We all make mistakes.
Some are easy to fix. Some are not. Some create such turmoil in our lives that it seems we will be swallowed up by them.
When a wounded monster, like nothing anypony has ever seen before, wanders out of the Everfree Forest, Lyra Heartstrings, Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy get a lesson in what happens when we try to run from our mistakes.
Written for the 2014 Most Dangerous Game contest, with the prompt "A Human in Equestria". Finished 12th out of 66 entries.
Reading by Scribbler, Emogak, and a whole lot of other awesome folks!
Song by Reverbrony! (Soundcloud)
Accepted by The Royal Guard!
Chapters (1)
I hate you. You gave me feels.
wow.
Welp. I read it. I went away to think for a bit...
The theme of your blog didn't actually come through. Not directly. I was a teensy bit worried you'd turn this into an author tract. I shouldn't have been.
It's a classic tale, but updated for ponies. Desite what you said I thought it was well written - or at least well-paced. Very tight, very lucid. It gave some interesting characterisation and background to the Lyra fanon, too. The little verbal ticks and quirks, all the wordplay, it all added to the depth of everything.
T'was good.
Well, that was a punch to the gut. Well done, especially the bits from Modo's perspective. His thoughts felt appropriately alien, but the emotions and concepts in them were painfully familiar and vivid. I like the new title schema, too. It definitely lends a dramatic flair to the introduction.
Well this looks interesting. I think it is time I read something by you, Present. This might be it.
Curse you, while I feel as a Lyra fan she'd never abandon her child, I will say this was a interesting and well paced story. The only thing I find a little off is that if Celestia knew that about Annan and the ponies he befriended, why did Lyra think he just vanished. Still beyond that the feels and the pacing made has earned you a thumbs up from me sir.
4608953
That's very kind of you. :) I used the Lyra/humans thing because it was easy, but also because I could turn it on its head a little and get some traction out of it as anti-human/pony relations tract.
4609083
I'll warn you it's not the best it could be. :/ I'd rather you read one of my serious shipfics.
4609132
Ah, and the first plot hole rears its ugly head.
Don't feel too bad about Lyra. :B I broke my OTP to make this story happen. I am hurting myself just as much as anyone else.
4609155
Then those ship fics better be epic. XP I just found SS&E's alt account ship fic epic. It's rocking 200k right now.
But in all seriousness, I would love to read more stuff by you. Your ship fics look to be great reads anyway.
4609233
Just remember anything with a 'random' tag is meant to be stupid. :B
This is pretty magnificently f'd up, right here.
I'm not sure I have anything else coherent to say. This is good in that way that I regret having read, because now it will stick in my brain.
Well, that was creepy and sad. Not my thing, but I guess it was reasonably well-written.
You don't say.
Frankly, I think you're taking this Satyr thing way too seriously, but each to his own.
Ze feels, zey burn!
What a funny word.
Nooooo the FEEELLLSSSSSS!!! I Hate you!!
4609824
I take everything way too seriously. Except when I don't.
4610572
It's unsurprisingly falling out of common usage. :B
Wow...so...this was...heart-breaking to read...and I mean that in the nicest possible way...just one question though...Can I assume 'Modo' was a satyr?
4611941 Except the goat parts are pony
>Ecocat<
4611984 Oh, well, to me they're the same concept, but okay, that makes sense. Thank you
4611941
Only in the sense that this fandom has come to the conclusion that the offspring of a human/pony union is called a satyr. (They really aren't, for the least reason that satyrs are part goat.)
He is not, however, anything like the fandom 'satyrs' physically.
...Ghhh...
G-good god.....i....
I can't stop crying....I..I feel like i'm going to be sick...just thinking about what he had suffered..
cdn.gifbay.com/2012/12/wave_of_feels-18739.gif
I hate you and what you have done to those poor people, ponies? Keep writing, and I will keep reading. One day I may hate you again.
Well done.
4613840
Read Fluttershy Goes to Hell and that day could be today! :V
The spell explains everything except Scootaloo not being able to fly:
The PegausStallion in trade Ya could have been from an injury, as well as the eyes of Ditzy Doo. Other than Scootaloo, no pony has birthdefects. If the ponies die-out, in addition to preventing miscarriages, stillbirths, and birthdefects, one would also want more mares. This explains the sexratio of many mares for each stallion.
4614172
Not being able to fly isn't a birth defect that would compromise a pregnancy. If the wording gave a different impression, I'll have to tighten it up later.
4614231
Many birthdefects such as not having any limbs do not compromise pregnancies. Evidently, for allowing human/pony-hydrids, the Spell goes too far. The Spell does not go far enough, as Moto is very asymmetrical.
This made me feel things...Then it made me remember Bunny from Powerpuff Girls and something in me just...broke...
4615514 your photo is so perfect for that comment
Best HiE fic ever.
4621723
Wow, so kind, such praise.
