• Member Since 5th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen April 27th

TheGreyPotter


27, Female, Iowan, College Graduate. Favorite Pony: Celestia. Favorite Not Pony: Discord. Yeah, I like Equestria's Gods, so that's what most my fics are going to be about!

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The tyrannical Shadow Stallion oppresses Equestria, coating the land in a thick layer of clouds, tightly controlling the population. Three children, the unicorns Celestia and Luna, along with a Draconequus, Discord, must live up to their fate. They must find the Elements of Harmony and take up their rightful place as Equestrias new gods and saviors.

Adventure and Friendshipping mix, intended to be a possible prequel to the show. Featured on EqD since January 09, 2012. Six Stars.

Chapters (79)
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Comments ( 1280 )

When I read this fanfic over at Equestria Daily... I was totally blown away. And I'm NOT joking when I am saying that this is the best piece of fanfic I've ever read. Please, keep up the Good work!

MOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! :yay: :pinkiehappy: :rainbowkiss:
*awkward Discord hug* :twilightsmile: :pinkiehappy:

Awesome writing and the story is just to amazing. Waiting for the next parts :)

No glaring grammatical/spelling errors, part from maybe the capitalisation of the "S" in "Spartan" - as it's an adjective, should it be "spartan"? Eh, details. Overall, this was a really well done first chapter. Celestia's first person perspective was executed in a believable manner that conveyed her personality well, all the descriptions were vivid enought to picture but vague enough to be plausible etc etc. Perhaps the only issue I have is with the ending; personally, I found the 'cliff-hanger' a little unnecessary, or at least, not handled (for want of a better word) 'amazingly'. Wait...nevermind, the switching of perspectives thing kind explains that. Sorry :facehoof:

Huh, I like Discord's characterisation in this as much as in 'Fostering Intelligence', how about that? The whole childish-playing-imaginary-with-Luna thing contrasted nicely with his potentially revolutionary ideas about his own race. He's absolutely adorable! You know, in that quirky, chaotic manner you'd expect of him. I'll hold off commenting on Luna's character until the next chapter, but the scene in generally was brilliantly light-hearted, subtly tinged with melancholy, thanks to the reality of what Discord's initial plans for Luna were. Ah, the joys of foal/draconequus-hood innocence.

One brief note, some people might take issue with the inclusion of several of Discord's thoughts being in present tense, as opposed to the majority of being in past tense, calling it tense confusion. I find it a really interesting literary device, adds character to the first person narrative.

Anyway, I like where this is going; nice work once again!

As expected, you've done Luna just as well as the previous two. Her honesty, naivity and ability to see through Discord's guise, even if she doesn't fully understand what she sees, distinguish her fully as a character. Haven't go any further criticism, so all I'll offer in a congrats for what you've accomplished so far. Anywho, I'll keep reading, but will probably start commenting every three chapters as opposed to every one; it'll give me more material to comment with and allow me to read without interuption~

250930 You're actually the first one to notice the past/present switching, or at least the first to point it out :twilightblush: It was a huge, huge deal for me though. Switching the entire piece to present tense made it really awkward in places, but putting the thoughts in past made it sound unnatural.... I mean, when does one think in past tense? :rainbowhuh:

Right, there were a few grammatical errors, just silly things like missing speech marks and the likes, but nothing that detracted from the story, which is still really well done. There are moments so unbearably cute that they can only be defined as "d'awww" inducing, others that yield a surprising melancholy, those that hint at greater forces beyond the understanding of the protaganists - plenty of great parts all around.

But I do have SOME constructive criticism to offer. One of the hardest parts of writing is definitely making speech feel 'organic', and whilst the interactions between Luna and Discord feel this way, those between Celestia and Discord; especially when its from Celestia's perspective, just don't 'flow' as well. I get that the two still feel slightly awkward around one another, but that doesn't fully explain it. If you think that this might be a problem, I'd suggest using more sentences to describe the way in which they're delivering the speech - might help a little. Other than that, as you continue writing and get further into the characters you'll probably do this automatically ;P

But yeah, other than that predominantly minor gripe, awesome job~!

These past three chapters have noticably improved, especially with regard to the interactions between three characters - damn good job. Didn't really notice anything that I could pick up on for constructive criticism... other than...

... Celestia was a fool not to pack a towel. Silly filly. :P

... well crap, I had put this on my "to possibly read list" now I know the author of sunset looms wrote it. crap that's alot of reading to catch up now.

Oy! Potter!
Are you sure you can do more of this? It seems to take a lot of effort to put into something this good. I wonder how you do it...:twilightoops:

I think my gunea pigs thought that I was going to die this morning, when I found out that you had updated this story. :pinkiehappy:

Amazing chapter! :heart:

i'd just like to point out “I hope the city itself doesn’t small this bad…” I eyed the crowds. it should be smell but all in all its amazing and i can't wait for the next chapter.:pinkiehappy:

This is... too cute. I think I'm about to die of a heart attack.

Yet, another excellent chapter! :pinkiehappy:

So... Discord just found the gem from the Element of Kindness necklace?

''...I could clearly see his cutie mark, a big lollypop, one with rainbows slowly circling outward. I wondered, did he have a sweet tooth? ''

My Pedophile Detector went off the scale there!!

Poor Woona, I hope Discord and Celestia come and fetch her soon.

:yay:
Another chapter!

Giggly loopy Discord is best Discord.

251278 Yeah, I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel.

Never thought I would ever find myself saying this, but... Yay Discord!

Need more chapters!!!!
oh btw this is my favorite series and thanks for writing these for me and others alike.
:rainbowkiss:

D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww:fluttershysad: my :heart: Exploded from all the D'awwwwwwwwww from discord I hope they stay alive.

Needs more chapters.

312332 Well, you're in luck. I think the story's maybe a little bit less than half over. :twilightsmile:

Excellent. I like long stories. I like reading too, but that's beside the point.

I also really like the style of writing chapters by character viewpoints. I've seen it done really well twice: here, and Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. So, kudos to you :twilightsmile:

'Did you leave me? Hello? You're.... YOU'RE FAT!'
Oh god I lost it. :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

So glad I decided to read this story. Looks like Tia's gonna get the Element of Loyalty.

:pinkiehappy::heart::heart::yay::yay: That freaking chapter!! :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

Excelent!

Well, time for Tia to orchestrate some sort of great escape. Maybe.

oooh I'm so excited to see what happens next :trollestia:

Really enjoying this story so far, deserves more views :D will deffinatley recommend this to brony friends :pinkiehappy:

I never thought in a million years that I would find myself saying this, but...

Discord RULES!!!

Awesome, awesome chapter! It had me giggling along with Discord at his sheer elation.

This is awesome. I love the direction you're taking with this. I definently approve. Discord and Luna are awesome.

one of my favorite storys so far. you sir deserve a muffin:derpytongue2:

ohhhh materialisation. That is one handy skill.
loving this series, keep up the good work ^^

Did I just witness Discords first sign of madness?

I screamed when I saw that the new chapter was out. :rainbowlaugh:
This Discord chapter was awesome, you're so amazing sugarcube! :twilightblush:

393560So sad. :pinkiesad2::fluttershysad: Loony Luna is sad

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