A collection of short stories about ponies on Earth.
Simon and Twilight: Arrested with Twilight [Comedy] [Twilight]: An innocent road trip with a curious pony has an unfortunate outcome.
Simon and Twilight: Bacon [Comedy] [Twilight]: Twilight's unfamiliarity with Earth leads to her making an unfortunate culinary choice.
Lyra Cosplays Herself [Comedy] [Lyra]: On another adventure on Earth, Lyra decides to go to a convention as herself.
A Visionary Flood of Alcohol [Comedy] [Berry Punch]: While searching through her wardrobe for the last bottle of brandy, Berry Punch insteads finds herself in a strange new land . . . with a well-stocked liquor cabinet.
The Shortest PoE Story Ever [Dark Comedy] [Anon]: I regret nothing.
Big Mac Eats a Big Mac [Comedy]: Pretty much exactly what you're expecting.
I like it.
D'oh
Wait wait wait. Back up a minute. You're saying that TV programs are not, in fact, all documentaries? Not even Game of Thrones? My whole life is a lie!
I figured that was going to occur (no clothes). I wonder what charge they would levy on you though for having a naked 15 year old in your car. I don't think that should of necessity merit an immediate handcuffing. It would certainly merit interest though.
Time for Twilight to bust out the memory spell, I guess, set on "erase". :)
I like it. I love the way you do humans and ponies together, if you wrote and onto the pony planet reversed, some onto the human planet thing. I would read the fuck out of it.
4832068
Thanks!
4832112
Pretty much.
4832158
I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but it's true.
4832174
Depending on the jurisdiction that in and of itself may not be illegal. Twilight wasn't forced, so if there were any charges they'd go against her, not Simon.
I think the situation would raises so many red flags that the prudent police officer would handcuff Simon and sit him in the back of the cruiser while he was waiting for backup and getting Twilight's story.
4832407
Because of course Twilight would know the "Mares in Black" neuralizer spell.
Oh, now you've given me an idea.
4832463
That might be something that I'd do. One of these days.
Rainbow Dash and kitchen sink OTP.
4833377
I read a story like that once...
4833393 Exactly.
Nope, too ridiculous.
4833180
If you wanted to put Twilight in the cruiser, you could. As you said, there is nothing obvious to charge Simon with. In that case, handcuffing him is out of bounds, and is the kind of thing that ends up on bad videos about police.
So long as they obey orders (just sit and be quiet until backup arrives) there is no reason to handcuff the guy.
In fact, with the officer alone, I would be more worried that the minor would RUN, possibly hurting herself, etc. while I was handcuffing the guy/moving him to the squad car. So long as he is there with his eyes on both of them, he is in charge of the situation. Cuffing the guy temporarily puts him out of charge.
If only you were in Britain, you don't need to outrun the police here. If you drive on the pavement, reverse or squeal your tyres, their health and safety rules will make them discontinue. They have to fulfil 16 different criteria before they can even pull a car over. Seriously, I once saw those guys give up because the perp was bounding over speed bumps and they were too worried about their car.
Side note - Star Wars is a documentary though, right?
Right?!
This is why I hope I never have any trouble with the police, because I have a certified mental disorder of the most .. annoying? sort.
Any social interactions I have are all fake, computed in real time with limited resurces. Under stress, that processor folds, and Im left being as dumb as a bag of zombie badgers. Given Ive just been reacting normally, it immediately makes anyone else highly offended, thinking Im being the smart guy etc, which nudges them in the direction that causes more stress, and recursive Catch 22 engages, and has been known to near epileptic fit. As well as giving me a greatly increased temperature due to runaway processing.
I want to get one of those nice social computers that can take the Turing test instead. At least they can pass it.
You missed a quotation mark at the end of this sentence.
That picture is a serial killer's kitchen. I mean seriously. There is NOTHING on those pristine white counter-tops. Everything is squirreled away. I bet the fridge has human hearts in zip lock bags.
Oh and the fic was a'ight too. I guess.
4833485
If you wanted to put Twilight in the cruiser, you could.
The cop's got a good case for child endangerment, especially since Twilight isn't related to Simon. From the cop's point of view, the whole scene stinks, and it would be prudent to get Simon away from Twilight. When he's cuffed and in the car, he can't do anything until more police arrive, and then they'd start questioning. If he locks Twilight in the police car and then Simon overpowers him, Twilight's no better off than she was before (as far as the cop knows).
Actually, if they have reason to believe that a crime has been committed, they can hold you for a while. I'm not sure how long it is, but trust me, it's at least overnight.
He might have a weapon in the car, and he might go for it while the cop's distracted with Twilight.
That's possible, but unlikely. In the cop's mind (based on the situation) Simon is most likely the criminal and Twilight's the victim.
4833640
High speed pursuits are not as popular over here, either, because of the liability. That having been said, they still do them with some frequency on the county and state level, but most local departments won't even try.
Also, I hate to disappoint you with Star Wars, but....
4833857
Fixed! Thanks!
4834131
Or pony hearts.
Seriously, it was the first pony in a real picture that I found which had a vaguely horrified looking pony (and as the collection continues, it should be obvious why).
