Name: Yipyapper Title: Hitch a Ride Genre Tags: Slice of Life Other information you wish to share/specific needs: No other consideration is needed, just want some constructive criticism for the first time in my writing career. I don't generally use prereaders or work with anyone, so I'm looking forward to my first real review.
Name: Phoenix Quill Title: Somewhere between home and Manehatten Genre Tags: Slice of Life Other information: Here is the link to the story I have already submitted this to Equestria Daily, and someone suggested that I send it to you for advice. I would be most grateful if you can help in any way possible. It already has one strike.
Name: BRyeMC Title: The Poncho Chronicles I: The Beans Genre Tags: Romance, Comedy, Adventure Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I want you to be honest as possible since I can't get comments on the story at all. All I want is some feedback to help make the future stories as good as possible.
Name: Onocarcass Title: Adventure In The Solace Isles Genre Tags: Adventure Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Whatever you feel you need to highlight, but I already know I need an editor so there may be some issues along those lines.
Name: ArguingPizza Title: Forlorn Hope Genre Tags: Dark, Human Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Grammar, as well as things such as what the following quote mentions: Two examples I can easily turn to are:
1) When you describe Celestia feeling pain in her feathers. Feathers don't have nerve endings, they won't be able to feel pain in them. 2) You use "self-loathing" when you're describing her hatred for everything (other than herself). Not very logical use of the word.
These errors have since been fixed but similar errors no doubt exist that I have failed to catch on multiple read throughs
Name: Drake Clawfang Title: Mega Mare Genre Tags: Adventure, Crossover, AU Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm attempting to clean the fic up in response to a declined submission from Equestria Daily. The specific flaws noted that I also realized were a reliance on bookisms and telly talk in my dialogue, and was advised to make Twilight an interesting character since the story focuses on her near exclusively. I'm currently revising the fic to fix up these errors and establish a stronger character arc for Twilight than I previously had, and would appreciate an outsider's opinion on my efforts and what else I could do to improve the story.
Name: The Albinocorn Title: Sunset of Time Tags: Adventure, Dark, Sad Other information: Just looking for ways to improve. I know I can always do better.
Name: Anonymous Hornet Title: Chronicles of Paradise Damned Genre Tags: Romance, Tragedy, Human, Alternate Universe, Dark Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I do not request any specific reviewer, but the person that does end up reviewing my story will have to be patient. Unlike what is commonly posted on this site, my story is done in book format, ie. the chapters are large, like that in a high level book. Reading through all the chapters will definitely take some time.
Thanks in Advance! -Anonymous Hornet
Reviewer: FoughtDragon01 Status: Complete (Story has since been deleted)
Name: Cerulean Voice Title: The Equestria Games: Flight of the Pegasi Genre Tag: Slice of Life Other information: I have attempted to write a story as close to "show episode format" as possible. Please tell me where I have succeeded and where I have failed.
Name: SleeplessScribe Title: Moving the Stars Genre Tags: Romance, Slice of Life? Other information you wish to share/specific needs: First, I'd like to ask that everything be kept to private messages. It's just the way I am, but I don't like going public with these kinds of things.
Second, this is a rather odd request. I don't like this story in the least, therefore I'll be rewriting it. What I was hoping to get out a review was:
A) What I did wrong in someone else's eyes B) What I did right C) Someone to discuss the rewritten version of my story with
Reviewer: Corejo Status: Complete (PM'd to author)
Name: JawJoe Title: Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Yes, this is a long one. For someone who likes gratuitous cartoon violence & gore. Made its rounds in the Featured Box and Equestria Daily. Should be practically free of mechanical errors (typos, grammar,...). Mainly looking for a review on plot coherence and characters. I've been told the story gets rather confusing, especially towards the end; I'd love to hear some thoughts on that. My prose was called overly purple by some, while others praised it; I'd also like a verdict on that, too. I realise, given the story's length, that this will take a while. Massive thanks to whoever picks it up.
Name: Crowscrowcrow Title: Trixies Forest Retreat Genre Tags: Sad Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I have no experience writing stories but fair bit of experience in role-playing. Part of my concern is whether any of that experience translates and what I should work on to improve. I've only recently developed an interest in reading fan-fiction, entirely the MLP communities fault for making such great stuff, and had so much fun reading I felt inspired to give it a try myself.
