Yeah, We Killed Him. But Trust Us, This Guy Was Horrid
"So what was it you wanted to talk about, anyway?" Spike asked as the waiter put down a delicious bowl of sapphires in front of him.
"Well," Thorax began, his voice just a light shade of wavery, "you remember the other week, when Ember and I were both in town?"
Spike turned red. "Yeah, I remember," he said, although he most definitely did not want to remember.
"You weren't present, but the two of us actually had a rather enlightening conversation." Thorax pondered for a moment, gaze wandering across the bright Ponyville streets and the little ponies walking by. "I mean, a proper heart-to-heart, it was. About the nature of leadership and dealing with people, friends and enemies alike. I think I like Ember."
Spike's ear flaps fluttered at that sentence, and his eyes lit up. He leaned over the table, standing up in his chair and lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Oooh, is that what this is about?"
Thorax blinked his confusion – then realisation hit. "What? No, no," he said, waving a hoof. "It's just... you know how I turned into a bear when I thought you were in danger?"
"Yep," responded Spike. "Then you beat your chest like a gorilla. I think you got your animals a bit confused there."
"I did?" Thorax asked.
"Yeah, it was pretty weird."
"Huh." Thorax didn't quite know how to respond to that. "Well, anyway. So you know how there's that group of renegade changelings I told you about?"
"The ones who want to remain in the old ways, right?" Spike asked. "Feed on love, look like nasty creepy crawlies."
"Those ones, yeah," Thorax said, nodding. "So I paid them a visit earlier. And I was like, 'hey, guys, so maybe it's time to let tradition go' and all, you know, the usual stuff."
"You said they don't listen to that kind of talk, though," Spike said.
"They don't!" Thorax said, banging a hoof on the table in frustration.
Spike began nibbling on a sapphire just so he had an excuse not to say anything.
Thorax seemed to calm down. "So Ember suggested to me that I should be more assertive when dealing with them. You know? Like, she said I should turn into a bear and show them who's boss."
Spike swallowed a chunk of precious gemstone. "Did you?"
"Yeah! I put my hoof down... well, more like my paw, really. I roared something fierce to make them fall in line."
"Aaaand?" Spike asked, although he worried that perhaps he didn't really want to know the rest of the story.
"Well, some of them listened. And some of them did not. And then I was like, hey, guys, come on, don't make me go any harder on you, you know I like you."
"I'm sure that won them over," Spike said. He may have been being sarcastic, or maybe not. That would depend on Thorax's response.
"No, it did not," Thorax said. So if anyone asked, Spike was being sarcastic there. "They laughed in my face! Even the changelings I thought were on my side ended up being swayed over to the renegades!"
"So, then what?" Spike asked. "I mean, that sounds bad, but... how can I help? Why did you ask to see me?"
"Then I kinda grabbed one of them and smeared them across the floor."
"You..." Spike blinked, then stuck a claw in his ear, swishing it about to make sure he could hear properly. "You what?"
"You know we changelings don't really have blood. It's just mushy stuff under the exoskeleton. Our organs are kind of just floating about."
"Uh... huh..."
"It went everywhere."
"I see—"
"Everywhere."
A few moments of pregnant silence followed. Thorax and Spike sat wide-eyed, gazes mutually avoiding one another. Thorax couldn't stop himself from remembering the scene – and Spike couldn't help but to imagine it.
"Everywh—"
"Yeah, I get it!" Spike said.
"I mean, the guy was proper evil!" Thorax insisted. He wasn't sure he believed his words himself. "Real hardliner neo-Chrysalis supporter, you know? Let's infiltrate the Crystal Empire and drain them dry kind of guy."
"S-sounds like you d-did the right thing?" Spike said, or asked. He wasn't sure himself, either.
"I... guess? I mean, the others fell in line right after that. That group of renegades is renegade no more."
"Sounds good to me," Spike said, hoping to cut the conversation short right there and then. "Maybe don't mention it to Twilight."
"But I mean, why do I call them renegades?" Thorax's insectlike eyes stared at the ground, brows furrowing. "Technically it was me who overthrew our legitimate queen. Now I'm actively seeking out 'renegades', changelings who did not want to be part of what was essentially a coup, and demanding they follow me. By force. Now that I'm done with this group, I think I'm going to continue seeking out whatever renegades are hiding in the hidden corners of the world."
