Daedelus
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I'm liking where this is going, you've explained his power up from normal dude to muscular guy, his weaponry, and future skillset whilst setting up that ponies were pricks for no reason. Also even setup a situation where he acquires magic and a rule 63 queen umbra for a waifu later.
Only thing is you didn't clearly explain was if the ponies had a reason for their dislike of humans, why doesn't he just head to ponyville, or which time this is that sombra came back. In the past before Luna's banishment to the moon or season three sombra. This along would answer why Celestia didn't send him to twilight and her friends.
Do later chapters address this?
media1.tenor.com/images/34e9e3c7322875824411f10c7938e7e7/tenor.gif?itemid=11990772
10440048
calm friend, it is only the first chapter, give him time to develop the story I am sure that all questions will be answered throughout the story, these things do not rush.
10440048
I'll brush over that subject in later chapters, yes. I'm happy you enjoy it.
Good story. I'll definently keep this on my tracking list.
Can’t wait for more!
10440048
Well I bet the "reason" is very stupid or garbage. And as a excuse of being Xenophobic/Racist jerks. Karma will come crashing down on their heads.
I think that’s a grammar mistake.
I would talk to Celestia and Luna about how the guards treat me, and if they can’t or choose not to do anything, then I would take the deal.
This is a remake of something?
May I see the original?
Are you going to finish this story
10442155
I'll do my best, I'm currently in my senior year of highschool and this online school shit is so time consuming.
Donovan the Accursed... sounds familiar.
Donovan the Accursed... sounds familiar.
Don't piss off the blacksmith, it'd be a real shame if that armor broke after just one strike. A smith who likes you and a smith who hates you could be the deciding factor on whether or not your equipment does it's job. Much like a cleric, it'd be a real dick move if they ressurected the thief instead of the tank because the tank is an asshole.
What
Have not read the story yet.
But the description is very, very, very interesting.
So, I'm willing to throw away caution out the window, and follow your story.
... I just hope I won't be disappointed in a permanent hiatus, or drop of interest (like so many others).
10440048
Bruv, this is quite accurate to the show.
It's blatant racism, the only difference here is that these ponir sthink themselves the predator and act with agression while the show's ponies think all which is not themselves as savages and react with fear and blatant distrust.
cdn.myanimelist.net/images/characters/16/332470.jpg
Sorry I see Donovan and I can't help myself
You have my attention. Can’t wait for more!
Okay, I’ll follow this.
Also kinda imagining Donovan looking a bit like Isaac from Castlevania animation.
10442717
True dat. Would be a shame if cleric could not heal ya ’cause your ”soooo faar awaay”. Or your armor fails due to not getting enough work done to it, due to constant interruptions.
10444210
"What's that? Your golden helmet didn't protect you from that wooden club? Well, shit material aside, quality armor would be wasted on someone who not only doesn't even try to properly care for his equipment, but treats the one who makes and repairs it for a living worse than the criminals on death row."
"Your sword broke on contact with chainmail? Well that's just unfortunate."
"Remember, I'm your only blacksmith. I decide when you get your repairs and replacements as well as the quality of such. You need me a lot more than I need you. Just remember that, because I might just 'accidentally' give you faulty equipment if you keep this up. I could also fake an injury after a 'friendly' visit from you and ruin your career. Do you really want to play this game? Because it's going to entertain me a lot more than you can hurt me."
"You may be above me on the pecking order, but I'm the one who has the final say on whether or not you stay there when your job gets dangerous."
Ok. This is good shit. I'll read it. Honestly. Take the deal Donovan. Show the ponies who's boss and snap their necks
Why would you pick on your blacksmith? They have a +3 strength modifier just for picking their profession.
10444257
this is also why you don't piss of medics or chiefs
Wow, I am loving this! I hope to see more.
Also was it just me or does Umbra honestly Care for him? Like she sounded honestly sad about what was happening to him.
Also Obligatory "Welcome to the Dark Side, We have Cookies!"
