• Member Since 9th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen March 21st


Just a writer. Nothing more.

Comments ( 189 )

Normally, I wouldn't pay attention to what initially appears to be a simple clopfic, but so far this has been a legitimately interesting story. I hope the bottom doesn't fall out of this next chapter, but for now you have my upvote, and I am optimistic.

Don't disappoint me. :pinkiecrazy:

4959157 the premise is simple, and there will be plenty of chances to get your keyboard messy, but this is absolutely a character story, have no fear.

Excellent; really enjoy buildup

Hmm. Definetly interesting. Sure wanna see another, but this time experienced and dominating customer-stallion.

i feel dirty..... and i dont care :derpytongue2: but good so far keep it up

I think this story is pretty good i want more.

This was very good. Superb character development as our main character forces himself to try something he normally would never do for bits, and is forced to deal with the reality that he liked it, and that he probably just ruined his ass.

However, I think the ending was too abrupt. Even if the two stallions decided not to talk much after that, his partner still would have cleaned up, maybe stood around awkwardly for a bit after mumbling his thanks, and finally dropped the bits on his dresser and left. The entire thing was over in about 4 paragraphs. I really think something else would happen for the first time you have gay sex with some random dude.

Can you say mental issues inbound?

You're not wrong. Part of that was intentional, as the ending was supposed to mirror the dazed and disjointed mind of the protagonist, but I can safely say I kinda pooched that. :rainbowlaugh:

Hmm, I love this. I need next a mare who comes in a maid outfit wanted to be dominated and be his "Sex Slave for a night"

A fun, interesting take on the usual clop story. I like the conflict of internal emotions and that even afterwards he's still very unsure about it. The whole awkwardness thing was both realistic, and super adorable. I can't wait to see more!


I like the characterization :pinkiehappy: Good job!

Sold. But you probably won't like it! :trollestia:


But I do. :derpytongue2:

Still, this makes two chapters with awkward nervous customers and zero with confident, dominant stallions. Still waiting )

Patience, grasshopper. It's in my plans. But all things must move as the plot dictates, and not before their turn. So the balance of life continues. :moustache:


My pet snake is ready, sifu, but if Harmony dictates, it shall wait.

Clop here is good, but I think a flashback scene or some hint of what he was going through would have helped make the feels more effective. They are there, but we don't yet have a good connection to the character.

This...I like this. Very well done, good sir or madam! :twilightsmile:

Why do I find this likable? I normally gag at m/m clop, yet your take and approach to this story has some how made this okay to me.....:rainbowhuh:

My life has no meaning anymore....:derpyderp2:

Honestly? It might be because I don't much like m/m clop, either. Go fig.

4987017 :rainbowderp:........ Why did you write it, if you don't like it?

Hey, someone's gotta do it right! :derpytongue2:

Seriously, though, it's just how the plot happened in my head. I dunno. Can't really explain it. Some of the best advice I've ever heard about writing was the advice to "take your characters and put them in the place they least want to be, and then get them out again." That was step one down the rabbit hole. Don't worry, it'll be more equal-opportunity overall. :twilightblush:

4987084 My .EXE stopped working along time ago, but I understand where your going.

Your fiction is the First M/M clop that has my..... that has my... Favorite.

*Slumps over*

4987110 Very funny, but my brain doesn't have those buttons.

Chapters in a day is an exception, not a rule. Especially as my standard rule is that I never release a chapter until I have the next done and being edited. When inspiration comes, though, you just sorta go with it.

Also, FWIW, the next chapter is easily the most painful thing I've ever written. :fluttershbad:

Nice! Though aftermath and talking with friends pretty grim, Cherry is epic, and whole sex was cute. Sister of Berry Punch, mb?)

And why is next chapter most painful thing?

If that letter turns out to have just been a prank i will laugh herder than ever before.

Very hot story. And very nice on plot too. It takes a LOT to make me give an absolute half of a damn about an OC character, and you've done it wonderfully.
Very well done.:twilightsmile:

First you write m/m clop that I like, now we have straight clop And some drama?!

You are proving that my follow and favorite was well spent.

Comment posted by Krenshaw deleted Sep 13th, 2014

Keep it up, baby! This story's getting better and better.

Encounter suggestion: stallion that wants to be on the receiving end, give oral, and/or 69. I imagine that would throw Dust for a loop.

Also, have you considered Dust having any awkward meetings with clients during the day?

No dream is worth the shit that Dust just had happen to him. He is now labeled the campus whore. I know nothing is going to happen to the asshole that did this to him. In trying to keep his dream alive, he just destroyed any chance of it happening.

Very good narration, I really liked it. Wai does this not have more views though? :pinkiehappy:

I figured this was where it was going. I was not disappointed.

Hm... I can see a few ways it can go, but I hope not with 'and Dust was too wumpy to do anything, didn't tell anyone, no one cared etc'. In fact, if done properly, he can fuck up this unicorn so hard.... both within and without a law.

Holy shit, that was better than what I expected. Great grammar, couldn't find any errors whatsoever!
The act itself was sensual and awesomely described, great job :pinkiehappy:

Footlight broke, gasping softly. "Dust, I—"

Oy, the name is Copper!

I'm Copper, you're coltfriend.


Other than that, another fabulous chapter :pinkiehappy:

and rolled onto her , back

Excessive comma

Dust rubbed her legs as sensually as he knew how as he leaned in a took a deep, surreptitious sniff

Dust rubber her legs as sensually as he knew how, leaning in to take a deep...

different from a stallion

that of a stallion*

Dust idly wondered if her cum would taste better, too. It could

Double spaces at beginning of sentences and excessive comma. Settle down there, lover boy :raritywink:

so she must be unbelievably sensitive down there.

Use a past tense here.

Dust panting breathing

Choose one :twilightsmile:

Trigger warning: Rape.
This chapter makes me feel very uncomfortable for enjoying the last ones. I never wished death so hard on anyone before.

Flagged as Resolved

Except for the double-space thing. A comma is required before a too/as well/also in that context, and I went to school back when a double space was the rule. Since there still isn't a hard and fast "wrong" answer to that, I'm sticking with what I know and like.

Thanks for the proofing, I appreciate it.

I absolutely understand. I was almost physically ill while writing it.

I'm so shaken up I'm writing something of a one-shot to vent now. Hope you don't mind.

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