"S-sounds like a plan," Spike cautiously said, so as not to anger the literal new king of an insectoid race of shapeshifters.
"Like," Thorax went on, "they have to change their entire ways of life. Fireflies, they even have to change what they look like. I'm not taking no spiky black changelings into my ranks, if you know what I mean. Like, I'm really hard on Chrysalis-related imagery."
Another bout of silence.
"Is that weird?" Thorax asked.
"It... does sound kind of weird, when you put it like that," Spike said.
"Spike," Thorax said, leaning closer. His voice was getting wavery again.
"Yeah?" Spike asked.
"Spike, are we the baddies?"
Silence.
"Naaaah," Spike finally said, waving his claws dismissively. "We're the good guys alright. Chosen by the magical crystal map that we trust to be absolutely morally right and just in any situation. It said that Chrysalis must go down, so we took her down."
"I suppose that when you have divine cosmic justification for everything you do," Thorax opined, "it becomes really easy not to question your own actions."
Spike snorted. "Pfft! Maybe you should talk to Twilight after all. You know how Cadence came to power up north? We literally used ancient magicks to blow up their king, Sombra. They accepted Cadence real fast after that." He pulled up an imaginery sleeve and flexed his bicep. "And I helped. They built a statue of me and everything."
Thorax craned his ears towards Spike, not sure he caught that correctly. "You... blew up King Sombra?"
"Yeah! It went everywhere."
"Huh." Pursing his lips, Throax began nodding, the scene playing out before him in his imagination. "Must have been quite the sight."
"And then we went to war with Sombra," Spike added. "I'm not talking about throwing apple pies at each other and resolving the conflict in a peaceful way. I'm talking real, honest-to-Harmony, full-on total war. Propaganda posters hung from the walls right here in Ponyville and everything. It was okay, though, because Sombra's soldiers were mind controlled. Well, they had these weird helmets on, so they must have been. Everypony knows a good leader can sustain an elongated war effort with a population who is literally a hundred percent united in opposing you."
Thorax's eyes wandered again, and he chewed his lips nervously. Something didn't sound right about that story. "Wait, when did that happen? I... I don't remember that at all."
"Oh, it was a different timeline," Spike said, chomping down on a gemstone. "Starlight erased it so it technically didn't happen."
"Erased it? Doesn't that mean... that literally everyone who has ever lived, or ever would have lived, is technically now dead?"
Spike scratched his head. "I don't know, does it? I never really thought about it that deeply."
"But was the map fine with it?"
"Oh, totally."
"Phew," Thorax sighed. "I was almost worried there for a moment." As he registered all of Spike's words, though, his brows furrowed again. "Wait, did you say Starlight did that? That sweet pony that everyone is friends with?"
"Yep. Some crazy magic powers, she's got. And that's not even half of it." Spike leaned in again. "This one time, she brainwashed a whole town into following some weird quasi-religious anti-cutie mark agenda with the power of persuasion and charisma alone. Oh, also room 101."
"Room what now?"
"Nineteen Neighty-Four? Stars, Thorax, read a book," Spike said, and stuffed another sapphire in his mouth. "On a side note, did you hear that they are starving in Griffonstone?"
"No," Thorax said. "Also, I can't read."
"Oh, that's too bad. Anyway, I'm glad to hear ruling an entire diverse group of changelings is working out for you."
Something in the back of Thorax's mind just wouldn't let that previous discussion go, tempting as doing so was. "But doesn't Starlight work for the cutie map now?"
"She totally does. And doing a fine job of it, too. And anyway, that was all before she created and wiped out entire timelines at a whim because some colt was mean to her when she was a filly. Water under the bridge."
"I just think it's weird," Thorax said, "how our group of friends keeps overthrowing governments and installing new leaders without any sort of electoral process or even just cursorily asking the opinion of the masses. That's how we get these awkward situations in the first place." Thorax turned the bottom of a hoof towards himself, morphing it briefly to resemble the paw of a bear. He stared at it for perhaps a moment too long, shuddered, then shook his head and put his paw-hoof back down. "We're pretty much playing with the lives of literally entire kingdoms and empires and we never quite reflect on it."
"Eh." Spike shrugged, shoving a bunch of gems into his mouth. "It would be difficult to summarise the intricacies of complex moral questions in a few sentences, once everything is said and done. Best to keep it simple."
"Wait, do we have to do that?"
