The Rest
Amazon isn’t Princess Celestia, but she does play her on TV.
Are you all ready?
“Yup!” Amazon said, sitting back on the interview couch. She took up nearly the whole couch herself, her namesake well earned. A mare who stood a head taller than most stallions and with the frame to match, Amazon towered over the interviewer. She was strong as well, with clear muscle definition along her sides and a charger’s physique, but not to the point that it detracted from her feminine allure. A snow white coat, a gentle bearing, and a regal muzzle did a lot to blunt her intimidating aura, and the net effect was of a pony powerful but friendly. It fit her cutie mark well, depicting a heart and a set of brass horseshoes.
Why don’t you start by introducing yourself?
“Sure!” she nodded. “My name is Amazon, I’m thirty-four, and I’m from Lijiang. Most ponies know me as Xena, but I also play Clobberella in Attack of the Beast Tamer, Batmare in Dark Horse Rises, and Unit JX-227 in My Life as a Killer Robot.”
And Princess Celestia on Friendship is Magic?
“Huh?” Her ears perked up a moment. “Oh, yes. I also play a lot of bit characters. Princess Celestia in FIM, Red Scare in Yet More Superheroes, Doctor Lancaster in Majority Report, etc. I’m also an extra in Game of Saddles, but that’s mostly a cameo gag.”
You described your role in Friendship is Magic as a ‘bit’ part. Could you tell us more about that?
“Uh…” She narrowed her eyes just a little, peering at the interviewer. “I’m not sure how much there is to say. I think I’ve had all of like ten minutes of screen time in that show’s last four seasons. Don’t get me wrong, Princess Celestia is a fun character. It’s nice to play a pony who doesn’t throw punches all the time. It’s just not really my show.”
In our interview last month, Star Power said that you’d had quite the positive impact on the FIM cast, particularly the child actors who portray the main characters. Is that true?
“Who?”
Star Power.
“Yeah, that’s not… like. It’s not ringing any bells.”
She plays Princess Twilight Sparkle?
“What? You mean Candy Floss?” Amazon frowned. “She’s not a child actor.”
No, the other princess.
“Blue Shift? I heard she quit acting to go study particle physics.”
No, the other other princess. The main character of the show. The purple one.
“Oh! The purple one!” Amazon nodded. “Right, sure. We’ve spoken a few times. She was just hanging around the prep room asking if I had any advice for a young actor. We talked about what it’s like to do your own stunts. I uh… I gave her a cupcake.” She paused. “Not really sure what you’re getting at here?”
Are you familiar with the FIM shipping community?
“And, we’re done.” Amazon pulled off her mic, rose up, and with one last glower at the camera, left.
Later, it was revealed that she had a crippling cocaine addiction and her dog died, though to be clear, this was largely irrelevant to her role as an actor and mostly just made ponies sad.
Candy Floss isn’t Princess Cadence, but she does play her on TV.
“It’s unbelieveable. Just unbelievable,” she said, gesturing emphatically as she spoke. “It’s like, the studio thinks they own your body. Iget that they want the character to remain consistent, but come on. Gain weight? Contract violation! Cut your hair? Contract violation! I think they’d have probably written Princess Cadence out of the show entirely when I got pregnant, except the law says they can’t.”
I understand they later integrated it into the show?
“Ugh. Yeah.” She held her hoof to her face. “It was nice of them to try, I admit, but the execution just got bungled. So…” She removed her hoof, and swirled it in the air. “They decided, okay, actress is pregnant. So the character has to get pregnant. So Cadence and Shining are going to have a foal, sure. Except then they delayed the season by four months, so instead of shooting when I have a baby bump, we’re shooting when I’m approximately the size of a car. And I’m up there on stage, every day, trying to do the lines. And then do you know what happens?”
You had your child, as I understand it.
“Yup!” She threw up her hooves in the air. “Right in the middle of the recording season. We’re lucky my water didn’t break in the studio! Needless to say everything had to get reshot or thrown away, and we ended up with this weird split where Cadence announces she’s having a foal, and next we see her, there’s the kid. But she’s never pregnant on screen because we cocked that up.”
I’m very sorry to hear that. But you must be very happy to be a new mother.
Candy Floss laughed. “Yeah. Sorry, I know I get carried away ranting about the studio, but you’re right, it is wonderful. And the director has been great about accommodating my schedule so I can care for her personally.”
And what’s her name?
“Patient Zero,” Candy Floss explained.
After a moment of silence, she added: “She’s named after her grandmother.”
