• Member Since 19th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

SPark


I dabble in nearly everything. Sometimes that means I write pony stories. I chat about writing and other things on my Discord chat here: https://discord.gg/cz4mjDT

E
Source

Twilight Sparkle isn't sure she likes the way ponies tend to put her on a pedestal now that she's a princess. Celestia has some unexpected words of wisdom on the subject.

This fic is not a sequel to anything in particular, but probably takes place in the same setting as Chocolate Fluff.

Credit goes to Jordanis for finally giving me an idea I could use. Credit also goes to him for providing last-second editing, and vastly improving Celestia's dialogue.

Amazing cover art by LuleMT.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 53 )

This was a cute little fic. I got a bit of a chuckle out of Twi pranking Celestia, too. I figured Twi has set her up somehow, but I didn't quite expect that.

with a sudden, startled squawk. Lying on the frame beneath the cloud-bed, her head popped back up above the surface, cloudstuff clinging to her mane, which was blowing in three different directions at once.

The squawk and bits of cloud in her mane sounds especially amusing.

7999886 Glad you liked it! The squawk was all mine, but I have to credit my editor with the mane description. :twilightsmile:

I'm glad it happened. It's lovely! :pinkiehappy:

7999915 Aww, thank you!:twilightsheepish:

I don't usually read fluff like this, but I liked it. I'm glad I gave it a shot.

8000368 He he he. I'm glad too! It's not as fluffy as some of the fluff I've written.

This was very cute, in a good fluffy way. :twilightsmile:

8000420 Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

love seeing stories that show Celestia is just like the average pony. She is a person and can't be prefect all the time.

8000427 :twilightsmile: I think she's just very good at looking perfect all the time. If somebody hadn't already done basically THE perfect epic story about that, I might write one myself. :twilightsmile:

It was a cute un, that it was!

This was fluffy and cute. :pinkiecrazy:

8000550 He he. Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

I love writing Celestia.

8000550
Your profile picture makes me uncomfortable.

This is great. You get the solemn and empathetic mentor/student dynamic down and then the squawk comes out of nowhere and everything after is sweetness. The story might be short but it feels nicely full from the different tones.

Only quibble:

"I wouldn't have been elsewhere for the world," said Twilight

That wording doesn't sound quite right, if that makes sense? The expression is "Wouldn't have missed this for the world", which could've doubled as Twilight looking forward to some alone time and also the prank. "Elsewhere for the world" sounds awkward if you say (or think of someone saying it I guess) out loud.

Fun little bit of fluff! And it shows that Twilight can prank with the best of 'em if she puts her mind into it. :twilightsmile:

8000721 Glad you like it! Not sure I agree about your quibble with "elsewhere", I can say that aloud myself and it sounds fine to me. Possibly it's a word I use more than you do so it seems more natural to me? Either way, thank you for the comment. :twilightsmile:


8000746 He he he. Indeed! Glad you enjoyed it!

8001350 Yeah, part of why I use "quibble" is because no one else on the planet would care. And it doesn't get in the way of enjoying the story, so.

I like it. :derpytongue2:

And a new challenger approaches the eternal conflict. The castle janitors awoke from their slumbers in a cold sweat. And when Luna was informed, she giggled maniacally, for there is no more brutal prankster than a lover spurred. Besides the fact that Twilight could probably twist the fabric of reality in pursuit of her pranks. :pinkiecrazy:

8001609 He he he. Yeah, Celestia has created a monster here.

Not bad at all! This was an enjoyable read!

8002732 :twilightsmile: Thank you.

Man, this was fluffy as HECK! 10/10 would fall for Twilight's prank again

8003184 :pinkiehappy: Glad you enjoyed it.

This was definitely a good, amusing read. Sweet too.
Twi's prank was great. How you described what happened... ah, that made me chuckle.
And my, my, Twi did surrender rather fast there, didn't she? :raritywink:

For what it's worth the initial bit makes me think they should get Discord involved or something. It'd be pretty hilarious if the twenty foot statue got off the pedal, stretched, and went off to take a walk. It'd be even better if it could talk with Twilight's voice.

8005273 Well, that'd certainly make the title quite literal. :pinkiehappy:

8003631 He hehe. Indeed! Glad you liked it.

To the cute folder with this one! I find myself lowkey enjoying these kinds of stories a little too much.

8005321 They're fun to write too. :twilightsmile:

Sup, SPark? I'm here to do my judging for the Twilestia mini contest. Give me a few minutes to gather my thoughts and write it out.

8005626 Excellent. I look forward to your input.

8005635
My apologies for taking forever with this. Life has been busy with me and I needed a little downtime to catch back up.

Here are my notes.

Hook & Presentation
Uses the prompt in the description. Cover art implies a literal take on the prompt. Description is minimal with a hook that works like good clickbait, i.e.: what did Celestia tell Twilight about being put on a pedestal?