Name: MrTweady Title: X-Com PA (Pony Addition) Genre Tags: Gore, Dark, Adventure, Crossover Specific Reviewer Request: None Other Information: I would like the review of my story more focused on grammar than anything else.
Name: Scramblers and Shadows Title: The Stormclouds Beneath Your Hooves Genre Tags: Sad Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm not particularly interested in mechanical problems (unless, I suppose, there's a consistent problem). Rather, I'd like to know how effective you find the characterisation, theme, prose style, plot and so forth. And, especially, if there are any tricks I missed in communicating the piece, I'd like to know about them.
Name: BlackFireGallop Title: Remnants Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure, Gore, Mature, Alternate Universe, Sci-Fi Specific Reviewer Request: None Other Information: this story is translated from French, it was already heavely edited and corrected, but feel free to point out anything you find weird. Otherwise, I need the review to be as complete as possible, like a full analysis from it. It would help me greatly.
Name: Roranicus Title: A Dream of Sunny Days Genre Tags: Adventure, Dark, Sad Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I saw a few of your reviews and found them fair. A Dream of Sunny Days is my first serious story and it got mainly positive feedback so far. While I do think I'm on the right track, I feel it wouldn't hurt to have someone more experience then I am take an in depth look at it and point out any problems I might not be aware of. I plan for the story to be a long and epic one, so an early review could help me fix problems before they become more serious.
Name: Soto Konoha Title: Operation: CUPPCAKES Genre Tags: Random, Romance Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Hate blank spaces, but you can give me anyone you want. Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Nice to see you guys hitting the group off really well. If you can, may you focus less on punctuation and grammar. Characterization and genre-specific details are mainly what I am looking for in this story. Thank you!
Name: Oroboro Title: The Heart of an Author Genre Tags: Teen, Gore, Romance, Dark, Crossover. Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Howdy. Hoping to get this story reviewed, as I've been working on it all year and recently completed it a few weeks ago. The story is done and over with, rather long, and I won't really go back and do anything to it other than minor grammatical revisions. What I'm looking for in a review is feedback on plot, characters, pacing, and any particular bad writing habits of mine I tend to repeat often. The story is as it is, and I have a general idea where some of my faults lie, but I'm hoping feedback will help me improve and give me some things to keep an eye out for in future writing. Note: A lot of people say this, but the story is written to be fully accessible without any knowledge of the work it's being crossed over with, and a large number of my readers seem to agree. Thanks, -Oroboro
Name: 111segasonic Title: Scattered Seeds Genre Tags: Dark, Comedy, Crossover, Adventure, Human. Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I would love it if you could help me come up with a better description.
Name: Show Stopper Title: One Last Mission Genre Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe Specific Reviewer Request: None Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm trying to figure out if i'm portraying the Mane 6 in character and whether my OC is well written or not. Anthing else that needs work would be appreciated too.
Name: Keam Title: 13th of December Genre Tags: Slice of Life Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'd be prefer that the review focus on plot, characters, world building etc. above spelling and grammar, which I'm well-aware of not is the best, mostly due to not having english as native language. thank you.
Name: Daemon of Decay Title: Asylum Genre Tags: Sad, Adventure Specific Reviewer Request (if any): n/a Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm looking more for a look at style and flow. A few of the glaring problems with the story like glacial pacing are hard to fix at this point because it's very long - it's stuff I have to pay attention for the next story, as to fix it now would require cutting lots of chapters.
Name: Hazeshift Title: Learning About Colors Genre Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life Specific Reviewer Request (if any): ...Nah Other information you wish to share/specific needs: a couple readers asked me if i was going to add on to this and i said i might so before that i want to get a better look at it. if possible go a bit deeper on characterization, what to focus on and what is lacking
Name: Mazu Ronin Title: The Dazzling Crusade Genre Tags: Gore, Comedy, Slice of Life, Human Other information you wish to share: i want a complete anilyzation for this story.
Name: AdamThePony Title: Hand in Hoof Genre Tags: Human, Adventure, Comedy, Dark Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Any reviewer would do, but one specializing in human-centric stories would be best. Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Suggestions/advice for improvement, ideas to work with, potential paths to pursue going forward.