Was a bit hesitant to read this after noticing the "sex" rating, but I had to see what you did with this. I'm not really sure what to say about it. Don't get me wrong, I liked it and will be sharing it with others, but just... whoa. I enjoyed reading that blog post as well
The title schema was cool and worked well for this story, but I don't think it'd be appropriate for every fic. The scene with Annan, Lyra and Twilight was slightly confusing at first, but I reread it afterward and it seemed pretty clear, so it may not need reworked
Was the connection between Silenus and antinatalism an inspiration for this fic?
Also, I hate that those things are referred to as satyrs
4628921
what does this even mean ._.
4631213
Silenus, the horse-man hybrid from Greek mythology, is often referenced in philosophical arguments against giving birth because he was supposed to have told Midas that it's best that men are never born, and those that are should kill themselves as quickly as possible
Yes, he was the first troll
i.imgur.com/UCTJINN.png
4631352
Fantastic.
Yikes, well that ended poorly for basically everyone.
I can't say I'm familiar with satyr being used as a word for anything in the fandom, though. Maybe I'm reading the wrong (or right) fics?
4638757
Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a fanfic written about satyrs, though there is a group for them here. It's mostly the art side that does it, and even then pretty much just /mlp/.
4639067 Well there's the problem, /mlp/ is a terrible place. If you go there, expect terrible things.
Fascinating. I never realized what had spurred this on until I read the linked blog. Speaking as a fan of satyrs, I generally just focus on the end result and not the process that led up to it. Especially with Darcy. The logistics involved...
In any case, I generally just chalk it up to magic. The same magic that allows for eagle-lions, snake-tailed goat-tigers, and horses with feathered wings. Discrete chimerae are a thing in Equestria. I see no reason why they can't be when humans are involved.
As for the story itself, an engrossing tale of truth and consequences, and those who can't handle either. Thank you for it. Best of luck in the judging.
Only spotted two errors that aren't even worth mentioning because this... this was a great read man you earned a friggin' follower.
4657908
Thank you. They're always worth mentioning, however. D:
I read this.
I liked this.
I was amused by the fact that I didn't realize Annan = Anon until I read your blog post, especially given that, you know, Kofi Annan is a person.
It is rather nasty and horrifying, though of course, we all know in post-Equestria Girls, Twilight is a filthy xenophile who has seen humans and wasn't squicked out by them at all.
Indeed, if any of the cast WERE xenophiles, I'd expect it the most of Twilight - she was raised around a dragon and alicorns, both of which are very strange looking by pony standards. Rainbow Dash coming in second because of the whole Gilda thing, plus her asking if Twilight could turn her into something else for fun.
This was pretty dark, though, and nice and messed up.
And of course, Celestia at the end noting not to spread around the source of the spell.
The whole thing reminds me of a greentext story I saw once, which was about a similarly horrifying subject matter with the whole IWTCIRD thing.
Incidentally, preventing all miscarriages would actually be a bad thing; a lot of miscarriages occur because there's something WRONG with the baby, and by aborting the baby early, it prevents the mother from wasting resources on them when they're likely to die anyway and are certainly messed up. Ideally speaking, you'd actually always miscarry messed up kids, and only ever carry to term fully viable offspring.
4705819
You know, you're the first person to comment on Annan's name, and of course you're spot on. :) I'm now interested in that IWTCIRD story, if you can find it.
I just realized I hadn't read this before. I remember seeing it when the contest's deadline had just ended and I was hesitant to read it. Not entirely my style (something about tragedy and human together).
I'll say it outright, I detest Lyra Heartstring in this one. It's not even that I can't understand where she's coming from, but the writing just made me feel exactly like Fluttershy did. There was something about the tone in this story that just made it a new experience. Maybe I'm just not reading enough one-shots, but this one started really creepy. Like, no, don't want to touch that. But the further the events progress, the more I'm like "That's just... help the poor thing!" and that's where the tragedy kicks in.
So, yeah, it's well written, even if I think the first Lyra and Bon-Bon is out of place. Perhaps it's just too blatant for me. You'd have just said he had turquoise fur once and that would have been to replace that whole conversation. I dunno, it's just off when compared to the rest.
Yeah, other than that tidbit, solid writing, cool entry. Good luck.
I liked the premise, and really enjoyed the story. When I got to the 'ma ma' part..... wow.... that hit hard. I guess as a dad I'm more sensitive to stuff like this, but still, awesome work. Those four letters are the emotional exclamation point to the whole story, everything built up to that moment. Great writing for the ponies as well, great to see a pony with flaws.
Greenthumbed!
...man....
All I can say is that I have nothing to say.
4729389
I'll consider that a win.
Well... I have to say that this is probably a good bit of evidence to support the hypothesis that it is better to write out of love rather than more negative emotions. It was technically good, but felt a bit awkward and... hmn... forced.
For the most part, I really enjoy your work, and I hope you'll write more about things that excite and interest you.
4767440
>inb4 fifteen stories about ponies pooping