• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen May 15th

Jorofrarie


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Source

Nothing in the universe is permanent. Nothing but one pony.

Now, in the darkness of the abyss, Luna remembers. And maybe, just maybe, this might not be the end, but rather a new beginning.

She might even see her sister again.


The great and powerful Chinchillax made a wonderful audio-play all on his own accord! Give it a look!
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6mJ9dlSlbY]

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 49 )

In the beginning, there was darkness, and it was without form or shape. And in addition to the darkness, there was also me. And I moved on the face of the darkness, and I saw that I was alone, and I wept.

And then, there was light.

Dear god That was amazing

Wow...just...wow...:pinkiegasp:

Interesting. Since my impression is that this fic aims at being a bit more unconventional in its imagery, I think there are a few places where the writing is unnecessarily explicit. Here's an example:

And then they pulsed, releasing all of the energy needed to create a new universe. The single pulse collided upon itself, and from that collision exploded forth creation.

The buildup to this moment, not to mention the content of the sentences themselves is enough to tell us what is happening. There is no need to then go ahead and say: "we're creating a new universe here, got it?" for good measure.

Other than that, it was a good read. Have a like! :raritywink:

Wow.
I really liked it.:twilightsmile:

Very deep, very philosophical... creationist and evolutionary at the same time.

The fate of the universe is warm, fuzzy, and useless. With a chance of Luna.

Wait, so Luna is the elder one?

Mind. Blown.

Awesome work!

So heart.
Such feels.
Wow.
:moustache:

Wow, that was kind of beautiful. I'm glad I read it.

An interesting take on the whole idea of the immortal sisters. Reminds me of a story called "The Last Question", by Isaac Asimov, where a computer is asked if entropy can be reversed with ultimately similar effects.

4281581 I actually read that one not too long ago. It was pretty awesome, and more than a bit creepy... :twilightsheepish:

how beautiful and hopeful
thank you author

I LOOOOOVE IT! Oh, I love stories where the End of the Universe gets its ass kicked. I also like Luna being the more primordial of the two sisters.

3997391 The darkness was there first, so if you regard the princesses as the primordial spirits of light and dark, it makes sense for Luna to be the elder.

4281768
I don't think it's a coincidence Isaac Asimov considered it his favorite short story among all the ones he wrote :raritywink:

*slow clapping*

This is my vision of how the universe will be in the end. Endless, eternal, and empty.

Damn dude.

So...
They are C'tans.

By the way, "Hello, Sedna" goes so well as prequel to this story, same feeling of loneliness and void.

Avox #24 · Apr 24th, 2014 · · 2 ·

Bro, I'm happy for you and all, but... you might want to be a little less in your face with the whole "featured on EqD" thing. Writing it in all caps in the short description is a little bit much, at least in my opinion.

Well well well. This story was quite interesting.

Why did Celestia-Sun explode? She wasn't a supergiant!

(Science nerds ruin everything!) :trollestia:

Interesting attributions. Reminds me of Padomay and Anuiel.

4285513 @Alondro: Because if she became a black hole, we more juvenile bronies wouldn't be able to stop giggling immaturely. :twilightblush:

Really depressing at first and then happy. Best version of Celestia & Luna made ponies I've seen.

4285821 If she became a black hole, we could joke that (The PC Police have deemed this joke offensive and have taken Alondro out and shot him a thousand times... but they used bows and arrows cuz guns are bad, m-kay?)

4283767 Sadly enough, we're probably going out in more of a fizzle than a bang.

4282646 Awww shucks, making me blush... :twilightblush:

4282724 I loooove the fics where Luna is the eldest. I personally find the whole power struggle that most fics have annoying as all hell, and even in canon Luna is the smaller and younger sister. :twilightangry2:

4285513 You say that, and yet you are unaware of the amount of cake that she liked to eat. Actually, I think I heard some of the castle staff giving her that nickname... :unsuresweetie:

4284806 I don't even Warhammer. Sorry man. :facehoof:

4286361 Damn, that's a pretty awesome compliment!

4284835 Read that story, it was pretty awesome. Then again, it WAS featured so it was kinda hard to miss. >.>


Sorry for the late replies, got a bit sidetracked by multiple things. Thanks for the support guys!

4287806 Celestia: JUST MORE O' ME TA LOVE!!! *she does the Fat Bastard thing* Ooooo, AHM SEH SEXXEH!! LOOK ET MAH TITTIES!!

*everypony vomits* :pinkiesick:

4289148 "I ATE A BABEH! OOOH AY!"

...yep, that is rather scarring to imagine good ol' Celly like that. o.o

4290739 Especially considering where on a horse the mammaries... are... OH GOD I IMAGINED IT!! *projectile vomit!* :fluttershbad::pinkiesick:

now, this wasn't really my kind of story - nothing personal, but i didn't really enjoy it. just not my style. But! It was well-written, and I'm the one who decided to click on it anyway, so there will be no downvote from me. Good job on a good fic

Damn. I'm really not sure how to put into words what this story made me feel.

Pretty good.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This is a really fantastic piece. It stands head and shoulders above any creation story on this site.

As soon as I saw the title and the synopsis I just knew I was going to do a reading of this. This is such a fantastic story.

Thanks for writing it.

See ya on the next one...

4349019 ...Possible Bastion reference there? If so, I think this whole story just took on a whole different meaning... :derpyderp1:

It appears this universe is exactly identical to the old one.

Hap

A less-than-flat universe, presumably with less dark energy than ours (or, none at all). Perhaps a nearly-flat universe like ours is the result of a universe where the magic has been used up? Dark energy is the decay product of magic? Luna gave up one cycle, and blew up all the magic, leaving a universe that is nearly flat and without magic, that will not collapse again.

Or, you know, it's an alternate universe or something.

This was quite enjoyable to read.

All my love. :heart:

So, how is it explained that Luna is the younger sister?

Now this just became my favorite Celestia and Luna story. :heart:

I hate to be pedantic and dodge out of a discussion of a story's higher merits, but the writing here was a huge impediment for me. Over and over, this story drifts into repetitious descriptors—far more than I can accept as being a quirk of author style. What could have been an interesting story turns boring because of the word chaff. Let me pull out a few examples from the first 1000 words.

It had been cold for what seemed like eternity, and there was absolutely no chance of that fact changing any time soon. Or ever, for that matter.

"What seemed like" is weakening this. "Absolutely" is weakening this. Bridging the idea across two sentences—instead of just punching us in the face with it—is weakening this.

The slightly rambling mantra had been repeated for millennia on end, never ceasing for even a moment.

"Slightly" is weakening this. "On end" is weakening this. "Even" is weakening this. The doubled description ("had been repeated", "never ceasing") could work, but at this point it's just exacerbating the story's refusal to make strong choices.

Back in that era, the universe had been a wild and violent place, still calming slightly from the rough forces of the archaic and primeval birth of the universe that had happened billions of years earlier.

"Wild and violent". "Slightly". "Archaic and primeval". How is the last bit relevant to the thought here?

I did read the whole thing through. I do feel the same cognitive dissonance on Luna being the driving force that other readers have felt as well, and I think the lack of an attempt to reconcile this with canon does hurt the story. Why do ponies overwhelmingly credit Celestia when Luna did most of the work? I can buy this choice, but it leaves a big question unanswered.

Other than that, there are some interesting ideas here. I'd love it if they had more punch, though, because the weak writing killed the story's ability to move me.

5536010 ..............................How much does that sharpened log hurt?

So, Luna is essentially the universe, and she will continue this cycle of rebirth forever? Interesting.

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