Comments ( 291 )
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Csquared08
Group Admin

I’ll post all the reviews requests I get here. All other posts will be deleted. I’ll edit the posts as assignments are given and completed. Additionally, if you so desire, you may volunteer to take a story. Simply PM me or Burraku (as he is our resident story assigner) and we’ll take care of putting that in the post..

Speaking of assignments, if you’re in the group, you’re eligible for assignments (unless you’ve said otherwise). Please PM Burraku_Pansa with your preferences based on this list:

Name:
My Strength (editing, storycraft, plot, characters, etc):
My Genre Preferences (+ for I love it, - for I hate it, blank for you'll generally read it)
Clop:
Gore:
Romance:
Comedy/Random:
Sad/Tragedy:
Dark:
Crossover:
Adventure:
Slice of Life:
Alt Univ:
HiE/BiE (that's human/brony in equestria fics):


Once you have finished your review, please add it to the appropriate folder. It'll be the one titled "Requested Reviews." That should make things fairly simple. Again, this is for the purposes of Member Management. We want to be able to keep track of how you guys are doing. It also is a nice way of notifying us that the story has been reviewed and the assignment (or volunteering) is complete.

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Armalite
Title: Aliens: New World
Tags: Romance, Tragedy, Dark, Crossover, Adventure, Human

Reviewer: Burraku_Pansa
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Krushnazag
Title: Memento Luna
Genre Tags: Dark, Sad
Other information you wish to share: I submitted this to the Author Support Group once before. It got two out of five passing grades. Two of the fails just had problems with a repetitive error, but otherwise said they really liked it. The other did't seem to like it at all. *shrugs* by the time I finished fixing it and added the new chapter, the 'submit for review' folder was closed and hasn't opened since. I still haven't found out why it's closed. Anyways, I wanna see how well I did on the fixes.

Reviewer: twow443
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Wise Cracker
Title: Junior Flight Camp: the Crusader and the Bullhead
Genre tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Other information: This was my attempt at making an interesting 'Scootaloo learns to fly' story by adding in an OC who's a good foil to her. Doldrum Whimper is basically supposed to be Fluttershy on steroids, but that admittedly doesn't really show until later. He's got a little more of a snap than Fluttershy does, you could say.

The story covers a lot of different themes (bullying, equality in friendship, etc.) and most of them are only broached because of the presence of the OC. That said, he's not supposed to hog the spotlight. There's some backstory for Rainbow Dash and pegasus ponies in general, and the mentor/student relationship between Scoots and RD gets shown in the context where Rainbow isn't just teaching Scootaloo, which is a little different from the norm. There's also a little bit on the consequences of teaching Scootaloo to fly, which feels a little underexplored in other such stories.

It hasn't gotten any real negative reviews yet, but when I try to explain the story people keep pointing out things that should be wrong, and I don't know if they are. Whimper and Scootaloo take turns in 'beating each other' in some respect, and at first he comes across as a Gary Stu because he gets more attention. Thing is, that also happens in real life to a bully victim: one the responses adults have is that they molly cuddle the victim, which only makes them appear more annoying and more of a target. So the attention is warranted. It also makes his eventual fail more dramatic. The world doesn't adapt to him, as far as I can tell, which is the defining mark of a Gary Stu.

At the end -- mild spoiler -- the two are pretty much equal because they both learned something from each other, which was the whole point of the story. Some things are left unexplained for the sequel, though, still working on that.

So what I'd like to know is: does this story do what it sets out to do? Is it an interesting 'Scootaloo learns to fly' story, and does the OC serve the story or is it the other way around and are people just really forgiving of it?

Reviewer: Simon_oSullivan
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: RainbowBob
Title: Just Joking
Genre Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Other information you wish to share: Beginning chapters are a little ruff, but I improved on later ones. I'd really like an opinion on the characters to see if I'm getting them right.

Reviewer: ScreenedPlum
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Tsuguri
Title: Luna Nos Custodit
Genre Tags: Dark
Other Information: A warning that it is a bit on the dark side to start though.

