Hayride

California10978

California10978 #1 · Aug 25th, 2014 · 1 · ·

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So that's how this AJ meets Twilight?

MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #2 · Aug 25th, 2014 · · ·

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4902878 Well, she met her the same way as in canon. She just...also needed some after-gangbang soreness balm from her.

Bronystories

Bronystories #3 · Aug 25th, 2014 · 12 · ·

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Hmmm... I wanted to like this, but I had a problem with character motivation. Things happened too quickly for Applejack.

A blowjob should always a risky proposition in a rapefic. There's an unspoken tête-à-tête between the rapist and victim, which creates a beautiful juxtaposition in power. You have the rapist, who exerts dominion over victim, relinquishing some power by giving the victim the ability to severely injure their assailant. It slightly empowers the victim to know that they have the potential to harm their rapist. Applejack has a mouthful of strong teeth which could cause serious damage to any man foolish enough to stick his dick in an unwilling oral cavity. Typically, a blowjob can only happen in a rapefic once the victim is coerced into capitulating. Have the rapist threaten to beat her if she bites, or offer a slower build up, where the rapist perform cunnilingus on Applejack. He makes her cum against her will, then asks her to suck his dick. "I made you feel good. Now I want you to make me feel good. It's only fair." Play on Applejack's guilt, or her unwillingness to hurt her family. Perhaps a fear of being beaten. Something!

There has to be an explanation as to why the victim doesn't bite the rapist's dick off during a forced blowjob. Applejack kicked, so we know her will hadn't broken yet.

Also, giving a handjob and a blowjob simultaneously? Is Applejack a rape victim or a porn star? There are certain scenarios which make for a convincing rape scene. The tuggy/blowie combo wasn't one of them.

I thought the ending was an interesting twist. That premise might make for an entertaining series. What were the last sexual exploits of the mane six before they met each other? Use the pilot episode as inspiration for the end of each chapter and write back from there.

C197

C197 #4 · Aug 25th, 2014 · 2 · ·

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Only reason I didn't like is that i have a strong disdain for the Mane 6 falling in love with random nobodies.

draconaut67

draconaut67 #5 · Aug 26th, 2014 · 2 · ·

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i will kill all 7 of them

20 Percent More Brony

20 Percent More Brony #6 · Aug 29th, 2014 · · ·

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Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles #7 · Aug 31st, 2014 · 5 · ·

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I would liken reading this genre to binge drinking.
I keep doing it, even though I know full well going into it, that I will feel awful afterwards.

Starlight Comet

Starlight Comet #8 · Dec 14th, 2014 · · ·

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Mind if I make a sequel in which Big Mac finds out and goes on a rampage where he kills everypony involved, with Braeburn being the last?

MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #9 · Dec 14th, 2014 · · ·

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5381186

Starlight Comet

Starlight Comet #10 · Dec 14th, 2014 · · ·

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5381381 huh? Is that a yes or a no

MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #11 · Dec 14th, 2014 · · ·

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5381704 That's an "I'd really rather you didn't".

Starlight Comet

Starlight Comet #12 · Dec 14th, 2014 · · ·

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5381961 good to know; thanks for replying anyway.

Epicazeroth

Epicazeroth #13 · Dec 15th, 2014 · · ·

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I don't want to come off as one of those people who reads something and then demands a sequel, because that's not my intention. But, I do think this a very interesting concept you have with this and "Night of the Winter Solstice". Like Bronystories, I also think it would be very interesting if you made a series of this, focused on each of the Mane Six. Possibly other ponies as well, but then it wouldn't really fit in with the "before the pilot" premise; mainly just the Mane Six.

MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #14 · Dec 15th, 2014 · · ·

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5383375 There's more stories coming in the Solstice series. One with Pinkie Pie is coming up sometime later this month or in January, in fact.

iamli3

iamli3 #15 · Dec 28th, 2014 · 1 · 1 ·

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ugh forget the fic can i get a link to that gorgeous cover image ♥_♥?....

4932897
you.de/media/you/you_media/presse_5/YOU_logo_2013_ab_100px_Breite.jpg ....

Tatsurou

Tatsurou #16 · Jan 13th, 2015 · 2 · ·

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4903248
I agree with you on the point of how this Summer Solstice sequence should go, as well as what you said about the way the scene built. It wasn't a believable rape. (However, since rape of the genuine sort is distasteful, the entire setup here almost makes it sound like AJ set this up because she had a rape fetish and confided in a few of her cousins at the last family reunion, not expecting them to set up actually doing it at this one.)

Unfortunately, of the ones left, only Rainbow Dash could have a believable quasi-consensual encounter, and only Rarity might face something otherwise without breaking. The only way Fluttershy could have a sexual encounter without breaking is with severe OOC, a secret long-term relationship...or possibly a bear or crazy vines. Rainbow Dash has any number of options available - from the cliché of her being 'extremely open' to the less cliché 'getting ahead at the job by giving a head on the job' - and Rarity, given her obsession with hooking up with Blueblood at this point, has only the options of being raped, getting a deal for materials, securing a contract, or a Blueblood cosplayer.

...although Rainbow could be Fluttershy's last sexual encounter prior to the Summer Sun Celebration.

Either way, I think it'd be great if it then continued into Nightmare Moon trying to conquer the Mane 6 sexually...or possibly them activating the Elements with a lesbian orgy.

MythrilMoth