This story is perhaps the one I am most proud of, but the dearth of comments is something that I think is killing me, as I am unsure if I am doing well or not. The bookshelf additions and new followers point towards the former, but I think a professional insight may be best for me to assure this. I ask for commentary, not for the sake of popularity, but for the sake of having people tell me what they think, good or ill. I feel that only through the thoughts of others will I be able to know where to go.
Name: PaulAsaran Title: Guide Them Genre Tags: Gore, Sad, Dark, Alternate Universe (Mature rating) Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Guide Them is part of a series of stories (the Them-verse) in which no one story reveals everything about what's happened to the world, but each reveals a little bit. As such, there will be some things inevitably unexplained. Essentially, all the stories are intended to be read as a set, so I don't think questions like "why didn't you explain X?" will be necessary (although criticisms for why we chose this format are welcome).
Let it be known that I'm more interested in plot critique than grammar and style.
NOTE: Not all of the Them-verse stories have been written yet: there are at least four more coming sometime in the near future. As such, the series has no clearly defined beginning or ending at the moment – those stories will be written last.
Name: Banana Prince Title: Chochin no Uma Genre Tag: Slice of Life Notes: This story is an a reimagining of a G3 character, Kimono, as a G4 character. I don't like G3, but I do see that some of it is salvagable and I hope that the idea of adapting G3 more can catch on, so I want this to be good.
Name: WIL_I_ZIN Title: And Then the Rain Began to Fall Genre Tags: Sad, Human Other information you wish to share/specific needs: This was a contest entry piece for the EQD more most dangerous contest. As they just released the top ten listing fics of that contest, I didn't score on it. I wish to have some reviewers give me some pointers and or critiques on my writing so I will be able to improve my writing for the next contest. I thank you and your team ahead of time for both your time and consideration.
Name: Lost_Marbles Title: A Game of Kings and Pretty Pony Princesses Genre Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Gore Other information you wish to share/specific needs: This is a rewrite to my first attempt at writing a story. I have an editor and a proofreader who really help out a lot, but I'd like to hear how my story holds up when looked at from a third party that is not invested in it. The sixth chapter (the mini climax for the first act) is ready to be released, it just hasn't been released yet for certain reasons. Here is the link for your reviewing convenience: http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/718267 The password to chapter VI is lostmarbles
Name: Scramblers and Shadows Title: Class Genre Tags: Slice of Life, Romance Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Other information you wish to share/specific needs: My main focus with this piece is style and voicing. Beyond that, I'd prefer a review centred on characterisation, theme, plot, &c. rather rather than mechanics.
Name: Crystalis McCloud Title: Equestria's Strife Online Genre Tags: Crossover, Adventure, Human Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Just looking for a general review. A perspective on how I've managed to build the story so far, characterizations, structural errors, the works.
Name: Shattered Heart Title: Tumult Genre Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Romance (soon to be) Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Any willing to do so. Other information you wish to share/specific needs: This is my first ever original story that is available to the public, I had often wrote stories and wound up shredding them, but I wish to become a full on fanfic author, and would very much like the thoughts of others. Though in truth I am scared of the future criticisms, but it is exactly that which will improve my story! So please do give me your real thoughts
Title: The Misfits: Reviving harmony Genre Tags: Adventure, Romance, Alternate Universe Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I don't get as much reviews as I should and I just want to know if I'm doing a good job and exactly what it is I'm doing right and need to improve on.
Name: Stray Dog Kane Title: Dead Birds (only chapters 1-10) Tags: Dark, Comedy, Sad(?) Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm trying to post this on Equestra Daily and it needs editing. It's a bit of a project around 55 chapters. (spit into 10 chapter groups due to size) Other than edits, it'd be nice if I knew it read well. I'm also doing bits myself right now.
Name: Yipyapper
Title: Hitch a Ride
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: No other consideration is needed, just want some constructive criticism for the first time in my writing career. I don't generally use prereaders or work with anyone, so I'm looking forward to my first real review.
Reviewer: Golden Vision
Status: Complete
Name: Phoenix Quill
Title: Somewhere between home and Manehatten
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Other information: Here is the link to the story I have already submitted this to Equestria Daily, and someone suggested that I send it to you for advice. I would be most grateful if you can help in any way possible. It already has one strike.
