• Member Since 1st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Friday

BlazzingInferno


Engineer, Brony, Aspiring Author. Not necessarily in that order.

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Rainbow Dash receives a love letter from a secret admirer, and isn’t quite sure how to take it. What kind of pony sends stuff like this? Why can’t they just tell her to her face?
Thunderlane, meanwhile, isn’t sure starting this game was the smartest of ideas.


The (extremely short) original version of the story, which became the first chapter of this one, was written for The Writeoff Association's January 2015 contest, "All In"

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 45 )

This was as silly and cute as as I remember it being. :twilightsmile:
Can't wait for the rest.

Edit: errors fixed! :yay:

5616873
Thanks for pointing those out!
Loose/Lose is something I still haven't learned to catch myself on… Same goes for smart-quotes messing up my slang :fluttershysad:

I bet that Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser are spreading the word.

Hm. This seems promising. :trixieshiftright:

Thunderlane and Ditzy stood on the front porch, listening to what sounded like Rainbow dumping the contents of her pantry on the floor. He flicked a wing across the back of her head and sighed. “Did you really have to use me as the example?”

Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time, Thunderlane.

Hmn, or maybe that was the right place at the right time.

I'd suggest a Wonderbolts race, my lovestruck stallion friend. :twilightsmile:

Rainbow will have to tell her friends or Rarity's gossiping and/or Pinkie's Pinkie Senses will set it off.

5620157 The two combined would be disastrous .

This is too cute not to track, you have a like from me. :scootangel:

Man, he is going to be in so much trouble when he tells that funny story. But it's definitely better to tell it, honesty will serve much better in this than keeping it a secret and Dash accidentally finding out at some later point.

:rainbowlaugh: Ohmigosh, Dashie is in for a shock!

Well... that went well...

I bet Rainbow won't find this "funny story" very funny... :rainbowlaugh:

good job thunderlane, you caught her on her period.

Sorry it took so long. But I'm here now. And this is cute. *tee hee*

looser

Still struggling with that, huh?
I'ma read the rest now. :yay:

Nice way to end it. A story like this really shouldn't drag on, unless you wanted it to. You totally could, but the whole point of the fic has been and gone. We just get the amusing ending. Now I just have to wonder how the date will go... but that's another story and shall (or not) be told another time.
So, sequel?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

“Is it the second cousin I ordered?”

I love this line.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This moves a little fast, but I like what you did with it. :)

5658036
Struggling? More like it has me in a headlock :fluttershyouch:
I finally had a free moment to fix that (for the second time). Thanks again for pointing it out!

5663344
That line and the one after it are my favorites


5663377
Every time I thought about making it longer, Twilight would drop in and say "you know it's turning into You've Got Mail, right?"
:twilightblush:
I agree it could stand to be a bit longer. I was determined to have the final chapter appear on Valentines day, and this was the result.

Thanks for reading!

There should be a sequel to this. I really want to see how that date turned out :rainbowlaugh:.

Aaawww, this was a cute fic! I really enjoyed it.

Short but cute. The resolution was a bit rushed - I kinda wanted to see Rainbow's reaction to finding out Thunderlane wrote the letters. Still, nice to see a love story with actual conflict and tension that still isn't too complicated or drawn out.

That was cute and funny! :rainbowlaugh:

Hehe! This is great! Why I have a feeling that Thunderlane will screw up? :rainbowhuh:

Awww very cute and funny!

Okay, this was wholeheartedly cute and fun to read, as short as it is. It flowed well, gave the right amount of details, and a great pairing to boot. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Derpy and Thunderlane rock!

“You’re the best cousin ever, Thunderlane!”

best cousin ever]

cousin

33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mva418RdEW1r26p5fo1_1382795757_cover.jpg

6077556 you're not alone. We all do. After all it is Thunderlane's we're talking about here XD

Damn-
I made a story like this not too long ago, just with Fluttershy
We had the same idea-I'm literally screaming.
Coincidence? I think not :rainbowhuh:

8503177
Huh, maybe we have some common source of inspiration, like a shared like in a TV show or something :raritywink:

...Oh, that was beautiful.

The only thing I can pick on is not seeing Rainbow's reaction at the end - but I'm not sure if that would improve the story or kill the mood, depending on how it was written.

At least her doorstep was a nice enough place to wait. No matter what anypony thought of Rainbow Dash, there was one indisputable point: being the captain of the weather team paid well. Instead of an earth-bound cottage, she had a little patch of Cloudsdale all to herself, complete with rainbow waterfalls. This was the home of a pegasus with real taste in architecture.

Not only that the coolest house I ever seen my entire life

This is pretty interesting start here so thunderlane want to check up on rainbow dash and Derpy was there as well and she was cleaning up the house rainbow got a love note from a secret admire and she really wants to find out but it looks like derpy and thunder Lane kind of figure out who it is well this should be very interesting

She was halfway across town before he could speak. “It’s… It’s me, Rainbow Dash… Where in Equestria am I going to take you on a date?”

You're too slow Thunder Lane :facehoof:

Well then things could have gone a little bit better so it looks like thunder Lane has been coming up with a lot of letters to say to Rainbow then Derpy arrived to get the letter from him but until Rainbow Dash came here and ask thunderlane to come with her he really want to tell her the mysterious Pony but rainbow was just so impatient she really wants to know this guy and of course he choke Thunder Lane you better say something

Boy that was pretty sad Thunder Lane was about to go and see Rainbow Dash but unfortunately Derpy just showed up and told him about she will probably lose her job after what happened to the mail so he decided to stay with her until she falls asleep and he really wants to help her he went out to check if rainbow is still out there but unfortunately she's not there but they heard that she went back home very upset and his fear was coming true that rainbow was pretty hurt that the mysterious Pony did not return the mail to her and she thinks she was tricked and now Thunder Lane felt even worse I wonder how is he going to make it up

Well that was a pretty short story but I think that was pretty good so it looks like Thunder Lane felt really guilty what happened to Rainbow Dash and she hasn't been showing up at work same with him as well but at least Derpy is doing okay she can still keep a job but suddenly Rainbow Dash show up on his doorstep and surprisingly she wants to ask him on a date which he accepted it which I think this was pretty nice this was good keep up the good work

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