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Comments ( 1261 )

721085 Is there anything that needs to be fixed about it?

721774 well, not really. After getting over the immediate rage of seeing another cliche'd fic where the human is a brony, I found that the plot was actually quite interesting, albeit rushed a bit. The story started off kinda mysterious. So my question is, do you plan to put some light on that in later chapters? Other than the rushing, it is actually a good story, if you try to ignore some of the multiple grammar mistakes strewn throughout the chapters. The grammar mistakes i'm talking about are few and in-between, so don't worry, all authors tend to do that :P Good story sir! GLHF!

722248 The mysterious parts are there for a reason. Some of the grammar mistakes are accidental while others are there on purpose

722387 I see :D Can't wait for the rest!

722387 Not sure which ones are on purpose, but I'd like to say that anytime you're denoting ownership, or a contraction, you add an apostraphe, ie: John's shoes, or John's room. Then there's contractions, where there are contractions (Ie: It's meaning it is, or they're meaning they are. One thing it note is that denoting ownership would be its, and denoting a contraction would be it's, for that word specifically).

722693 Grammar nazi? ATTTTTTAAAAACCCKCKKKKK!!!!!!

Allies! Cover the eastern front! They are mounting a flanking maneuver! You! Private! Set up the machine guns on the west side! Incoming mortars on the east! PREPARE FOR BATTTTTTLLLLLLEEEE!!!!

725650 ....Or I'm one of the Daedric princes and you're totally screwed?

726196 ... BRING OUT THE OFC! Prepare to fire!

() SIR! The cannon is charging up at 67%! Steadily growing from leeching off of the site!

Good! Keep charging! Prepare for impact boys!

() 89%!


() 99.......100%!




726211 Greater ward...I'm a Daedric prince...I have the magicka to do that stuff.

727962 Bethesden dragon for "silence"

727962 727972
Lol what the hell is going on on my story page? :rainbowlaugh:

i wonder why there is no comments, weird, anyways good job on the fic can't wait to read more. :pinkiehappy:

:derpyderp1: did not see ch 4 comments i am an idiot XD

Was is really necessary to get rainbow dash a boyfriend ??:rainbowderp: (a little bit self insert as pony mmh :rainbowhuh:)
but this aside it was good i hope you bring the next chapter fast

746429 Nope. Just a slight crossover. One of my otherstories centers around him and how Rainbow deals with his blindness. Just thought i'd throw him in there.

How is this not more famous? Just out of sheer curiosity...

Love dat ending.
I want to see what happend to you and Jett and Pinkie pie, Will I see it in the next chapter?
Jett's a cyborge so when will Spitfire find you?
seems legit

:pinkiegasp: u do relise that now u've said it it will only be a matter of time before pinkey smashes through the 4th wall and gos after u or jett right?
:facehoof: well exsuse me im going to go to my pinkie-proof bunker before sh-SMASH
wha? pinkey what are u doing he- (muffle noises sound of body collapsing)
(mysterious voice aka pinkie) shhhh dont worry it will all be over soon ... (drags body through 4th wall)
Dont worry internet :pinkiehappy: one im finished with shadow ill come after you too:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:
(shadowless_night) NO NOT THAT ANYTHING BUT (screams of pain cut out as 4th wall closes)

moral of that story.... my imaganation is bucked up:moustache:

772544 Later. In a few chapters.

Actually, No. But good guess. :pinkiesmile:

773406 Brace yourself. A shitstorm of Text is comin'.
Why thank you. I knew he was a cyborge for a long time (story names helps (CyberFire)). You did also have some other stuff that helps like: Dane looks exactly like Jett but with only differents is the hair-color and some more freckles (cyborges are often identical). There were some others but im to lazy to ramble them all. This is though an interesting plot-hole (No, get your head out of your ass pervert) and it will be most enjoyably to see how this will lead them closer or further away from eath other in this story.
My only question is: Why does a cyborge need to go to school if you only need a usb wire and a plugin, then your done, *Achievement unlocked: Big brain*
If its all made for an experiment (Which it mostly sounds like) then it makes sense.
Other thing: In the future do we have rocket boots? or even Jetpacks? Because I find the lack of them quite disturbing.