Reviewer: ScribbleStick
Status: COMPLETE (links)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: MrSing
Title: Reciprocity: A Metro 2033 and MLP Crossover
Genre Tags: Tragedy; Dark; Crossover; Adventure; Human.
Other information you wish to share: It's my first fic and English isn't my first language, so I would really appreciate a review. I probably need it a lot.

Reviewer: IncoherentOrange
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: IncoherentOrange
Title: Eclipse
Genre Tags: Human
Other information you wish to share: Need a special look at grammar.

Reviewer: Aquillo
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: ZoidbergIsBestPony
Title: The Great Pony War: The Legend of Hearth's Warming Eve
Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe
Specific Request (if any): General Guidance and Advice
Other information you wish to share:
My first story, The Discord Continuum, was a great success, but this current story seems to be struggling a great deal more to find readers. (Partially because the first story had all the star trek fans coming out of the woodwork!)

I made this story significantly deeper and put a lot more effort into it. One reader gave a stellar review in the comments for it, but the favs/likes have been stagnant for a few weeks. I realize there are 60000+ stories here, so getting noticed is not a trivial feat, however if there are some general guidelines or obvious things that need tweaking, let me know. (possibly even the chapter release day/time!) Thanks.

Reviewer: cheezesauce
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: HyperRandomness
Title: The Long Way Home
Genre Tags: Romance, Sad, Adventure.
Specific Request (if any): Critical review. Every little detail helps.
Other information you wish to share: WHY did I write this? WHY???

Reviewer: cheezesauce
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Delvius
Title: Fallout Equestria : New Roam
Genre Tags: Romance, Dark, Crossover, Adventure, Alternate Universe
Specific Request (if any): None; any reviewer is fine for me.
Other information you wish to share: Well, let's see...
*The story's pretty long, which is probably the main reason I've been getting so few reviews.
*I personally feel that it's good; in fact, only ONE comment out of almost four hundred said anything downright negative.
*For those familiar with Fallout Equestria, mine takes place in the Zebra Nation. A heavily Romified one.

Reviewer: ScreenedPlum
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Ghost-111
Title: De Luce et Tenebris Umbra
Genre Tags: Tragedy,Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human
Specific Request (if any): Someone who does not have an inherent dislike of an Anthromorphic/Humanized work of fiction. Also doesn't mind if the fic is slow at first.(Introduction of characters, flashbacks, and several few, but major, altercations.)
Other information you wish to share: My fiction is a work in progress, and I do not have much experience writing fiction that is to be read by other viewers. There are several possible cliches and plot errors that I have marked and will fix once a certain part of the story has been reached and the plot point has become fixed into the canon. I believe that I am one of the first to venture into the realm of pre-existence origins which will be elaborated later on into the fiction. I do not know if others have already gone into this zone as I have not been able to find any that have included such an origin.
This story is the result of three years of background history development for an actual novel and a recent, surprising, but altogether enjoyable discovery of a love for all things cute. The novel itself reached a point of stagnation 2 months before the time in which I dared to watch an episode of MLP FIM to relieve boredom, (along with a curiosity born of watching a few video's from Dustykat and Saberspark)
If you happen to discover another such story that has a pre-existence origin (if it's not to much trouble) I would like to be informed of it. Though considering not much of the true background has been published yet, I cannot yet claim rights to such an origin should it have not been used yet. Should someone else already have had such an idea I would like to be able to read their story and possibly give them credit for starting the origin, yet unknown to me. Should someone else be inspired by the future lore that I will post, I would like at least a message or acknowledgment of credit or sorts.

Reviewer: Page Flipper
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: MagerBlutooth
Title: Not My Little Diamond
Genre Tags: Human, Adventure
Other information you wish to share: I have no idea where my story stands in a critical sense, and it's starting to eat at me.

Reviewer: Page Flipper
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Mr.Scribe
Title: From my world to theirs
Genre Tags:Tragedy, Comedy, Alternate Universe, Human
Specific Request (if any): Someone who doesn't dislike Humanized / HiE.
Other information you wish to share: This story is humanized. I mostly need to know if the story works and whether its needs to be improved or not. But feel free to be honest with me with the review.

