• Member Since 6th Nov, 2016
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Allykitty


Just a quirky Kitty in a wide world of possibilities. SciSet, ShyLight, ShySet and AppleDash shipper. Message me if you want, I don't bite >^.^<


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The fight against the Pony of Shadows didn’t go according to plan, and when Starlight comes to, she finds she’s been in a magically induced coma for two hundred years.

Nothing is as recognizable as the Equestria she knew, not even the landscape.

Lost in time, how will she cope?

Gift for Tilgoreth

Featured block 11-14-17

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 92 )

I can assure you that this story did not make me sad. NOT.

8550309
eyes comment critically
Am unsure if criticism or old school psyche lingo.

Hope you at least enjoyed it?

I really enjoyed this. This was amazing. :twilightsmile:

This story had no emotional effect on me. Am I dead inside?

Good story. would really like to see you expand it into a series, how she deals with the lapse in time , the search for Spike and Luna and possible their rescues. In the end tho it's your story and choice not that I would leave you with a mind worm that sits there and whispers.

Wrrriteee the Seequeeeels

8550862
No, I like Starlight Glimmer as a character, I just felt... nothing. Not that it was a bad story, I rather liked it, I just didn't feel any emotional impact.

That ending was cute :twilightsmile:
But yeah, this isn't a story proper, it's a prologue to an adventure. Not a bad one either.

“Don’t be gone long, Starlight,” she whispered. “Come home when you can. I’ll be waiting.”

Don't keep your teacher waiting GlimGlam. lol

I really enjoyed this. Good job. :twilightsmile:

8550887
Maybe is a defence mecanism. I had that time to time. She lost everithing but the oportunities now seems practicaly limitless. New friends, new adventures, a whole 200 years new world ahead. And the road goes on.

I'm sad now.

Great story though.

Just one litle typo, but it's like chewing on ground glass every time I see it.
" After loosing Dash and Luna..." Unless they became less tight, it's one "o" per customer, please.

8551146

Unless they became less tight,...

*snrk*
Maybe let's interpret it as "to free". I like keeping my wholesome stuff separate from other things.

What I'm curious about is why only Glimmer was put into a coma. Why didn't they do the same for Dash?

8550887
You’re not the only one. This story is good but it doesn’t really have an emotional impact on me either. I guess it might be because I’ve seen worse in anime so this is rather normal to me.

good start, I have feeling it become more emotional as time goes one,

While my heart has hardened into an emotionless stone when reading these kinds of things- I still absolutely love this story!

a technologically and/or magically evolved Equestria sounds like a great idea for a story, and I'm personally super interested in how the settings will be (assuming there is a 'to be continued')- and Trixie's lineage? That was a great idea whoa

I don't understand the comment dislikes, did someone just really hate this story or something? geez

Yes or no: were you inspired by Millennium Wake?

8551477
Naw, Millennium Wake is a story about how Rarity fell asleep for 1000 years, I was just wondering if you took inspiration from that. I haven't read your story yet (I'm starting now) but it seems to have the idea of "wow, time flew by fast. now what?" like how MW does. Just curious.

I highly recommend it if you ever need any reading material. I don't expect you to take anything from it, that's not why I brought it up, but I think you might enjoy it.

This has lots of promise. I really look forward too seeing more of it.
-----------------------------------

I couldn’t believe any of what I had told and demanded to see Trixie, Applejack, any of them.

*any of what I had been told and...

work out a trade level for stories.

Need the end quotation mark

ooh i love this so far, keep up the awesomeness

I'm not crying, you're crying! :fluttercry:

This was... whoa. This was a good story. This filled my diseased old heart with feelings I haven't felt in a long time...

I wonder if it's possible for ponies to reverse-engineer this magically induced coma to use it as an alternative to cryopreservation.

She had been my first friend that I had made after the mistakes I had made.

This phrase feels a bit weird with two "had made"-s in a row

This brought a lot of feelings I wasn’t prepared for.

If I may ask though, how exactly did Starlight attempt the time travel spell without the Cutie Map?

... Totally pointless as a typo, but you typod... Typo'd? Whatever it would be, you made a typo in the author's note. Specifically, baclstory... Good story concept, though. Also, that and the word before it lack a space between them.

8551479
Nah I gave Allykitty a prompt for a story that they uh wrote this with.

The prompt came from a fic called Tired(I think) which was about the mane six being old.
I just thought it would be intteresting if Glimmer was frozen in time and all of her friends died while she was gone.
And I gave that prompt to Allykitty because I don't have time for that.

8552140
Yeah, I see. It's a good prompt in any case, I'm glad I got to see a story out of it in any case.

8551989
Grief+rage+backlog of mana+plot= robbery discussed in a later chapter.

those damn ninja's are cutting onions again

8551198
It wasn’t pony doctors that induced the coma, otherwise they would have done the same for Dashie. I’ll get into that next chapter.

Is this supposed to be a short one-shot or a long running story? I'm getting mixed messages from the concept against its execution. On one hand, the idea behind it is nice and all, but it indicates a multiple chapter story. Though, the whole thing is exposition at its finest, and extremely rushed at that.
I'm halfway into a keeping an eye on this one and simply leaving it and that position irritates me.

8552426
Was originally a one-shot, but based on reception I’m going to expand it.

8552448 I am glad you are going to continue this story. Everyone here favoriting and liking the story is doing so because we feel like this is a multi-chaptered fic. I was kind of surprised to see that it was going to be a oneshot, because it isn't a oneshot. Oneshots have beginning, middle and end, while this chapter was purely beginning. If this was a oneshot it actually would be pretty unimpressive and skippable. You have the makings of a terrific story here and I am happy to track it to see where it goes.

8552448
If you are expanding upon this, the idea of Sunset stepping up as Solar Diarch would be pretty cool. I could see Celestia, tired and mourning over her sister for a second time, decided in to simply step down and allow a new generation of Alicorns to reign. She'd probably end up teaching at her school, I'd imagine. At least then, Starlight would have one other friend still around.

OF COURSE I'm just a huge Sunset fan, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

Time wise even if starlight went back and changed things she'd cause a alternate timeline to break off where she never went into a coma. Since it would cause a paradox of her not coming back to save herself causing a loop of her saving and not saving herself. Time would have no choice but to return her to the timeline she's originally from So twilight should of had no problem with her traveling back since it would have no effect other then giving the alternate starlight a brighter future. In the episode we never saw the spells true effect due to the elements table anchoring starlight twilight and spike. We never did see alternate versions of them probably because the table displaced them.

I think you may have explained too much too fast. Much of the story felt rushed.
Have you considered slowing down and saving the fates of some of the characters for later in the story?
It probably would've gone a bit better if Twilight hadn't been there when Starlight had woken up.
If Starlight had been forced to explore by herself for several chapters, rather than led around, much of what you told as exposition could have easily become heart-wrenching revelations.
Just saying, it isn't always a good thing to reveal everything at once.

This is a good start to a very good story. I have a question What happened to Discord?

okay you lost me after you pull the same bull crap all the other future stories do Spike just mysteriously disappeared I am sick and tired of that trope if you're too goddamn lazy too but right one of the best characters just f****** kill him off then don't pull the same bull crap everybody else does at least try to be f****** original I find it very hard to believe that Spike would actually just abandon Twilight after Rarity dies especially seeing all the grief she's probably going through

8553790
As soon as I figure out where he was for the whole Pony of Shadows thing, I’ll let you know.

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