Blue Shift isn’t Princess Luna, but she used to play her on TV for a little bit there.
“Yeah,” she said, “I’m not really into acting anymore. Sometimes I’ll come in and do cameo appearances as Luna when they need her to say a few lines. But it’s not really a thing. I’m just not that great at it, and I always wanted to study physics, and you know? I’m happy with that choice.”
Any regrets leaving the show?
“Hah.” She smiled and shook her head. “No way. It’s way too high stress. Physics is nice and relaxing and… honestly?”
She leaned in close to the camera, and lowered her voice: “Have you seen the kind of fanfiction that gets written about that show? No matter how much we change our email or mailing addresses, we just keep getting it. I have a recycling bin specifically for all the creepy shapeshifter torture porn fans send me. It’s awful.”
She swallowed once, and then added: “Well, I mean, morally awful. Some of the porn is actually pretty good.”
She later went to jail for driving without a license, and nopony came to visit her. This was unrelated to the interview or the show.
Meta Humor isn’t Discord, though actually, he might be. It is kind of ambiguous.
Meta chuckled, flipping through the script and collection of papers in front of him. “I don’t get it,” he said, looking back to the camera. “If Discord is CGI in this universe, and I voice him, then aren’t I just the voice actor for Discord? Wouldn’t that just be John DeLancie? Like, in real life?”
With a hoof, he reached down to smooth out his coat. “I mean, I can do my John DeLancie impression if you like. But I don’t think I’m that funny.”
Later, it turned out he had incurable cancer. Again, this was unrelated to his role as an actor, life is just sometimes awful for no reason, you know?
Xerinx of the Black Carapace isn’t Deep Cover, but she does secretly plot the conquest of the earth for her insectile overlords.
“Hey, Deep Cover?” Star Power pushed open the door to the trailer. “I was thinking of buying a hat and…”
Star Power trailed off into silence, staring ahead into the dim space within. Deep Cover’s trailer was utterly bare of any furniture or fittings. There was no couch, and nothing in the kitchen, just a single dim ceiling lamp and blackout curtains over every window. And there in the middle of it all was a creature she’d never seen before, outside of her dreams and nightmares: an insect that walked like a pony.
It’s legs were long and jagged things, splitting down into little hairs that made them seem full of holes. It’s face was an angry mask, of fangs and soulless eyes that had no lids. On its back were a set of gossamer wings, ragged with the weight of centuries, and upon it’s head, a horn that was less a horn and more a knife that twisted and flowed. Her body was covered in an armored chiten, her tail little more than wispy and dying hairs. She turned. Saw.
Her horn glowed sickly green, and a powerful force picked up Star Power. Star tried to run, tried to scream, anything, but she found her body paralyzed. Helpless, aware, her breath coming in panicked gasps, she floated across the room in that chill embrace. Before her was the monster, and in a flash of green light, it ceased to be the beast, and became Deep Cover. The pony she thought she knew.
“Hey there,” she said, with a sultry purr, “Sugarcube.”
Learning forward, Deep Cover’s lips met Star Power, and though Star’s mind knew it to be an illusion, her body was so easily fooled. In her mind’s eye, she pictured those insectile mouth parts rubbing over her face, and the jagged hairs of that twisted leg scraping over her coat. But what she pictured was not what she felt, for what she felt was the warm touch of somepony dear, and their hooves along her side. And she felt something taken from her, but how wonderful it felt to give. The gift that in the giving made her body heat, made her tail rise, made her breath come fast. This was the parasite that claimed ponies lives, but promised them joy in return. And what could she do?
She kissed Deep Cover back.
Then, Deep Cover broke the kiss, dropped her to the floor, and laughed. Leaning down to Star’s stunned face, she whispered: “Nopony will ever believe you.” And with that, she left the trailer.
Star sat there stunned. At a loss. She knew she couldn't leave it at that. She had to do something.
So she went and wrote changeling romance fiction and became an otherkin, which fellow actors agreed was the saddest fate any of them had suffered.
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7366276
Hey, look what I just did! Kind of.
7366403
You know what?
I can respect that.
Okay this is pretty funny.
...heh
really silly Ga.
Nomen est omen.
Dear god. The sudden whiplash in between these two.
#shotsfired
Still, great to see the princesses represented. And changelings, which of course don't actually exist.
7366473
Yeah, that's right, I went there!
7366473
Also I'm reading Around the World in 80 Days and it's directly as a result of your actions! So thank you!
On one hand, I didn't initially care for this setting all that much simply because it takes the 'cast' as it were, makes them someone else, and then makes everything subtly terrible.
