• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Shachza


The world's greatest... eh... I'll get to it later.

Comments ( 1710 )

Frist sorry frist time this happened

This lookz rather interesting... Keep it up!

Why serdadu! This is most interesting.

And my inner grammar Nazi found nothing to nitpick at, so double points for you!

Though, I am most curious... The name of your protagonist... It is polish, is it not? I'd be delighted to get an answer regarding that.

Love,

-Cortex Repository

I don't see why this is being thumbed down...

1446706

My first first that wasn't a bot! Hello and thanks!

1446784

I intend to.

1446942

That was the idea. I don't know if Stepanowski is actually a Polish name, but it sounds like it. But now that I googled it, I found that people actually have that name. ANY SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MY PROTAGONIST AND ANY REAL PEOPLE IS ACCIDENTAL!

And my inner grammar Nazi won't let me post anything that has obvious flaws.

1447371

Alicorn OCs. 'nuff said. Either that or mature without clop. People will have to learn to deal with it though. My story ideas always involve alicorns somehow.

Aru

1447410 Stefanowski would be actually more Polish name ;] Stepanowski sounds a little like a name for guy who have been raised in Poland but his parents were born in Russia . But name is actually good, I was thinking that maybe you are one of my "own" ;D

Alexander is good way to write this name to be easier to read to everybody else. Originally this is "Aleksander" but you read it exactly like "Alexander" anyway.

1447410

It sure is a Polish name my good serdadu!

And good to know that your inner proper, groomed self won't allow crap to flow out of your mouth and fingers. That's good to know indeed.

I thought you were a fellow Pole here for a moment serdadu, but my hopes/fears were unnecessary as it appeared that you, serdadu, are not polish.

And neither are you nail polish. That would have been just silly.

Love and Heil Grammar,

-Cortex Repository

Aru

Well I'm going to fav this story to keep an eye on it. Looks nice. And I like Craig already. Briliant person.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

Good premise so far, curious where this is going to lead. Dunno why you've got down votes going already, there is nothing negative worthy in the story so far.

Faved and I'll NE following it for future updates, thanks for sharing with us.

Well this is good, expect to be mentioned in my next blog post!:pinkiehappy:

Rated mature, no clop, not planned at this time, nothing to do here.

loved that last line! watching this story, next chapter soon pls

I don't normally read fan-made fictional stories. But when I do, however, it's about phones that poop out magical ponies from alternate dimensions. :pinkiecrazy:

1447410 thanks great story also i boted because it was time for school

Well done, you have piqued (NOT peaked) my interest, and with only one thing I need to question:

The fritzing computers made every customer and exercise in patience, much less the ones who did it for themselves, so the morning?

"an exercise", but when you say the ones who did it for themselves, do you mean the customers struggling with self-service mixing machines?

1447548 1447552

I have nearly every anglo-saxon and nordic country in me somewhere, but alas, Polish is something I am lacking. I think. I should check with my mom on that since she has all the records. I just needed a name, and remembering a friend I used to have who was Polish, I thought that such a name would be a bit different and very interesting. If there's anything off with it, just consider it "Americanized."

As for speaking rubbish; I do my best not to, but my brain works faster than my mouth so I tend to jumble several different ways of saying something in to one sentence. Writing is easier that way because I can plan and edit it better!

1449090

Well. Clop is not completely off the table, and I'm still planning the later portions, but I don't want anyone coming here expecting specifically to see graphic sex scenes. The Teen rating makes me think "PG-13" and the Mature rating makes me think "NC-17." I intend this story to be very "R," but there doesn't seem to be a clear rating for that.

1450060

Hi, "The Most Interesting Reader in the Comments Section!"

1450963

I meant that the customers were ornery enough because of the computers going haywire, much less the customers who were normally ornery on their own. I'll clarify that. Thanks!

1452382

Well, yeah, the name is "English-turned", but it is still a polish name. Props to you for not calling him Jones or something else!

And the whole shop scene? Made me think about how customers in Poland behave all the time.

I was eluded for a moment that the story actually takes place there for a bit! Hah!

And yeah, when will, O Glorious and Powerful Master of All Mister Writer, the next chapter come out, serdadu?

Love,

-Cortex Repository

Please write more... I want to see why one of them was... bleeding?

What do you do while hunkered down for a hurricane? That's right! Write My Little Pony fanfiction! I would have had this up last week, but a final project for class had other ideas.

