There is nothing more traditional than exchanging scary stories around a campfire. It started with cavemen; even on a strange new pony world, you find that the tradition is no different. And boy, do you have a scary story to tell.
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- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
Admiral Biscuit
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Admiral Biscuit
Joined 2nd Nov, 2012 ·
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Am I trying to give the ponies a heart attack. That's to terrifying for anyone.
"And they were never held accountable again. BLARHARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!"
5161818
The very process is chilling. In a very few weeks, those of us who are old enough will once again cast our ballots, and then find out over the next few years how miserably our elected leaders have failed us.
5161835
This alone could be a reason that ponies would never want to come to earth.
Just a few days ago, I was discussing Mares of Diomedes--which has a 50/50 upvote to downvote ratio--and I realized that it still has a higher approval rating than Congress.
Of course, I'm pretty sure 'being kicked in the nuts' also has a higher approval rating than Congress.
Help, oh god, please! The commercials! The flyers! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOAAARRBLARGGGGGAAAAGHHHHHHhhh...
5161872
Whole forests were destroyed for the purpose of making fliers to tell you how much of an environmentalist candidate X is.
I approve this message.
5161934
It gives me shudders, sir. Shudders.
. . . MY LUNGS!
I laughed so hard when I read the end. Now I really want to see how his story went!
5162090
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130902172057/mlp/images/d/d3/Applejack_telling_a_%22ghost%22_story_S1E08.gif
5162099
Just watching the news is depressing enough. If I actually had to tell the story, I think I'd cry.
5162104
'Tis a horrifying tale indeed.
2Spooks
the horror
What sick, twisted reason could you possibly have for subjecting ponies to that?
Well, that ending was utter nonsense. After all, a campfire setting is not the appropriate medium for such a tale.
...
...
...
Ya need PUPPETS.
..........
"Goddamnit"
5162165
I get depressed just thinking about it.
5162327
Heh, I should have included a Flower Pony reaction gif.
5162980
Hey, they wanted a scary story.
5163347
Or a tavern, with lots and lots of drinks.
The American political system? Have you ever been in the Czech Republic? That's what I call a ghost story.
But you did a very good job. You will get a mustache.
Those poor Ponies. No one should be subjected to hearing about that!
Reads chapter title:
5161868
But the highest approval rating is reserved for watching congress get kicked in the nuts. With the 535 congresscritters (435 house plus 100 senate), a one-hour show (minus the standard 15 minutes of commercials) could devote a full 5 seconds to each groin kick. I think a new constitutional amendment is in order, specifically to mandate this once every year.
5165551
OMG yes. I would pay to see that.
5164278
It's true we don't have the worst system in the world. But it could be a lot better.
I feel our forefathers imagined educated men having calm, rational decisions, and reaching an informed compromise. We've sure let them down.
I have a scary story it's about the time when the hospital I work at ran out of coffee and me going behind the counter and searching for the coffee because I couldn't believe they not only did they not have any coffee but slipped up a forgot to order more coffee, HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN!
5166623
I can only imagine the horror. It's like a group of actors running out of alcohol.
This story got me thinking: has Belgium formed a government yet?
5164278 I think the Hong Kong political/social system is wayy worse, considering how much time we're spending over here getting pepper sprayed and beaten with batons. Brings a new meaning to the word 'unaccountable'.
(For those of you who don't know, we basically get to elect an opposition but China gets to choose our government. Our Congress is 50% made up of legislators who are accountable to 7m people and 50% made up of legislators who are accountable to a couple of millionaires. The result is about as bad as the international press makes it out to be.)
Wonderful story though. I always love the feeling I get when reading prose that flows so smoothly and naturally. Think the English word for that is 'immersion'
.
5172025 What can I say? Every country has something that makes it special.
Hehehehehehehe....
5204322
As the mid-term election nears, this story just gets both funnier and more tragic.
In truth, the American political system was designed rather well, and owes most of it's problems to simple human nature and our cleverness in finding ways to defeat our own systems. The most perfect system imaginable would still fail, given such a population.
5293157
There's a lot of truth to that. I think our founding fathers had a nobler vision of politics than what we have currently.
5294791 One serious problem is that most of them never imagined us growing and expanding across the whole blasted continent as we have.
That finishing line was hilarious, by the way. This story will give the ponies new appreciation for their wise Princesses.
5450648
That's very true, and I would imagine it's stubornness/tradition that kept our capital on the middle of the East Coast even as the country expanded Westward. Of course, these days with airplanes and cell phones and whatnot, it doesn't really matter where the capital is.
Thanks!
5450801 At various points a more inland location was suggested. I know Cincinnati has been proffered at least once. The original placement of Washington and the District of Columbia was a sop to Southern leaders in order to get them to go along with other political deals.
I would also point out that Virginia and Maryland each gave up land to form the District of Columbia, so that literally no State could lay claim to being the home of the American capital city. Try getting any State to yield its land today, even for something that important.
5453210
Well, for what it's worth, Michigan gave up Toledo to get the UP.
Of course, that was over a century ago.
More recently, I bet Michigan would give Flint to the federal government, if they wanted it. But they'd have to take it all.
5509965 Totally different situation, and as you pointed out yourself, a century and more behind us now.
Today no State would even think twice before saying no.
5510457
except for Flint
But yeah, I agree with you.
Unless the feds kicked in some really sweet swag....
5510474 Flint?
Yes, like another, more profitable stretch of land.
...And some cake.
...And Belgium.
Lol that was unexpected, At this point perhaps a random presidential lottery might work better, or we could just wait for our robot overlords.
5512740
I'd go for a random lottery. It sounds more fun.
TRUTH!
Though I was mildly disappointed by the lack of an actual story XD
5609921
That's a fair complaint, to be honest. This really is a shaggy dog joke, but it was written in a hurry (One-Shot-Ober), during the performance of a play where I had a lead role (Dracula; I was VanHelsing), and during election season.
I probably would have done better to make it much shorter, and just added it to Everypony's Drunk and Speaking Russian For Some Reason.
Was not expecting that at the end. That would be a maddening and terrifying story to tell.