• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen May 4th


Doughnut Steel.


Simply put, Berry has bad breath. She's been known to go no less then one whole life-time without brushing or even flossing. The closest she ever comes is the occasional bottle of mouthwash she chugs (it's close enough when the party's run dry ... right?). However, deep, deep, deep down inside, past the Great Bay of Sherry, beyond the Bourbon Sound, and under the Gulf of Gin, lies a burning regret for this shameful act. After all, who drinks mouthwash? Oh, wait, the regret is for not brushing, ever. Simple mistake. Be that as it may, there is only one power in all of the universe that withstand breath so foul; that can cleanse evil so powerful.

And it's going to take a very long trip to get to it.

Rated Teen for use of Alcohol.

Chapters (45)
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Comments ( 85 )

Stupid Sexy Berry Punch... :trollestia:

Not bad.
Not amazing - the perspective change is pretty jarring, and I've been given no reason to care about any of the characters introduced - but if nothing else, I'm intrigued by the premise.

Comment posted by OCisbestpony deleted Nov 22nd, 2014

5287435 Fun Fact: Sexy Berry Punch actually performed well on his college entrance exams!

Ok,now this has been one funny story all round!

Oh, why thank my good fellow!

Colgate gets foalnapped. Did someone need a deep cleaning somewhere?

Personally, I blame Trixie. She wanted a cleaning that was as great and powerful as she was.

And yes Colgates Butt stamp is also explosive, just like her horn!

It never really ends for Colgate does it? Blows up a Griffon and then teleported to who knows where. Best part? She didn't even yell at Berry for breaking her promise. Plus aren't Cows like sentiant? So just why would Bon Bon be tying them up? Oh, wow. Maybe she's selling them to the Gryphons for hamburger meat....

I...I..I never thought of that...


The part about Twilight was entertaining and I look forward to finding out if it will involve our heroes here. Beyond that, well I will say that Bon Bon is making herself more useful than most people would ever give her credit for.

I'd like to take this moment and offer an honest confession. I've never read a FiMfic (save the ones I've edited). I don't read fan-fiction. So I have no idea how Bon-Bon is usually portrayed :pinkiecrazy:

I just have to say, I love this version of Bon Bon for some reason.

All my feels...
All my tears...

I am happy, for all of the wro-erm-right reasons. :heart:

This chapter amused me, hopefully the next shall do the same. :twilightsmile:

Now that the next one is up, let us hope that your wish is granted.

I could see Cherrry owning the town as the biggest employer in town she should easily call the shots. And if she treaats her Ponys right they will do anything for her. Which she does as she brings in a Dentist for her workers when many wouldn't. Bet Filthy Rich wouldn't in her shoes.

She also hires clowns for the little ones.

The good kind, not the scary kind.

I have always liked Bon Bon, now a Bon Bon that wears a eyepatch? A true winner there!

Bon Bon may not have been a Commando, but she probably was Solid Snake in a past life! Her hair does kind of look like a mullet.

You make me a happy pony Iron.

Your comment made me smile.

:pinkiecrazy: erm, I mean :pinkiehappy:

He had been born with with his cutie mark.

Should be one "with."

Berry's moments were perfect...

Should be "movements."

Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

I like this story already.

That stuff's pretty rare.

Not really, all you do is: You take a bit. You take a hammer. And then you-

Wait, what is it, and how do you two know about it?

Seems pretty self-explanatory to me.


Magical monies...

Man, Equestria really is a wonderful place!

I can see Lyra summoning dark being from another dimension. She seems the type. Just has to be a pain convincing those dark beings the doll you have is a acceptable sacrifice.

It is if it happens to be the only Fluffle Puff doll in existence...

Bon Bon is Naked Snake, I swear. And she has probably been cloned somehow to have three foals being raised by Twilight in a underground lab.



That said: You know, I think they were just misunderstood. Why, I bet this world would be better with them at the helm! ALL HAIL OUR OVERLORDS! :yay:

Ah, poor Berry and Colgate, going through hell. And just who is Bon Bon? All questions I want answers too!


I can't say I envy the poor girls.

5984351 envy is for the dead. Curiosity kills the cat though. The real fun part is the enforced vacation and that Celestia at the least knows Bon Bon and Lyra are out there and that Colgate is looking for her Toothbrush. Colgate probably could just had asked and Celestia could have gotten it for her.


Oh lol. You're probably right! Then again, knowing our Glorious Empress of the Sun, she might have just sent Twilight and friends to do it :rainbowlaugh:

5984517 Celestia is best troll, she would have sent Rarity and Fluttershy to help or the CMC's and Discord.

Oh no! I'm so fricking behind and new uploads every where? :applejackconfused:
On the the contrary, YES, FINALLY CHAPTER 3!:pinkiehappy:

BTW, I just noticed, You could add Other to the character Tag if you want.

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