Now, I do have a question, since this turned in to a much larger chapter than I had ever thought it would be. Too much information? How's the flow? Too long? It certainly feels a bit much when I look at the main story page and see over 14k words in two chapters. How the hell did I write all that?!

new chap soon plz. :fluttershyouch:

I think its lovely, happy the pony finally woke up, the length is great, hope to see the next chapter soon.

Evil! Evil! Evil cliffhanger!!!!!

Over all everything is looking great, it also has a nice pace and just the right amount of information to keep you interested. I will say I have waited everyday to see this story update, and I am happy that it finally did.
Also know how it is to sit out a hurricane doing it with you right now lol but I get to walk my dogs in it FML.
To be totally honest I can see this story doing grest things, that plus it has so much potential.
To say I am ready for the next chapter is an understatement, I am literaly biting my nails waiting for the next one.
Keep up the good work. 10/10 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

EDIT: I also like the length of the chapter, you could even make them a little longer if you would like but I believe most people like them in the 7k to 10k range per chapter.

I agree with Derpy Forever, keep up the good work, you got this story down pat!

1529719
I think the length of the chapter was wonderful the way it is, heck you could put more, just try not to pass the 10k words per chapter, after that it kinda becomes a chore to read.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

1529719
Indeed, very productive use of your time while riding out a hurricane! I always favored bringing out the old game systems myself, at least until the power goes out.

The length of chapters is a bit long, but it fits nicely. It does not feel rushed or stretched in any way, which is why I think you should let the chapter itself decide the length, if that makes sense. When the chapter is over, the word count is whatever it ends up being. I will admit that after recently reading an 18k word chapter, that if the events flow well together, the length definitely does not matter. Now, you might start to scare some people off once you hit the 10k mark, or so some people claim. Pussies. So yeah, this little para has simply been running in cycles with the message being let the events decide the length and don't try to limit yourself to X words per chapter.

And gotta say, excellent job with this chapter. Was hoping to see the initial contact, but instead you left us with a cliffhanger in that regard, which I can promise ipyou is most definitely leaving us all here wanting more for sure. So, looking forward to the next chapter when you find the time to write it.

1530178

Those faces REALLY creep me out. :rainbowderp: Glad you enjoyed it though!

1530363

Sorry! They've been the most appropriate points so far to take breaks at!

1530525

We're all sex mutants! Ahhhhhhhh!

Someone else gave me the idea, but I'm already having fun noting some of my weirder thoughts and then try to explain the (pseudo-)logic behind them.

1530868>>1531040>>1531396>>1531506

I'm not trying for any particular length, but as I was writing this, and it kept getting longer as I thought up more details, I began to worry about it dragging. She needed to be tended to and I have some pretty specific ideas about her waking up. There was just no better stopping point.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

1532105
Nah, it didn't drag one bit. And it seems like you really didn't need any outside opinion on the length either, as you stated what I was trying tovsay while typing in circles. :) Honestly, the word count is one of the last things I look at when I see an update to a story that I'm following. And hope that you're riding out the storm fine up there, typically speaking the East coast isn't built to withstand hurricanes like the Gulf Coast where I'm at. Although the storm earlier this year was kinda fun for only being a Cat 1 with the stalling and what not. So used to them I don't even recall the name of the storm anymore, lol!

1531506 I agree with you on how people will see a 10k word chapter and be like and I qoute " DAAAYYYYUUUUM, to long for me, I'm out!" bunch of Pussies.
1532105 But as long as you stay above the 4k mark you will be fine, but just let the chapter do as it pleases and let its length decide itself.
Trust me you are not draging it out in any way, you are just being decrpitive which adds a nice touch in my book.
And I can't wait for the next one. :pinkiehappy:
Also make sure you eat a muffin a day to keep the parasprites away!:derpyderp1:

I wanna know more! (of course, everybody does) But yeah, i love long stories, and lng chapters, so keep it up! :pinkiehappy:

Wow, you actually got me rolling in mirth a few times there, not gliggling, not chuckling, but full belly-laughter! My younger brother even came in to find out what was so funny and he almost ended up on the floor too!

