D. G. D. is a science fiction writer and archaeologist. He blogs on occasion at www.deusexmagicalgirl.com.
Jack Andrews is a student training to be a Catholic missionary in Equestria. Lyra Heartstrings is a starving artist trying to make it in Canterlot's music scene. With Lyra's help, Jack is going to introduce the ponies to the joys of Christmas.
Or, if that doesn't work, he'll at least introduce them to the joys of eggnog.
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You got me hooked, I came for the "joys of eggnog" and am staying to see what exactly Jack and Lyra can come up with. (and of course the eggnog)
This I am excited for.
Maybe it's just the Christmas hype, but I like the looks of this.
Beat line of diologe I've ever read.
Well, it was cheesy and goofy, but it's always nice to see some Catholicism in fanfiction!
Now I'm expecting a bad case of dysentery to come into play somehow.
At risk of sounding like a moron, I have to ask: what's Eggnog?
I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing that Weird Al's "Pretty Fly For a Rabbi" came on my shuffle while I was reading this.
3595401 A traditional winter holiday drink. It's made with dairy products, eggs, sweetener, and spice like nutmeg. Sometimes also liquor. Your local grocery store likely has it at this time of year.
Finally, the long-awaited Christianity fic, without the typical toothache-inducing preachiness you'd expect from a "Christian fanfic".
Though it feels, hm, weird to see the protagonist going near-fanatic over this exotic "eggnog" thing when it's something mostly unknown to non-American readers.
3595455
thank you. The only answers I typically get from people are 'it's gross' or 'it's delicious' which doesn't answer my question.
3596374 Its a very North American drink to be sure and tends to be a very polarizing beverage much like marmite in that you either love it or hate it I'm told.
Here is a typical eggnog recipe (You can omit the bourbon) Most eggnog consumed here is mass produced though many still make it themselves.
I'm a huge sucker for HiE fics that skip right past the messiness of first contact and dive into slice-of-life shenanigans.
And god damn do I love eggnog.
That's an interesting political system you have there, Celestia
And now the crazy train is well and truly rolling.
3595933
Wuh-what? Blasphemy! Heresy!
3597811
"Interesting" or scary? All citizens in Equestria have rights and freedom only because the Princess graciously allow it. As much as Celestia is a benevolent, reasonable ruler, there is antecedents about alicorns going bonkers.
3597992
Interesting is this context means 'absolutely terrifyingly horrible". If I got dropped into this Equestria, I'd leg it for the border.
3597811, 3597992
And it's canonical, at least in the expanded universe. In Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell, it's quite plain that Twilight will be able to do whatever she wants with her kingdom when she gets one.
This is not actually all that strange. Not all monarchies have been constitutional. A monarch's power was limited by being distributed amongst a nobility, and by his physical inability to enforce any and every law he might conceive of. For example, it would be highly unlikely that Twilight could enforce the law that all ponies eat with their families every night, which Applejack recommends to her. A law like that couldn't be enforced except in a police state.
Of course, My Little Pony is not preaching a political theory. The image in the book is of little girls imagining what they'd like in their fairy kingdom. Nonetheless, when I import that straight into my fan fiction, some of the implications inevitably come out.
3598020
The only problem is that Princess Giant Sun Horse could probably be everywhere to enforce her happiness-and-sparkles will everywhere.
3598029
I suppose so, but she seems to be a benevolent ruler.
The ponies live in a fantasy universe. We came up with the idea of constitutions and checks and balances because we assume our leaders are prone to foolishness and corruption. In Magical Sparkly Pony Land, nobody becomes a ruler unless she's ascended to the throne through demonstrated moral virtue, kind of like E. E. "Doc" Smith's Lensmen.
(How Nightmare Moon fits into that, though, is anyone's guess.)
3598029, 3597992
Incidentally, in the larger, unpublished story of which this is a subplot, I address this directly. Celestia at one point says to Jack, "There are no rights here, only privileges, and privileges can be revoked." I have a habit of writing Celestia as a tyrant, albeit a benevolent (if menacing) one.
*Grins* This is definitely proving enjoyable. My aunt was training to be a priest at one point but sadly left due to the politics like those mentioned.
I also like the slight mention of the pony crucifix.
3598146 When's the last time women could become priests?
3598146
Is she an Anglican?
3600195>>3601286 I believe the argument of female priests varies between the different Christian faiths but I humbly admit I'm not certain of the specifics.