Reviewer: Spabble
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: twow443
Title: Repairing Harmony, Book 1: Twilight Sparkle
Genre Tags: Romance, Adventure, Alternate Universe
Specific Request: I was asking if you could tell me what you thought on the plot and if you could follow along as the story updates.
Other Info: This is a joint effort story, but I do all of the writing. My co-author helps with storycraft and editing,

Reviewer: FluttershyisMetal
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: nygiants93
Title: Shame at the Checkout
Genre Tags: Random, Comedy, Slice of Life
Other information you wish to share: This is the first story I'm submitting here, so let me know if you need anymore information. Also, this story was submitted weeks ago, but I want to get someone to check it over and see if it has the potential to get onto EQD. I don't have a specific reviewer, so anyone will do. Once again, let me know if there is anything else you need from me.

Reviewer: Miss Dark Angel
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Page Flipper
Title: The Night We Lost Her
Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure
Other information you wish to share: I had Scribblestick edit for me, so I know that grammar is out of the way. Don't look too hard for any grammar mistakes, but if you find any, just let me know. I'm looking for someone to provide criticism for my plot, characterisation, pacing, inconsistencies, all that jazz.

Reviewer: FoughtDragon01
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Wise Cracker
Title: The Upside to Your Backside
Genre tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Specific requests: The author's notes state what the story was supposed to elicit. Does it accomplish this for a more critical mind? And is this *gasp* EqD quality or not?
Additional information: This story won the second Author Support Writing Prompt, and made it to the Padded Cell on the old TWE group. It is the only story I have that gives me some genuine bragging rights, and the only one whose upvotes reach triple digits. Comments from both the AS judges and the review of my Flight Camp fic led to some grammatical editing. Both in terms of critique and popularity, it's the best thing I've written so far. I'd like to know just how good my best is.

Reviewer: OtterMatt
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: FluttershyisMetal
Title: Butterflies Seek Rainbows
Genre Tags: Romance, Sad, Slice of Life
Additional Information: The fic isn't done yet and has been put on hiatus for lack of motivation. Being so, it isn't actually far enough in the story for it to get sad. I know that the story is pretty bad but I don't really know what to do to fix it. That is why I have come to you and your group for help. I am hopeful that the information that you guys will provide me will help get me back to writing for the story.

Reviewer: OtterMatt
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Invisible Cadance
Title: Princess Rarity
Genre Tags: Slice of Life
Other information you wish to share: This is the reworked version where ScribbleStick and Twow443 reviews on the old version helped me.

Reviewer: Burraku_Pansa
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Miss Dark Angel
Title: FEAR
Genre Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Adventure
Other information you wish to share: Oh, how I need this to be reviewed badly. This, for me, was a project--a not so good one, at that. The darker, more tragic genre was beyond new to me, but at the time I loved the idea, so I went into it. In fact, the only reason I published it was because I had over 20,000 words to it, and the last thing I wanted was to dump all that hard work. But I know it's bad; I can't explain it, I can just FEEL it. I have asked for reviews at one point, not at all caring as to all the hate it would receive, but hardly a response. I want to know what's wrong with it, because I know there's something. I think a review station like this could at least help me. I'm in the midst of writing another, much better story to balance this out, but anyway, this severely needs a review.

Reviewer: Simon_oSullivan
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Chuckward
Title: Caramel and Thunderlane's Sexy Adventure
Genre Tags: Comedy, Random, Clop
Other information you wish to share: I just think it'd be interesting if I had someone review a gay clopfic.

Reviewer: twow443
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: kaancak
Title: My HeartBeats For You
Genre Tags: Romance, Sad, Dark, Random

Reviewer: twow443
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: UnweptSchlipps
Title: Too Close to the Sun
Genre Tags: Adventure
Other information you wish to share: A very new story. Only two chapters, both fairly short. Just say whatever you feel is necessary.