Up next: Lyra goes to Bronycon and enters a cosplay contest.
4833642
I'm just a jerk, but I can usually hold my tongue in check long enough to have them let me go. Usually.
4834186
That's possible, but unlikely. In the cop's mind (based on the situation) Simon is most likely the criminal and Twilight's the victim.
^ This is a *BAD* stereotype. It gets males into trouble far too often for my sensibilities. There are far too many innocent ways this situation could come about to take the strong actions you are talking about, and there is no evidence that Simon has done anything wrong.
If anything it reeks of something "strange" going on because if you were actually doing something criminal, you wouldn't have the naked lady just sitting there in the passenger seat. They can't have been having sex while driving so that whole thing is off the table.
You have a single anomoly here -- that the girl is not wearing clothing. Hands on your lap, no talking, no sudden movements is more than enough orders that if followed should not lead to escalation.
4834198 NOOOOOOO!!!!
Next you'll be telling me MLP isn't an accurate depiction of real life events.
4834416
It's not even an accurate depiction of cartoon events!
How have you been finding time to write?!
4835738
Mostly by not sleeping.
4834241
The idealist in me agrees with this statement. Every situation is different, you can't judge a book by its cover, etc., etc. The pragmatist replies that in the case of an older male and an underage female, generally the male's doing a bad thing. All we can hope is that the police behave rationally, and don't do anything that will be regretted later--generally, they do, but of course they're not perfect.
I should point out that handcuffing him and placing him in the back of the police car until more officers can get there, conduct interviews, and figure out what's going on isn't by itself a strong action. It gives the police time to secure the situation, and then act in a calm, rational manner. Police can--and do--un-handcuff suspects after interviews; even when the suspect is taken to jail, he or she is sometimes released without charges if the police later determine that no crime was actually committed. In a perfect world, they'd never detain an innocent, but in real life there are situations that the police come across that take some time to understand (and this would be one); for the good of society sometimes an innocent person has to endure some unpleasantness.
I didn't make it clear in the story, but I imagined that she was sitting in the back seat of the car (partially inspired by To Love a Pony). That's why Simon didn't notice she was naked right away. Any cop will tell you that criminals do stupid things all the time--we once had a girl stop in the shop and ask where the store that bought gold was. I said I didn't know, and she asked if she could borrow the phone. I lent her the cordless, and she walked outside, apparently figuring that if I was on the other side of a single-pane window I wouldn't overhear her conversation. I did--she was telling her boyfriend about all the jewelry she'd stolen from her last babysitting job. As soon as she left, I used the caller ID to find out who she'd called and then notified the local police.
Once again, I think a police officer would well within his rights to put Simon in the backseat of the police car until he figured out exactly what was going on, especially considering that there's an underage girl involved.
All that having been said, the next time the police chief stops by the shop, if I remember, I'll ask him what he'd do in this situation.
I have some further information to impart, which I'll send via PM.
4834416
4834664
I like to believe that MLP is the only true documentary.
Oh shit this can't end well. Time to think up a lie and think it up quick.
"Officer, er... Friendly was it? I was mugged and left stranded a few miles back, and they took my clothes too! This nice gentlemen was just trying to do the right thing and get me back to my parents. Unfortunately he didn't have any spare clothes for me to wear."
4836706
Yeah, in retrospect I fell bad for Simon. There is no good way out for him.
I look forward to see how this pans out...
4836762
I'm sorry to say this is probably all there will be. Unless I get a bug up my butt to write another chapter of Twilight and Simon (which is certainly possible) there will be no more of them.
On the plus side, the next story is going to feature Lyra cosplaying as herself. What could possibly go wrong?
4836786
That saddens me... :c
Also, Lyra dividing herself by zero?
4836797
The universe will never be the same.
4836805
Many a mind shall be broken and bjorked beyond comprehension...
The Title makes it sound like theres an over abundance of these stories. I say there isn't enough. Screw HiE. Bring the ponies here baby!
At this sentence, I just knew.
Tension builds.
Stifling laughter.
Explosion.
Great story! Can't wait to see what happens next.
Admiral, did you write this because of the talk we had about Pony on Earth stories while at Bronycon?
4837361
It's true there aren't many good ones. The title's a reference to my own Not another Human in Equestria, which is a similar collection of HiEs.
4837522
Everybody seems to want another chapter of this story. <sighs dramatically> I'll put it in the queue.
4838335
Not this one specifically, although your story likely influenced it being Twilight in this story and not some other pony.
Now the upcoming Lyra story . . . that one I'll blame on our conversation.
4839089
I'm getting goosebumpies already.
Twilight, I really hope that you culd not do clothing in the first place, else you will need a really good excuse for this. You should get the picture after your time at Canterlot High.
4841706
Given AJ's statement in GGG ("we don't normally wear clothes"), and my own Lyra and Bon Bon visit Wales or Merlos the Mad's A Twilight Landing, I think that during the heat of the moment, Twilight wouldn't think of it.
Yes, she wore clothes in EqG (it would have hardly been PG if she hadn't) . . . but remember the scene were she went into the wrong bathroom?
4841750
Never read those two stories, and I took that scene as her not knowing the signs.