• Member Since 6th Jun, 2019
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wishcometrue


Sweetie Belle is best pony. | Avatar by lilfunkman.

T

Pinkie Pie had a big secret. Twilight wishes it had stayed one.


The original version of this story was an entry to a writeoff round with the prompt Rot.

Thanks to Undome Tinwe, Seer, and KrazyTheFox for editing.

Cover art cropped from a piece by LambiBelle, and it is used with permission. DB: 2273080

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 30 )
Undome Tinwe #1 · June 7th · · 1 · Raw ·

This was unpleasantly visceral. The description and prose is top-notch. This is how you do a Cupcakes fic.

This “Cupcakes” garbage is still a thing?

God damn, this was so real and bloody and visceral. The emotions you capture here are fantastic: the gore isn't even that big of a component which can be a mistake many make in that they focus on a gorefest over a story. But here the story is so tragic and real that it just works. This is an exemplary piece which captures this unique genre perfectly and executes in an unforgiving manner. Great stuff!

This, imo, is exactly what the original Cupcakes story is missing: grounding and consequences.

The gory stuff is fun and all (and you do an absolutely brilliant job with the spine-chilling prose, by the way), but this is what leaves a mark. This is impactful horror and gore. Because it has a firm footing in reality, in the world of the show, and we get to see the blowout aftermath following Pinkie's choices. That's what has the effect of lasting horror, and it's just such a rare gem-- particularly when paired with the more traditional slasher-esque gore in Cupcakes pieces.

Just an incredible job. This is one of those fics that's going to root itself in my psyche for a long time to come. Sorry about that, Pinkie :twilightsheepish:

I quite like this. You’ve taken the comically insane Pinkie Pie and placed her in a grounded reality in a way that doesn’t cheapen the reality but enhances her creepiness. She’s wrong, yes, and the characters and readers alike are given the go ahead to recognize that.

Probably the best sort of sequel a story like Cupcakes could ever have. Bravo!

wishcometrue #6 · June 7th · · 1 · Raw ·

10851313
Thank you for the kind words, as well as all of your help.

10851324
10851339
10851357
I'm really glad you guys enjoyed it. :heart:

The fact that you focus more on the consequences and aftermath of Pinkie's killings, rather than on the blood and gore, makes this stand out quite a bit from the rest of the Cupcakes stories on this site. That alone is worthy of praise, Well done.

This... is probably the closest I'll ever come to liking Cupcakes. Your writing is stellar once again, and I like how it isn't just gore for the sake of it. The characters seem so real, so accurate...

10851403
Same, I went in expecting to hate it but now I kinda just wish it was longer.

Welp, the only problem i see is that Pinkie wasn't up to code. I mean she should have at least washed the room down and thrown away the bad stuff. Its just asking for insects and vermin to infest the good stuff.
Nice story

In a different timeline, this was the first MLP grimdark ever written that spawned a thousand copycats. I'd like to think that was a good timeline.

This was very well written, the scene shift was a little jarring, but I suppose it was intended like that so it worked!

I'd really like to see a small continuation of the alternate ending, maybe several meats with her friend to discuss The Feeling more.

-Brutus #15 · June 8th · · · Raw ·

I don't know why but I felt what Twilight felt throughout this; you did really good job.

10851535
This is one of the most flattering comments I've ever received. Thank you.

10851751
I’d want to see this too. There’ve been a few Killer Twilight stories that have been well-written (and more that aren’t.) One I haven’t seen before is a sadistic/murderous Twilight that actually seeks help for her urges rather than solve it by herself through (understandable) fear of being seen as a monster (and then failing). Maybe a friend or Luna or even a former villain.. That’s just me though, you do you. :raritywink:

As for this story, it’s very well-written and made me feel what Twilight feels. Keep on writing!

I'm not a fan of Cupcakes, but you managed to make it into something very interesting, and genuinely affecting. The psychological angle was super well done, and I only felt a few bits that felt like "telling instead of showing", but the good portions far compensated for that.

10852132
Same here! My pulse raced and I found my breathing had become strained when she had her break down.

The prose and descriptions in this are indeed fantastic and grabbed my attention far better than most. You really got the emotions going, there. The tension, the fear, the nausea.

Nice, not about psychosis but an innate primal instinct of hierarchy. A need really to show that they are higher on the food chain than other's.

This is epic! I'm gonna read it over and over like it's a love note that someone gave me.

It gets first place on my bookshelf. You're fucking beautiful, author.

Yeah, not a fan of the alternate ending. I like your original idea much better.
But why did Celestia show disappointment? Surely she would understand as well as anyone what Twilight was going through. And come to think of it, all three of them combined should've been able to restrain her and take her somewhere else once she started putting up a fight, magic included.

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But why did Celestia show disappointment? Surely she would understand as well as anyone what Twilight was going through.

Maybe Celestia really is disappointed, or maybe Twilight just assumed she is. One of Twilight's greatest fears is disappointing her former mentor, and she isn't exactly in the best mental state at that moment.

And come to think of it, all three of them combined should've been able to restrain her and take her somewhere else once she started putting up a fight, magic included.

I mean, they could have, but why would they? They're worried about her, yes, but all three of them respect her autonomy. In my mind at least, Luna's decision to restrain Twilight was impulsive, and not one she would make if she had thought about it more. Twilight is hurt and scared and confused, and she acted in self-defense. She isn't some dangerous criminal "putting up a fight" that needs to be restrained.

10852677
What are the stories called? If you don't mind me asking?

i dont really like meat it maaekes me nauseous and puke. last time i ate meat i puked

From all the praise I could come up with nothing comes close to what Aurora Dawn 10851357 said. Pinkie Pie was so delightfully both a murderer:pinkiecrazy: and a character from a show for little girls:pinkiehappy:. That is a feat of writing

This is one of the darkest and most mind-twisting stories I've read yet. I felt Twilight's disorientation and my head actually started spinning for a moment, I had to pause reading before continuing.

This is a freaking MASTERPIECE. BRAVO!

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