- Member Since 9th Jul, 2012
- offline last seen May 5th, 2019
MythrilMoth
LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
MythrilMoth
Joined 9th Jul, 2012 ·
Offline
Sequels2
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MythrilMoth · 4.2k words · 129 77 · 8.6k views
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MythrilMoth · 3.7k words · 133 36 · 5.2k views
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Featured In14
Clopfics11,552 stories ·15,818 members
The Writers' Group56,460 stories ·9,300 members
Humanized Ponies!5,597 stories ·3,468 members
Twilight is Best Pony6,382 stories ·3,071 members
- All Mature2,244 stories ·650 members
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Completed Story Compendium21,068 stories ·1,703 members
Incest is Wincest4,021 stories ·5,202 members
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The writing was very good. You had me until the, uh, royal guard came to perform their duties. Not my cup of tea. That may be part of the reason for the downvotes. I saw nothing wrong with it from an objective viewpoint.
You better not make blue blood rape rarity!
4318245 Well she's not gonna rape herself, silly!
4318253 He better rape her good, too.
Congrats on the feature.
4319075 Thanks! I'm a little surprised this one featured.
Ah, if only it had been Flash Sentry instead of Emerald Blade, I would have loved to see the flame wars over that.
4319340
The feature box is a mystery like that. Eleven Months had a really high heat rating for several days and never got featured. Cleaning up the Mess lived on the top page of heat for a day or more and was only briefly featured and only with the mature filters off.
I think it basically requires a surge of upvote, usually pretty soon after the story was published.
4319362 Pretty much, yeah.
4319355 Bahaaaa.
Actually, I more or less pulled Emerald Blade out of my ass. He was never in the original plan for this story, he just...showed up. He IS based on a character from something else. And nobody's figured it out yet. 
Congrats on the feature. I am withholding a thumbs up or down because (to be brutally honest) it felt flat. The verbal exposition was pretty well done, but the actual "content" was dry and bland. It wasn't quite but nearly clinical feeling in the description. Again, this is just my opinion on the matter.
That said, the premise was good. It was an explanation that I haven't seen before. Bonus points for a good idea for the story.
All in all 7/10.
Best of luck in the future.
4319527 Thanks...mostly. Also, you did see the author's notes concerning the clinicality, yes? It's because the whole thing is from Twilight's POV.
4319685 I did not. After reading that note, it does explain a lot of it, but it still feels lackluster, as if she is completely 100% not interested in being there.
That said, don't mind me. I tend to be overly critical sometimes.
4319769 It's not that, it's that she lacks the frame of reference to "dirty it up".
4319775 I get what you are saying. Let me try this a different way, as I'm probably just not expressing what I mean very well.
I am a very detail orientated person. As such the scenes feel flat due to lack of detail and an overall fast pace for the short story.
Largely, I am just saying the story wasn't right for me. That said, best of luck with your future works.
4319799 Fair enough.
Winter Solstice is my birthday
DAMN! Sequel, This time, Celestia, Twilight and Luna with Shining Armor still in on the whole game!!!
Wonderful, just plain, honestly, odd and wonderful. Great.
~OreoKookie
Lost me about midway through when I realized everyone was humanized and the prose wasn't going to get any better. Not my kind of story.
4320346 "Realized"? It has the human tag. THE COVER ART IS HUMAN TWILIGHT. Sheesh!
I mean I can respect you not wanting to read it, but...damn.
I love this one! You made such a cute pairing of her and that OC. I loved it fully and have to say well done! That was amazing!
Passionless, devoid of any feelings or emotional investment, bland, basic sex with no hint of erotism, a hastily added romance that didn't do anything and the typical Celestia-as-a-total-slut clop. Eh, all in all, the only appropriate word to describe this would be "meh". Been there, done that. Painfully average, really. At least the spelling and layout were good, so that was a plus. The idea of the longest night being one where Celestia loses her power is an interesting one, however, one that deserved better than to be used as a mere excuse for a (bland) orgy.
I'll give you 5/10 for the effort, though that's perhaps a bit generous. No idea how this managed to get featured.
I'm going to agree that this did unfortunately feel pretty flat. It didn't really seem like anyone were enjoying themselves, which them proceeded to make the romance feel a little awkward.
Still, I do think there's good potential here, keep trying! =)
4321533
4321539
I'd just like to point out to both of you, as I've pointed out earlier, that this story is told from the point of view of Twilight, who is a socially introverted, inexperienced virgin who only knows the clinical terms for things because she's never experienced any of what's happening. What you call "flat", "passionless", and "emotionally void", people who actually understood this story call "properly written perspective".