Reviewer: Simon_oSullivan
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: UnweptSchlipps
Title: The Elements of Love
Genre Tags: Adventure, Dark
Other Info: This one’s much older than the first (I think older than when the TWE was founded, actually!) It’s got 51 comments, yet none of them were real reviews, unless you count “Update soon!” as a real review. It’s well into the story, about 14 chapters long. You don’t need to review the entire thing, but if you do, it would be VERY appreciated.

Reviewer: Aquillo
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Amneiger
Title: The Fluttershy of Tomorrow
Genre Tags: Dark, Crossover, Adventure, Human
Other information you wish to share: The short version is that this story seems to have sunk down into the depths of non-viewership, and I don't know why. I've gotten three favorable comments and no unfavorable comments so far, but otherwise haven't gotten any feedback. The view graph seems to be implying that there are more people who are reading this than have favorited or commented, but if so they haven't commented or otherwise made themselves known. (I hope those views aren't Google bots.) If there's something wrong with the writing, I'd like to know now instead of later.

The crossover is with a tabletop game called Genius: the Transgression. You shouldn't need to know anything about Genius to understand the story; any needed information will be figured out by Fluttershy or otherwise eventually explained.

Reviewer: Burraku_Pansa
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Crypsis
Title: My Special Rose
Genre Tags: Romance

Reviewer: Miss Dark Angel
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: S3rb4n
Title: Fallout Equestria - Viva Las Pegasus
Genre Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Crossover, Adventure, Alternate Universe
Other information you wish to share: None really, apart from the fact that it's my first 'long' fic and that it's still in progress.

Reviewer: ScreenedPlum
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Rainboom_Flash
Title: Rainbooms & Marshmallows
Tags: Romance
Other information: This is my first serious fic, and especially my first romance/clop fic. I plan to write more in the future, but first I need to know what I can do to improve.

Reviewer: Invictus_rising
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: electreXcessive
Title: Solitary
Tags: Sad, Dark
Other information I wish to share: If possible I would like a full review of grammar, spelling, story mechanics, and characterization so that I may improve in the future.

Reviewer: OtterMatt
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: electreXcessive
Title: Spitfire's First Time
Tags: Comedy, Random
Other information: I would like to work on my comedy a bit and hone my skills. I haven't really received any in-depth feedback on any of my comedy stories so far. I'd like to be able to know what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.

Reviewer: ScribbleStick
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: TheAlmightySage
Title: Apples and Wheat
Genre Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Slice of Life

Reviewer: Spabble
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Wuten
Title: Brave New Equestria
Tags: Crossover, Human, Dark, Tragedy, Sad
Other Information: It's a HiE fic, a crossover with the dystopian novel "Brave New World".

Reviewer: Quick Fix
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: John41
Title: Darkening Star
Genre Tags: Dark, Crossover, Adventure, Human
Other information you wish to share: This is a Star Trek: Voyager crossover. Some familiarity with Trek would be helpful, though I’ve tried to make it as accessible as possible.

Reviewer: Burraku_Pansa
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Rhino
Title: The First Steps of the Rest of Your Life
Genre Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Specific Request (if any): None
Other information you wish to share: This is the first, and only, story I have written. As I write more and more of it, I look back to the earlier chapters and make minor improvements, but I believe a full fledged review would greatly assist the story as a whole. It is a bit lengthy as of now, and is also incomplete. As much as I love my commentors, one thing I would greatly appreciate is an honest review. Thus I turned to this group. I hope that both my story and writing will improve as a result, should someone choose to review it.

Reviewer: ambion
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: ScribbleStick
Title: The Last Crusade
Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe
Specific Request: none
Other information you wish to share: My primary concern is character development, particularly later in the story, but any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I know it's pretty long (33K words and still incomplete), so if this takes longer than usual, I understand.

Reviewer: Page Flipper
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Sarcasmo
Title: Obliteration, Chaos, Destruction
Genre Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Other information: I do believe I'd like a reviewer to point out the obvious. Right now, there is much ambiguity in my perception of myself as an author that I would like to diminish one way or another.