Technical
Zilch: It’d take a better editor than I to find anything wrong here.


Pacing & Style
The pacing is just a hint on the quick side, but it works in this story’s favor that it remains consistent throughout the whole 2.5K length. It’s urgent without being breakneck and the small time-skip keeps it from tripping up while waiting on Celestia to finish her princess business.


Overall
This is pitch perfect. It addresses both the literal interpretation and the spirit of the prompt in a very realistic way that, frankly, gobsmacked me. Characterization for both Twilight and Celestia is spot on. I really liked the idea of the romance angle being pushed to the background while Celestia did her actual job as Princess of Equestria. The comedy is actually funny, in character, and timed just right.

This plus your scores can be found on the contest thread here.

8008159 And here I was expecting "cute but mediocre." I'm pleasantly surprised you enjoyed it so much. :twilightsmile:

Nice interaction between the 2 princesses but it didn't need the kisses and stuff. The two are already close enough for this interaction, and the romance stuff doesn't really bring anything to the story.

8012860 Shipping, my friend. Shipping. That's the point. :trollestia:

8013348
Shipping out of the blue, for the sake of it and adding nothing to the story, doesn't make said story better. Too many authors make this mistake, only caring for kisses and "I love you" and not for background and believable, progressive evolution of the relationships.

8013427 I never said it made the story better. But I don't feel it makes it worse, either. People with relationships have things *other* than kissing happening in their lives, and I don't think there's anything wrong with depicting those interactions in a realistic way.

8014153
Shipping 2 characters suddenly without any explanation of how it came to be doesn't make it realistic.

8014709 You obviously just don't get it. This is a story about two ponies who love each other, and how they help each other. I don't have to write the story about how they fell in love (for the millionth time, most Twilight/Celestia stories are about that) for their relationship to matter. But we're obviously not going to agree, you seem to think that romance should be only in certain kinds of stories, and should be banned from stories that aren't centered on it, and I disagree wildly with that premise, so I think this conversation is going nowhere.

8014730
You're wrong in assuming this is what I seem to think.
You aren't obligated to add a backstory for shipping, but I think that giving no explanation makes it look like superficial, gratuitous shipping just for the sake of writing kisses and marefriends. It doesn't have to be centered on it. Writing just one sentence about how 2 characters fell in love can suffice to make it more solid.
I didn't say your fanfic was bad, and I was just offering an advice. I didn't mean to get into a quarrel, so let's agree to disagree and stop this here.

8014773 Yeah, I disagree pretty profoundly with your "advice". Calling choosing to have two characters have a loving relationship in a story I wrote specifically for a shipping group contest a "mistake" isn't advice, it's just nonsense. And you didn't seem to object to my having Twilight get a statue with no explanations on why to make that part of the story "solid". Or to any of the other little things that are just assumed in this story. Why is their relationship any different?

8014794
Again, this is not what I said. But let's stop there.

8014802 You said that their relationship brings nothing to this story. I say it brings something absolutely vital to this story: it makes it what the audience I wrote it for wanted. Writing to a specific audience is a very useful author skill. You continue to insist that you are simply trying to somehow help, but I really doubt that's the point. And you're quite free to stop any time you like. :twilightsmile:

8014802

It sure sounds like it is.

Too many authors make this mistake, only caring for kisses and "I love you" and not for background and believable, progressive evolution of the relationships.

In any case, you're wrong about it not bringing anything to the story. Their relationship status colors how Twilight approaches the subject with Celestia. Twilight in the show is not remotely as comfortable as the Twilight in this story with treating Celestia as an equal. Pairing them off is one of several available ways to make it work, and you're objecting to it because you're holding relationships in a story to a different standard than you hold any other modification to the setting an author would make for the sake of a story. You're unusually skeptical about relationships, and that's your issue to deal with, not everyone else's.

8014806
Ok, I didn't see this was written for a contest for a specific audience. Let's agree to disagree and stop there.

8014956 You know you're still free to stop this any time you like, I'm not making you comment. But seriously? It's okay because I wrote it for a contest? That's allowed, hmm? But what if I'd written it just because I enjoy TwiLestia shipping? That would make it terrible? Why? What's the difference, if my audience is a group, or if my audience is just... I don't know, people here who like shipfics? That's a pretty big group, contest or no contest. What's wrong with catering to them?

It's perfectly fine if you didn't like the story. Hell, it's perfectly fine to comment and say you don't like the story, though I generally don't recommend it, it tends to not go well. But to comment and say that the story would be better if I'd written it the way you want it written... what is that supposed to accomplish?

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #103.

My review can be found here.

Stepping Off
By: SPark
Chapter one: Stepping Off
Twilight stepped off-

Roll credits!

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!