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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Really good start man. Keep it going.
For a first fic, it feels like it has good conversational flow. I'd like to see where this goes.
This has lots of potential, I'm excited to read more. :)
This is a solid start. It flows easily and I'm interested to see where it goes from here.
Not enough Moondancer fic out there, definitely following this.
This fic is already promising to be very interesting and sweet. Very good start.
After a promising start, I have subscribed to your
newsletterstory.I'm intrigued
Wow, dialogue is great! Very smooth and natural, and quite funny to boot. Pacing felt clean as well, great work over all.
I really like how this is going so far, I hope to see more of this.
Loving it so far. The banter between Moondancer and Minuette is fun and it's nice to have a Moondancer-centric story. Keep it up!
Good start, good start. I'll be tracking.
All the comments above summarize my thoughts as well.
Thank you everyone! I just wanted to try my hand at writing not really expecting this to garner much attention. I'm currently in the process of writing the second chapter which will be much more meatier than the first in terms of length. I can't really say when it will be done but I hope to have it out soon for you all!
"Hans! Where are you!? You were suppose to get the flammenwerfer!"
Meanwhile with Hans.
"Ziz book iz amazing!"
Off to a great start; will be following.
On an unrelated note is "homely" in how it is used here (and I've seen in other stories) a national or regional thing? Where I am, "homey" would mean quaint/small/cozy and a "homely" example would be having a face only a mother would love.
For being a first fic is extremly good! keep up the great work :D
More than eager to see the next chapter.
"What about that moldy sandwich?"
*sandwich starts hissing*
...
"That's Sammy, I tried to throw him out but he was making these huge bologna eyes at me and started whimpering, I couldn't throw poor Sammy out after that!"
*Sammy skitters under the couch and starts purring*
It seems really good so far, I'm looking forward to more!
Ok that picture is adorable
Damn good read. Love the back and forth between the girls.
Moondancer is adorable (in a mature way), and Minuette is still a little firecracker!
Great flow on the dialogue. Keep it real, mature, fun and sexy. Nerds are hot too! Just after a shower!
Very impressive first story! Your a natural in my eyes, I wish I could see writing through your perspective and pick your brain cause your word use is amazing! ;)
Is this porn?
Yay, a new chapter!
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No, this is Patrick
I wonder when the handyman comes into play
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Next chapter actually!
I think that this has earned a well deserved spot in my M-Rated Romance folder.
Nicely done
Wow that was sudden, really setting a tone early lol
Order up! Who had the filler with a side of clop, with a funny drink?!
Good chapter. Really setting the tone. Let's see what's next!
Nothing wrong with some pudge, Moonie. Just means more of you to love.
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Mature Fic, "Sex" Tag....naaaaaaah!
Yay, this is turning out really nice ^^
Sees an updates in my tracking: yas
Sees its this story: yasss
New chapter is 2.5 times as lon as last one: YASSSS
CLOP:
Really stoked for this story. Can't wait to read more.
Good stuff. Thank you author.
One note, elude not allude.
I'm loving the interactions. They're so comical, yet they still flow realistically.
I eagerly await more, and thank you for this chapter :).
wait, ain't cows fully sapient in ponyland? that's a horrible insult!
Thanks for the update!
Amending Fences is still in my top 5 episodes. Words can't describe how much I empathize and relate to Moon-chan. She really deserves a nice coltfriend who takes her on a Mio Kisaragi-style date to the library and is happy to just sit next to her (maybe scooch closer) as she reads.
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And a girl who actually read Dawkins and knows the proper definition of meme is a incredibly precious treasure.
I liked seeing Moondancer's academic side shine through in knowing the meaning of memes.
I'm unsure what the length of the next chapter will be, but I promise it will not take that long again. Editing this was a huge pain and even now I'll still see mistakes littered here and there.
I was unsure if it felt like it was dragging on or if conversations felt boring. Good to read that people enjoyed the banter
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I never see this brought up so I thought it would be interesting to explore. Moondancer is also sort of a know-it-all and explaining stuff is a way to easily distract her.
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Minoaturs are all about that swole life
WOW
No wonder this took a while. 15k words
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Yeah, I could have split the chapter in parts after the breaking lines, but it felt better to read all in one go. What do you guys think?
I'm not surprised since ponies are kinda racist and its more ingrained in their culture than ours so the cow comment didn't really surprise me.
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Understandable
I mean we haven't seen the main human character yet so it was a good call
I fucking love it