I'm not certain what um, particular aspect of Christianity she is/was following
Perhaps our most excellent author can enlighten us as to the different opinions of Christianity with regards to females among the ranks?
More! More! More!
That's actually a pretty good plan regarding the pageant.
3602045 Good luck with that question. There are dozens if not hundreds of denominations and sects ranging from the truly massive (like the Catholic Church) to the tiny, not to mention thousands of non-associated churches, and all of them march to their own mildly to vastly different tune. People like to talk about organized religion like it's some monolithic entity, but in truth it's organized chaos at best when you look at it on the large scale.
I feel kinda bad that my first thought was "Deej...are you projecting?" This just keeps getting more interesting.
3604667
Depends on what you mean. There is indeed plenty of me in Jack.
This is a most glorious story to be written for the holiday enjoyment of all!
Much praises to you, oh great Deej!
3604927
I suspect that you're projecting in every way it's possible to be projecting in that sentence.
Well... this went smooth. *sips tea*
*Raises a brow in a restive manner, lower my cup of tea and rests it in my lap*
Well, come on, what are you waiting for Mr. pen-slave!? Get on with it and imprint some prosodic magic that will divulge to us, your eager readers, the next turn of your delightful Christmas story.
PS: with much respect of course.
I'm liking the almost jaded view Jack has about Christianity. Very realistic, I think.
Can't wait for more!
I'm glad I got Chronomistress read recently, it was nice to know the Turner/Colgate/Derpy backstory when they popped up.
Nice.
3607190
A character who is not jaded would also be realistic. We have all kinds.
3608897
Yes, this is a semi-sequel to Chronomistress, and also to "Forever," though I've altered details of the Chronoverse since I wrote that one.
This guy seems like a really shitty Priest-in-Training. I mean, I know it's being played for comedy, but he seems to go out of his way to portray Christianity in the most horrible way possible to the ponies he's (supposedly) supposed to be converting.
Also, I realize that my last comment came out as anti-Christian, and I apologize. That was not my intent. I'm actually a Christian... kind of. It's a long story, but... yeah, if I came off as too snarky, I'm sorry.
3614627
No offense taken on my end, certainly.
I am, admittedly, taking a few liberties here. This is loosely based on my own experience in seminary, but only very loosely. The guys who were the most rigid were likely to wash out. Those who chafed at the rules a bit, as long as it was within limits (such as me), actually did the best. Jack, however, is an exaggeration, and he would probably have been on the next airship home after skipping class and showing up several hours later with alcohol on his breath and his lady friend in tow.
The in-universe but not very plausible excuse for why he gets away with murder, though I haven't had a chance to explain it, is the weirdness of his present situation: the seminary he's actually enrolled in is back on Earth, and the only person with the power to kick him out of it is the seminary's president-rector (that's true to life). The only person with the power to throw him out of the country is Princess Celestia. Bishop Van de Velde could get rid of him by withdrawing his sponsorship, but he's a rather indulgent sort.
I suppose this is as good a time as any to ask this question, though it has little to do with the story.
Thoughts on Pope Francis being named Time's Person of the Year? Does he seem like the type who'd open a seminary in Equestria?
(Yes, I added that second question so this would seem at least vaguely on-topic.)
This is quite fascinating and I confess I was going to ask the same question Jake was but I'm glad it's been addressed regardless. Could it maybe be mentioned somehow in the fic or author's notes to help explain why Jack gets away with what he does? It's not a huge issue to me but it does feel a bit strange that someone who wishes to devote his life to the church seems to dislike it almost on the verge of loathing. He may have spoken well of his religion but the stuff that stick out in my mind is him reviling it.
And wow...Carrot Top's announcement felt rather sudden. I'm not sure if that was deliberate or not...Though I am a touch surprised that the ponies don't seem to use body language all that much (Ears and tail mostly) though that perhaps could come down to Jack being oblivious, though I wonder as surely that would seem odd to him.
Just my two cents, enjoying this immensely! I confess the colostrum cheese thing made me giggle as I immediately pondered if it would have a greenish tint to it naturally. I did like Jack's idle mention of having not caught said pony diseases.
Some day I hope you do some sort of AMA or somesuch because I would dearly love to pick your brain about how things function in your idea of Equestria.
3614893
At what point has Jack given you the impression that he reviles his religion?
3614857
I couldn't answer the question. I don't pay any attention to TIME, and I haven't paid as much attention as I should to Pope Francis. Since he is consistently misrepresented in the media, which claims he says things he doesn't say, I wouldn't be surprised if he got in TIME for some imaginary reason.