"Dunno about you," said Spike, "but we here in Ponyville totally do. Twilight insists." He looked over both his shoulders, checking if Twilight was anywhere in sight – and when she wasn't, he craned his head closer to Thorax. "It's a carry-over from her letter writing days. We put up with it kind of as a courtesy. But you know, what with her publishing her 'friendship diary' about 'her struggles' not long ago and all... she insists we keep it simple."
"But didn't everyone hate that diary?"
"Oh, no," Spike said, shaking his head. "There were like two kids who liked it."
"And the map says that's—"
"It's fine, it's fine," Spike said, and poured the remaining sapphires right down his throat.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Codex Ex Equus · 1.7k words · 145 65 · 4.9k views
- Magi Tail Welkin · 1.6k words · 28 3 · 2.9k views
- Trick Question · 1k words · 70 6 · 1.3k views
- Daffodil · 2.1k words · 55 5 · 1.6k views
- Hustlin Tom · 2.4k words · 46 5 · 2.1k views
- SwordTune · 1.4k words · 81 10 · 1.2k views
- Hoops · 1.1k words · 64 2 · 2.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.128 seconds
Total duration
677 users online
773,487 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hey, I killed someone for stepping out of line and I'm not allowing anyone in who looks like they belong in the old regime, and I'm not allowing any reminders of that! Am I a bad guy
This story is beautiful. Also, I just have to say this: naming an insectoid being 'Thorax' is like calling a human 'Torso' or a pony 'Barrel'.
It's weird to hear Thorax talking about Starlight like he doesn't know her when they are supposed to be close friends after said overthrow of Chrysalis.
Of course the entire conversation doesn't seem like one either character would have, but then that's sort of the point of the story.
TL;DR
it's ok to bash the head in of anyone who disagrees with you
Oh, hey you actually wrote a fic! And it's a beaut.
How do I know this story won't die after only one chapter?
BUT YOU SAID MONSTERS WAS YOUR LAST STORY JAWJOE WHUT ARE YOU DOIN
8378136
Don't think about it too hard.
I know I'm not.
This is amazing.
Yeah, it's not like getting attacked by some conquering would-be villain without any warning or reason other than they want to enslave and/or eat you is a justification to fight back at some point.^^
Twice, in Chrysalis' case.
But hey, the map willed it. Even though it actually didn't.
"You know when sand gets in your bags and it's still there weeks later after cleaning it? It was like that".
Fucking
yes. YESSSS
8378275
Nah, Jawjoe tends to finish what he starts. For all I know, it's already done or something.
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME HE WAS WRITING A STORY.
8378415
Ahem.
8378359
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
"Her struggles"
I see what you did there.
Shhh Thorax . . . just have a cupcake.
You'll feel better.
"Or, on the other claw, you defeated an Extremely Evil Villain who openly wanted to oppress every other species for no reason, and then started taking steps to eliminate the remnants of her influence. I mean, it's not like the unreformed Changelings are going to wait you out, then start putting up statues to Chrysalis and claiming that her evil was really a noble 'Lost Cause' about Changeling autonomy, forcing later generations to fight to take the statues back down and correct the record, or anything like that, right?"
8378639
"Abducting and cocooning ponies to drain them of love while impersonating them to all their friends and family is our HERITAGE!"
Okay, so I wrote this thing in like 20 minutes tops and published it before going to bed. I literally did not give one single fuck during the whole process and honestly I'm half-surprised now that I didn't actually dream it.
How the fuck is this in the Featured Box.
What are you guys doing.
Don't stop.
8378359
This comment is going to give me nightmares.
Well, when you put it like that...
Ah, this was fun, although I think it needs a comedy tag because this is definitely dark comedy in my book.
Something something NOT SOME FARCICAL AQUATIC CEREMONY!
I blame the Dragon media! You see, they live a long time, so they keep remembering what we were actually like and reminding everypony!
8378639
8378811
I'm with Thorax here.
Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to Thorax?
Good job!
No questions!
So the map is some kind of god now? even the sisters are under it? or just an excuse?
Sounds better in the original Germane.
8379559
Now? You make it sound like that wasn't always the case.
8380171
It never was so explicit like in this fic... this made me rethink a lot of things in the show...
Wow, I hope Thorax doesn't turn out like the typical evil king from Crusader Kings 2.
