't think I would like, the characters though some get more love then others, are absolutely great from philip to the guards, the setting is done so perfectly and feels... I guess refined. You are a great writer dude can't wait to see more of your work!.

Personally my favorite character was brave. Though Philip is a close second and may their ship live on!!!

You can't just hurt my heart and delicate sensibilities and then just end the story. It was too good. Well done and well written you pretty decent author you.

**<>* Best Side-pony romance fic. 11/10

Its...it's over. I'm not crying you are...

There was just so many emotions here. I'm happy that it ended so well but sad to see it done with as well. Very well done!

Ya did good, boy. Ya did good.

It was an honor and privilege to help edit and pre-read this story. NOW FOR THE NEXT!

I've never been good at compliments, so just know that I read thousands of words of a story about a Wonderbolt and a displaced deadbeat get romanced and I enjoyed it. Good job

This story will leave its mark in my inner sanctum of "Great stories that I will remember forever".

Well, that was a ride from start to finish. Brave is still top shipping QT, but that Stella character sounds interesting. Excellent story, Freglz. The story had to end sometime, but that wholesome cute loving was top quality unf material. Fleetybae a QT.

I’ve been postponing finishing this because I didn’t want it to end. In the end my desire to know won out and though I am sad to see it go this had a wonderful and heartfelt ending that left me satisfied.

Thank you for writing this and bringing us along for the journey.

I just started a day or so ago and am on the chapter the night i remember too well.
I thought only whatmustido and somber wrote individual chapters this long.
Im taking a short break in any case. Its time for house work and christmas.

HNNNNNNNNGGGG

*ded*

This is too freaking cute for mortal eyes!

It was great getting to know how Philip and Fleetybee got together. Their personalities and development played out very well. I was at the edge of my seat at times despite knowing how things turn out. Well done Freglz, well done.

Awesome story. What great character building and romance. I wish all human in Equestria stories were like this.

Okay, this is one of the best pieces I've ever read on the site and certainly the best romance. Not only are the characters fleshed out well but you take such time to not only build up to their eventual relationship but you also give an in-depth exploration into something most HumanxPony writers don't: the human's feelings on courting a pony. It feels so realistic and that makes their relationship that much more genuine. Five out of five stars, buddy! Keep up the good work!

I absolutely love this story! I just found it by luck and I am so glad I did! Bravo!

This story was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for writing it. Your effort and skill really comes through in this work, as soon as I began I was compelled to finish. Fleetfoot's characterisation was one of the best in depth explorations I've ever read for any character. I'm sure it would be a lot of work, but if you're ever pondering a sequel, bonus chapters or just an epilogue, I'm sure I speak for a lot of people in saying I'd love to read it.

10311250
That's what I said, but with far fewer words.

Review
Have a review.
*pat pat*

I cock an eyebrow
cocking my head and raising an eyebrow

For the record, you non-sexually used the word 'cock' in this fic 71 times. Yes, I counted.

And now my final thoughts:

Mechanically, reading a story in the present tense was a little bit of a hurdle for me. Reading it in the first person narrative is normally okay. The main character being the opposite gender isn't normally an issue. And honestly, a story written from the perspective of the mare interacting with a male human in a HiE fic is something I haven't seen before. So big kudos for doing something innovative!

I wasn't a big fan of the start, and then the subsequent flashback mechanic. I don't really think it served the story any better than having the chapters in chronological order. And knowing right from the first chapter that they (eventually) bang made the pacing of a slow-burn romance fic feel frustrating for me as a reader. (To say nothing of this being a sequel to Damage Control)

Philip's initial reaction to doing the deed felt a bit overly dramatic considering how long they had known each other, and the fact that she is a sapient being, and not just an animal.
When he said, "I fucked a horse!" it hurt to read that. I didn't have to read Fleet's reaction to know how she must have felt to hear that. It was a cutting remark. And hungover or not, it just felt really out of character considering all we had seen of him, and what he had experienced up to that point interacting with everyone.

At least Philip's xenophobic rationale was at least kind of understandable. Fleet's reaction level being similar felt... I don't know. Less genuine? Because it was based out of her having done it with a friend rather than because he was a different species. The rest of society being a bit more judgmental about her inter-species relationship would have made her father's reaction feel more realistic, rather than him seeming like a prejudiced dick. Everyone seemed a little too encouraging. Although, these are all sapient creatures, and this isn't a human dating a horse back on Earth. If they treated it like actual bestiality, would have been a very different story.

Short of Philip's bout of xenophobia, I think Fleetfoot's waffling back and forth about what she wanted was the most frustrating part. And I get that conveying her frustration onto the reader was an intentional goal. However, it was starting to get to the point where everyone in the fic (except for her parents) felt like the voice of the reader watching these two.