Love it already so please dont get discouraged, your doing great!
Noice. Donovan needs to RIP AND TEAR THESE BITCHES And start to get a better life.
I really hope when the inevitable confrontation comes about that he gets a chance to explain himself (and proven to be truthful), especially when it's as he and Umbra said, his choices were:
A. Continue being ignored by the only people capable of helping him while working a thankless job and being a punching bag.
B. Accept the offer and (assuming he doesn't get discovered until later) prove himself to be more useful away from the forge as well as establish himself as someone to not fuck with.
B-1. Quit the guard and make a living with his new powers while depriving the guard of it's only blacksmith.
10457986
So he decodes to let the evil bitch into his mind to do ehatever she wanta and be her pawn, ignoring that she's more likely than not going to fuck him over? Why not just kill himself, it'd be quicker.
10458036
If you think about it, whether she lets him remain in control is another matter entirely, she'll still give him the power he wants/ needs anyway, he'll still likely get his revenge even if he's not the one holding the knife.
10458036
See that alternate universe tag? Means the world and characters in my story is what I want it to be. So if I want Umbra to be somewhat considerate and not a bloodthirsty tyrant (at the moment) it's my business.
Queen Umbra
My second favorite female counterpart next to Gleaming Shield
And so it begins...
I wonder what excuse Sunbutt might try when questioned about pretty much never checking how he was doing, or when serious lack of ”harmony and friendship” towards non-ponies in her guard is pointed out?
10458024
....
Why the fuck didn't he quit yet?
No seriously?
There's no other blacksmith in the whole castle.
He probabaly an A rank blacksmith judging by how well he does his job...
The chapter is titled “The Decision” but let’s be real here, he never really had a choice.
10458090
He needs the money. No one else will hire him even though he would easily pass the background check and they have more than a few positions open. The military will accept almost anyone, whether they make it past training is another matter entirely. He could quit, but basically the only job he could get would be bounty hunting, there's no guarantee he'll even be paid for that though, and he has no reason to believe he'll get better treatment elsewhere. At least this job puts food on the table and has to provide benefits of some kind like healthcare.
When corruption will be complete I hope he will be able to change forms at will,into a darker one
Something like a Witch King, Nazgul
10458061
Personally I don't think her being reasonable is much of a stretch. No one is 100% evil and when it comes to kings and presidents, the truth has often more to do with trying to get access to the other countries resources and lands. Winners always vilify the losers. The way to take things is by force. Military or sanctions, or international pressures. Either way your strong arming another country. You have to get your citizens to be OK with that, and so you make the victim country Evil, or backward, or say that their slaves to an oppressive ruler.
I personally like when Authors give villains actual depth. The best villains are the ones that you secretly root for. The ones that the readers like and admire. Darth Vader, Hannibal Lecter, Loki, Spike from Buffy, Q from Trek.
As for your story so far, Im liking it and you have a follower.
The Monk
“and brought her muzzle to his ear. “If you so much as hurt one little hair on her head, I’ll feed you to my cock,” she hissed.” -Some Leech
10458024
I hope he quits being the black smith to and just decides to move out of the city and find some place to start training with his new powers.
Great Chapter! Things are starting to get very interesting, now that he's forced to choose the dark side because of the fact that if he continues to live the way he is now things won't change.
Hmm. You have my attention. Oh Writer, mine.
10458740
DON'T WISH FOR ANYTHING!!!
I am interested
Count me in
10458765
Perhaps I made a mistake. I've already wished for a slice of pepperoni. Only a slice.
10459265
You have doomed us all...
I'd love for there to be a scene where Celestia and the mane six asks why he turned against harmony, and have him respond with basically a video montage of every misdeed done to him(even better if she interrupts after the first showing of a beating thinking its the only one and have him respond with some thing like "1 beating, no try every day sometime twice a day since I got here for no reason other than that I existed") Plus mention to why he never tried to tell them followed by him showing his results of him trying to.
Embrace the Darkness!