• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Corejo


A good story isn't measured by how long it is, but by how long it stays with you.

E
Source

Come closer here—my heart, my host.
Come closer. Hear my heart, my host,

Is only staid with presence close.
Were love a potion, ample dose.

My night-ful bride, I need your boon.
My baleful bride, I need you soon:

For what’s eclipsed by half a moon?


[Cover art by by tractareSolidum
Now featured in the Royal Canterlot Library!]

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 27 )

You should fulltime as a poet.

Or a songwriter.

~Skeeter The Lurker

...I am 100% being serious about that, by the way.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I don't normally read poetry, but this isn't half bad.

I have to say that's good. I'm glad I read through this.

RQK

I normally stray from poems as well
Longer forms are what I desire
But I found these entries oh so swell
Burning with a poetic fire

Come closer here—my heart, my host.
Come closer. Hear my heart, my host,

These lines are golden, truly they are
They caught my eye, and they were so brave
Good poetry, this piece is by far
So have yourself a like and a fave

Got moved to tears more than once, beautiful poetry, both of them. Though I'll admit to enjoying the second one a bit more than the first

Excellent work. Only the second poem on here that hasn't caused my eyes to glaze over.

This is a great take on Luna's temptation. It is not primarily anger our jealousy, but a yearning to be loved, that causes her downfall, so it makes sense that that is what the nightmare would tempt her with. That the nightmare has a limited range of emotion lends an element of tragedy, as Luna looks back and sees and must reject a creature that was in a similar place that she was once herself. But, she is powerless to show kindness to it, as, unlike her, it cannot grow and overcome petty lusts.

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7216924
Glad you enjoyed it! But you guys do realize it's all one story, right? The chapters are just scene breaks.

This was a very interesting take on NMM and Luna. :rainbowderp:

And there was poetry! :heart:

I'm happy to see someone on this site doing poems! I think a lot of us get negative impressions from them early on in life because of our... English classes, but this is great! I love reading poetry and I thank you for putting some on this site (It could bare to get a bit more cultured). It's a shame fimfiction caps stories at a thousand words, though, because I feel like these poems could've done better if they were shorter. The more concrete something is, the less you repeat yourself, and the more depth you can put into fewer words than necessary. Which in a sense is what poetry is all about and why I love reading it for its simplicity yet complexity. Some of which is here, but I would say the extension of the words here can lead to some boredom. Furthermore, I don't know about you, but it seems OOC for Nightmare Moon to be all buddy buddy with Luna. You know, body possession and all that by an evil spirit equals love seems... Mmmmm... Not really grasping it there. Still, I enjoyed reading it and thought it was great despite the little things I picked out of it.

Jealousy and a yearning for adoration. Makes sense that the Nightmare would have a mature that appealed to such needs.

Yandere!NMM is now my headcanon.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Who-ho-hoa! Insert Celestia's Ballad here, this is some of the best poetry I've ever read in this fandom! :D

Found this by way of Vicodin's reading...holy crap this is terrific. This may well be the best epic poem I've seen come out of this fandom. OK DO MORE NOW

7290479
I would love to do another long-form poem like this. Just need to come up with a story first! :twilightblush:

Little bit of a nitpick:

‘Tis ours, my Luna. Ours alone.
‘Tis ours upon obsidian throne.

When you have an elision, such as "tis," you need an apostrophe, but you're using an opening single quotation mark instead.

If you're using "unsmart" quotes, then typographically the opening single quotation mark and the apostrophe are visually equivalent. But if you're using smart quotes, as you are, you have to be careful you use an actual apostrophe instead of an opening single quotation mark—because, with smart quotes, they're not equivalent!

Properly punctuated, this quote would read:

’Tis ours, my Luna. Ours alone.
’Tis ours upon obsidian throne.

They look similar in the typesetting of this comment, but trust me they're different (copy this comment and paste it into a word processor to see).

7290479 Wrong, my friend, this is by far the best poetry I've ever read, it's flow and construction trump even Edgar Allan Poe's masterpiece, Annebel Lee it's simply phenomenal I hope to see more from this author in the near future ~ChuckHorsis martial arts legend and watcher of candy colored equines.

Has anybody done a good reading of this yet?

For some reason, I always find poems dry and tedious to read, regardless of how good they are. Listening to a poem, on the other hand, is much more enjoyable - despite the fact that when it comes to prose, I absolutely despise audiobooks.
Since this piece has been so highly praised I would love to enjoy a proper reading of it myself.

How is this fanfiction?!

(That's an exclamation of astounded befuddlement.)

Masterful. It's always such a delight seeing somebody tell a story not just with words or their order, but also how they're written. Thank you for the opportunity to read this.

This feels very Jacobean--reminds me of The Collar, in fact.

And someone else knows what a refrain really is, and how it works. In-teresting.

:twilightblush: *glances longingly at senpai*

(And yes, I am totally going to Never The Final Word that, if you're okay with it.)

Instantly subscribed. The power and beauty of this was completely unexpected, and i thank you for it.

7498385
We've got some really good authors writing pony things. :yay:

Because I have nearly zero experience with poetry, I can't really say anything in terms of critical analysis. All I can offer is the sense of awe and sorrow that I felt when reading it. This is a beautiful poem, with simple but classic story in its structure. I'm not about to start preferring poetry over prose, but if we had more poetry like this on the site then I'd certainly entertain giving it a shot every once in awhile.

Thank you.

Wow. This is sublime work.

I really wish I had more to say, but I'm speechless in that way one often is after reading a masterpiece.

This is beautuful. The idea of nightmare being Luna's lover is fascinating, and the poetry is just sublime. The way you maintain the same the same syllable and rhyme scheme through the thole thing, and yet weave the verses(?) together and hold them apart to make the rise and fall of emotion... Just truly wonderful

Nightmare's rant near the begining was especially clear to me; I could just hear the power and desire rising up in its voice, gaining power until the final release of WE ARE NIGHTMARE!

I definitely will be reading this again someday.

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