The first time we danced, she broke my jaw in three places.

The life of a disposable minion in the service to the Dread Ahuizotl is filled with acts of senseless violence and hardship, normally ending in a hospital or unmarked grave, but for Disposable Minion #3, the job just got more interesting.

He fell in love.

And love hurts.

Credits to the amazing Luvlessi for the cover art
Background music: The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer
With a wonderful reading by Luvlessi
And a second reading by Crafty Reads
Featured on Equestria Daily

Anypony will tell you that Princess Celestia is the most amazing pony in Equestria. She's graceful, she's beautiful, and she always knows just what to say. Her decisions are wise and her manners are impeccable. Some might go so far as to say she's completely perfect.

Celestia has a secret, however. As it turns out, she actually is completely perfect. She's utterly infallible in every aspect. And boy, is she sick of it.

Now she's determined to manage to make just one little thing go wrong.

It won't, of course. After all, she's perfect.

---------
Written for the Equestria Daily Pre-reader battle: April 2013- The prompt was "Celestia's terrible secret- Revealed!" Unfortunately it didn't work nearly as well as I'd hoped, but hopefully someone gets a cheap chuckle out of it.

After breaking her wing and being grounded for a couple days, Rainbow Dash gradually finds she's a lot smaller than she realized.

My tags: Heartwarming

Inspired by this wonderful artwork:
Colored Source
Non-Colored Source

On top of her universal magical talent, teleportation was Twilight's specialty. With her newfound Alicorn power, even vast distances would be within her reach. She was so certain that there was nowhere they would find themselves other than their destination, she even offered to teleport herself and Celestia all the way to the Crystal Empire, together.

Of course, nowhere is exactly where they find themselves.

For a week.

(Oneshotober 2014)

After a busy day celebrating princess Mi Amore Cadenza's birthday, Shining Armor and his wife take time to wind down, relax, and talk. The topic of their conversation soon moves in an unexpected direction, and the couple finds that their marriage still has surprises in store for them both.

Cover image by naroclie. Used with permission.

This story is a sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder

Schadenfreude is a simple pony. He enjoys the little things. Taking up as much room on an elevator as he likes. Sleeping through movies. And being a general annoyance to everyone around him.Of course, this leads to everyone around him disliking him on principle. Which only makes him smile wider.

After one too many "incidents" at his normal job, his employer takes it upon himself to "volunteer" him to work at the castle. As a butler.

For Prince Blueblood.

You can imagine the kind of shenanigans he gets up to now.

------------------------------------------------
See that [Incomplete] tag below? Yeah. It's happening.

You asked for it. Sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder, and the train wreck that started it all, Schadenfreude.

(New cover art by the fantastic TodayIWriteFanfics!)

What would you do, if you met a pony who was at once your brother, and yet not? Applebuck wishes to reunite with his 'Cousin JayJay', and braves the dimensional divide to reach his goal. But being a small foal, how will he deal with a world in which everything is flipped? His friends, his family, and even... himself?

Dear Diary,

I have selected my new name for this job: "Fleur De Lis."

The target's name is Fancy Pants. He's rich, he's well-known, and most importantly, he's single. This is going to be a breeze.

Cadance didn't know what to expect when her formerly banished Aunt Luna returned from her thousand year banishment. But, she's quite entertained by the hilarity. Especially if it means a chance to play a little joke.

Edited by Habanc. Preread by The Albinocorn, Foals Errand, and Timaeus

Cover art was done by Silfoe and used with permission! In fact, this fic is a gift for her!

Now with Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI.

Derpy Hooves. Loveable goofball, caring mother, dedicated mailpony.

Of course, few ponies know what she really does for a living.

Now available in Czech translation!