Yet at the same time, it's an interesting original setting on its own(what is the world they live in like, exactly?), and in spite of the 'terrible', some of the cast clearly have no time for that and want to see the world for what it could be, instead of what it is. /Winston. Barnstormer and Pan Flash can really channel their characters.
I'd say monetize the unhelpful commentary, but that's more a Roosterteeth thing. Shame to see you don't want to continue.
See, this is what made it. This is why Dressing Room got all that attention in the first place, and (in my humble opinion) is what contributed to the downward slope in reception for the subsequent entries. There's just so much opportunity for quick-fire jokes, real-world subtext and general hilarity in the interview structure, not to mention that it really does feel like the best format for a 'ponies as actors' story.
Also, I've got to respect you for, after all the hatred you've had to endure for your hit-and-miss attempts at drama, still being able to poke fun at both the series and yourself with those little asides about how horrible their lives really were behind the camera. Again, the quick-fire comedy approach works really well for this shock value stuff, and could be argued as working better than the straight approach you went with for the other entries in the series.
Finally, of course, the decision to put this as a chapter rather than a separate story will probably go a long way towards acting as an olive branch towards many of your detractors, seeing as that was one of the most enduring complaints of the series.
I'll freely admit that most of the Actingverse was not to my liking, but I'm mature enough to admit this is largely subjective. There are plenty of people who like reading a dark story that tugs at the heartstrings, and many people who enjoy gritty behind-the-scenes drama as a juxtaposition to the glamor we usually project upon Hollywood, and you were lucky enough that these people formed the majority of your audience for much of the series. It's just not my cup of tea. I read the first three entries so that I'd have proper context for Barnstormer, and continued reading because I didn't want to be the sort of person who judges a play by its first act.
I'm a guy who likes a silly interview that pokes fun at the show, the fans, the characters and everything in between. I can appreciate the effort you put into this series, even if I don't necessarily enjoy the gritty drama all that much. At the end of the day, cheesy as the saying may be, I think we've all learned a valuable lesson from this adventure.
Cute. This actually made me laugh a few times.
What about Spike?
7366507
CGI.
7366507
Also Deep Cover.
All characters not specifically explained otherwise are actually Deep Cover in a variety of disguises.
7366525
Dammit, dude. Way to show me up with your superior authorial behind-the-scenes knowledge. I am shame.
There goes my posting cred.
7366525
Slice of life must have been a lot of fun for her. So much careful green screen work.
7366525
7366521
Actually, I think in the first one of these it was specifically mentioned that Spike was CGI. Might want to go back and change that if you've changed your mind:
Man you broke my heart with that line from Amazon about "the purple one."
It's got better with more Deep Cover though, who is clearly pony Bill Murray.
Spike didn't get mentioned, so I'm going to assume the actress who plays Mayor Mare is the VA for Spike as well.
7366093
Most child actors don't end up messed up, but the ones which did end up sticking out in our minds and looming larger.
Also, laws have been passed due to earlier abuses of child actors which protect actors' money from their parents, protect child actors from abuse, and give studios more incentive to watch out for their child actors due to legal liability. Things are a lot better these days than they used to be. I don't know that these have ever mentioned the Internet or cell phones, which may indicate this took place in-verse in the local equivalent of the 1980s or 1990s.
Also also, several of the CMC VAs are from families where acting/performing is normal, so their families are more used to such things. Also, voice acting is generally much easier on people than screen acting because it is much less awful for your schedule - if you want to do filming, you have to get up at dark o'clock to get everything set up (costume, makeup, ect.), which leads to all sorts of disruptions. Not to mention there are more moving parts. VAs generally record on their own, which is much easier to do, and is much easier to slot in and is much easier to get done at more convenient hours, which is less disruptive to people's lives.
Reading this chapter is the literary equivalent of going down a flight of stairs and thinking that the bottom is actually one step higher up than it actually is. In other words, I felt like I'd had a bit of a stumble.
Some good humor in there, though
Changelings are seen blinking in the show.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/6/13/916284__safe_screencap_animated_sitting_frown_changeling_chair_daisy_slice+of+life+%28episode%29_flower+wishes.gif
This is extremely important and I am very disappointed in you for making such a grievous error. You monster.
7366261 I also have Thunder Pants.... for realsies...
This mock chapter makes me double mad that this story flunked the way it did. I've never seen such weird feedback.
Also, i thought deep cover was actually a changeling from the start of this series...
