• Member Since 13th Feb, 2023
  • offline last seen August 10th


FimFic has dragged me back again. Howdy!


It shouldn't have been a big deal. Celestia was kidnapped or knocked out or just generally made to seem powerless by whatever idiot with ill intent decided to show up on a nearly weekly basis. As the mighty and immortal Sun Princess, she could escape at any time, but she was happy to play these little games. The daring rescues and bloodless battles gave her ponies such a sense of confidence and purpose!
But this one didn't go as planned. One small, stupid mistake got her thrown to the twisted reaches of the world-prison, Tartarus. Now alone, unarmed, and barely more than mortal, Celestia wakes in a living landscape where everything has every reason to hate her.
And, far worse, she has accidentally picked up a passenger.

Sidenote: This a repost (I tried to go through official channels, I promise!) of a story I wrote long, long ago on an account I foolishly deleted. Back in those days, Tartarus hadn't shown up in an actual episode yet. It's not exactly an alternate universe situation, but it has nothing to do with the canon portrayal of the place.

Super amazing cover art by Cold In Gardez.

Chapters (29)
Comments ( 108 )

I heartily re-endorse this story. It is one of my all-time faves on this site.

Holy crapola, it's back. There's only one thing for me to do: point everyone to my old review explaining why they should read this story.

Back and on top of my re-read list and the extra will make it even beter.

Welp! Time to re-read this one. It's damn good!

Huzzah! Very excited to see this return!

It's so rare that I get to upvote a first-time story from a brand-new author.

(Shaddap. Let me enjoy the dream.)

Interesting summary, and endorsed by PaulAsaran and Estee?

Ok, now I really need to read this :twilightsmile:

first time reading this! great adventure story. i can tell a lot of love was put into this

This chapter seems to have an error from copying. Right when Luna kills 2 of the bewilderbeasts it starts again from earlier in the chapter.

When death suddenly becomes an issue

Oh wow this story. I didn’t know it was deleted. I thought I didn’t bookmark it or my memory sucked and I couldn’t recall the title but I remembered the cover. A picture really is worth a thousand words.

That said, I honestly don’t remember much of the story, it’s been so many years. I know Twilight goes to hell and has to friendship her way out but everything else including the details is just a blur. Maybe a second time around will leave a stronger impression.

Fascinating, a most elegant solution to that most implausible of mythic beings.

I'm loving how this is turning out. After hearing so many laud this story as one of the old greats of the site, I can see why.

A few typos to point out, but nothing major enough to detract from the story.

“Alas, for all our efforts, there were creatures we could never reach, people who just would not to cooperate.”

Twilight couldn’t be sure of what emotions were running through Celestia’s head right now, but one of them was almost certainly recognition. She wasn’t sure if Celestia were scared, or sad, or angry, or all three, but she had definitely seen this place before.

Should be 'was' I believe.

Twilight sidled up next to Celestia and looked around. The place was a bigger than she’d thought. It was a hilly field, spotted with trees, maybe a hundred yards to ? side.

Seems like a missing word here. Maybe 'each' or 'either' depending on what you were going for.

It took time for us to figure out that they weren’t accidents at all. Far too much time." Her voice was quiet, distant. "Once upon a time, we made expeditions here. We even tried to form a colonies, if you can believe that.

Should be 'a colony' or 'form colonies' depending on intent.

She felt Ben tense up on her back, but he, too, stayed put. The reassured her, somehow.

Should be 'this' or 'that'.

Ayy, welcome back! Does this mean we'll be getting that fabled sequel?

You write a glorious Luna you know, one of the best I've seen.

Comment posted by Miskr deleted April 29th

I, uh...really? Dang. That is legitimately inspiring to hear. But also...
Why am I unable to see these!? I re-read the whole Goddess-Damned story before re-posting and *grumble grumble grumble.*
Anyway, glad you liked it! And thanks for your help! All typos totally fixed forever.

Dag nabit. Thanks for letting me know. Fixed! Hopefully! I was out and about tonight...

