Vermilion didn’t join the Guard to be a hero – he just wanted to escape his old, boring life. But when everything goes wrong at a small town called Hollow Shades, Vermilion finds himself fighting for his life, and all of Equestria as well.
Owlowiscious has been acting strangely for days. He refuses to fly into the new castle much, and when he does he never stays for long. Worried for his friend, Spike attempts to find out just what has him so upset.
Golden Harvest isn't jealous. Sure, her neighbor has glamor, adventure, friends and firm, toned flanks, but she isn't jealous. Nope, not jealous at all.
Since Dash said she’d be like my sister—about ten years ago now—I thought we’d really gotten pretty good at the whole “sisters” thing. Except the part where I had a total crush on her. But it was all cool. Probably
[Poetry] After Luna's banishment, a guilt filled Celestia searches for answers. Trying to gain a new understanding of what caused her sister's misery, she visits the valley that she left long ago, where everything must have started.
1541815 You are most welcome. It's always a pleasure to help others develop their craft. I wish you luck for your future stories! Mayhap I'll see you in the Feature Box some day.
Before I say anything else, I would just like to tell you how much your review here means to me. I've learned a lot about creative writing and writing in general in the last two years, and am still learning, and every piece of advice like this really helps me. Actually, just by rereading my old stories that you've left comments on I've seen places that I've messed up. I never realized just how much I use commas incorrectly, and while I know that I can get pretty dang wordy at times I never noticed just how bad it got (One Small Mistake comes to mind). My writing style is something I still very much struggle with and while I experiment with colors and bold it can get kind of strange.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that my eyes have been opened a bit, and I really, really, really want to thank you for your advice on this. Sincerely, just thank you for your help.
At this point I have read four of your stories and am coming to have a general grasp of your writing style. If I may, I have three points of advice to offer:
1) Use italics for emphasis. I've seen you use bold, but it doesn't always come out right and the more 'elite' critics will call you on it. I like to use the 'Medium Dark' formatting scheme, and sometimes I had to stop and look back to confirm that something was actually in bold.
2) In any story you intend to be taken seriously, never utilize special text fonts like all-caps, different text sizes and alternative colors. Ever. It's jarring and catastrophically hurts the immersion of a story. Stick to italics for emphasis and general descriptions to get your point across.
3) Seek pre-readers and/or editors. While your grammar is generally good, I saw you make many of the same mistakes over and over again (comma usage being a major problem). I think the biggest issue I saw was a tendency to use a lot of words to say very little, and some awkward repetition. A decent editor can find and point these issues out in advance. There are plenty of groups on the site that are gathering spots for editors; make use of them.
Your stories have a lot of potential. All you need is a little polishing on your delivery and you could get a lot more attention. Don't be discouraged by having a low amount of attention. If you're not writing what the fans all want to see, then the only sure way to greatness is saturation: keep putting more material out there and people will start to catch on. The more you write, the more you will be recognized, and you'll find that some people will start doing what I'm doing right now: trying to help. It's not a fast road by any means, but it can be very rewarding if you stick to it.
Or you can take the fast-track and write the 1,417,371st story about Rainbow raising Scootaloo or something similar.
Thanks for the favorite on "A Muffin For Muffins"!
Everyone should have attention.
1541815
You are most welcome. It's always a pleasure to help others develop their craft. I wish you luck for your future stories! Mayhap I'll see you in the Feature Box some day.
1541342
Before I say anything else, I would just like to tell you how much your review here means to me. I've learned a lot about creative writing and writing in general in the last two years, and am still learning, and every piece of advice like this really helps me. Actually, just by rereading my old stories that you've left comments on I've seen places that I've messed up. I never realized just how much I use commas incorrectly, and while I know that I can get pretty dang wordy at times I never noticed just how bad it got (One Small Mistake comes to mind). My writing style is something I still very much struggle with and while I experiment with colors and bold it can get kind of strange.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that my eyes have been opened a bit, and I really, really, really want to thank you for your advice on this. Sincerely, just thank you for your help.
At this point I have read four of your stories and am coming to have a general grasp of your writing style. If I may, I have three points of advice to offer:
1) Use italics for emphasis. I've seen you use bold, but it doesn't always come out right and the more 'elite' critics will call you on it. I like to use the 'Medium Dark' formatting scheme, and sometimes I had to stop and look back to confirm that something was actually in bold.
2) In any story you intend to be taken seriously, never utilize special text fonts like all-caps, different text sizes and alternative colors. Ever. It's jarring and catastrophically hurts the immersion of a story. Stick to italics for emphasis and general descriptions to get your point across.
3) Seek pre-readers and/or editors. While your grammar is generally good, I saw you make many of the same mistakes over and over again (comma usage being a major problem). I think the biggest issue I saw was a tendency to use a lot of words to say very little, and some awkward repetition. A decent editor can find and point these issues out in advance. There are plenty of groups on the site that are gathering spots for editors; make use of them.
Your stories have a lot of potential. All you need is a little polishing on your delivery and you could get a lot more attention. Don't be discouraged by having a low amount of attention. If you're not writing what the fans all want to see, then the only sure way to greatness is saturation: keep putting more material out there and people will start to catch on. The more you write, the more you will be recognized, and you'll find that some people will start doing what I'm doing right now: trying to help. It's not a fast road by any means, but it can be very rewarding if you stick to it.
Or you can take the fast-track and write the 1,417,371st story about Rainbow raising Scootaloo or something similar.