Reviewer: Starman Ghost
Status: Complete
Name: BRyeMC
Title: The Poncho Chronicles I: The Beans
Genre Tags: Romance, Comedy, Adventure
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I want you to be honest as possible since I can't get comments on the story at all. All I want is some feedback to help make the future stories as good as possible.
Thanks.
Reviewer: Golden Vision
Status: Complete
Name: Onocarcass
Title: Adventure In The Solace Isles
Genre Tags: Adventure
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Whatever you feel you need to highlight, but I already know I need an editor so there may be some issues along those lines.
Reviewer: ambion
Status: Complete
Name: ArguingPizza
Title: Forlorn Hope
Genre Tags: Dark, Human
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Grammar, as well as things such as what the following quote mentions:
Two examples I can easily turn to are:
These errors have since been fixed but similar errors no doubt exist that I have failed to catch on multiple read throughs
Reviewer: cheezesauce
Status: Complete
Name: Drake Clawfang
Title: Mega Mare
Genre Tags: Adventure, Crossover, AU
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm attempting to clean the fic up in response to a declined submission from Equestria Daily. The specific flaws noted that I also realized were a reliance on bookisms and telly talk in my dialogue, and was advised to make Twilight an interesting character since the story focuses on her near exclusively. I'm currently revising the fic to fix up these errors and establish a stronger character arc for Twilight than I previously had, and would appreciate an outsider's opinion on my efforts and what else I could do to improve the story.
Reviewer: ChromeMyriad
Status: Complete
Name: The Albinocorn
Title: Sunset of Time
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Sad
Other information: Just looking for ways to improve. I know I can always do better.
Reviewer: Plebeian
Status: Complete
Name: Anonymous Hornet
Title: Chronicles of Paradise Damned
Genre Tags: Romance, Tragedy, Human, Alternate Universe, Dark
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I do not request any specific reviewer, but the person that does end up reviewing my story will have to be patient. Unlike what is commonly posted on this site, my story is done in book format, ie. the chapters are large, like that in a high level book. Reading through all the chapters will definitely take some time.
Thanks in Advance!
-Anonymous Hornet
Reviewer: FoughtDragon01
Status: Complete (Story has since been deleted)
Name: Cerulean Voice
Title: The Equestria Games: Flight of the Pegasi
Genre Tag: Slice of Life
Other information: I have attempted to write a story as close to "show episode format" as possible. Please tell me where I have succeeded and where I have failed.
Reviewer: Nietzsche
Status: Complete
Name: SleeplessScribe
Title: Moving the Stars
Genre Tags: Romance, Slice of Life?
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: First, I'd like to ask that everything be kept to private messages. It's just the way I am, but I don't like going public with these kinds of things.
Second, this is a rather odd request. I don't like this story in the least, therefore I'll be rewriting it. What I was hoping to get out a review was:
A) What I did wrong in someone else's eyes
B) What I did right
C) Someone to discuss the rewritten version of my story with
Reviewer: Corejo
Status: Complete (PM'd to author)
Name: Syeekoh
Title: The Tragedy of Sombra
Genre Tags: Romance, Tragedy
Reviewer: kalash93
Status: Complete
Name: JawJoe
Title: Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift
Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Yes, this is a long one. For someone who likes gratuitous cartoon violence & gore. Made its rounds in the Featured Box and Equestria Daily. Should be practically free of mechanical errors (typos, grammar,...). Mainly looking for a review on plot coherence and characters. I've been told the story gets rather confusing, especially towards the end; I'd love to hear some thoughts on that. My prose was called overly purple by some, while others praised it; I'd also like a verdict on that, too. I realise, given the story's length, that this will take a while. Massive thanks to whoever picks it up.
Reviewer: ChromeMyriad
Status: Complete
Name: Crowscrowcrow
Title: Trixies Forest Retreat
Genre Tags: Sad
Other information you wish to share/specific needs:
I have no experience writing stories but fair bit of experience in role-playing.
Part of my concern is whether any of that experience translates and what I should work on to improve.
I've only recently developed an interest in reading fan-fiction, entirely the MLP communities fault for making such great stuff, and had so much fun reading I felt inspired to give it a try myself.
