• Member Since 14th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen November 26th

Azure Sandora

I write sins... NOT tragedies. Link to Patreon



Princess Celestia is the epitome of purity. Everypony loves her, and worship the ground she walks on. But what about Princess Celestia herself? How does she truly feel about the attention she gets.

If only they knew what she really thought of all of them. They might not worship her then. Instead, they might actually realize that Nightmare Moon was the least of their worries.

My entry for the Twilestia is Bestia 10th bimonthly contest. Please enjoy it!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 123 )

this story is awesome please write more Twilestia

*Please place 'Twilight Yes' meme here*

Good work, i always liked to hear your 'coloring' as it were of Celey. :twilightsmile:

I should really lighten up.

Oh no, no, that's another guy, his name is Shit Sherlock, first name No.

hehehehe, good story, it need two more chapters, one in which twilight has her own hate journal, and the other in which twilight find the hate journal, and show princess her own and the two bond over it all.....

Keep all those emotions bottled up for too long, you might end up doing something you regret.
Clearly, after reading this, that is the last thing we want from Celestia.

I love this, this is a side of Celestia Iv been waiting to see, I think you should add another chapter or two with more Twilight and Celestia. Luna in this one is awesome :twilightsmile:
Anyways I give it a 10\10 and I would definitely read it again.

This was pretty alright. Faint shades of a budding yandere here, little bit of "Celestia hates being treated like royalty" there. Could use some more work though. Keep at it.

Ooh, I can't wait for her to break. Or take a VK and dump the job on someone else. Like Discord.

These ponies get on my nerves so much! They treat me like I'm some sort of deity! I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm not a goddess! For God's sake, I USED TO BE A UNICORN! I had dreams before this life! I was going to open up my own library, and spend my entire life learning about magic!

What does THAT mean? You mean god in your universe EXISTS?

Haters gonna hate.

7270883 That's not the only idiomatic slip or anachronism in this story. The phrase "First World problems" could never exist without the history of the Cold War to establish the First, Second, and Third Worlds, and stereotypes about them.

7271066 I think the impact of my thing is a bit more important. Just saying.

Hm. Not sure the "hate diary" really sounds like her. And yet the idea of building petty dislike over such a long time is kind of intriguing if horrifying.

7271083 That was the point of the hate diary. I wanted it to clash with our conceived notion of what kind of pony Celestia is. Essentially, the Celestia we know is her bottling up her inner hatred for the ponies around her, and her hatred diary is what she's really like.

She sounds like a ticking time bomb

7271113 Perhaps, but that's not what I at least came out with from this story. Celestia isn't perfect, yet despite how much she hates the role she has been saddled up with she still sticks with it. It gave me a sense of someone who has quite the strong moral core and outstanding patience to keep up with this for over a thousand years. What, all she has against her is a little book that she vents to? She could very easily have a boxing bag in her rooms, tape a photo of the pony that angered her most that day, and kick the everloving manure out of it. It would just be a different way to get some relief. Besides, it didn't seem too much like hate-hate to me. Just a growing resentment and idle wishing, no worse than non immortals get when stuck with a job they hate. God knows I've wished I could bash some heads in, and I don't actually work a job I hate 24/7.
The story was great though. Celestia's 1st person view is superb.

7271148 I like your interpretation of this. And I'm glad you enjoyed it.

7271113 it wasn't the emotion but the diction that I found disorienting.

7271201 Don't they say something like "that doesn't sound like you," to people who rant angrily? Celestia uses the diary to spew down her worst feelings, without letting herself reread what she wrote. It makes sense that it wouldn't read like her. That's not her who "talks" at the moment. Heck, I like to think that it's riddled with ugly blotches of ink, places where the pen ripped through the paper, and so many misspellings that if Twilight found it she would think it was written by a goth kid pretending to be Celestia.