Reviewer: FluttershyisMetal
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: DerpyMuffins15
Title: Me, Myself, and I
Tags: Slice of Life, Random, Comedy
Specific Request: OtterMatt (He should remember who I am.)
Other information I wish to share: After cleaning up this story, and trying to rid my LUS, I hope OtterMatt can say to me that it was a good story. I haven't forgotten about what you said about me, and I mean to prove you wrong.

Reviewer: OtterMatt
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: BornIn1142
Title: Sunshine and Fire
Genre Tags: Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe.
Specific Request (if any): None.
Other information you wish to share: There'd be no need to go over the first five or so chapters with a fine-toothed comb or anything. I actually submitted those two reviewers on Ponychan's /fic/ board when I was just starting out, so they're basically covered (and material I put to paper over a year ago isn't as relevant to my current writing anyway). Of course, I would still make a note of everything said about those sections as well.

Reviewer: ambion
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: kaancak
Title: My Heartbeats For You (Yes, it is written together, my choice as a typical word trick.)
Genre Tags: Romance, Sad, Dark, Adventure
Other information you wish to share: My main language is not English, not heavily take on the grammar, stuff like that, if possible. I am not english, thats all.

Reviewer: Miss Dark Angel
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Spike120812
Title: The Brother and The Sitter
Genre Tags: Romance, Comedy
Specific Request: OtterMatt

Reviewer: OtterMatt
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Heliostorm
Title: Fragment
Genre Tags: Adventure, AU
Specific Request (if any): None
Other information you wish to share: I'm coming to you guys because I'm convinced I've done something wrong. Less than half of the people who view the first chapter go on to view the second. Going by this I've been forced to conclude that my first chapter is somehow a let-down compared to the description. That said I'm not asking for a review on only the first chapter since the other ones are important as well, but what I want to know most of all is why I can't seem to retain readers.

Reviewer: Axel Nyan
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: wYvern
Title: All Alone
Genre Tags: Sad
Other information you wish to share: There don't seem to be any major flaws, but to improve my writing, I'd like to have it really plucked apart by a critical mind; words choice, overall flow, sentence/paragraph structure, anything you have to offer. Thank you!

Reviewer: cheezesauce
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: DemPonies
Title: Twilight's Odyssey
Genre Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe
Other information you wish to share: The setting of this story is an Equestria in which Discord, Luna, Celestia, and other powerful spirits/alicorns never existed, and thus ponykind is ruled by "normal" ponies. It starts by following Twilight as she gets lost during a Summer Sun Celebration.

Reviewer: Biglulu
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: BronieMan305
Title: Guardian of Nature
Genres: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Other info: I am absolutely horrid at going into details where details are needed

Reviewer: NATOstrike
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: RainbowBob
Title: Seriously?
Genre Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Other information you wish to share: Was created by a crazy Skype chat, but you already knew that.

Reviewer: Csquared08
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: RainbowBob
Title: Hades Is Such A Great Neighbor
Genre Tags: Dark, Comedy, Crossover, Slice of Life, Human
Specific Request (if any): Person must watch the entire Hercules movie before watching.
Other information you wish to share: Hades is from the Hercules movie and a little bit of the animated series. No Kingdom Hearts was involved.

Reviewer: ScreenedPlum
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: AmselCommando
Title: Forged Through Hellfire
Genre Tags: Dark, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Other information you wish to share: I have been told there are a number of 'awkward' sentences in this story. I would appreciate it if someone can highlight them.

Reviewer: Aquillo
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Rainboom_Flash
Title: A Chance Encounter
Genre Tags: Dark
Other information you wish to share: Contains some dark/disturbing things such as death. Is also tentacle erotica, so be fore-warned.

Reviewer: La Barata
Status: COMPLETE (link)

Csquared08
Group Admin

Name: Kalash93
Title: Last One Standing
Genre Tags: Sad, Dark, Slice Of Life
Other information you wish to share: I have long been toying with the idea of submitting this to Equestria Daily. This is actually one of my serious writing pieces that I actually care about. I want to make this piece be something that makes an impression on the reader. I ask that the reviewer not hold back anything.

Reviewer: ScribbleStick
Status: COMPLETE (link)

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