Reviewer: alexmagnet
Status: Complete
It's about time someone dusted these forums off.
Incoming review post mega-update.
[Story title with link] by [author name]: Reviewed by [name of reviewer with link to review]
You Do (Not) Belong by 2dextreem: Reviewed by IncoherentOrange
I'll Always be Here for You by The Abyss: Reviewed by Tired Old Man
Demon in the Glass by Tired Old Man: Reviewed by ambion
It's Cold Without a Sun: Hard to Shine Bright by NightWolf289: Reviewed by Burraku_Pansa (Story is password protected)
A Creature of the Dark by Xhoral1865: Reviewed by Pascoite
What Makes a Villain? by The Usurper: Reviewed by Nietzsche
Doctor Whooves: Nightmare in Old Equestria by sgamer82: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad
Her Rainbow, Her Butterfly by HyperBlossom7: Reviewed by Plebeian
Two Roomies and their Pest by Vrilix: Reviewed by Plebeian
As You Fancy, Minister by The Usurper: Reviewed by alexmagnet
I, Changeling by Syeekoh: Reviewed by cheezesauce
When Hearts Take Flight by cemfin: Reviewed by MidnightRambler
Rifts by Eldamaur: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad
At The Drop of A Hat (Ch. 15) by Riser5: Reviewed by ambion (PM'd to author)
"Mah Barn Door Don't Swing That Way!" by Cerulean Voice: Reviewed by Pascoite
PonyConned by Green Akers: Reviewed by Tired Old Man
Remedial Lessons by ChromeMyriad: Reviewed by Pascoite
Festival of Lights by Cascadejackal: Reviewed by ambion
The Twin Mountains by Benny: Reviewed by cheezesauce
Swooping Pegasus by FenrisianBrony: Reviewed by ambion
Prelude to Equestria by DarkCord: Reviewed by Corejo (PM'd to author)
Lost and Found by Anonymous Horney: Reviewed by Simon_oSullivan (Story is password protected)
The Ultimate Alicorn by Cerulean Voice: Reviewed by Pascoite
Conquerors by JumpingShinyFrogs: Reviewed by Starman Ghost
The Muffin by NightWolf289: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad
We're Not Heroes by BronieMan305: Reviewed by alexmagnet
Let It Not Snow by Pump It Up: Reviewed by ambion
Filial by Dafaddah: Reviewed by MidnightRambler
Twilight on Acid by Syeekoh: Reviewed by kalash93
Friendship and Mysteries by The Cake Devil: Reviewed by FloydienSlip
Cracked by SuperKnight: Reviewed by Simon_oSullivan
The Lunatics by SpaceCommie: Reviewed by Scribblestick
The Awfully Repetitive Revenge of Ahuizotl the Terrible-ish by thesecret1: Reviewed by Plebeian
Pony Dreams by Fuzzyfurvert: Reviewed byWinter Storm
Changeling Roun by Demon Eyes Laharl: Reviewed by Tired Old Man
Touching the sky by Random Gamer: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad
Ye Hawker Lads by Zettachrome: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad (Story was in GDocs at the time)
LanternFall by leonidas701: Reviewed by Quick Fix
Source by Hierophant: Reviewed by FloydienSlip
Lightning's Bolt by PaulAsaran: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad
The Future is Ours: Salvation of a Moon by KarmaSentinal: Reviewed by Tired Old Man
Prince of the Sun by TornadoBlitz: Reviewed by Quick Fix
Jumbled's Game by JumbledThought: Reviewed by Hopeless Appraisal
Shooting for Friendship by Verbose Mode: Reviewed by Scribblestick
Anthro Clopfic #116457 by Eratosthenes: Reviewed by kalash93
Dragon Chronicles Book I: Necessary Evils Part 1 by rcmgamer218: Review incomplete
Not the First by Kitty Pony: Reviewed by ambion (Story no longer exists)
The Race of Dreams by Hoof of Approval: Reviewed by FloydienSlip
Romance of the Seven Hearts by lighting dash 13: Review incomplete - author is rewriting
Daring Do and the Hollow House by DemonBrightSpirit: Reviewed by Starman Ghost
Shattered Dimensions by RAWG98: Reviewed by Simon_oSullivan
Forgotten by DollyisBestPony: Reviewed by Scribblestick
Non nobis Domine by Dsarker: Reviewed by Hopeless Appraisal
Queen of Queens by JawJoe: Reviewed by Pascoite
