• Member Since 6th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen April 26th

TheNewYorkBrony


The name's Dash. (Previously Ronnie) And I write humanized pony stories. Welcome to my humble page.

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Source

Sunset and Adagio explain to Human Twilight what they are and where they came from.

She doesn't take it very well.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 71 )

Technically, the sun does move, and I believe Adagio would likely be older than 1000 years.

Aside from the nitpicking, it was cute, even if the dialogue war got a bit grating towards the end.

I never saw the movie, and really have no plans to, but before it even came out, I was aware that the Dazzlings were not ever ponies. Yet it seems that 99% of the fandom is unaware of that fact. I only read this to see if you were that elusive 1%, so thank you for the rare treat.

Apparently Twilight isn't a fan of the multiverse theory. :raritywink:

Also, Twilight is a really bad princess of friendship if she just insults people who don't have friends like that. :ajbemused:

That's pretty funny.
Not that I'm greedy or anything, but you could have been to ask me if you can use the image.

Twilight insulted by herself? Whoa... Anyway, this is pretty funny.

5516177
I also think that Alternative Universe tag is wrong, since fanfic doesn't change canon events

5516090 It's different if you were insulting yourself, if you can't be honest with you who can you be honest with?

Comment posted by TheNewYorkBrony deleted Jan 17th, 2015

That was funny. Would have been even funnier if human twilight kicked the portal and fell through it.

Well, that's one way to do it. Would've been funnier if Pony!Twilight had passed through the portal and given Human!Twilight a jump scare, but that's just my humble opinion.

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5516413 both of these are glorious. Too bad i was half asleep when i wrote this. I would have used at least one

Some pretext would have been nice.

5516427
You made my day just by writing that.
There is always room for more chapters...

5516427 Eh, don't worry. Your story, your decisions, and it's decent as is.

Well, one quibble that I should've mentioned; where you used the word 'sentient', you probably should've used 'sapient'.

hm...this should be interesting

I like the premise of this and the direction it takes, but it saddens me that it is just a one-shot
What brings about Sunset telling Human Twilight everything?
Why bring one of the sirens into it?

Not exactly important-How can Pony Twilight read English? (which she did so in the library at Canterlot High in the first movie)

I just have so many questions and may just even make my own fic to answer them

Twilight blinked. "Did...Did I just get insulted....By myself?"

:facehoof: I am never going to live this down...

5516604
I advise re-watching Ponyville Confidential a little more closely again.

Shame it's only a one shot, this is REALLY entertaining!

Dear Twilight,
I am writing to you to show you that Sunset Shimmer is not lying. Everything she is saying is true, and you should listen to her. Also, get some friends. Being a social shut in isn't fun.
Twilight blinked. "Did...Did I just get insulted....By myself?"

My favorite part of the story. :rainbowlaugh:

Too forced, too rushed, too derivative, doesn't really feel like a story in its own right.

5516016 You beat me to it! I was going to say the sun wobbles and zooms through the galaxy.

5518498 I thought the story was alright, but Twilight doesn't react how a true scientist would. I would explain more, but I've been commenting all night and I can't even think straight.

I was a bit disappointed in this one. It sets up an interesting premiss, but never actually does anything with it. It feels more like a first chapter than a short story.

I have to agree with the majority in the fact that this either needs more or continued in chapters. Overall it is a wonderful idea that could be expanded upon later, but needs expansion.

Poor Human Twilight. Being the only sane one in two universes.
Have a mustache good author :moustache:

5520380 there will be second chapter that expands on this idea more.

You had me curious. Now, I am intrigued.

A nice oneshot, but I prefer a more serious take on this concept.

Twilight snorted. "Oh so now you're going to tell me hippocampi exist?!

Twi, if your hippocampus doesn't exist, you need to see a brain surgeon ASAP. Write it down because, well, you're not going to remember to.

I'll be honest here, I went against the grain and gave this a thumbs down. There's just no context for why they're doing this. How did Human!Twilight and Sunset meet? Why did she bring Adagio? Why did Adagio even agree to come? She's clearly still evil (still thinks of torturing seaponies as fun) and still seems to begrudge the heroes. Neither of them have any motivation to say this, either. I can't imagine Sunset would like even more people to know her shame, and why would Adagio care enough to say anything at all?

Some of this could be forgiven if the comedy was handled well, but it's really just kind of flat.

now that message from Twilight to Twilight. Is that really an insult or just a self-recrimination? :trollestia:

Nice one. Looking forward to more if you are still planning on that.

X3 Why is twilight believing sunset shimmer?

She's from a different world, a world full of sapient ponies.

Two spaces instead of one

Pegusai control the weather and the moon and the sun don't rotate on their own?!

*Pegasi

Yeah. This is hilarious! I love the Aquastria idea!

I was searching for a story specifically about Human Twilight finding out about the magical stuff, and found this. I love the concept, obviously, but it's underdeveloped and reads like either a first draft or a short chapter of a larger story. For example, we don't know why Sunset and "Dagi" are friends now, or how they came in contact with Human Twilight. Also, some of the dialog feels a bit forced. "What's next?! Pegusai control the weather and the moon and the sun don't rotate on their own?!" seems too wildly insightful for Twi; it's more like something Pinkie would say.

Love the idea. Execution could use some work. Maybe a touch of fleshing out. Perhaps some video footage of one of the incidents in question. Both took place in front of a bunch of High School Teens. Don't even think of telling me not one of them didn't record at least one of those with a phone.

5741355 Fair enough, though if we're operating under Dresden style magic, technology might have been failed, though I seem to recall most of them being mind-controlled at the time. On the other hand, since they all seem to remember what happened, it could be that technology just didn't record it. Not unlike vampires not having a reflection.

one of the best idea i have seen

Are you planning on expanding this series, because if you are, then you should do it. It would be awesome for Twilight and her friends to actually team up and work together.

-The Character

"When you put it that way, it almost sounds asinine and half assed."
"That's because it is!" Twilight shouted and Adagio deadpanned in unison.

lol a hippocampus thingy... I actually looked this up, having forgotten 'hippocampus' refers to more than just brains.
"There's good magic and there's bad magic." I don't know if I agree with this premise... it seems less the nature of the magic and more the direction of its use. I'd think hippocampi magic and unicorn magic could possibly be used as a division, but Sunset has unicorn magic... and both corrupted the magic of friendship/harmony to wield as their own.
Sapient v sentient: 'sapient' is definitely the more correct word, but there is use for how widely-known 'sentient' is
what others said about showing evidence: Rainbow Dash (or someone) had a video of the transformation on her phone... could've been used.
I really liked this, for all the flaws mentioned in the comments of others. I didn't find issue with the dialogue or the humor, but I am curious about the motive (for everyone involved), Adagio doesn't seem to have much reason to be there and feels like a prop. I think I saw something about upcoming chapters though and that's exciting because this has potential to go anywhere and that'd be amazing. :eeyup:

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