:twilightsmile: Luna ended up being my favorite character to write, so it's super-awesome that people liked her, monster though she may be.

I, as someone who disdains overuse of the word literally, literally lack the capacity to express how amazing this review is. Take it away, Big Mac. :eeyup:

So, uh, sorry for having taken the story down. I didn't think anybody would even notice. Y'all are amazing.


*A long time ago, in a FIMFiction far more active than today*

I feel a great disturbance in the Horse. As if tens of thousands of words just cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.


*Present Day*

I didn't think anybody would even notice.


Gosh, death sure is inconvenient, isn't it? You gotta expend all of that energy just to not die. Whew. Must be nice to be an all-powerful immortal god.

Must suck to be a Twilight.

Wait. This up and poofed at some point?! Why hadn't I noticed? It's so heckin' goooood!


"I sense a great lack of disturbance in the herd, as though millions of ponies who had been crying out in terror suddenly realised that the terror had passed. I feel that something wonderful has happened."
-pony Obi-Wan, or somethin'. I dunno'


P.S. Thanks for bringing this back, Joe, even if you don't do anything else with it. Your story is seriously very, very good.

Oof. Maybe playing the pretend game for so long wasn`t a good idea.


Well, that's gotta be a killer-spider, right?

Yeah, not bad.

Damn, Celestia new has the quest "To deliver yourself and a companion alive without death"

Twilight stared at the ground, trying to breathe, pretending she was a normal pony and not a total spazz.

Now that I'd like to see. Best of luck to you, Twi!

For the best probably. Twilight had eventually gotten over it, more or less. Sure, she still had a thing for leggy mares with multi-color manes, but really, who didn't

Um... Normal ponies, maybe? I know I'm not into leggy, rainhow-maned ponies.

And the worst part? Twilight just knew Celestia would feel terrible if she found out. So they couldn’t even talk about it.

Must be nice being an all-knowing demigod. Shame it complicated relationships.

Celestia watched as Twilight’s happy enthusiasm dissolved into confusion. She hated the necessity of it, but she had to get this through.

Goodbye, innocence!

“Is that a spider?”

It's a star spider! We've seen these in the overworld before.

Celestia managed to hide a shudder as the creature chittered happily. She knew dream-spinners were friendly, but she could just never get used to the hairy little weirdos. It was probably why Luna loved them so much…

And without her even making an appearance, we already get to know a little more about Luna, and it's hilarious. Definitely a Luna thing to do.

And no sign of the fallen tree they’d left behind only moments before.

Oh shit. Now they're being stalked by a tree.


Okay, so avoid sheds, graveyards, abandoned houses in the woods, and friendly strangers with exaggerated friendliness.

A bone-deep chill shook her at what she saw: a six-pointed star, surrounded by five more.

Are you sure this is a safe space? I mean, it's not unheard of to die in the Firelink Shrine.

“Nothing he’s ever going to get, Twilight.”


Twilight Sparkle, Goddess of Friendship, stared out into the impossible landscape of Tartarus, taking a deep breath.

“Alright then,” she said. “Let’s go make some friends!”


Noticed a few on the previous chapter as well, but would have to re-read from scratch to find them all again. I'll be sure to let you know if I find any more once I pick up the rest of the chapters :twilightsmile:

I vaguely remember reading this.

Congratulations, your story is now about shoehorned romance rather than about perilous adventure it was before.

Heh. Yeah, I may have fallen victim to Shipper's disease for a bit. So it goes.

Your words spun my mind in fun directions. Thank you!

Never read the original, but I gorged this beast in one day and that's probably the most praise I can give a long story. Great work!

This definitely, completely, needs the alternate universe tag. Celestia isn't that strong. There is a lot about Celestia that is off the mark...

I haven't left a comment in gods knows how long, but I can hardly denigrate myself for breaking that silence, such as it was, for a fascinating tale as novel to me as this was. Frankly put, this story is one of the most enrapturing and impactful stories (certainly the most, as far as this site goes) I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Perhaps one day I might leave a proper review, holding more content than some banal platitudes, but as it stands, know that you have rekindled in me a love long forgotten for ancient mythos, the nature of divinity, and more I have yet to grasp the words for. Thank you, truly, for republishing this story; I'll certainly be looking forward to reading more of your work in the future.