Fallout: Equestria - Memories by TheBobulator: Reviewed by Golden Vision
Room 219 by LastAmongEquals: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad
Fallout Equestria: Outlaw by Tofu: Reviewed by Professor Plum
The Pony On The Wall by BleedingRaindrops: Reviewed by ambion
A Mare's Best Friends by NightmareKnight: Reviewed by Hopeless Appraisal
Sheep In Equestria: Shearing Day by Galrion: Reviewed by ambion
Night Mares by NCMares: Reviewed by Golden Vision (PM'd to author)
Twilight Falls, Sunset Dawns by Drake Clawfang: Reviewed by Tired Old Man
The Perfect Day by Syeekoh: Reviewed by alexmagnet
Burn The Fallow Land by RainbowBob: Reviewed by ChromeMyriad (PM'd to author)
Conversations with Dead Ponies by Scramblers and Shadows: Reviewed by IncoherentOrange
Flight for Harmony by NixWorld: Reviewed by Simon_oSullivan
The Dull Afterglow by ThatOneWriter: Reviewed by Burraku_Pansa
Another Slice of Pie by The Fool: Reviewed by Burraku_Pansa
Of Doubts and Demons by Cursed Tale: Reviewed by Pascoite (PM'd to author)
Change by BleedingRaindrops: Reviewed by Tired Old Man (PM'd to author)
A Different Kind of Quest by MrAJL: Reviewed by Lord Sunder
Sonata's Loss by Purpleblackkiwi: Reviewed by cheezesauce
Silver Marriage by cdcdrr: Reviewed by Miss Dark Angel
Amnesia: To Err by JLB: Review incomplete
Binary Suns by Aurora-Borealis: Reviewed by IncoherentOrange
Gilded Lily by Aurora-Borealis: Reviewed by LastAmongEquals
To Drown A Butterfly by Matthew DePointe: Reviewed by Quick Fix
The Son of Earth by NagMeister: Review incomplete - author is rewriting
Equestrian Bureau of Investigation: Indecisive by NixWorld: Reviewed by Pascoite
A Heavy Crown by Fullmetal Pony: Review incomplete
Revelations BOOK 1 - Pipsqueak, A Night To Remember by VGI: Reviewed by Midnight Rambler
I Want to Take the Wings off, but I Can't by JawJoe: Reviewed by Starman Ghost
Ponies Give Me Hope by supersoup: Reviewed by Simon_oSullivan
...And we're done. Future requests will resume normal formatting.
Name: MrTweady
Title: X-Com PA (Pony Addition)
Genre Tags: Gore, Dark, Adventure, Crossover
Specific Reviewer Request: None
Other Information: I would like the review of my story more focused on grammar than anything else.
Reviewer: FloydienSlip
Status: Complete
Name: Scramblers and Shadows
Title: The Stormclouds Beneath Your Hooves
Genre Tags: Sad
Specific Reviewer Request (if any):
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm not particularly interested in mechanical problems (unless, I suppose, there's a consistent problem). Rather, I'd like to know how effective you find the characterisation, theme, prose style, plot and so forth. And, especially, if there are any tricks I missed in communicating the piece, I'd like to know about them.
Reviewer: Tired Old Man
Status: Complete
Name: BlackFireGallop
Title: Remnants
Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure, Gore, Mature, Alternate Universe, Sci-Fi
Specific Reviewer Request: None
Other Information: this story is translated from French, it was already heavely edited and corrected, but feel free to point out anything you find weird. Otherwise, I need the review to be as complete as possible, like a full analysis from it. It would help me greatly.
Reviewer: Simon_oSullivan
Status: Complete
Name: Roranicus
Title: A Dream of Sunny Days
Genre Tags: Adventure, Dark, Sad
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I saw a few of your reviews and found them fair. A Dream of Sunny Days is my first serious story and it got mainly positive feedback so far. While I do think I'm on the right track, I feel it wouldn't hurt to have someone more experience then I am take an in depth look at it and point out any problems I might not be aware of. I plan for the story to be a long and epic one, so an early review could help me fix problems before they become more serious.