I finally figured it out... this whole series... IT'S A SECRET CRY FOR HELP!
Red Mane Isn't GaPJaxie, But He Does Ghost Write For Him On FiMFiction.
These are good, Jaxie. I'm genuinely impressed. Well done
7366716
And you've just found out that it really was Deep Cover the pony all along with the help of some SFX, putting Star Power into a mental bluescreen of death for life.
"They Klik", featuring Rowdy Reddy (you might know him from that character bit he does on the show as "Big MacIntosh") Pepper was a major hit the year afterwards, with Deep Cover doing the character development work for the eerie insect monsterponies the hero can only see wearing his special sunglasses.
7366817
And yet, it got a solid favorite feature on every chapter. Cause it was a good story.
Some people just handle the concept of little ponies actually being actors and having Hollywood stories.
7366974
It's weird. And the most bothersome is the part about gap being bothered by the site about putting it in different stories. If it was jus readers, fuck it.
...
Yeah, I had my own moment of silence when I read that. My brain kind of stalled.
Aaaand we get an answer about Deep Cover... Along with a creepy as f
ck description of changelings... I wonder if Star Power sent any of those stories to Blueshift... she might like the more graphic ones.
"It fit her cutie mark well, depicting a heart and a set of brass horseshoes."
"It fit her cutie mark, depicting a heart and a set of brass horseshoes, well."?
"Iget"
"I get"?
"but come on"
"come on"?
"her hoof, and swirled"
"hoof and"?
Methinks I am detecting a bit of a theme here... :)
"the camera, and lowered"
"camera and"?
"It’s legs"
"Its"?
"It’s face"
"Its"?
"mask, of fangs and"
"mask of"?
"it’s head"
"its"?
"met Star Power"
"Power's"?
"claimed ponies lives, but promised"
"claimed ponies' lives but promised"?
7367043
Not something I normally see, so no.
Seems like a good way to turn everything into a court of public opinion slap fight. Also a good way to make sure more situations escalate, since you're forcing someone to publicly lose face in order to deescalate.
Really don't think some of the people in this comments section needed the encouragement of a mod "coming in on their side".
7366525
What about when more than one are on screen? Does this never happen in this version of the show?
7367061 Well, I'd prefer not to potentially slander a mod with conjecture, so why not PM Meester and ask him his reasoning for doing this in public?
Though I will point out that I have seen Meester publicly intervene multiple times, and it almost never devolves into a 'public opinion slap fight'. Probably because, you know, he's a moderator.
7365074
Now, I have to disagree there. I think the fact that they're still teenagers makes this a little more unbelievable. Given, children/teens with prospective careers usually have to have a more mature attitude about everything they're doing, but at the same time, teens do not think as deeply into themselves as these characters seem to be doing. At least, most teens don't. The fact that every character in the series is having some sort of deep moral issue with themselves, and they talk in these deep, philosophical tone, and use large, not easily understood words is a little far fetched.
Example(s) from Barnstormer:
Ugh, what does any of that even mean?
The fact that these actors are still qualified as 'children' takes away my suspense of disbelief a little. Especially when I see lines such as this:
Example from Pan Flash (again):
I'm not saying that people who are under eighteen and have all those things to their name is impossible, but I do find it a little hard to believe.
And of course Deep Cover's whole conversation with Star Power about loving people because you're afraid they're going to hurt you was a little...unwarranted. (in my humble opinion.)
And of course, you're right that it wouldn't be nearly as interesting without the drama. I just think that if it would've stuck to the interview format, it would've done just fine as well.
Well that's certainly true, I worked at a retail store for over a year and didn't get to know anyone that well outside of a specific group of co workers. (specifically the ones in my department) But still, five years, for these actors? You think they would all know each other a little better, or at least that someone would have addressed First Take's verbal abuse of Pan Flash by now.
Otherwise I agree with everything you said.
I suppose, but they don't really go through much if any character development that making good OCs requires. It seems like they exist for the sole purpose of being the polar opposite of the pony they play. Deep Cover's a liar, Butter Up's not so kind, Barnstormer can't decide what she wants to stick to, Pan Flash is depressed, and First Take is kinda selfish. The only one of them who seems to go through any character progression is Butter Up, and maybe First Take at the end (though she is still super rude about it). Otherwise it seems to go out of the way to emphasize the point that they're different, in fact it seems to be the sole purpose of each story, almost.
No, it's not the main problem, but it's certainly a problem. Character emotions are important indeed, and can be conveyed through body language quite well, but when it's done so excessively, it becomes annoying. Simplicity in a story is just as important as detailed descriptions are, and to that point I refer to the phrase 'less is more'.