Thorax: Are you sure we aren't the baddies? I mean, look at Equestria's new flag (points to a flag with a skull on it). I mean, not many good things are connected with skulls.
Spike: ...pure pony skull shape?
Thorax: (dryly) yes, I'm sure that what that means. I just can't think of anything worse than a skull?
Spike: A rat's anus?
Thorax: Yes, if the country had the Crystal Anus I'd be worried.
Interesting.... from the title, description, and comments I'm certain this is actually based on one of my favorite comedy skits which means this story demands my attention. I'm also surprised no one else has made note of it.
Edit: Just noticed the comment before this one
what is that disgusting looking cereature on the thumbmail? looks horrid
8381172
Thats Spike.
8381306
no not the butler who hasnt really done anyting so far inm the series other thank causing trouble i mean the big green abomination of nature and everything even remotely good looking
8381362
Ahh, that is cancer incarnate (A.K.A. Thorax)
8379413 Also, no lawyers. That's why Equestria is such a utopia.
8378178
Well, pony cities are literally horse puns....
Seems legit
8381444
they do have taxes tho.
8378451
We're all like that at one point or another.
Also, I've been seeing you EVERYWHERE lately. I used to be TeknoLogik. You supported my stories before. Good to see you're still active on this site.
Good and evil are relative. We only stay on the side of the pony girls because they are cute anyway.
8379188
The Griffon Kingdom looks to be about the size of an impoverished small town. And changelings weren't considered people until the MLP staff decided to try and sell a half baked moral about racism despite it being a bout a completely different species.
And also, King Sombra seemed to me as someone that the people were extremely afraid of and King treated his subjects more like resources to be spent for his whims rather than Ponies that are supposed to be under his protection and leadership.
There is also, the mater of dong terrible things to terrible people not really counting because all your doing is giving them their own medicine. Or that is the mindset of Americans.
Anyway. Yes, the MLP Mane-Six and Starlight can be seen as villains to the guys we call villains. Our Freedom Fighters are Your Terrorists and all.
In the end victory isn't about good and evil but survival and prosperity. As long as you can achieve Survival and Prosperity everything else is game.
If the point of this fanfic is to point out we should be rooting for the Empire and the fact that we are evil because we are winning. Then sorry I feel that you are just trying to get us against everyone.
In the end, think on who you would rather sleep with and take that side.
8378355
And there lies my point!
I am amazed no one posted this, and am now obligated to.
8381653
There is the matter of perspective sure; and would even argue that good and evil don't really exist, just as I don't think there is an over arching morality that exists outside of human social structure.
However, we create morals by constancy. For example, I don't steal things, because I want the right to own things. If I did steal things I would be violating my own right to own things. If I expect to live, then I shouldn't go around killing people.
This is just my personal take on morality, but it does break down individual actions into justified or unjustified actions based on personal moral codes. For example, if chrysalis believes that she deserves to live, but kills other ponies, never expecting them to fight back, she would be a hypocrite. However, if she believes anyone is justified in trying to kill her back, then she is morally in the right to do that.
When two individuals with different moral codes clash, then they are justified in doing anything that aligned with their code, including opposing threats that defy their morals. In fact they would perhaps be obligated to fight individuals that opposed their code.
if both parties are morally consistent then the winner is neither in the right or the wrong, they are just the winner.
8381830
Which is also an important point.
8378178 Humans have a thorax too. And a larynx, which I think was one of the other changelings. If I ever write a changeling fic, they'll all have names like bulbospongiosus, rectum, or gluteus maximus. Or spleen. He'll be the odd kid out.
Interesting question. Here's a way to help settle the ethical and moral dilemma:
When someone or something attacks a peaceful nation, and is whacked upside the head for doing that, it can legitimately be called "self defense." That covers Tirek, Chrysalis, Sombra, etc.
Griffonstone's and Yakyakistan's sufferings were self-inflicted. You can't do much for people who've embraced a toxic culture.
What Starlight Glimmer did is on her and only her. Personally, I suspect she should be taking a time-out in Tartarus now.
Thorax, as depicted above, is being a tyrant. It costs him nothing to leave the holdout changelings free and hive-less to starve if that's what they want. He could have used nonlethal force if force was necessary, but no, he jumped right to the "killing people" solution. In canon, Ember told him to "change into a bear" to make his point, so it's fairly likely that Ember also harms or kills people who disobey her.