• Member Since 17th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Steel Quill


A pony with too much time on his hooves and too much plot to work with, in more ways than one. Porn Pope (TM). Also on FA!

Comments ( 23 )

Was great read, but not a fan of "softening" the fetish.

10050568
Thank you for reading!

This is my first foray with this direction. So I’m a little green at this. Was there any positive takeaways for you from this story?

its fine nice work :twilightsmile:

10050616
Thank you very much! Did anything in particular stand out for you?

Are you ever going to do a femdom story involving the Shadowbolts?

10050685
I can't say that I have any plans for the Shadowbolts right now. There's nothing in them that really jumps right out at me at this time. :twilightsheepish:

I'm not one for infidelity but I must admit, this some fine nice work.

10051024
Thank you very much!:twilightsmile:

This can’t get any better! So awesome!

Most Shining/Chrysalis clop is fetishy bullshit.

This wasn't. Kudos for that!

~Skeeter The Lurker

10051649
Thank you very much! I was aiming to make it be a bit more realistic and less leaning on fetish elements for content. Sometimes, a story just needs a good dose of vanilla.

Despite the debauchery, still wholesome at the end. Is it technically infidelity if there is an agreement for an open marriage between the two?

10051663
The idea is this: Shining and Cadance both are good with the open marriage. The main rule though is that if they want to bring in someone, they have to tell the other first and get their ok. That's their main requirement so the other doesn't get to feeling suspicious or negative. In this case here, Shining didn't ask first before having fun with Chrysalis. Thus the infidelity.

10051658

Amen brother.

A-fuckin-men.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Plot twist: Cadence gave the okay for Chrysalis to do that ahead of time.

10051691
That... still doesn’t seem like that works, but eh, alright.

APC

Another great read; thank you.

The more in depth characterisation and build up drew me into the story and really got the imagination going. This felt realistic from the start and anything too extreme in bed would have overshadowed this I think. Although often it is the extreme that I love to visualise. 😉

Such a hot read. I like how they're friends in this story. Not to mention the aftermath of it all.

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Pretty solid, not big on subtlety.
-Is the alt universe worldbuilding really necessary? It seems like this story could be everything it wants to be without quite as much setup.
-married to a Princess -- shouldn't be capitalized in this usage.
-Some dialog punctuation issues. Examples: ‘Down boy.’ Shining told himself into you here.” Shining finally said and fulfill that.” She said
-Maybe a bit overboard with the physical descriptions? But I suppose some people will like it that way.
-Always fun to see the cover image depicted in the story.
-This story leaves you feeling as love-smothered as poor Shining Armor.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 95/100
Allure: 75/100
Enticement: 58/100
Immersion: 80/100
Prose Quality: 82/100
Total Score: 390/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

Bravo. That was... easily the hottest thing I'd read here, in a long time.

Vote for the second part with Shining, Cadence and Chrysalis.

Login or register to comment