7271244 I understand what you're saying, but I have two qualms. The first is that there is a difference between "this doesn't sound like you" and "this reads like you wrote it in middle school when no one would go on a date with you". Secondly, fiction's artifice and an approximation of truth, by which I mean that you have to communicate in such a way keep the reader engaged with the truth in your words. While in reality it's possible that in fury in otherwise well spoken and literate person might come across childish or at least less elegant (and in fact they WILL) but you have to shape how you portray that or it's jarring in the wrong sense. I'm not sure the diary excerpt accomplishes that. Instead of jarring in a character shift sense it's more jarring in a "what happened in this word doc?" Sense.

I'm quite in agreement with you, the excerpt doesn't quite hit the nail there. You do have to consider however the difficulty and enormity of the task. The difficulty of portraying the hidden feelings of a character so complicated like Celestia is hinted to be here in a tiny excerpt is exceptional. A mortal who wanted to lead a simple life has been burdened with the caring of a nation, and the daily guidance of the sun that keeps the planet alive. She has lost who knows how much in the course of a duty she has grown to despise through the years. How many Twilights and Sunset Shimmers have there been in her long life? How do you portray the hidden resentment and waning patience in... hold on, let me count... 310 words? You either grow the story into a longer fic to give it the proper gravity it deserves, or you slave over it for hours trying to get it right.
It's a 3k word fic. Considering how good of a job the author has done in the rest 2.953 words, I'm gonna give it a pass and say I got the idea anyway.
I know you are not bashing, but give your critique on the piece. I only wanted to say that the author was faced with something too hard, especially when it's the centerpiece of a small story . SapphireLibra3, if you were to listen only one person's critique on writing, listen to Cynewulf. I've stood gaping at the screen way too many times at the way he writes to ever consider ignoring what he says.

This is one of the best Celestia stories I've ever read. Keep it up, you're an amazing writer.

Makes you wonder if Luna would have a similar state of mind as Celestia during all of this. Maybe she has something similar as this deep inside?
Good little ons-shot. :moustache:

Comment posted by AngeredFox deleted Jun 3rd, 2016

If Celestia is so stressed about her work, why doesn´t she take vacations like any other ruler ?

This story is a very realistic portrayal of what would happen to someone if they have to always act nice and perfect infront of others, even more so if they had to do it for hundreds of years! I think this story sets up a LOT of potential for great angst and drama as Celestia starts to finally lose her shit, and maybe could have Twilight save her or some such.

I love it, please continue this story!

so mean that this is just a one-shot, because it has so much potential ...

After a thousand years of dealing with annoying spoiled ponies, a more intelligent version of Celestia would just smirk to herself at the ever-present knowledge that she will outlive them.

But then, few beings have a will as strong as mine.

For I Am the Kwisatz Hadirak! :pinkiecrazy:

7271844 No one would last that long. Try to hide seething hatred for those whom you can't escape few a few decades and see how long it takes for you to go on a murderous rampage.

As THIS Celestia says, she no deity, but a former normal unicorn. Therefore, no 'divine' will power or higher focus. No strength of character or internal fortitude, either.

People who foster hate for those they lead quickly either become tyrants or Hillary Clinton. :trollestia:

Liking. Favoriting and tracking this if you decide to make some announcement of a continuation. This has potential beyond a one shot. And while it should not become a overly long fic. It definately can get some more chapters in there. Also have a Watch! Because i love Twilestia so much and you write really good!

Well, I wonder what would happen if I just decided not to do it anymore?!

The the elements would do it, given that they kinda already do it anyway.

What if one day I decided not to raise the sun?!

We got Luna back, and I think she's desperate enough for approval that she'd raise it if push comes to shove.

Or better yet, I could just simply refuse to lower it!

Again, Luna. Wasn't there also something about it taking six Unicorns otherwise?

Oh no, I could give them something to fear!