That having been said...if you didn't like it, you didn't like it, and that's your prerogative.
4321558
No, it's not a "properly written perspective", it's just a bland, boring, uninspired story the kind of which there are thousands of on this site. Even if this hadn't been written from Twilight's perspective, it would still be bland, boring and uninspired. But really, Twilight has sex with her brother and that doesn't bring up the least bit of emotional response or inner turmoil? "Properly written perspective", please, give me a break.
One can have a socially introvert, inexperienced virgin who only knows clinical terms, and still have that same socially introvert, inexperienced virgin have some emotions, some character, some feelings and overall anything that can actually convince us she's a person and not a poorly programmed robot. See, the problem doesn't actually lie just with the characters (and I use that term losely) being flat, it's that everything in this story is flat, boring and uninspired.
It's something a computer would come up with if you told it to write a clopfic. It has characters having sex. That's it. There's nothing else to it. Nothing erotic and nothing arousing, so it fails as a clopfic, and because the characters are non-existant and boring 2D cardboard-cutouts, there is nothing for the reader to get emotionally invested in either, so it fails as a romance as well.
It's an average clopfic. Your "written from the perspective of an inexperienced virgin" excuse is just that, an excuse. It doesn't work. It doesn't make this story any less boring, flat and uninspired. Your characters certainly don't care at all about what they are doing, so why should your readers care?
4322219 Thank your for your opinions.
Sequel, please?
4323694 Perhaps. I have some ideas. We'll see.
4324165
4322368 Props where there due, to a writer who can take a kick in the gut like that with civility.
4324198 I've been writing a very long time. It's hardly the first time I've had a negative criticism of my work, nor will it be the last. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I only favorited it because of one line.
"When the guard climaxed, so did Celestia, her juices filling Twilight's mouth and setting her on fire."
That was a really funny mental image, because my brain decided to interpret that LITERALLY at first.
LITERALLY set her on fire.
I laughed really hard.
4324244 If it had been any other night than the Solstice, it WOULD have been literal.
4324209
Tackling concrit head on is the best way to grind up a few levels. 
Doesn't make 'em wrong opinions,
4324347 On the contrary. I only challenge misinformed or deliberately inflammatory opinions. I can't force people to like my story, and I'm not going to argue with people just because they don't like what I write.
4324277 Actually, that makes a lot of sense!
You've added to my head cannon.
4324366 For anyone wondering exactly what DOES happen to Celestia's partners if she tries to have sex on any other night of the year:
Imagine sticking your dick in the sun.
this was quite nice. sexy without going full blown hustler style terrible.
impressive.
i do hope celly and twily get together again, i still prefer twiluna but i really like the way you painted the twilestia pairing. as small a part as it may have been the conversations,feelings and the other occurrencesbetween them really stood out to me.
4324435 Glad you enjoyed it.
4324364 You misunderstand me. You never have to concede what you don't want to, but it's almost universally worthwhile to be able to forgo your own opinion and consider theirs' for a moment if for no other reason than to see from a different perspective. That is, after all, the same skill from which which we write characters from; finding different perspectives from one source.
Ancient chinese proverb: "One man called me a mule, I ignored him. Two men called me a mule, I bought a saddle."
4324514 I don't ignore the opinions of others, and I respect them. I simply disagree with them.
4324376 D:
I might not have a dick, but that still sounds rather terrible.
4322219 You've awakened the gazebo.
Woona cannot not unsee
The obvious followup is after Luna's return, when she re-instates the festivities she conducts on the longest night.
Think the associations between lunar cults and fertility rituals, and go all crazy-nasty from there.
4326422 Actually, the first sequel, if any, will be a...somewhat different rendition of the events of "Friendship is Magic Parts 1 & 2".
Does that mean Luna has a powerless day as well?
)
thanks for the mental image brain...
so there is a reason for the episode2 appearance of Luna...
If Celestia on a normal day is sticking your dick into the sun.. what is Luna's? Sticking your dick into the moon...
She must like anal then.... (sorry
Actually.. The moon makes the tide..
So either she forces the cum in tides. or the balls would vibrate so much that.. they.. would..rip
4326839 Sorry if it wasn't obvious, but this is set BEFORE the events of the series.
I haven't thought about what Luna's problem would be. Not even planning to use her for ANY of the sequels (assuming I get around to writing sequels).
4327155
More a thought on my part about Luna's canon appearance on the shortest night.
4320032 Naw, sequel but with Twilight staying for the whole time!