It's mentioned in the description.

finally... i was scouring the net for the past year and a half for this story

This is an amazing story, it was good enough for me to binge read every chapter.

I thought, but I never really did come up with a good third idea, so I defaulted to a shape-shifting centipede monster that was Cottos.

The moment Cottos showed up, it reminded me of this boss from Alundra:

Oh man, I was just looking for this story last month, didn't find it, and had a bit of a panic attack.

I don't have time to pick up a new story right now because I'm the middle of writing a mess of final papers for my classes, but I will be saving this for a re-read once the semester lets out.

Well, just spent the last 8 hours reading through this. That was super awesome.

If you do decide to write more, you've got a new fan.

Maggot cheese is also apperantly kinda dangerous if I remember.right.

Love this fic happy to see it back however just a quick problem it says at the her peers here

“Oh. Um. Okay.” Twilight gingerly lifted the letter in her magic, glancing apologetically at the her peers. Perhaps she should have offered to let them read over her shoulder, but she hated that and curiosity already had its claws in her. She popped the seal (a simple, white circle) and started reading. The missive wasn’t long, but she dropped it in a matter of seconds. She and ran to Briareos and buried him, big as he was, in a hug.

Otherwise glad the fics back :)

Another great chapter. I was wondering when Twilight would have her first real eye-opening to how brutal Tartarus is. Unfortunately, it seems she wasn't quite ready to see how brutal her beloved mentor can be. Shock is one heck of a drug, but I didn't expect it to make her flee blindly away from her only friend in this place. Hopefully Celestia can catch up before something else finds her.

Time for more error fixes:

She heard something behind her, a short, questioning noise, but that probably wasn’t important. She just really needed to see what this thing in front of her was right now. What shape was it, even, or color?

As they crashed to the ground, she charged a third, horn burning with magic. It grinned and broke its own rush, dropping to the ground, just under her bolt of flame.

A wyrdwolf, one of the hound’s mutant, wizard things.

Should be (hounds') I think?

And then she was running. Trees whipped by, shrubs broke under her as she ran, and *blinked*, and flew, and she had no idea where she was going and it didn't matter as long as it was away. She just had to keep going, keep moving.

Twilight probably should have tossed that silver snake (I don't suppose you're a Legends of the Hidden Temple fan?) into the water. Of course, she still hasn't let go of her kind, merciful nature, so actually harming an opponent is probably beyond her. Hopefully this decision won't literally come back and bite her later.

Some more issues I noticed:

She sat in the dark and silence for a moment more, letting herself berate herself, allowing it to happen and accepting that it would pass. And then, surprisingly quickly, it did.

Between this and the last chapter, a lot of 'to's are missing, it seems.

Right then.

Okay, enough of that! Plenty of time to worry over it after I figure out what to do!

This is more of a style issue, so feel free to disregard, but I feel like these should be italicized to show that they are her thoughts rather than part of the narration.

Twilight searched the area quickly. There wasn’t much to see, other than rock walls and dust, and then headed straight to the water.

Another style issue. If I'm bordering on nit-picking, just whack my fingers with a ruler and I'll stop harping on things like this. I think 'and then headed straight to the water' doesn't work on its own for the sentence it's with. Maybe attaching it to the previous sentence (For example 'Twilight searched the area quickly— there wasn't much to see, other than rock walls and dust —and then headed straight to the water.) would work?

Twilight chose to ignore that she had no idea where she was or how to find Celestia once she made it back to the surface, because frankly there was nothing she could do about those things right now.

So far I can see why PaulAsaran recommended this so highly. Your prose, character writing, and worldbuilding are all excellent. You've also struck that golden area of tonal balance between comedy and horror. My one critique so far is that the action scenes are a bit difficult to follow. A bit more description of where everyone is relative to eachother and the space would probably fix it.

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