Once a month, there's this mare that comes to the park. She's absolutely beautiful, and I can't help but to watch her.
I've long lost the source for the cover art.
Edited by Magistrix.
Chapters (6)
- Member Since 31st Mar, 2014
- offline last seen Dec 10th, 2022
Sleepy Panda
Some people are morning birds, other people are night owls. Me? I'm some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.
Sleepy Panda
Joined 31st Mar, 2014 ·
Offline
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Twitchy Tail!!!
A sweet story, to be sure. I'll keep track of it.
Although, one thing does need to be said.
I'm containing my inner grammar Nazi.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/379997__safe_twilight%2Bsparkle_animated_meme_image%2Bmacro_twiface_wrong%2Bneighborhood_vibrating_descriptive%2Bnoise_x%2Bintensifies.gif
6114601 Fixed. At least, I think I fixed it.
I love this story! Glad to see you back Sleepy!
6114618 Thanks.
6114626 God damn it, Sleepy Panda!
When you commented on one of my stories before, why didn't you tell me you could write good stuff like this!?!
I feel like I missed out on something huge here! Next time, you inform me directly when you write a new fanfic, you got that? I don't want to miss out on any more good fanfics from you, sir/madam!
You may resume your normal duties, soldier! Dismissed!
6114980 Thank you. Your comment made my day.
I shall do that.
6114986 Thank you. Your response made my night. :)
Now go do that. XD
It was a really good chapter.
But it's everyPONY. Just sayin.
6115135 'Everyone' is acceptable too. Unless I accidentally said 'everybody'?
love it!!!
moar please
Aww, so cute so far!
Just finished reading this second chapter, can't wait to read more! Great stuff! Keep up the good work! (Derpy's always been my favorite pony, anyway. Derpy is Best Pony!)
A cute story with Derpy. Worth a look, seeing that she is my favorite background pony.
6114601
Grammar Nazis are needed in great abundance on the site. My stories alone show proof of that.
6117917 So true.
Oh geez, my heart.
What you do well here is make the characters believable in such a short amount of time. They're easily relatable, so I'm quick to care for them or to want to strangle Thunderlane. And the silent protagonist? Well, you've done a great job getting into their thoughts as well.
I also love the way you set your scenes. Keep on writing! You're doing a fantastic job!
Seems pretty good so far. I'll keep an eye on this.
I've been enjoying this thus far. Your Derpy is great, and I wanna see who our narrator turns out to be.
This story is back. Yay!
Yay! April! I really enjoy this story and look forward to the longer, more complex chapters.
Also, the word counts make me happy.
I'm really getting some stalker vibes from this MC, though that may just be me.
Yeah. Definitely stalker vibes.
This is going to be interesting, especially since this is from the MC's perception of the events taking place so any amount of it could be biased towards his PoV instead of what's really happening.
7604849 You seem very observant. I don't think everyone has caught onto that yet as I've only been subtly hinting at it.
7604886 I've read a story (on fanfiction.net) that had a similar thing going on by using the First Person PoV to twist the readers perception of the events without them realizing (though they only used it to give a reason as to why the MC didn't realize someones feelings for them).
You are only the second person I've ever seen use it, if I hadn't read that story before this I probably never would have noticed, you did a great job being subtle about it.
7604977 Thank you.
I just love the whole concept of the narrator not being entirely reliable with what they tell the audience. I've found it's fun to write as well.
Glad to see this back!
I also got some serious stalker vibes from April. I think I had kind of wondered before what the narrator was up to, but it seemed a lot less obvious that he was stalking.
Of course stalking's not good on the one hoof, but on the other hoof it could make for some interesting interactions in the later months...
7606362 I have some ideas in mind for how the story will progress. Next chapter will probably be focused more on who exactly our narrator is.
Love it, can't wait for the next chapter!
Bang
7726259
You should really make me stop being so lazy with this, eh. I'm probably the laziest writer ever.
7726272 It made the featured list.
6115176 A nice display of the Unreliable Narrator trope. Well done.
7726272
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/54245314.jpg
Featured. Good work btw, but now the protagonist sounds like a bad pony. He has a wife!?! Really?!?
Oh snap, now we know a lot more about this guy, and it's a mix of creepy and interesting. Want more.
Good chapter. I think it was a good time to mix things up, though I'm looking forward to getting back to the park.
7726654
Thanks! I'll try not to procrastinate so much on the next chapter.
That's not cool man
June at last! Best month.
I like how each chapter becomes more layered and complex.
I just realized what you're doing with the chapter word count. That or it's a hell of a coincidence that they keep lining up perfectly like that.
8059357
Makes editing awfully tedious, though.
It's intentional.
7604826
I was thinking the same thing. Especially this bit:
Sure, you just happen to know so much about these ponies' personal lives, Mr. Narrator. Suuuuuure...
Interesting. Still not entirely sure what's really going on, but it's nice to see that Derpy isn't as weak or helpless as the narrator assumed.
Man. Thunderlane clearly isn't a nice guy here, but the narrator just pulled the spa equivalent of a dine-and-dash.
Whatever mess this degenerates into, I hope Derpy comes out okay.
I didn't catch this when it updated. Good chapter, though! Looking forward to seeing how things continue to develop.
Um... When is this gonna be updated?
8846526
Possibly never. Maybe this summer.
I don’t really do much writing anymore but I could try.