HOWEVER,

I find that whenever someone says the word 'but' in a sentence, it makes everything preceding 'but' unimportant. And I say this, to preface the following:
The above criticisms I have are just a few personal gripes, BUT when compared to the whole of the story, they are only minor imperfections. I critique to be even-handed with my praise. Because anyone who knows me, knows that I do not critique with malice, nor do I give out praise lightly. So I hope you appreciate the weight of my words when I say,

"I thoroughly enjoyed this tremendously good story." - Shakespearicles

I think you could have gotten away with a teen rating and simply danced around the explicit scenes with innuendo, but I'm glad you didn't. The slow burn made the erotic scene extremely gratifying to read. Not titillating. Not arousing. Emotionally gratifying to read. And as I said on the specific chapter, it was some of the best foreplay writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. (And I count my own works among that!) The subsequent sexual scenes weren't particularly exciting, but they were not meant to be. What they were meant to be, (and what you absolutely nailed) was the intimacy.

Now as for the ending...
It is said that stories live a die by their endings.

I will say this; the music embeds in the other chapters were a bit distracting most of the time, with maybe one or two exceptions. But the final one was perfect.
For a story of this size and pacing, an ending is hard to pull off. This arduously slow buildup with a couple jarring peaks of drama, runs the risk of the ending, any ending, feeling abrupt. But even without the chapter title giving it away, the 'end' of this story frames it as, quite literally, the start of something good. Stories live a die by their endings.

And this one was a grand slam!

Be proud of this story you have written, Freglz. I only regret not reading the whole thing sooner after helping edit so long ago.

Well...

This story is... a good number of firsts, for me, and considering I've been reading for 6-8 hours every day (and I'm not even kidding) for two years, that's saying something.

The first proper female lead in a HiE - an actual character, not papier-mâché. The first female lead in a HiE that didn't suck, and wasn't some form of a self-insert. The first story that focused almost entirely on the intimacy, and more than one form of intimacy at that.

Normally I'd call that a tall order, but you delivered... and then some.

The first time I've enjoyed awkwardness, too. That one was... very unexpected, to say the least. It felt familiar, for a change - I cringed, twisted, huffed... and read on, because it hurt in a good way. It was very relatable, and - much like for Fleetfoot - it forced me to inspect these weird conflicts inside of me, and accept them before I could move on with the story. These weren't profound by any stretch of the word, but they were consistent - tiny little spikes that I was suprised to find I enjoyed. It felt... liberating, in a sense, and I suppose now I can finally come out and say: I like this stuff. I like slow-burn romance like this, full of awkwardness, embarrasment, insecurity and fears.

That realisation was suprising for me a year ago, and I felt ashamed to some degree then. I'm glad to be rid of that toxin, finally - it was stomping on my ability to enjoy myself.

The only real issue I've had with the story, I already explained in another comment, so I'll spare everyone (you're welcome to go look for it, if you wish). And while this romance story was a bit on the idealised side (I envy those that can find this sort of conviction and not lose it along the way, somehow), it tackled hard problems in a mature way - and, in the end, that's the best you can ever hope for.

I'm happy to include it in my Hall of Fame. It's in the company of giants, there, but that's perfectly okay - because it's no midget itself. :-)

10616545
Ma kan. ;)

Top tier story!

Finally worked my way through this and it's absolutely fantastic!

This was an absolutely fantastic story from start to finish. Probably one of the best ones in this site

Top class writing here. Characters were well developed and interactions were all realistic, and thankfully without that sappy idealization romance stories always seem have. You know how to have fun and I could totally get down with that. Little details add up to make it believable, such as how even as Fleetybee becomes well acquainted with the touch of her humans hand, that initial awkwardness never quite disappears; or the fun interactions between Phillip, his bodyguards, and other long lost pals he finds in the Wonderbolts.

Though after all is said and done I couldn’t help but see this story as a tragic comedy masquerading as a romance. There’s all of these allusions to shady activities on the equestrian side; you know something is happening, but you don’t know what it is. The sleaziness of the princesses and their whole code of conduct makes this so-called perfect world seem awfully manufactured, turning the middle section kind of eerie, like something really bad is about to happen while Fleetfoot and Phillip have picnics under fake plastic trees. With all of these time skips and jumps, you can’t shake the feeling our lovebirds are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.

Philip himself gets dealt a pretty crappy hand from the get-go. They have him planted in this penthouse of a castle, isolated from this world, and as we figure out later on, his own. It turns out the princesses could send Mr Montero home all along, but they don’t want to risk revealing themselves. Their reasoning essentially boils down to ‘they’d like to come and meet us, but they think they’d blow our minds’. Its curious how in the span of a few short years Equestria becomes culturally and technologically downstream to humans, specifically of the American, hypocritical, war-mongering variety.

Going back to Mr Montero, dude is essentially a poor and unfortunate victim of systems beyond his control and you can’t help but give him a pass when he can’t decide between ‘missing his friends and family dearly’ and ‘home is where the hatred is’. Fleet is able to charm the guy into a happy relationship, keeping him from thinking about his life beyond the yellow brick road too often, and they end up pretty cute together, so I guess it all works out in the end..

The biggest tragedy of all though is that the author never dropped his playlist.