True. I mean, normally I'd say the elements would just make you stoned (literally), but Twilight is pretty stupid for all her book smarts, so I suppose you actually got a shot at this. As long as you have Fluttershee alive and kicking, you can do it! Go get 'em girl!

7271988 Yeah, I don't really buy into stories that retcon Celestia and Luna as former normal ponies. It goes against what Faust originally invisioned and them adding more alicorns to the show to sell more toys(starting with Cadence) is one of the main reasons she left.

I know that she's supposed to be in this story, but as you said it doesn't make sense that she could hold it together for so many years if she is.

Ah, the inherent rage that can hide behind a calm, cool, even cold, mask. It makes sense that she can keep that burning inside for so long, especially with practice. Though, I do think the story could use another one or two thousand words to help flesh it out. I really like the concept.

I think it is a sign of just how much Celestia loves Her Little Ponies that, despite the agony that her position seems to inflict on her, she still insists on holding the role they have given her and hasn't attempted to abdicate or just run away.

This is a very good one-shot.

Princess Celestia is the epitome of purity. Everypony loves her, and worships the ground she walks on. But what about Princess Celestia herself? How does she truly feel about the attention she gets[.][?]
If only they knew what she really thought of all of them. They might not worship her then. Instead, they might actually realize that Nightmare Moon was the least of their worries.

Comment posted by Swan Song deleted Jun 3rd, 2016

There is a screaming grammar nazi inside of me, I will let him out first and then compliment you on this story, okay?:raritywink:

After all, your Cutie Mark is the sun after all.

Obvious double use of the adverb is ovious :twilightsmile:

“I don't know what Twilight thought of me after that.

A quotation mark, followed by narration.

Nooow, with that out of the way, I like your perspective of Celestia. I can imagine what she is going trough, and it was definitely worth a read. Thumb up :twilightsmile:

7272300 The whole point of the story is that she hates them, Then you turn around and say she must love them. :rainbowlaugh:

OmfG I need it

Very interesting indeed, I've always entertained the idea of Celestia not liking even one of her subjects so thank you for writing this! It really is a refeshing take on a supposedly benevolent super being meanwhile despising her people. Very nicely done, I do hope there is a sequel. Even if there isn't one planned I still enjoyed this fic! :pinkiehappy:

Reading the description made me think of this-

and I don't know why:rainbowhuh:

It isn't that she doesn't like the other ponies so much as she resents them. She really should open up to Twilight. Heck, she should open up to the kingdom. They might not understand, but they would give her some space.

This...didn't really do anything for me.

Celestia just seemed really angsty rather than an actual alternative character. The story itself seemed to have a fair amount of buildup, and then sort of just flops.

Can't really give it an upvote, but I can't say it's a bad story either.

That reminds my of another story.
Where Celestia is sitting in the garden and thinking out loud of how she could destroy the world if she'd want to. It's rather dark how she could think of all those things with a smile.
Can't remember the name of the story. I think it was "What If" but I'm not sure.

Read again, it is literally a case of 'she hate them cuz she ain't them'.:duck:
She hates not being treated like a normal equine being, she hates being a goddess, and she hates that she can't really vent in any fashion because they'd lose their shit because their goddess isn't a goddess.
And she is damn near ready to toss that shit away just to vent that hate.

7273225 Very good. You realize EXACTLY what I was trying to portray. She wasn't given a choice in the matter, and this latest generation worships her like a deity, so if she ever acts outside of that role, Equestria would fall into chaos.

It's even in small things, like with the donut. Celestia HATED that donut, and she wanted to tell Joe "It's not really to my liking", but if she said anything negative about it, he'd just scrap it, not letting anyone try what was technically a good treat.

This is, for lack of a better word, unique. It's probably how any normal person would feel if they were thrust into this position.

I hope you win the contest, dear sir. Twas gud, and added to favourites.

7273420 I hope so too. I don't want to say that I'm definitely going to win, but this story IS currently at the top of the featured box. I don't know HOW that happened.

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