• Member Since 31st May, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Lightning Bearer


Frequent reader, less-than-infrequent writer.

E

She's seen Rainbow Dash do it. How hard could it be?



Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 172 )

That was your first story? Well done.

Bravo, friend! Fimfiction needs more stories like this one!

Nice story.
How are you writing at romance stories?

And don’t forget that trip to the Crystal Empire next week, to meet with those dignitaries from Maretonia. That's something to look forward to.”

And we all know how well that turned out as far as the tree's concerned...

Interesting. Also nice to see the evil forest creatures see a certain result from this kind of behaviour ...

That'll teach those squirrels. I'm surprised Fluttershy wasn't more upset about it though.

Hah!

Nicely done. 'Bout time some of those critters that like to bully ponies actually bit off more than they can chew for a change...!

This was genuinely hilarious. Couldn't stop giggling. Favourited.

One eye-slide typo found:

If it wasn’t the perfect setting was a nap

Second 'was' should be 'for'.

Beyond that... I am going to make a valiant, completely futile, and totally doomed attempt to get you a few more page views. Because if this is your first, this site needs to get a second and beyond.

Ah, the foreshadowing... :twilightoops:

Well, this was fantastic. A hilarious first showing. Thank you for this. You have my upthumb and follow. :twilightsmile:

Also, this feels entirely appropriate:gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=382374&type=card

Someone needs to tell poor Twilight that she can just sleep on a cloud.
Also,
If you wanted a fight, you picked the wrong pony, and you picked the wrong day! Now, stuff this in your cheeks until winter!
LOL
:rainbowlaugh:

Oh, very nicely done.

Congratulations. Very funny, and quite well writen.

Enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

Of course, she should've done this:

:twilightsheepish: :Hey, Rainbow... I kinda... wanted to try napping in a tree, like you do sometimes. Got any pointers?

But then, where would this story be? (Also, it seems RD was busy, anyway.)

Screaming all the way, Twilight feel to the ground with a crash.

Should be "fell". I make that kind of mistake, myself, doubling the wrong letter...

She looked her attacked square in its beady eyes.

All others look good. Great job.

Wait, is causing explosions while napping not normal?

She looked out across the park and its many, many trees. “Yes, I’ll find a better tree, and then: I’ll do science to it!”

:pinkiehappy:

That was a fantastic first story, just excellent.

Congrats on the featured box.

Welp, after more than two years in this fandom, I post my first fic, and it's some popcorn fart of a story that I wrote in one sitting.

But it's such a good popcorn fart of a story!

Liked, favorited, followed. Looking forward to more from you.

This was a good start. Twilight's napping antics were funny, the story was well handled, and much foreshadowing was had by all. :twilightsmile:

If I leave them alone, they’ll me al—"

I think you mean "they'll leave me alone."

P.S. - Probably a good choice for your first story, actually. We all know how Fimfiction loves one-shot comedies.

4588544 I was actually expecting Fluttershy to show up and yell at the squirrels for attacking her friend.

Fluttershy senses a great disturbance in the Force.

Twilight giggled. “Oh, girls… I’m not crazy. I’m only trying to sleep in a tree.”

Okay, if you say so, Twilight.

:ajsmug:Should've taken a nap in one of my sturdy ole apple trees. Nothing better.

Or, Twilight ends up in the hospital after falling out of a tree? :twilightoops:

:rainbowlaugh:

4589266

Depends on your diet. Eat chili long enough and there will be explosions while you sleep.

TGM

But...

why didn't she just sleep on a cloud? :duck:

Loved it.
When I went to upvote this the score was 100 and 0 and I was disapointed to change a perfect loking score like that. But this was too good to leave un thumbed. :twilightsmile:
Imagine my surpries when my vote changed it to 111 and 0 :derpytongue2:

4589726

I'm gonna try that…

… on my jerk of a brother! :twilightsmile::trollestia::trollestia: FOR SCIENCE!

This was hilarious and I congratulate you on your first fic. It was a job well done. :twilightsmile:



~ Super-Brony12

Fluttershy's reaction was the absolute best of them all.

This was an outright joy to read, man. Well done!

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

~Skeeter The Lurker

Not bad, not bad at all...

Oh dramatic irony. Cosmic payback and whatnot. Squirrels are dicks though, makes sense why the Grim Reaper hates them.

1.

If it wasn’t the perfect setting was a nap

Something's not quite right here.:derpyderp2:

2.

“Girls…” Scootaloo said, indicating Twilight with her hoof. “Our new princess.”

Listen here, you little sh—*bites back retort about a pegasus that can't even fly* :twilightangry2:

3. What in blue blazes did the squirrels have against that bloody pillow? :rainbowhuh:

Hilarious though, loved the read.

Hilarious. Also, glad those squirrels got their comeuppance!

“And now,” she called like a battle cry, “I nap!”

Mundane Made Awesome!

Phoenix Down’s

Will it bring me back to life afterwards?

“I felt a great disturbance, as if dozens of tiny voices suddenly squeaked in terror and were suddenly silenced.”

:rainbowlaugh:, just :rainbowlaugh:.

4589785 Because that would make sense, and this is Twilight we're talking about. High Intelligence, Low Wisdom.

You're a horrible pony, Twi. You deserve what Tirek's gonna do to your library! Those poor homeless squirrels. I hope they take up residence in your mane! Your mane, you hear me!!!

4590011 cause squirrels are like bloody cats. Always mewing everywhere and the multiple lives thing.

This was an absolute gem!

It would seem FIMFic believes you need to eat more popcorn.

Also, I'm pretty sure a lot of us would like to know your brand.

(The mass switching? Pure coincidence.)

Well... you lied to me... This wasn't supposed to be a sad story... Okay I am partially kidding, this thing was hilarious, but then it got sad, because I know the future... We're close personal friends the future and I... we go bowling on Thursdays... Seriously though I guess this just means that Twi's tree exploding is an unbalanced cosmic justice for her crimes against squirrels who were just being dicks to begin with... Hasbro Brand Karma sucks...

...That was spectacular. The humor was right on the dot, it matched with the spirit of the show, and the tie-in with everything else (somehow, I figured you might bring it into canon) just made this a piece of gold. I'm usually one for longer reviews, but I frankly can find no flaws, other than a misplaced word/letter here or there. I love every part of it, beginning, middle, and end. Every little part is just packed with perfectly-timed humor that just gave me this ginormous grin every time. The guy in the pillow shop in particular got me chuckling.

Well done. :pinkiehappy:

“If you wanted a fight, you picked the wrong pony, and you picked the wrong day! Now, stuff this in your cheeks until winter!”

I almost expected her to stuff their cheeks with her pillow stuffing. :rainbowlaugh::twilightangry2:

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I really didn't expect for this thing to do so well.

For the record, this is not the first story I've written. It's merely the first ponyfic that I finished and posted here. I've been writing (albeit sporadically) for over a decade now. My problem is a lack of discipline, which has resulted in probably hundreds of unfinished stories over the years. This one merely slipped through the net by virtue of having been written so quickly and posted on a whim.

I'm a little flummoxed by all this, but also very encouraged. So thank you all for that.

4590425
I just love your profile pic

I came, I saw, I laughed my freaking head off. Reminiscent of the antics of Pinkie Sense, this humor fits perfectly in the world of FiM.

Much well done. :twilightsmile:

This is a very good story. Parts of it reminded me of what I liked of other authors (namely Aragon), and I really enjoyed the comedy you used.

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