Oh, and I forgot to answer the second question . . . I honestly don't know what anybody would do if a rift in space-time opened over the North Sea and it were found to have a fairy-kingdom full of talking ponies on the other side. Would the Catholic Church send missionaries there? I think so. Would she train seminarians on-site in the manner I'm depicting? I doubt it. At least, not in the first generation.
Some insider information has gone into this story, but so has a good deal of artistic license. In "real life," if we can even use that as a reference in a story about talking ponies, Jack would probably be out on his ear, and Sire August would probably be in some trouble, too, for telling him off in public like that. That's way out of line.
In-universe, Jack gets away with things because Bishop Van de Velde has a bad habit of turning a blind eye, which in the larger story of which this is a small vignette, gets him and Jack and others in even bigger trouble. Sire August probably gets away with disciplining a student inappropriately partly because the bishop is indulgent and partly because his superiors are humans who are loathe to call a pony on the carpet.
Normally you portray Equestria as being a very different place, and sometimes seemingly superior. It's a nice break to see some limitations in Equestrian thought process. Really you guys? You can't imagine a language simply putting a title at the end?
I suppose I may as well bring up one of the problems I had with Chronomistress here, since you described this as a semi-sequel. I'm glad it's just "semi," because I can't imagine this Time Turner being the colossal prick from back then.
Masses have a variable length in America? Here in Poland they are pretty much all 1 hour unless it's a major holiday or a marriage when they're longer.
3614627 There are priests all over the place and Time Turner is friends with one, yet he doesn't know who the guy on the torture device is or why he's there. It's safe to say that the church has completely failed to explain their beliefs to the populace for the sake of comedy. Indeed, in this very chapter the guy is giving ponies roles to play without telling them the story they're adapting, that's completely ridiculous.
3614900 Maybe the way he seems to avoid talking about his beliefs unless they're directly relevant at the moment?
3616391
That may be a bit of parochialism on my part. It will probably depend on the celebrant, but in my experience a weekday Mass is typically half an hour. Whatever they do in Canterlot, however, should probably resemble the way things are in Belgium.
Partly for comedy, partly to avoid bogging the reader down with a lecture, and partly because, at this point, I would expect that most ponies are not in fact aware of what the Church teaches, since she is a new and exotic thing in their experience. Most of my real-life neighbors and co-workers don't understand what the Church teaches, and she's not even new or exotic here.
3616032
Sorry, forgot to reply here. Yes, this is in fact supposed to be the same Time Turner, though I can't vouch for whether the shift from the earlier version to this one is believable. As I see it, Derpy mellowed him out quite a lot. With her always running into things, he can no longer maintain the obsession with efficiency that he used to have. Love will change a guy.
3616844
I suppose that was parochialism on my part in turn - as I said, I'm from Poland, we're a Catholic nation. Sure, even most Chistians everywhere are usually ignorant on many parts of Christian canon (find me a non-priest who knows how angels actually look like in the Bible or what the Nephilim are). Still, I can't help but think they could at least put up the Nicene Creed on a billboard to get some basic facts across. That's what they are supposed to be actively doing here after all.
Speaking of, how long has the mission been in Equestria anyway? Jake mentions a 7 month figure in the first chapter so I thought he's personally been in Equestria for a couple months. They already have a pony priest so a few ..years?
Wax, to indicate a pony is pregnant?
Ehhh, from my perspective as a lifelong Protestant (Presbyterian & Methodist), Jack doesn't seem too off. I've known plenty of pastors who were fairly irreverent a lot of the time.
Something getting on my nerves is Jack making little effort to save face for the human race, (beyond what gets his own project moving).
I wouldn't describe myself as a Christian. I haven't been to church in over a year, and everyone in my home decided to skip it on Christmas. If I had to associate myself with a religion, I'd call myself a 'bad' Christian. But sweet shit, I would at LEAST turn my head and whisper to Time Turner, "Don't worry, we didn't kill
our own saviorthe people we worship!"3620711
Forgive me for saying so, but that last statement sounds like the same thing as calling someone a "Christ-killer", i.e. someone of Jewish decent. That's forgetting the fact that Jesus asked God to forgive them, while up on the cross.
As for the story... Yes, Jack is doing poorly at teaching Christianity IMO, but partly it's responsible to gaffes made by the Church (such as referring to Mary as a queen, which unknowingly to them was offensive to the ponies) and by the pony belief that it is a political organization.