Reviewer: Miss Dark Angel
Status: Complete
Name: Soto Konoha
Title: Operation: CUPPCAKES
Genre Tags: Random, Romance
Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Hate blank spaces, but you can give me anyone you want.
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Nice to see you guys hitting the group off really well. If you can, may you focus less on punctuation and grammar. Characterization and genre-specific details are mainly what I am looking for in this story. Thank you!
Reviewer: LastAmongEquals
Status: Complete
Name: Oroboro
Title: The Heart of an Author
Genre Tags: Teen, Gore, Romance, Dark, Crossover.
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Howdy.
Hoping to get this story reviewed, as I've been working on it all year and recently completed it a few weeks ago.
The story is done and over with, rather long, and I won't really go back and do anything to it other than minor grammatical revisions. What I'm looking for in a review is feedback on plot, characters, pacing, and any particular bad writing habits of mine I tend to repeat often. The story is as it is, and I have a general idea where some of my faults lie, but I'm hoping feedback will help me improve and give me some things to keep an eye out for in future writing.
Note: A lot of people say this, but the story is written to be fully accessible without any knowledge of the work it's being crossed over with, and a large number of my readers seem to agree.
Thanks,
-Oroboro
Reviewer: LastAmongEquals
Status: Incomplete
Name: 111segasonic
Title: Scattered Seeds
Genre Tags: Dark, Comedy, Crossover, Adventure, Human.
Specific Reviewer Request (if any):
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I would love it if you could help me come up with a better description.
Reviewer: cheezesauce
Status: Complete
Name: Show Stopper
Title: One Last Mission
Genre Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe
Specific Reviewer Request: None
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm trying to figure out if i'm portraying the Mane 6 in character and whether my OC is well written or not. Anthing else that needs work would be appreciated too.
Reviewer: Lord Sunder
Status: Incomplete
Name: Keam
Title: 13th of December
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Specific Reviewer Request (if any):
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'd be prefer that the review focus on plot, characters, world building etc. above spelling and grammar, which I'm well-aware of not is the best, mostly due to not having english as native language. thank you.
Reviewer: Pascoite
Status: Complete
Name: ramsesechosquad99sp
Title: Commander Thorn in Equestria
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Specific Reviewer Request (if any):
Other information you wish to share/specific needs:
Reviewer: FloydienSlip
Status: Incomplete
Name: Fifth Alicorn
Title: Sun, Moon, and Stars
Genre Tags: None
Reviewer: IncoherentOrange
Status: Complete
Name: Daemon of Decay
Title: Asylum
Genre Tags: Sad, Adventure
Specific Reviewer Request (if any): n/a
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm looking more for a look at style and flow. A few of the glaring problems with the story like glacial pacing are hard to fix at this point because it's very long - it's stuff I have to pay attention for the next story, as to fix it now would require cutting lots of chapters.
Reviewer: Tired Old Man
Status: Incomplete
Name: Hazeshift
Title: Learning About Colors
Genre Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Specific Reviewer Request (if any): ...Nah
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: a couple readers asked me if i was going to add on to this and i said i might so before that i want to get a better look at it. if possible go a bit deeper on characterization, what to focus on and what is lacking
Reviewer: Pascoite
Status: Complete
Name: Mazu Ronin
Title: The Dazzling Crusade
Genre Tags: Gore, Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Other information you wish to share: i want a complete anilyzation for this story.
Reviewer: IncoherentOrange
Status: Complete
Name: AdamThePony
Title: Hand in Hoof
Genre Tags: Human, Adventure, Comedy, Dark
Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Any reviewer would do, but one specializing in human-centric stories would be best.
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Suggestions/advice for improvement, ideas to work with, potential paths to pursue going forward.