I suppose the argument 'show, don't tell' could be made here, but the emphasis on where a character's ears or hooves or wings or whatever are at any given point in time might be a little too much showing.
now this might just be my personal dislike for slice of life stories speaking, but I feel as though none of the entries in this verse had the 'rising action' bit of this engagement curve. That's actually one of my biggest problems with this whole verse, the lack of things happening. I'm not saying there needs to be a gigiantic final showdow with rarity vs. a giant crab atop the empire state building as thunder booms in the background and an entire choir of people re-enact the boss music from the pontiff sullyvahn boss fight in dark souls 3 (Here's an unrelated link to that if you're interested in checking that out for whatever reason) but the whole series just seemed generally boring.
Like, okay, characters having these big psychological revelations and changing their attitudes/morals is great and all, but where's the investment? We don't know these characters, we haven't been given ample time to get to know them outside of a few separate stories of other characters telling us what they're like before they actually show up in their own stories, so having them go through these big revolutionary psychological changes has its impact lessened because we're not invested in these characters. We don't know them, they're not the same characters the majority of the fandom finds interest in. They need time and room to grow and develop before we can care about how they cope with sudden change, like barnstormer threatening to beat up First Take if she tells Pan Flash to kill herself again. Like that feels like I should care about that, but there was no personality or investment to put to the face.
Anyways, thanks for responding. I'm glad I was able to highlight some of the major problems wrong with this verse.
...Okay, "And the Rest" really, REALLY does not feel like it's in the same universe as the rest. Just...such a jarring shift in tone. (And the "Deep Cover" scene, too.
I assume it's just a joke-thing on the end?
What even
The Whatest of Evens
7366830
Pinkie Pie isn't Pan Flash, but she plays her in internet fanfiction.
"This is getting too meta, even for me."
7367568
Yeah. A joke sendoff.
So I got one last question. Who's the director?
7367617
Faust.
First Take I actually want her to eventually become better, and improve. Barnstormer I couldn't really get into that much because I consider that she wasted her life acting when she was capable of helping the WORLD. (Even if she is NOW doing something with that) (Sexy + Strength + Genius = Pulp Hero Material/ The makings of legend.)
PS. I may not have as many problems as many do with this series. But I never read them in a row. Now I actually see a thing or two that is off. It feels like a 1970's exploitation movie that is taking itself too seriously. With a little pinch of 90's OW THE EDGE.
Basically it's formulaic and downright depressing. I can give a damn about these characters, but what the hell do they do with their lives? They act, acting can be messed-up and stressful but there is a reason why we tend to make a ton of jokes on the fucked-up lives of former or washed-out celebrities, we normally don't empathize with people that got lucky and blew it because they were pieces of crap to begin with.
I feel for Butter Up, I feel for First Take, and even for Pan Flash.
Now here is my main issue. I feel like Barnstormer wasted her potential for TRUE greatness by becoming an actress. She may have the genetic lottery, but she could have done so much more with that. She could have been great. And I mean TRULY GREAT, I'm talking about Laurence of Arabia, Howard Hughes, and Earnest Hemingway sort of GREAT. The sort that leave a mark in history that can never be forgotten.
I'm done.
BEST CHAPTER
Wwlll... my take on all this... I guess I'm ultimately siding with you, OP, though whoever says your stories are chapters has a point*, because they really are. They fit the definition of small pieces of a larger work, and if they were all together in one story it would be easier to find them all and read through them. In fact, this one (not this chapter, the first one) and the last one have very clear continuity. Someone reading this story first would miss out on that connection.
* - Doesn't meant they aren't jerks for complaining about it and reporting it.
That said, I believe it's your business how you structure your stories. That is part of the art of writing in and of itself. I don't know if there's site rules against what you're doing but if so perhaps they should be carefully re-evaluated with the idea in mind that some of the most interesting reads have authors playing with established formats of things and trying new ideas, both in general and on fimfic. I'm specifically thinking of this story. And while I didn't pick it specifically because of who the author is, it does serve to help make my point I think.
Ok, I immediately LOLed there.
¡Bravo!
You are a cruel person, teasing me with Amazon chapter and then making it pure crackfic!
Clearly at Bronycon I shall have to buy you a drink, toast you, and then give it a celebratory, friendly, good-natured toss in your face.
Then buy you a real drink to say sorry
Good show.
bwahahahaha
Dude, that was unnecessary and cruel.
Why?