773477 Curse you and your genius. YOU are incredibly CLOSE but not exact. And yes in one of the previous chapters it says a man wore a jetpack into a spaceport.

And the reasons will be revealed later. And they will be revealed when Spitfire finds out just exactly what he is. Cyborg is INCREDIBLY CLOSE. Just one inch away from the bulls eye.

773517 DAMNIT!! Im to close to stop now (get your head out off your ass you sick bastard). Well, Cyborgs are very human but lack emotions. This being that Jett has emotions and can think for himself is very interesting for me. He is a test subject for something. So Jett being a Cyborg, Is Cat one to? or Is she only Flesh and bones, No metal? Was it why Cat was the way she is when Jett had to leave is parants to live with his "Sister", that she had a Cyborg as a brother? Somewere in this story two people were talking about what I only can think is Jett and that they had to take him in for a "talk". That must be some scientists that want to examine him and his progress. Why Jett is so important we will find out in another chapter (I hope) and we can only wait and see.
I can't wait for MORE!

773595 No Cat is a normal flesh and blood person. And the reason she resented him at first was just that; That he was special. Moar info will come out later in the story.

Cat was based on my older cousin Cat whom did in fact play Rugby before she tore her ACL and had to leave the game. She's a lot nicer than the one i'm writing in the story but i felt she needed an attitude so i gave her one. :pinkiehappy:

773617 Now thats nice. Having your cousin in this story. And, REALY!?!? Your cousin played Rugby? Damn she must have a damn good body (no offence... (Pleae don't send her to beat me up :fluttershyouch: )). Anyway when do you think your done with the next chapter? You got me excited for the next one.

773718 Well i'm officially on Vacation now so probably by tomorrow maybe. And yes she does, she's kinda short but i got to see her play before and saw her truck a girl who was about 6 foot 6 and twice her weight. Aboslutly hilarious.

773730 Good, good. Wait. In what place do you live? Tommorow for you. Then when is that? I live +1 or +2 from Greenwitch time. Do you live - or + because it's alreay tommorow in...some place in the world so...yeah time here is 20:09. whats yours?
(Note: Im no going to stalk you, I just want to know when the next chapter comes out)
Oh and It must have been hilarious, I only wish I could see it now.

773753 For me it's 2 in the afternoon on the 19th. Eastern Standard time for me.

And the next chapter will have some comedic parts in it, like when Cat wakes up and sees a winged girl and... Also later when the solar system celebrates their Mardi Gras on steroids like holiday week. Lots and lots of explicit content then.

773772 Good, GOOD
I'll be playing Overlord and reading fan-fic in the meantime

My money on what Jett is, is the following possibilities (With supporting evidence)

Clone- Jett and Dane are alike, so therefore they COULD be clones, and plus, if people had the mastery over genetics to clone, they could probably do anything they want, meaning that Jett's face could be made from carbon nano tubes (Explaining it's hardness) or possibly even some organic form of steel.

Cyborg- Basically the same reasoning as clonage, except he would literally be part machine, except one minor problem is that if he were a cyborg he would probably have super strength (It's sci-fi, how could he not?), plus he should have superhuman reflexes and thought time, otherwise it's sound.

Advanced Ai- Jett could be a purely synthetic being, (Android) and have emotions coded in, but like the cyborg thing, he would have super-human strength...Maybe he doesn't know he has the strength or there's limiters on it to prevent him from going ape-shit on everyone's asses...

Inhuman/Advanced or Evolved human- Jett could be a new race altogether, and that race could have an insane defensive strength, or something like that.

774891 I will say nothing. Only that one of those is correct :pinkiehappy:

good, but a bit too 'best possible scenario'


Nothing bad lol, just had a thought he was going to turn out like mega man

This story, this story is awesome! I figure thats how I would react to just about everything there lol

...this is so weird. yet predictable at th' same time.


On a side note:

AHAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT FYREGHOST UP THERE!!! *continues to laugh like an idiot*


This story is win... that is all

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