This story is perhaps the one I am most proud of, but the dearth of comments is something that I think is killing me, as I am unsure if I am doing well or not. The bookshelf additions and new followers point towards the former, but I think a professional insight may be best for me to assure this. I ask for commentary, not for the sake of popularity, but for the sake of having people tell me what they think, good or ill. I feel that only through the thoughts of others will I be able to know where to go.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: PaulAsaran
Title: Guide Them
Genre Tags: Gore, Sad, Dark, Alternate Universe (Mature rating)
Other information you wish to share/specific needs:
Guide Them is part of a series of stories (the Them-verse) in which no one story reveals everything about what's happened to the world, but each reveals a little bit. As such, there will be some things inevitably unexplained. Essentially, all the stories are intended to be read as a set, so I don't think questions like "why didn't you explain X?" will be necessary (although criticisms for why we chose this format are welcome).
Let it be known that I'm more interested in plot critique than grammar and style.
NOTE: Not all of the Them-verse stories have been written yet: there are at least four more coming sometime in the near future. As such, the series has no clearly defined beginning or ending at the moment – those stories will be written last.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Galrion
Title: A Simple Stalk of Grass
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Reviewer: Midnight Rambler
Status: Complete
Name: Banana Prince
Title: Chochin no Uma
Genre Tag: Slice of Life
Notes: This story is an a reimagining of a G3 character, Kimono, as a G4 character. I don't like G3, but I do see that some of it is salvagable and I hope that the idea of adapting G3 more can catch on, so I want this to be good.
Reviewer: LastAmongEquals
Status: Complete
Name: WIL_I_ZIN
Title: And Then the Rain Began to Fall
Genre Tags: Sad, Human
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: This was a contest entry piece for the EQD more most dangerous contest. As they just released the top ten listing fics of that contest, I didn't score on it. I wish to have some reviewers give me some pointers and or critiques on my writing so I will be able to improve my writing for the next contest. I thank you and your team ahead of time for both your time and consideration.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Lost_Marbles
Title: A Game of Kings and Pretty Pony Princesses
Genre Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Gore
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: This is a rewrite to my first attempt at writing a story. I have an editor and a proofreader who really help out a lot, but I'd like to hear how my story holds up when looked at from a third party that is not invested in it. The sixth chapter (the mini climax for the first act) is ready to be released, it just hasn't been released yet for certain reasons. Here is the link for your reviewing convenience:
http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/718267
The password to chapter VI is lostmarbles
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Magello
Title: The US Department of Fictional Realities
Genre Tags: Dark, Comedy, Human,
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Title: To Love the Sun
Genre Tags: Gore, Romance, Tragedy, Sad, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human,
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Title: Please Count to Five
Genre Tags: Dark, Human,
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Scramblers and Shadows
Title: Class
Genre Tags: Slice of Life, Romance
Specific Reviewer Request (if any):
Other information you wish to share/specific needs:
My main focus with this piece is style and voicing. Beyond that, I'd prefer a review centred on characterisation, theme, plot, &c. rather rather than mechanics.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Crystalis McCloud
Title: Equestria's Strife Online
Genre Tags: Crossover, Adventure, Human
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: Just looking for a general review. A perspective on how I've managed to build the story so far, characterizations, structural errors, the works.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Syeekoh
Title: Stretchy Coconut
Genre Tags: Random
Specific Reviewer Request (if any): FloydienSlip
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Shattered Heart
Title: Tumult
Genre Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Romance (soon to be)
Specific Reviewer Request (if any): Any willing to do so.
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: This is my first ever original story that is available to the public, I had often wrote stories and wound up shredding them, but I wish to become a full on fanfic author, and would very much like the thoughts of others. Though in truth I am scared of the future criticisms, but it is exactly that which will improve my story! So please do give me your real thoughts
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Cyber System
Title: The Misfits
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Title: The Misfits: Reviving harmony
Genre Tags: Adventure, Romance, Alternate Universe
Specific Reviewer Request (if any):
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I don't get as much reviews as I should and I just want to know if I'm doing a good job and exactly what it is I'm doing right and need to improve on.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete
Name: Stray Dog Kane
Title: Dead Birds (only chapters 1-10)
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Sad(?)
Other information you wish to share/specific needs: I'm trying to post this on Equestra Daily and it needs editing. It's a bit of a project around 55 chapters. (spit into 10 chapter groups due to size) Other than edits, it'd be nice if I knew it read well. I'm also doing bits myself right now.
Reviewer:
Status: Incomplete