I'm really digging this! Please don't make us wait too long for Ch III... :fluttershysad:
In other words...
media.giantbomb.com/uploads/11/115387/2283704-PinkiePiePopcorn_super.jpg

Oh god I lost it at the end xDD this is an interesting story after the next chapter I think I'll upvote this :D I'm intrigued

Cliff hanger!! Dx well ok upvote and fave for you :D the pacing is well done the detailing in this story is great and the word count is also a nice touch I love me some long chapters xD longest chapter in a story I've read was 25k :P so this story is over all fantastic I'm fully enjoying this so please keep writing this oh by the way i like the story pic as well you did your own art? :D

Another Cliffhanga'? seriously nigga'? :twilightoops:
Please continue! :twilightsmile:

1532141

I'm fortunate to live several miles inland on the second floor of a brick building built in the 1950s. The only things I worry about are leaky windows and no power. Since neither happened in any great quantity, this hurricane was little more than a free vacation day. I feel a bit bad that others suffered so much and I didn't, but there's very little I can do about that.

Growing up in a 1950s brick house I'm very appreciative of sturdy buildings that aren't mass-produced. They really don't make them like they used to.

1535076

Yay! I'm disruptive! For some reason that makes me all warm and fuzzy.

1536141>>1540342

Sorry! I have a thing for drama... I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be less cliff-hanger-y though.

1536141

Oh, and yes, that is my own art! I'm just now breaking in to writing, but I've spent a long time drawing. I'm a Jack of All Arts. Except Gouache. And Crochet.

1542510 damn, seems like you did answer my question! XD my bad for the repeat in your blog, i didn't get the notice that you replied again to me.

Anyway, that's pretty cool. I absolutly love the way you've drawn her, resting on his stomach, she seems abit more... real, as well.

Should we expect, maybe a drawn picture of a scene, to a chapter every once in awhile in your story?

I know I would like that very much! :D

Okay, this is...really, really good. What can I say that others haven't already? Great pacing that kept me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what'd happen next, enough details to make your main character's little slice of normal life believable without putting me to sleep with them...and all very well-written and eloquent. The entire narrative is just very entertaining, and your premise has me perplexed and intrigued.

I do hope there's going to be more of this. Oh, and as for chapter lengths, I'll say what I've said before on my own and other people's work--back when I started writing someone told me one should never force chapter lengths. Write until you reach what feels like a natural breaking point. Some may be longer, some may be shorter--and well, if it gets way too long you can always go back over it and search for a point somewhere in the middle that you can split it, but honestly, that should only be when you're trying to cram upward of 40 thousand words into one chapter or something. There's no "right" or "wrong" chapter size.

Doesn't hurt that I like big chapters rather than smaller ones.

Well, here's hoping to see more of this soon!

1542510
you did the art for this? damn, you rock at hands and ponies, two things I suck at drawing.

...

might I be able to trouble you for a simple piece of cover art? I can color it myself if that would make it easier for you.

Uhm, anyways, the chapter flowed really well, I feel bad for the poor cat, and I can't wait for the third chapter, because this story appears to hold great promise.

Fair Weather and Open Roads

1542987>>1625085

Hands have always fascinated me, and so I've spent time working on them. There's just so much going on in each one! Wiggles, bends, twists, curls... They're like puzzles that I have to figure out.

And ponies... :pinkiehappy: I'm one of those people who has the mindset that "even imaginary creatures can have realistic anatomy."

Unfortunately I doubt I'll be doing much more artwork for this. The story itself takes up enough of my time, much less the artwork. Plus a job... And class... And volunteering to do art for some very specific people... Sorry!

1615005

I hope to see more of this soon as well! Chapter 3 is taking a lot of work. There's so much to do! And it needs to happen in a sensical fashion.

It's going to be large. (Comparatively)

1629506
sniff... oh well. It was worth a try.

This chapter was an eye-opener for me, and in some ways, far too much fun.

When writing it I had already decided that I didn't want Equestrians and Humans to share diseases. Epidemics = bad for this story. But then I began to think about why. I began thinking about how viruses identified targets and what was different about Equestrians that made the diseases on both sides ignore the other. I was delving in to how to make Equestrians fundamentally different, but still able to interact. I'm writing a love story, and I had begun to plot out Equestria's quantum mechanics.

A friend suggested a much easier method. Two species = incompatible diseases. Sometimes I think too much.

The other really interesting thing (for me) just sort of happened. She doesn't know English, but I didn't want to just gloss over every single thing she said. That's boring. So I whipped up some words that I thought sounded appropriate, slapped on some basic rules, and then did a one-for-one exchange with the English I was typing.

I was sort of doing exactly the same thing Alex was so... agast? at in the first chapter. Creating an Equestrian language.


Anyways. Carry on!

And if you're liking the story, then let me know what you think of the question that started it all.

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